pmdd & relationships by elizabeth santiago ma lmft

#TherapistLiz @TherapistLiz [email protected]

A THERAPEUTIC APPROACH

PMDD & Relationships


Today we’ll discuss…

Types of Therapy & Why How to apply therapy to the PMDD sufferer & your

partner/family PMDD Plan of Action Take away’s


Why Therapy?

To develop new patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that are more productive for the person

Promote increased positive interactions and experiences Develop a sense of unity within your interpersonal

relationships Create support and an exchange between people Provides a neutral environment to discuss “hot topics” Learn how to communicate in an out of PMDD mode Develop conflict resolution or dissolution styles Develop a “PMDD Plan of Action” together Discussing meaning in the relationship or the family Identifying and communicating the root feelings Learn forgiveness


Types of Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

The purpose of CBT is to uncover and address negative or destructive thoughts that lead to negative feelings and destructive behaviors

Exploring and connecting a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors This can begin from either identifying the thoughts, the feelings or the behaviors

Behaviors Feelings

Thoughts


Another Type of Therapy

Couples & Family Therapy

Similar to individual therapy, couples and family therapy involves the partner and/or people in the family

Trained professionals can assist with developing communication between family members

Can lead the family to understanding and supporting the woman with PMDD and vice versa

Can help children understand the difficulties and redirect feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, etc.


How to apply CBT to the PMDD sufferer

Triggers

Identify your trigger (s) Make a comprehensive list Ask your partner or family- they may know better than

you sometimes

Explore how you react to these triggers• Feelings: Angry? Lonely? Frustrated? Annoyed?• Thoughts: I want to hit someone, I hate myself, I want to

die, No one likes me…• Behaviors: Do you throw things? Yell? Cut yourself? Binge

eat?



Communicate Tell them how you’re feeling before you loose control

• Take a deep breath• Communicate the trigger• Communicate what you need or what can be done• Use your Plan of Action if you need help

Only YOU know what you need at that moment• People don’t read minds so be patient with them also• Don’t hold back for fear of resentment or argument• Be specific!!

Tip: Remember, people won’t know what you need unless you tell them!



Knowing your limits

Care for the PMDD sufferer Forgiving yourself for your PMDD Therapy Actively using your PMDD Plan of Action

Care for the caregiver Taking the time for you to have the space you need Validate her feelings in and out of PMDD mode Respecting her in and out of PMDD mode Therapy Actively using the PMDD Plan of Action


PMDD Plan of Action

What is it?

Three page worksheet developed by the NAPMDD Clinical Outreach Committee designed to assist PMDD sufferers and their partners/families a plan to get through PMDD mode

Purpose

To develop a means of mutual respect & communication To have a set standard of accepted communication, actions and

recovery steps during PMDD mode Use a CBT-based model to help couples/families with

developing a way to survive the PMDD mode Visit www.napmdd.org for a downloadable copy


PMDD Plan of Action Example


Take Away’s

TRACK YOUR CYCLE, TRACK YOUR CYCLE, TRACK YOUR CYCLE!!!

Tell your partner, family, employer, coworkers, friends that you’re starting your PMDD mode.

Remember- they won’t know if you don’t tell them!


Creating a list of triggers

My List of Triggers

What it is How I feel What I think What I do

Loud Noise Tense, irritated I’m annoyed Yell, lose my temper

Large Crowds Self-conscious, agitated, tense

I hate these people, I wan to be alone

Road rage, give obscene gestures, yell, go out of my way to avoid people I know

Sad Music Depressed, suicidal, lonely

I hate my life, I want to die, I suck

Stay home, isolate, cut, cry, scream


Communicate

To friends- if they aren’t willing to support you, maybe they need some distance during that “mode” or the friendship may need to be re-evaluated

To Family- if you don’t tell them, they won’t know! Calendar dates and visual reminders are helpful to combine with verbal reminders

To your employer or co-workers- If you aren’t sure about how or what to say, contact the Job Action Network: https://askjan.org/ ● 800-526-7234 Voice ● 877-781-9403 TTY


PMDD Plan of Action

Create this before PMDD mode

Make a verbal and written contract to yourself and your partner/family to use it

Download a copy at www.napmdd.org

http://www.napmdd.org/

pmdd & relationships by elizabeth santiago ma lmft

Health & Medicine