ooops! i didn't mean it to come out that way
DESCRIPTION
A presentation by Scott "Q" Marcus on how to handle difficult people and how to stay free of conflict.TRANSCRIPT
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OOPS!I didn’t mean it to come out that way.
Scott “Q” MarcusTHINspirational Speaker & Recovering Perfectionist
707.442.6243 • [email protected]
Wisdom“If all pulled together, The world would keel over.”
-Old Yiddish Proverb2
‣ CALM
‣Expectations
‣Noise
‣Resolution
‣Follow Up
Conflict Cycle3
Noise!
4
Realism
Even the best relationships cause some pain…
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The Reasons
‣ Shoulds
‣ Disqualifying
‣ Inappropriate Rescue
‣ Perfectionism
‣ Boundary Violation
‣ Selective Viewing6
Choices
‣ firecracker‣ cold shoulder‣ backstabber
‣ memory lane‣ social zinger‣ last word
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8
Movement
Logical Emotional
Physical Spiritual
<<<<Change
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Persecutor (“It’s Always Your Fault!”)
Rescuer(“Let Me Fix It For You.”)
Victim (“It’s Not My Fault!”)
Drama!
Assertion
Competition
Avoidance
Compromise
Accommodation
Collaboration
Uniting
Cooperation10
Security
Not Real
Too Complex
Unimportant
Win-Win
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Five Years
Questions12
Open
Closed
Inquiry
Confirmation
Guidance
‣Recognize‣Reflect‣Redirect
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LA
ST14
Disarming
L isten
A pologize (Acknowledge)
S olve
T hank
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Getting Creative
WOW
Fair Fighting
‣ Begin with “I”‣ No Interruptions‣ No Denials‣ No Cross Complaints
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Talk Time
‣ 10-20 Minutes‣ I want / I like‣ You want / You like‣ Agreement