peace education workbook
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Peace Education Workbook. A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING. Peace Learning CenterTRANSCRIPT
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
PEACE EDUCATION WORKBOOK
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Welcome! Being peaceful is very important to our community and our own well-being. Being peaceful is much more than just solving problems with other people. Although, that’s an important part.
The purpose of this workbook is to help you learn how and why to be a peacemaker. In order to make peace we must have two things: knowledge and willingness. This workbook shares the knowledge you need to be a peacemaker. Now all you need is the willingness to make peace.
Each page introduces a skill or concept that can be used to cre-ate more peace within a community. Workbook lessons are self-directed and reflect many of the skills and concepts taught in the Peace Education program for fourth and fifth graders.
Peace Learning Center was founded in 1997, and since then has impacted more than 100,000youth, teachers and parents.PEACEFULLY YOURS,Your Friends at Peace Learning Center
www.peacelearningcenter.org
Peace Learning CenterEagle Creek Park6040 DeLong RoadIndianapolis, Indiana 46254-9797 USA(317) 327-7144
Peace Learning Center8725 E. Fall Creek RoadLawrence, IN 46256-2159(317) 596-9730
Dear Friends,
PEACE EDUCATION WORKBOOK
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PREPARING TO BE A PEACEMAKERWHAT DOES PEACE MEAN TO YOU?PEACEFUL BEHAVIORSSIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSM CORE VALUESWHEN HAVE YOU USED THESE CORE VALUES?PEACE MENTORSPEACEMAKER CROSSWORDLEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKERFOULSPEACE BREATHHOW I STAY COOLCONFLICT EQUATIONFOUL BUSTERREPHRASEFOUL BUSTER PRACTICEKANJI LISTENINGEMOTIONAL PROFILEBODY LANGUAGEMY BODY LANGUAGEPOINT-OF-VIEWPOINT-OF-VIEW IN THE NEW CDWHAT HAPPENED?HOW DO YOU FEEL?WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?ALL THREE POINT-OF-VIEW QUESTIONSI-MESSAGEFACTS AND OPINIONSASKING QUESTIONSOPEN VS. CLOSED QUESTIONSSTEPPEACE APOLOGYPEACE REQUESTTHINKING ABOUT CONSEQUENCESBEING A PEACEMAKERCORE VALUES AND PEACE SKILLSTHINGS IN COMMONHOW TO COOPERATEENVIRONMENTAL PEACEDIFFERENT TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTSFOUL CATCHER INSTRUCTIONSFOUL CATCHERPEACE TESTFOULS POSTERVALUES POSTER
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PAGE 13PAGE 14PAGE 15PAGE 16PAGE 17PAGE 18PAGE 19PAGE 20PAGE 21PAGE 22PAGE 23PAGE 24PAGE 25PAGE 26PAGE 27PAGE 28PAGE 29PAGE 30PAGE 31PAGE 32PAGE 33PAGE 34-36PAGE 37PAGE 38PAGE 39
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A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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WHAT DOES PEACE MEAN TO YOU?
MY NAME IS
MY NAME IS
I THINK PEACE IS...
In order to make peace we must have knowledge and willingness. With this workbook and the knowledge you already have you will soon know how to make peace. Then all you need is the willingness! Before you start the activities in this workbook think about what peace means to you and fill out this page.
Draw a picture or write about what peace means to you!
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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] PEACEFUL BEHAVIORSUse your brain to pick out and circle all the peaceful behaviors. Draw an X on each word that is not a peaceful behavior and replace it with something else that might bring more peace to your community.
Creativity
CrueltyGentlenessAcceptance
Forgiveness
A Positive Attitude
CompassionHonesty
DignitySensitivity
LyingUnderstanding
Cooperation SelfishnessDistrust
Patience
Hatred
Teasing
RespectHostilityCaring
Negativity
AggressivenessOpenness
CourageJealousy
Blaming Listening
Judging
Violence
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Trustworthiness
Respect
Responsibility
Fairness
Caring
Citizenship
12
3
456
Be Honest * Don’t deceive, cheat or steal * Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do * Have the courage to do the right thing * Build a good reputation * Be loyal - stand by your family, friendsand country
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule * Be tolerant of differ-ences * Use good manners, not bad language * Be considerate of the feel-ings of others * Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone * Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements
Do what you are supposed to do * Persevere: keep on trying! * Always do your best * Use self-control * Be self-disciplined * Think before you act — consider the consequences * Be accountable for your choices
Play by the rules * Take turns and share * Be open-minded; listen to oth-ers * Don’t take advantage of others * Don’t blame others carelessly
Be kind * Be compassionate and show you care * Express gratitude * Forgive others * Help people in need
Do your share to make your school and community better * Cooperate * Get involved in community affairs * Stay informed; vote * Be a good neigh-bor * Obey laws and rules * Respect authority * Protect the environment
Six Pillars of CharacterSM is a service mark of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics.www.charactersounts.org.
THE SIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSMfrom CHARACTER COUNTS! SM
CORE VALUES
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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When have you shown respect to a family member?
What are some ways that you have tried to treat others fairly?
How have you cared for others?
What have you done to improve your community through citizenship?
Describe a time you had to be responsible.
Describe a time that you showed a friend you were trustworthy.1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Six Pillars of CharacterSM is a service mark of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics.www.charactersounts.org.
THE SIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSMTHE SIX PILLARS OF CHARACTERSMfrom CHARACTER COUNTS! SM
WHEN HAVE YOU USED THESE CORE VALUES?CORE VALUES
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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PEACE ROLE MODELS
DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
QUOTE: “LET NO MAN PULL YOU SO LOW AS TO HATE HIM.”
QUOTE: “PEACE BEGINS QUOTE: WITH A SMILE.”
MOTHER TERESA
Role models are individuals that we can look up to and learn from. We can learn what values are important and what methods work. These four role models made peaceful changes in their own communities and throughout the world. Think about what core values each role model used.
Dr. King (1929-1968) spent his life working for equal rights for everyone no matter what their race, religion or financial status. He believed people should be judged by who they were on the inside and not by the color of their skin. He wanted all people to live together in peace. He used non-violent action like boycotts*, strikes* and marches*.
Mother Teresa (1910-1997) spent her life helping people. She provided food to the hungry and medi-cal help to the sick and dying. She brought hope and love to those in need. Even though she was born into a rich family, she gave it all up in order to help others.
* Boycott: to refuse to buy or use something until a change happens* Strike: to refuse to work or to participate until a change happens* March: to join with others and walk in a place that attracts attention
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MAHATMA GANDHI
QUOTE: “WE MUST BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.”
QUOTE: “IT IS NOT FAIR TO ASK OF OTHERS WHAT YOU ARE NOTWILLING TO DO YOURSELF..”
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
HOW CAN YOU BE A ROLE MODEL?
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) was committed to social justice. He organized the people of India so that they could take control of their country and government without violence. He did this by using boycotts*, strikes* and marches.* Gan-dhi believed all people should be treated with dignity and respect. The word Mahatma means: Great Soul .
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 –1962 ) was known as the First Lady of the World because of her travels to promote human rights. As the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt she was First Lady of the U.S. from 1933 to 1945. On December 10, 1948, the Human Rights Declaration, written by Elea-nor, was passed by the United Nations in order to guarantee rights to all citizens of the world.
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FETHULLAH GULEN
QUOTE: “LET THERE BE NO TROUBLED SOULS TO WHOM YOU DO NOT OFFER A HAND AND ABOUT WHOM YOU REMAIN UNCONCERNED.”
QUOTE: “IT STARTS WITH YOUR HEART QUOTE: AND RADIATES OUT.”
CESAR CHAVEZ
WHAT CORE VALUES DID THESE ROLE MODELS USE?
Fethullah Gulen (1941–present) was born in Er-zurum, Turkey. Gulen is a Muslim peacemaker and dialogue leader who teaches respect of all religions and faiths. Committed to helping youth learn ways to get along and succeed, his move-ment started over 500 schools worldwide.
Cesar Chavez (1927-1993) was a Hispanic American and migrant farm worker. Migrant farm workers move from farm to farm picking whatever crop is ready. The migrant farm workers were treated un-fairly so Chavez formed the United Farm Workers union. Through nonviolent methods Chavez showed that peaceful change can come through organizing people against injustice.
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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ROSA PARKS
“EACH PERSON MUST LIVE THEIR LIFE AS A MODEL FOR OTHERS.”
NOW ADD YOUR OWN PEACE ROLE MODEL. DRAW APICTURE AND DESCRIBE A PERSON IN YOUR LIFE WHO
SHOWS OTHERS HOW TO BE PEACEFUL.
NAME:
QUOTE:
Rosa Parks (1913-2005) was a seamstress and civil rights activist who is now known as the mother of the civil rights movement. In 1955, she refused to give up her seat on a city bus to a white passenger. This act started the Montgom-ery Bus Boycott, which has been one of the most successful movements against racial segregation in history.
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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1. Treat others as you wish to be treated2. People cooperating together; living in peace3. Fair and equal treatment for your actions4. Surroundings; nature; community5. Problem solving; getting along6. Protecting yourself from harm7. Beliefs to help decide right from wrong8. Trust; acceptance; forgiveness9. Having fair opportunities; all the same
PEACEMAKER CROSSWORD
What do these words mean to you?
1. Working together to problem solve2. Truly accepting an apology and moving on3. Working against an opponent; sports4. Harmful thoughts, words or actions5. Fixing a problem competitively6. The right to make your own decisions
PeaceConflictViolenceEqualityEnvironment
RespectCooperationLoveValuesHarmony
Self DefenseJusticeForgivenessCompetitionFreedom
PEACEMAKER CROSSWORD
Activity Directions
ACROSS
DOWN
Read the clues given below and fill in the crossword puzzle with thecorrect word from the list above.
12
3 4
5 6
78
912
13
1011
14
A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PEACEMAKING
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Fouls are the opposite of peaceful behaviors and core values, and just like a foul in basketball they have
consequences. Fouls can hurt us and our community and they can lead to conflict. Read the list of fouls below.
1. I never should have trusted you with my CD, Rob. You scratched it and now you won’t replace it. You’re such a jerk!
2. I’ve been playing basketball all af-ternoon and I didn’t start missing my shots until you showed up.
3. Get out of my chair right now!
4. My best friend Callie told me that you’ve been telling everybody that my dad went to jail. If you don’t shut your mouth I’m going to shut it for you.
5. It wasn’t my fault!
6. You made fun of me first, so now I’m going to tell everyone you’re a crybaby.
7. Man, you can’t
BLAMING
TEASING
LYING
BOSSING
HITTING
GRABBING
PUT DOWNS
THREATENING
GETTING EVEN
MAKING EXCUSES
NAME CALLING
NOT LISTENING
INTERRUPTING
FOULS
FOULS
Activity DirectionsRead each problem below and identify any fouls. Draw a line from the
problem on the left to the correct foul on the right.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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PEACE BREATH
GREAT! NEXT TIME YOU START TaO FEEL ANGRY OR UPSET TRYA PEACE BREATH AND SEE IF IT HELPS CALM YOU DOWN.
STEP 1:
STEP 2:
Fouls can make us feel angry or hurt. If we want to make peace after someone fouls us the first thing we need to do is know how to stay cool. A Peace Breath is a skill you can use to calm down and help you think. It is a great way to stay cool and show the core value responsibility!
Now try it again, but this time place your hands on your stomach.As you breathe in can you feel your hands being pushed out?
That means you are doing a great Peace Breath.
Slowly breathe in to a count of 71-2-3-4-5-6-7
Now slowly breathe out as youcount down from 7
7-6-5-4-3-2-1
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When we feel upset or angry we can be try to be peaceful by taking a Peace Breath, but there are many other ways to stay cool as you will see below.
Listen to music
Take a bike ride
Play a sport
Write a letter
Draw a picture
Play a game
Do homework
Call a friend
Take a walk
Go to the movies
Play music
Count to 10
Take a deep breath
Talk to a parent
HOW I STAY COOL
WAYS TO STAY COOLActivity Directions
Now slowly breathe out as youcount down from 7
7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Circle the ways you like to stay cool then draw a picture or write a story about a time you had to calm down or stay cool. Add to the list if you can think of other ways to stay cool.
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CONFLICT EQUATION
Activity Directions
A conflict is a disagreement, argument, or fight. We all experience conflict, but how do we get into conflicts? The conflict equation is an easy way to remember how conflicts happen. It can also help us remember how to prevent conflicts!
Now that we know the Conflict Equation, it is timeto find out what else we can do instead of foul inorder to prevent the conflict.Answer: FOUL + FOUL = CONFLICT
Use the words and symbols below to build the ConflictEquation. Remember, both people must foul in order tomake a conflict. The answer can be found at the bot-tom of the page.
+ CONFLICTFOUL = FOUL
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When someone fouls us we have a choice. We can foul back and create a conflict, like in the Conflict Equation, or we can make a good decision and try to prevent a conflict. One of those good choices that uses the core value respect is called a Foul Buster.
At the end of the school day you are putting your papers in yourbackpack when another student walks up and calls you a punk.
He tells you he heard you were talking about his little sister. Hewants you to stop spreading rumors.
What’s the problem?Why would you say that?What happened?How do you feel?
Are you saying you’re mad at mebecause I said something mean aboutyour sister and you want me to stop?
If he answers “Yes” then you have successfully bust-ed the foul. Now it’s time to problem solve. Ask him if you can go somewhere else and talk about it.
If he answers “No” then you might need to ask another question and re-phrase his answer again.
FOUL BUSTER
SO LET’S BUST A FOUL!
ASK A QUESTION
REPHRASE
TURN THE PAGE TO LEARN HOW TO DO A GREAT REPHRASE!
STEP 1:
STEP 2:
((
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REPHRASEWhen you rephrase what someone just told you it lets them know that you have heard and understood them. Every rephrase begins with the words “Are you saying…?” or “Do you mean…?” You must fill in the blank by saying what the person just told you but in your own words. Rephras-ing is not repeating! You can use the core value fairness in order to give a great rephrase.
If you are having trouble thinking of a rephrase think about what that personmight want you to do. For example: “Are you saying you want me to get you a new CD?” Now if they say yes then it’s time to talk about it and try to problem solve. If they say no then you might need to ask more questions and rephrase again.
REPHRASE
REPHRASE
REPHRASE
Activity DirectionsRead each message and rephrase it starting with the words
“Are you saying…?”
YOU’RE NOT PAYINGATTENTION.
YOU HAVE TO BUY ME
ANOTHER CD!
YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND.
ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE TO REPLACE
THE CD?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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FOUL BUSTER PRACTICENow that we know the two steps of the Foul Buster it is time to practice. Remember the first thing you do when someone fouls you is Ask a Ques-
tion. Then after they answer your question it is time to Rephrase.
HEY JERKFACE WATCHWHERE YOU’RE GOING.
YOU STEPPED ON MYFOOT AND DIDN’T SAY
SORRY.
FOUL
FOUL BUSTERSTEP 1: ASK A QUESTION
STEP 1: REPHRASE
Get more practice with the Foul Buster by going to page 47 and cutting out the Foul Catcher.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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KANJI LISTENINGIn order to do a great rephrase we must also listen carefully! Kanji is a form of Chinese writing and the symbol below means listening. It is made up of five different characters that each stand for a different tool we can use to listen.
We use our ears to hear thesound of the speaker’s voice.
Ears
Mind
Eyes
Attention
Heart
We use our eyes to watch the speaker’s body language and make eye contact.
We use our mind to think about what the speaker is saying.
We use our attention tofocus on the speaker.
We use our heart to care about what the speaker is saying. This is a gr eat exam-ple of the core value caring
Activity DirectionsTrace the Kanji Listening symbol
below and label each part.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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1. Your friend finds a ten dollar bill outside the teacher’s lounge and offers to split it with you.
2. There is only one piece of chocolate left. Both you and your friend want it. As you are arguing over who should get it, it falls on the ground and gets dirty.
3. Think of something that has happened at home or at school that was a problem then fill out your emotional profile.
EMOTIONAL PROFILE
EMOTION 0 25 50 75 100
SAD
ANGRY
HAPPY
SURPRISED
AFRAID
GUILTY
EMBARASSED
RELIEVED
We can feel different emotions at the same time. When we recognize what we are feeling it is easier to express our feelings to others. Read each
story and rate the amount of each emotion that you would feel. Use a dif-ferent color for each story on your emotional profile.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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BODY LANGUAGEBody language is the way our face, body, posture, and movement express how we might be feeling. Using body language we can tell others how we feel without saying a word. We can also learn how others might feel by reading their body language. Look at the body language in the pictures below and label each one with an emotion.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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MY BODY LANGUAGEWe express our emotions using body language, whether we know it or not.Draw a picture of your own body language for each emotion below.
HOW WOULD YOUR FACELOOK IF YOU FELT
EXCITED?
WHAT DOES YOUR BODYLOOK LIKE WHEN YOU FEEL
SAD?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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You and Sean are neighborhood friends and have gone to the same school for years. Your parents have good jobs and give you a big allowance for doing chores, like washing the dishes, set-ting the table and mowing the yard. Two weeks ago, on your allowance day, you walked to the store to buy a CD by your favorite group. On the way back home, you saw Sean and showed him your CD. Sean immediately said he wanted to borrow it that night. Al-though you had just gotten it, you de-cided that since Sean was a friend, he could take it for the night. Sean was really happy.
Unfortunately, on his way home, Sean was reading the label and accidentally dropped the CD. It was badly scratched. The next day when he returned it, he
told you about the accident and apolo-gized. You were really mad and sorry that you had trusted him with it. With-out thinking, you called him a clumsy jerk and demanded that he buy you a new one.
Sean was surprised by your reaction. Unlike you, he had no money and got no allowance. He told you that both of his parents lost their jobs and that they have no spare money to replace the CD. Still mad, you said that you didn’t want to hear it and walked away. Sean was a little embarrassed and hoped the whole thing would just blow over.
After a week, you’re still mad. You de-cide that Sean can’t be trusted and you feel he still owes you. Sean does not know what to think but is begin-ning to get angry.
POINT-OF-VIEW
Activity Directions
THE NEW CD
Our point-of-view is the way we see things or the way we think about things. Conflict often comes from a disagreement about different points-of-view. In or-der to understand someone’s point-of-view in a conflict, think of three questions:
Read the following story and think about both points-of-view. How would you answer the three point-of-view questions for both people involved?
WHAT HAPPENED? HOW DO YOU FEEL? WHY DO YOU FEELTHAT WAY?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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POINT-OF-VIEW IN THE NEW CD
Activity Directions
ME SEAN
It is easier to stay cool in conflict when we know what to do to be peaceful and why it is important. Peacemaking starts by knowing that there are at least two sides or points-of-view to every story.
Both points-of-view need to be heard and understood so that both people in the conflict will be ready to problem solve. In order to do this you must use both respect and fairness.
Answer the point-of-view questions for both sides of the story. Think carefully about how Sean’s point-of-view compared to yours.
1. What happened? 1. What happened?
2. How do you feel? 2. How do you feel?
3. Why do you feel that way (about what happened)?
3. Why do you feel that way (about what happened)?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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We cannot resolve a conflict and makepeace if we foul the other person.
Instead we must focus on the problem and not theperson. Re-write the messages below by explaining
what happened without using fouls.
Then Miss Big Footstomped on my toes.
foul = name calling
Then Miss Big Footstomped on my toes.
foul = name calling
Then Miss Big Footstomped on my toes.
foul = name calling
Then Miss Big Footstomped on my toes.
foul = name calling
WHY DO YOU FEELTHAT WAY?
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When in a conflict it is important to recognizehow you and the other person might feel.
You might feel emotions like angry, sad, or upset, but there are many different emotions, as you can see in the list to the left. Think about each situa-
tion below and write a feeling that you might have. Remember, you can have more than one feeling at
the same time.
1. When someone smiles at me, I feel
2. When I make a mistake, I feel
3. When someone threatens me, I feel
4. When I don’t know what to do, I feel
5. When someone helps me, I feel
6. When I say the wrong thing, I feel
7. When I have the correct answer, I feel
7. When I don’t get what I want, I feel
SadCuriousScaredAngry
FrustratedGenerousConfused
DisappointedSorryScared
ConcernedExcitedJoyfulAfraid
DepressedMad
SurprisedShockedJealous
RespectedWorriedHelplessInsultedNervousValued
Suspicious
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
EMOTIONS
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Telling someone why you feel the way you do gives them your complete point-of view and helps them understand why it matters to you.
Read what happened below and think about why it might bother you. Write your answer in the blank
provided.
I pushed him out of myway because I was there
first, then he startedyelling at me.
I feel that way because weare supposed to wait ourturn in line and not cut.mad
She grabbed it out of myhands, threw it on the
ground, and then everyonestarted laughing.
My friend told me that hewas spreading rumors
about me. Now the wholeschool thinks that I cheated
on my test.
I told her a secret. Shetold everyone else andthen laughed about it.
WHATHAPPENED?
HOW DO YOUFEEL?
WHY DO YOU FEELTHAT WAY?
WHY DO YOU FEELTHAT WAY?
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _A D L Q P M C C G F S M U E C L M Q B S V Q F
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _V B D M E B S M L Q O E M B L L R C Z O
I was walking down thehall at school when Jimmy tripped
me. His friends started laughing.
A = WB = FC = MD = HE = SF = TG = YH = BI = UJ = QK = GL = EM = I
N = VO = DP = JQ = NR = LS = RT = XU = PV = OW = ZX = KY = CZ = A
In my opinion he wastrying to start a fight and was
showing off to his friends.
I felt embarrassed at thetime but now I’m just mad!
WHAT HAPPENED?THE CODE
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
WHY DO YOU FEELTHAT WAY?
+
CONGRATULATIONS!You have successfully learned all three questions you need to ask when you want someone else’s point-of-view. Now let’s put them all together. Read the answers to the three point-of-view questions below then use the code to the right to discover the entire point-of-view.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ‘ _ _ _ _ _H L Y Z I E L M F D M Q X D L ’ E P I E F_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.F S G M Q K F V E F Z S F Z B M K D F.
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Name... (their name)I feel... (how do ypu feel)When... (what happened?)Because... (why do you feel that way?)
There are four parts ofan I-Message.
Here’s an example:
I-MESSAGE
I-MESSAGE I-MESSAGE
NOW TRY YOUR OWN I-MESSAGE BASED ON THE STORIES BELOW.
I-MESSAGE
An I-Message is an easy way to tell someone your point-of-view in a re-spectful way. You can use an I-Message to express your point-of-view no matter what emotion you are feeling.
1. Allen said it was your fault he got a bad grade on the math quiz.
Name
I feel
when
because
Name
I feel
when
because
2. Gina scratched your brand-new CDand didn’t say sorry.
Claire I feel frustrated when I get blamed for taking your seat because I didn’t know you were sitting here.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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I-MESSAGE
OPINION STATEMENT
The “because” section of an I-Message answers the question Why do youfeel that way? When we explain why we feel that way sometimes we express our opinion or what we think should happen. There is a difference between giving the facts in an I-Message and sharing your opinion. See if you can tell the difference in the following situations. Circle either Fact or Opinion for each statement.
A GOOD WAY TO SHARE YOUR OPINION IS TO USE THE PHRASE “IN MY OPIN-ION…” OR “I THINK…”THIS WAY YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE WHAT YOU THINK IN A RESPECTFUL WAY.
I feel upset when I am blamed for taking your seat because I did not know it was yours.
I feel angry when I get pushed in line because people shouldnot do that.
I feel mad when my drink gets spilled because I was verythirsty.
I feel angry when I get pushed in line because it is hurtfulto me and I do not like it.
I feel sad when people are talking behind my back becausethat’s wrong.
I feel mad when my drink gets spilled because you shouldhave been watching where you were going.
I feel sad when people are talking behind my back because Idon’t know why they don’t like me.
Fact Opinion
Fact Opinion
Fact Opinion
Fact Opinion
Fact Opinion
Fact Opinion
Fact Opinion
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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ASKING QUESTIONSThere are many ways to ask the same question. Below are the three ques-tions that make up a point-of-view. Asking questions can also show that you care. Match up the numbered questions with the correct point-of-view questions by writing the number in the right box.
1. What were you feeling?2. What’s the problem?3. So what?4. Why did it bother you?5. What did that feel like?
6. What started this?7. What emotions came up?8. Why did it matter?9. What did you want?10. Why was it important?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY DO YOU FEELTHAT WAY?
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
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OPEN VS. CLOSED QUESTIONS
ASKING AN OPEN-ENDED QUESTION
Open-ended questions require an explanation, not just a yes or no answer.They take time and patience, but you can find out more about someone’s point-of-view if you ask open-ended questions. A closed question can beanswered with a yes or no, without any explanation. Read each question and circle if it is Open or Closed.
Open-ended questions usually begin with What, How, and Why. Read eachclosed question below and change it to an open-ended question.
Were you really mad at them?
What would you have done if you were him?
How did it affect everyone else?
Did you think that it was right?
How can I help make things better?
Do you expect meto buy another CD?
Will you apologize?
Did you do it?
Open Closed
Open Closed
Open Closed
Open Closed
Open ClosedHOW DO YOU FEEL?
What can I do tomake things better?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
34
STEP METHOD
STAY COOL
TELL ONE POINT-OF-VIEW(POV)
(POV)EXPLORE OTHER POINT-OF-VIEW
PROBLEM SOLVE
STES
You will now learn how to resolve a conflict when two friends are fighting. You can be the peacemaker using the STEP method at a Peace Table! In STEP each letter stands for what to do and when to do it. Each letter has questions that you must ask both participants in order to resolve the conflict in the end.
Remember: As the peacemaker you must
not take sides with either person in the
conflict. They must be treated fairly and
agree on their own way to resolve the con-
flict. The best peacemaker is seen as trust-
worthy by both people.
stands for...
stands for...
stands for...
stands for...
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35
STAY COOL
Yes No
TELL ONE POV
EXPLORE OTHER POV
Are you ready and willingto solve this problem
peacefully?
What happened?How do you feel?Why do you feel that way about what happened?
If the answer to this first question is “No, I am not ready andwilling” then try asking: “What do you need to be ready and willing?”
What happened?How do you feel?Why do you feel that way about what happened?
Both people must be readyand willing to try peacefulproblem solving or it will not
work. It means using nofouls.
After asking one person allthree questions rephrase theiranswers. Are you saying youfeel _____ when _____
because ________ ?
Again rephrase their answers.Are you saying you
feel _____ when _____because ________ ?
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
36
PROBLEM SOLVE
ACT ASK TELL
What do you want now to solvethis problem peacefully?
What are you willing to do now tosolve this problem peacefully?
It is important to know that you can use the STEP method yourself when you are in a conflict with another per-son, even if there is not a peacemaker helping you. If you know the way STEP works and practice the questions, you can remember these when you are try-ing to peacefully settle a conflict with someone.When you find yourself in conflict, you would first remember to Stay Cool and you would ask the other person if they would be able to Stay Cool to talk with
you. If they are able to do that, then you can each take a turn telling your Point of View. Since you are the one who knows the STEP method, you might let the other person go first in telling their Point of View. The other person may not rephrase if they don’t know the STEP method, and that is okay.When you understand each other’s Point of View, try to Problem Solve, using the questions that find out what both peo-ple need and what you are both willing to do.
Ask both people to do what they said they were willing to do.
Ask both people ifthe problem hasbeen solved fairly?
Tell both people totell their friendsto prevent rumors.
Ask each person whatthey want then ask eachperson what they are
willing to do.
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37
TELL
PEACE APOLOGY
Activity Directions Example:
During the STEP method a person might ask for an apology. We often use thewords “I am sorry” in conversation so much that it loses its meaning. Here’s oneway to say “I’m sorry” that shows a person that you are sincere.
(THEIR NAME)I’M SORRY THAT I… (what happened)NEXT TIME I’LL... (what you will do differently next time)
MARY, I’M SORRY THAT I YELLED AT YOU AND BLAMED YOU FOR RUINING MY BOOK NEXT TIME I’LL ASK YOU WHAT HAPPENED FIRST.
Read each of the following situa-tions below. Write an apology for each in the spaces provided.
1. You accidentally knocked Ben’s books onto the floor and then started laughing.
2. You called Whitney a ‘jerk’ because she was being rude to you and your friends.
3. You turned and pushed William who had accidentally pushed you from behind.
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38
PEACE REQUEST
STORY
STORY
PEACE REQUEST
I-MESSAGE & PEACE REQUEST
If someone does something you don’t like another respectful way toaddress the problem is a Peace Request. You simply make a request beginningwith the words “Would you please…?” For example “Would you please let mesit there?” A Peace Request can be used at the end of an I-Message or InMy Opinion statement, or it can be used on its own. Read the stories belowthen practice making Peace Requests by filling in the blanks.
I feel
when
because
Would you please
You go to get a piece of blue paperin art class when someone takes thelast two pieces.
It’s your turn to pass out paperswhen someone else gets up andstarts to do your job.
You and your friend joke abouteverything. Sometimes you teaseeach other but only to make the otherperson laugh. One day your friendmakes a joke about your new clothesand this time it really hurts your feelings.
Would you please
?
Would you please
?
?
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39
THINKING ABOUT CONSEQUENCES
CONFLICT
I-MESSAGE & PEACE REQUEST
In order to be responsible we must consider the consequences of ouractions. Fighting with someone has different consequences than trying tosolve a problem using the skills in this workbook. Make up a conflict anddescribe the possible consequences for both decisions.
For each possible consequence, ask yourself:• Is the problem really solved?• How will I feel toward the other person?• How will the other person feel about me?• What will our relationship be like in the future?
Consequences for fighting
Consequences for usingpeace skills
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40
CORE VALUES AND PEACE METHODS
CORE VALUES:TRUSTWORTHINESS
RESPECTRESPONSIBILITY
FAIRNESSCARING
CITIZENSHIP
The core values mentioned at the beginning of the workbook can be seen inthe different peace methods we have practiced. Answer the following ques-tions by connecting the peace methods with the core values they represent.
1. What core values are you modeling when you use an I-Message?
2. What core values are you modeling when you use a Foul Buster?
3. What core values are you modeling when you give a Peace Apology?
4. What core values are you modeling when you make a Peace Request?
5. What core values are you modeling when you use STEP?
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41
CORE VALUES AND PEACE SKILLS
Story #1CORE VALUES:
PEACE SKILLS:
Story #2
Story #3
Story #3
Story #5
You are trying to solve a conflict withanother student but you keep endingup arguing about who started it ratherthan how to solve it.
TRUSTWORTHINESSRESPECT
RESPONSIBILITYFAIRNESSCARING
CITIZENSHIP
PEACE BREATHFOUL BUSTERPEACE MOVESI-MESSAGE
BODY LANGUAGEKANJI LISTENING
REPHRASEPEACE APOLOGYSTEP METHOD
You were goofing around at lunch andaccidentally spilled your milk on yourneighbor’s lap.
A classmate came up to you, red in theface, and called you a name.
You were standing in line and accidentallybumped into someone else.They immediately turned around andlooked like they wanted to hit you.
You came back from recess to findyour coat on the floor and another kidstanding on it. They didn’t look likethey cared at all.
Match the correct peace method and core value with each story. More thanone peace method and core value can be used in each situation.
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42
THINGS IN COMMONInterview a classmate you don’t know very well and name ten things you have in common that are not about appearance. For instance don’t use “We are both wearing jeans.” After you’re finished draw a portrait of you and your classmate.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
43
HOW TO COOPERATEIt is helpful to look at problem solving in a way that allows your natural peace-making abilities to come through. One way to do this is to treat the other person as a friend. Everything you say, think and do will be from the point-of-view of a friend rather than an opponent. People will often respond as they are treated. Read the following conflict story and answer the questions by thinking of how each person could act like a friend.
Tracy just moved into the neighborhood two days ago. On her first day at school, one of her classmates told her that she was sitting in Sherice’s lunch seat and that was prob-ably going to mean trouble when Sherice got there. Since there were no other places to sit and there were only 10 minutes left in lunch, Tracy decided to stay where she was. Just then, Sherice showed up and stopped right next to Tracy and said “Excuse me, but you need to get up now!” and it did not sound very friendly. Sherice was having xa bad day already and only had a few minutes left to eat and visit with her friends before the bell rang.
What might Tracy do or say right now to Sherice to act like a potential friend and be peaceful?
What might Sherice do or say right now to Tracy to act like a potential friend and be peaceful?
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44
ENVIRONMENTAL PEACE
WHAT YOU CAN DO
REDUCE
REUSE
RECYCLE
Yes NoYes NoYes NoYes NoYes No
Being peaceful is much more than knowing how to resolve conflicts. It also means having a positive effect on everything around you, including the environ-ment. When you do your part to help the environment you are practicing citi-zenship. Below are some actions that affect the environment. Circle ‘Yes’ if you think that the action is helping the natural environment, and circle ‘No” if you think that it might be harmful.
To use less stuff
To use things over and over
Use old products to make new products
For example, you can share your things or bor-row someone else’s instead of buying your own, like a book or video game. You can use less paper towels or even use a cloth.
What can you do to help our planet? You can Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. These are three important things each of us can do to keep our planet healthy.
For example, you can bring the same lunchbox toschool everyday. You can use the backside of paper. You can give clothes that no longer fit to someone else.
For example, you can turn in old newspapers or soda cans so that they can be used to make new ones. Buying recycled products can really help make recycling work.
1. Recycling paper, plastic and cans2. Pouring motor oil down the drain3. Carving your name on a tree4. Using more than one paper cup on a picnic5. Turning the lights off when you leave a room
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45
DIFFERENT TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTS
DIFFERENT TYPES OF ENVIRONMENTS
DEVELOPED ENVIRONMENT
PERSONAL ENVIRONMENT
Your environment is made up from all the things around you. One way to better understand the environment is to divide it into three groups; Natural, Developed & Personal. Each of these groups is connected to you differently and each effects your life, your family and the health of your community.
The natural environment means the plan-et Earth, all the animals, all the plants, and all the things that nature contains, including humans. The natural environ-ment is the source of all the materials and resources that we use to live.
The natural environment means the planet Earth, all the animals, all the plants, and all the things that nature contains, includ-ing humans. The natural environment is the source of all the materials and resources that we use to live.
The personal environment includes your family and is also made from your choic-es, like who your friends are, how well you do in school, what you do with your spare time and how you solve your con-flicts. You have a great deal of control over this environment. It also has a big effect on you.
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FOUL CATCHER
STEP 1:
STEP 2:
STEP 3:
STEP 4:
STEP 5:
STEP 6:
A Foul Catcher is a great way to practice the Foul Buster. Follow the directions below to make your own! It’s just like a paper fortune teller.
Once you have built the foul catcher you can start practicing. Ask a friend to pick one of the four numbers. As you count to that number move the foul catcher in and out. Next they must pick a letter marking a foul. After you foul them they must bust the foul by asking a question and rephrasing. Switch with your partner so you both get practice busting fouls.
CUT OUT THE FOUL CATCHER ALONG THE DOTTED LINES
PLACE THE FOUL CATCHER FACE DOWN AND FOLD IT IN HALF. STILL FOLDED,FOLD IT IN HALF AGAIN SO YOU HAVE A SQUARE.
UNFOLD THE FOUL CATCHER AND PLACE IT FACE DOWN. FOLD EACH CORNER UPTO THE CENTER OF THE SQUARE SO YOU CAN SEE THE FOULS AND NUMBERS.
STILL FOLDED FLIP IT OVER AND FOLD EACH CORNER UP TO THE CENTER OFTHE SQUARE.
FOLD THE SQUARE IN HALF. STILL FOLDED, FOLD IT IN HALF AGAIN, THENUNFOLD IT ONCE AND STICK ONE FINGER IN EACH FOLD.
POP OUT EACH CORNER TO FINISH THE FOUL CATCHER. YOU CAN USE YOURCHIN TO HELP SHAPE THE FOUL CATCHER.
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47
FOUL CATCHER
“I’m ne
ver w
orking
with y
ou aga
in, dor
k.”
“I’m do
ing al
l the
work.”
“Get u
p, jer
k!!”
“You’r
e in m
y seat
.”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
FINALB 6 A
“You m
ade m
e miss!
”
“I cou
ldn’t c
oncent
rate
becau
se you
were
yellin
g.”“Yo
ur sist
er is a
big fa
t cow
!”
“I hea
rd she
was
talkin
g abou
t me!” “Ye
s.”
“Yes.”
FINAL
H 3 G
“You’re stupid!”
“You misspelled two
words on our poster!”
“Get out of my
way or else!”
“You’re blocking
me!”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
FINAL
F
4
E
“Hey, Big Head!”“I can’t get around you.”
“You bumped me on
purpose!”“I spilled mydrink.”
Or“No, try again.”
Or“No
, try
again.”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
FINAL
D
5
c
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
48
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
49
PEACE TESTTime to test your knowledge.
Read each question and fill in the blanks.
1. Name 2 core values:
2. Name of the peace role model who helped migrant farm workers:
3. Name one way to ‘Stay Cool’ when you’re angry:
4. Name 2 fouls:
5. Write 1 POV question:
6. Name 2 emotions:
7. Rephrase: “You got dirt all over my shoes.”
8. Name 2 parts of Kanji listening:
9. What number do you count to in a ‘Peace Breath’?
10. Name the peace method used when someone fouls you:
11. Name the first thing to say in an apology:
12. Name 2 parts of an I-message:
13. Name what ‘S’ stands for in STEP:
14. What are the first 3 words of a rephrase:
LEARNING TO BE A PEACEMAKER
50
Making Excuses
Put Downs
Threatening
Getting Even
Interrupting
Name Calling
Not Listening
Blaming
Teasing
Lying
Bossing
Hitting
Grabbing
FOULS
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51
Trustworthiness
Put Downs
Threatening
Getting Even
Interrupting
Name Calling
Not Listening
Respect
Responsibility
Fairness
Caring
Citizenship
Safety
Trust
Sportsmanship
Acceptance
Forgiveness
Cooperation
VALUES
INTERNATIONAL WORDS OF
PEACE