paul mundy and bob huggan 1 writing so readers can understand you
TRANSCRIPT
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Good writing
Arouses the reader’s interest Stirs the reader’s imagination Makes the reader feel the text is aimed
directly at him/her Presents believable evidence Gives good reasons for action
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Easy-to-read writing
Use short, simple words Anglo-Saxon,
not French or Latin Use short, varied sentences
Average = 17 words Use short paragraphs
3-5 sentences each
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“The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out”
—Voltaire 1694–1778
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Easy-to-read writing
Be conversational Write like you talk Read it out loud
Use personal words I, you, we, our (not one, policy makers, scientists)
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Easy-to-read writing
Write in a logical order State the main point in 1 sentence Say why it is important Give the details
Check your grammar
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Short words are better than long words Numerous Many Individual Person, man or
woman Remainder Rest Initial First To implement To do Attempt Try Sufficient Enough Referred to as Called
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Use Anglo-Saxon, not Latin or French Facilitate Help Utilize Use Demonstrate Show Initiate, commence Begin In close proximity to Near Despite the fact that Although Endeavour Try
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Use Anglo-Saxon, not Latin or French Exerts a lethal effect Kills For the purpose of To In view of the fact that Because Is equipped with Has Magnitude Size Prior to Before Subsequent to After Until such time as Until Remunerate Pay Negatively affects Harms
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Use words the reader can understand The region has an annual surplus of water The region has more than enough water
Women are involved in the disposal of the output of rice production
Women sell the rice
Long aeroplane trips may lead to transmeridianal dyschronism
After a long plane trip you may have jet lag
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Cut out words
I’d like the steak with, near or adjacent to french fries, including but not limited to the mixed vegetables, accompanied, concurrent with, and at the same time as a beer.
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Cut out words The rural poor face multiple problems which are
interlocking in nature The rural poor face many interlocking problems
He initiated and facilitated the conduct of meetings and workshops...
He helped conduct meetings...
In the context of Rio de Janeiro… In Rio…
Lessons learned Lessons
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Use short sentences
This cooperative of vegetable growers in the rural village of Paliparan located in the municipality of Dasmariñas, Cavite province in the Philippines, was initiated as an interest group of 17 vegetable growers in 1982(31 words)
The cooperative is located in Paliparan village, about 40 km south of Manila, the Philippine capital. It began in 1982 when 17 vegetable growers formed an interest group(25 words, 2 sentences)
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Don’t make a sentence do too much work Its Community Resilience Campaign has refined a set of
strategies to facilitate grassroots women’s groups to take collective action and negotiate with local and national governments to build resilience of communities experiencing the adverse impacts of climate change and disasters. (40 words, 1 sentence)
Its Community Resilience Campaign helps communities affected by climate change and disasters. It has refined a set of strategies for grassroots women’s groups, including collective action and negotiating with local and national governments. (33 words, 2 sentences)
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Say what you mean
The actual process of rapid urban expansion takes place at the level of the informal community.
Cities grow quickly as people move into slums.
The long sentence game
Start with a short sentence The next person must repeat the sentence and add an
idea to it. The first person to cannot remember or who is unable to
add an item is out! Use as much jargon as possible!
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Reconstruction begins the day after a disaster
Reconstruction begins the day after a disaster, often with women leading the way.
Reconstruction begins the day after a disaster, often with women leading the way, using strategies developed through participatory approaches.
Reconstruction begins the day after a disaster, often with women leading the way, using strategies developed through participatory approaches to involve multiple stakeholders.
Reconstruction begins the day after a disaster, often with women leading the way, using strategies developed through participatory approaches to involve multiple stakeholders to build resilience.
Reconstruction begins the day after a disaster, often with women leading the way, using strategies developed through participatory approaches to involve multiple stakeholders to build resilience and mitigate further risk.
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Use active verbs, not passives The coop was initiated by the villagers… The villagers started the coop…
It was decided by the governor that the assistance to the project was to be suspended
The governor stopped supporting the project
Who does what?
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Milk extraction is done in presence of the calf attached to the foreleg of her mother
Before starting to milk, the herder ties the calf to its mother’s foreleg
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A member of the Zantiébougou cooperative making shea nut paste. She will cook the paste to make shea butter
Extracting the emulsion from the nuts by a member of the Zantiébougou Cooperative. It is this emulsion which, after cooking in a pot on the fire, gives shea butter
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Avoid weak verbs
She was a student of Indian history She studied Indian history
They conducted a study of the movement They studied the movement
They promoted the sale of medicinal plants They sold medicinal plants
IIRR implemented a strategy that resulted in the formation of 22 cooperatives
IIRR helped form 22 cooperatives
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Avoid weak starts
There is… There are… It is important to note that… Interestingly… It is self-evident that… It goes without saying that… I might add… It should be pointed out that…
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Turn abstract nouns into verbsAbstract nouns often end in -tion Acquisition Acquire, get Demonstration Demonstrate, show Guidance Guide
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Turn abstract nouns into verbs Clayey soil has maximum water retention ability
Find the noun that is built from a verb Turn it into a verb
Retention ► Retain Find the Anglo-Saxon equivalent
Retention ► Retain ► Hold
Clayey soil can hold the most water
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Turn abstract nouns into verbs The group plans the acquisition of a new vehicle The group wants to buy a jeep
The aim of the project was to... The project aimed to...
His conclusion was that the funds had been misappropriated by the cooperative leader
He concluded that the coop leader had stolen the money
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Avoid inflated prepositions and conjunctions With the possible exception of… Except For the reason that… Because In the context of… In He totally lacked the ability to… He couldn’t She was unable to give any
information beyond the fact that… She said
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Break up strings of nouns
The following innovative project implementation modes were effected
The project tested several new approaches
The vastness, remoteness and endemic drought have posed severe challenges to the pastoral production system
Pastoralists range over huge, remote, dry areas. That makes life for them difficult
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Break up strings of nouns
Generic human capacity development needs assessment methodology
A way to assess capacity-development needs that can be used elsewhere
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Get rid of prepositions
Especially of and by
The implementation of this project was undertaken by the project within the framework of the following objectives…
We aimed to do the following…
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Avoid unnecessary modifiers
Adjectives and adverbs often carry no meaningDelete them, or make them specific
He ran quickly to the shop He ran to the shop
The farmers successfully harvested 3 tons of maize The farmers harvested 3 tons of maize
She earned a good income She earned Rs 500
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Avoid repeated words
The components of the gender agenda aim to create a gender-responsive environment for gendering land tools, a review of gender-related land issues, gender and land analysis, land tools inventory from a gender perspective, piloting and scaling up of land tools that are particularly responsive to gender, evaluation of land tools from a gender perspective, and improving land governance with a gendered approach.
Network partners have to date focused the work in this area on evaluating land tools from a gender perspective (gender evaluation criteria), reviewing gender-related land issues (research), and improving land governance through gender equality and grassroots participation.
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Avoid repeated words
The components of the gender agenda aim to create a gender-responsive environment for gendering land tools, a review of gender-related land issues, gender and land analysis, land tools inventory from a gender perspective, piloting and scaling up of land tools that are particularly responsive to gender, evaluation of land tools from a gender perspective, and improving land governance with a gendered approach.
Network partners have to date focused the work in this area on evaluating land tools from a gender perspective (gender evaluation criteria), reviewing gender-related land issues (research), and improving land governance through gender equality and grassroots participation.
Gender x 14Land x 10Tool x 5
Evaluate x 3Perspective x 2Issue x 2
Review x 2Governance x 2Improving x 2
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Avoid repeated words
The network has evaluated land issues and tools from a gender perspective, developed capacity on gender-and-land issues, and studied the tenure rights of women and legal reforms that affect them. In the longer term, it also aims to ensure that gender is incorporated in all the land tools, and to pilot and scale up these tools.
Gender x 3Land x 3Tool x 3
Evaluate x 1Perspective x 1Issue x 2
Review x 0Governance x 0Improving x 0
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Be precise (1)
Words without much information: Fast, slow, good, bad, unusual, interesting…
Better to say how fast or slow, why something is good, bad, unusual or interesting
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Be precise (2)
Feed your baby frequently Breast-feed your baby every 2 or 3 hours, or
whenever he or she is hungry
Vegetable consumption rose slightly People in St Kitts ate 5% more vegetables last year
January rainfall is normally heavy The mean rainfall for January is 940 mm
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Avoid false precision
Too many significant digits The mean millet yield was 4.345 tons per
hectare …4.3 tons…
The average worker earns Rs 30.56 a day …Rs 30…
The population is 34,965,865 …35,000,000
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Add details if necessary…
…to make sure the reader understands clearly what you are saying
Use words that will build pictures in the reader’s mind
Construction of health infrastructure has the capacity to catalyse significant improvements in rural nutrition
New clinics can encourage rural people to eat better
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Provide enough information
The cooperative is located in the village of Paliparan in the municipality of Dasmariñas.
The cooperative is located in Paliparan village, about 40 km south of the Philippine capital of Manila
It borrows money from Pamana-ILCF and re-lends it to individual members of the coop at low interest rates
It borrows money from Pamana-ILCF, an IIRR-supported credit cooperative. It relends this money to members at 7.5% interest a year
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More information
Wikipedia: Weasel word http://tinyurl.com/5wrdw8
Ten quick tips to improve your writing http://tinyurl.com/2h5e4h
Improve your writing: Your role as a writer http://tinyurl.com/lty2rs