oops! i didn't mean it to come out that way
DESCRIPTION
A complete presentation on everything about communication from how attitude communicates to how to effectively communicate better to how handle problems when communication does not work correctly.TRANSCRIPT
“OOPS!”
“How to Make Sure What They Hear is What You Wanted Them to Hear”
Scott “Q” Marcuswww.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com • 707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt • @ThisTimeIMeanIt
Presented by:
I DIDN’T MEAN IT TO COME OUT THAT WAY.
MotivationEducation
Entertainment
IT’S ALL ABOUT “MEE!”
Buy what we want, not what we need.
Not what you say, it’s what they feel about what you say.
Perceptions is reality.
Catch ‘em doing something right.
Pass the credit, take the blame.
Under-promise, over-deliver.
GETTING EMOTIONAL
ATTITUDE!
Behavior
Result
THE CYCLE
Unbreakable Link
ATTITUDE
FeelingsBeliefs Feelings
Response
Feelings
Experience(Observations)
Biology
ATTITUDE
Response
10
THE BASICS
<<<<Change
Logical
Physical
Emo.onal
Spiritual
AT
TIT
UD
E (H
abit)
If you don’t see it - It might still be there.
If you don’t say itIt might still be heard.
If you don’t acknowledge itIt won’t be resolved.
Expectations
Noise
Resolution
Follow Up
CONFLICT CYCLE
CALM
NOISE!
Text
Group Memo
Letter
Group Meeting
Private Conversation
STRESS ZONE
STRESS ZONES
> >
> C
om
pete
nce >
> >
< < < Consciousness < < <
1. Unconscious Incompetence
2. Conscious Incompetence
3. Conscious Competence
4. Unconscious Competence
“Oblivious”“Aware”
“Learning” “Skilled”
CONFLICT REASONS
❖ Shoulds & Musts
❖ Disqualifying
❖ Inappropriate Rescue
❖ Perfectionism & Selective Viewing
❖ Boundary Violation
Persecutor (“It’s Always Your Fault!”)
Rescuer(“Let Me Fix It For You.”)
Vic?m (“It’s Not My Fault!”)
HappinessMental HealthContentment
Can I help?
Do I want to help?
Does she want my help?
DRAMA TRIANGLE
✦ Slow & Calm
✦ Small Chunks & Pause
✦ Notice Feelings
✦ Eye Contact
✦ Confirm
✦ Feedback
✦ Acknowledgement
POWER TACTICS
APPROPRIATE QUESTIONS
Open
Closed Confirmation
Inquiry✦ What do I want?
✦ What must happen?
✦ Can I do that?
✦ Will I?
❖ 3 Rs
❖ Feel - Felt - Found
❖ Open & close
❖ Think LAST
❖ Most Powerful Word
DEALING WITH
GADFLIES
KEEPING THE CALMPersonal Talk Time
10-20 Minutes
I want / I like
You want / You like
Agreement
Fair Fighting
❖ Start with “I”
❖ No Interruptions
❖ No Denials
❖ No Cross Complaints
confi
denc
e
Like Me
Trust Me
Buy Me
Know Me
PERSUASION
25
MAKING THE PITCH
Benefits
Attributes
Facts