Negotiation Skills

Course designed by: JCI Senator Kalada Apiafi, ITF 099.

Wider Perspectives Limited, Port Harcourt, Nigeria. +234-803 310 1457

TRAINER’S GUIDE

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Credits: You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO MORE THAN ASK – Roger Dawson Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen .

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Course Outline Negotiation Skills SUMMARY There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. This is not so.

According to Roger Dawson, an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you want something from someone else and anytime someone wants something from you, you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you negotiate with customers, suppliers, colleagues, your wife and even your children. Negotiation is a game and like any game has its rules (principles) and tactics (gambits). Also, advance preparation is a must. Key factors that determine the outcome of every negotiation include – Power, Information, Time, Communication Skills (Verbal and Non Verbal) and Personality. Good negotiators strive for Win – Win outcomes.

OBJECTIVES To • Demonstrate The Concept Of Negotiation • Identify The Role And Importance Of Power, Time, Information,

Communication Skills And Personality In A Successful Negotiation • State The Principles And Techniques Of Successful Negotiation • Enable You Negotiate With Confidence

MAIN POINTS Module 1 Introduction Module 2 Principles Module 3 The Stages Of Negotiation Module 4 Power Module 5 Information Module 6 Time Module 7 Gambits Module 8 Communication Module 9 Negotiation Styles Module 10 How Both Sides Can Win

LENGTH Minimum time required: 3 Hours Maximum time needed: 8 Hours

PARTICIPANTS Minimum required: 10 – Maximum allowed: 100 EQUIPMENT 1. Laptop computer

2. LCD projector (if not available, transparencies can be printed and used with an overhead projector)

3. Flip chart and at least 20 sheets of paper 4. Markers (different colours) for the Trainer

MATERIALS 1. Participant’s Manual 2. PowerPoint Slides 3. Time Limit Quiz 4. Self Check Questionnaire 5. What Influences People Evaluation Sheet 6. Listening Skills Checklist 7. Listening Like a Negotiator Sheet 8. Negotiation Action Plan Checklist 9. Session Evaluation Form

REFERENCES 1. You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO MORE THAN ASK – Roger Dawson

2. Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow 3. You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen

ROOM LAYOUT Ideal room layout is semi - circle

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10 minutes 1. OPENING

Show slide 1 and leave it on till you finish the introductions and welcome.

Introductions

Introduce yourself and any other trainers present.

Ask each participant to introduce him/herself stating their names and what they do.

Welcome

Welcome all participants and give a short overview of the course indicating that:

There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. This is not so. According to Roger Dawson, an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you want something from someone else and anytime someone wants something from you, you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you negotiate with customers, suppliers, colleagues, your wife and even your children. Therefore, if you can negotiate well, you rank as one of your organization’s most valuable persons.

Explain that active participation is expected from all participants for effective learning and to achieve the seminar objectives and that the key take home of the Seminar is how to successfully use negotiation techniques and also recognize them in an opponent.

Objectives

Give a brief run down of the seminar objectives as shown in slide 2 Outline

Give a brief run down of the seminar outline as shown in slide 3

10 minutes. 2. INTRODUCTION

Time Limit Quiz

Ask participants to do the Time Limit Quiz (Handout 1). Many of them would start rushing through the quiz instead of complying with item 1- Read everything before doing anything. Use this to illustrate that people do likewise when negotiating, not realising that Negotiation is a process not an event and therefore needs advance planning and patience.

Self Check

Ask participants to complete Handout 2. Inform them that they have to be honest about the self check to get the maximum benefit from the Seminar.

Discussion

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Discuss slide 4

Key points to be made include:

a) People negotiate daily and negotiation does not always involve money.

Anytime You Want Something From Someone And Anytime Someone Wants Something From You, You Are Negotiating. Our spouses, children and friends negotiate with us regularly. For instance, when your friend wants to borrow a book from you, this is a negotiating situation, therefore, you have to get a commitment to (negotiate) a return date or else it may never be returned.

b) Revisit the Time Limit Quiz to emphasize that Negotiation is a process,

not an event. Let them know this would be explained in detail in Module 3 – The Stages of Negotiation.

c) In a successful negotiation all parties win. Therefore negotiation is not

necessarily adversarial. Let them know that this will become very clear by the time the session is over.

d) Power, Information and Time Pressure (real or contrived) are at play in

every negotiation. Power here, being the ability to influence people and events. The party with more information stands a better chance of negotiating a favourable outcome for itself. Time pressure is part of the web of tension in the definition of negotiation on the slide, the other being the extent of organisational support each party to the negotiation has. Modern day negotiation involves team work through the various stages, organisations, therefore, must be willing to make its staff available, rather than leaving it to one or two persons.

20 minutes. 3. PRINCIPLES

Introduction Emphasize that negotiation is a game and has rules, like any other game. The principles to be discussed are the rules for successful negotiation. Remind participants also that the seminar is participative. They should, therefore, feel free to ask questions and make contributions as the discussions proceed. Discussion Discuss slides 5 – 8. Key points to be highlighted are the need to:

a) Personalize transactions. Ways to achieve this include calling the

opponent(s) by name, complimenting them and, looking for things you have in common – attendance of the same school, similar interests, for instance, sports, voluntary work etc. State briefly, that is why information gathering is important.

b) Develop a good relationship with the other party before you negotiate.

This can be done by phone call(s) and having breakfast/ lunch/ dinner together. The essence here is to establish rapport.

c) Make the other party talk about itself, its underlying feelings, and its

organization. This is achieved by asking questions and allowing the other party to do more of the talking.

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d) Give information slowly and cautiously. This is because the side with more information stands a better chance of negotiating a favourable outcome for itself. Remind participants of the Time Limit Quiz and that they should never be in a hurry when negotiating.

e) Get something in return whenever you make a concession. This ensures

that you do not give away too much. Also it discourages the other party from asking for too many concessions since they know you are going to ask for one each time you concede.

f) Give the other party some concessions if it has done its share of making

concessions, so it can save face. g) Move towards objective(s) slowly, making concessions one at a time. The

other party is likely to ask for more concessions if they are given easily and vice versa.

h) Consult on concessions when necessary. Illustrate that skilled

negotiators do this always even in the face of time pressure or negotiating away from home. This is achieved by politely asking for permission to make a call, get back to them or leave the room.

i) Substitute negotiators when necessary, for instance, in the case of a

deadlock a new team member is likely to change the tempo of the negotiation and break the deadlock.

j) Take notes during the negotiation and write up the agreement. Taking

notes makes the other party feel that what they are saying is important. It also enables you brief the person drawing up the agreement in detail. Drawing up the agreement gives the advantage of making it suit you because it becomes a working document to be amended.

k) Draft the document as if it may ultimately be read in Court because the

parties might end up in court.

While questions would have arisen during the discussion you may (depending on how well you are doing with time) allow for a few more questions from the participants to ensure understanding of this module. You may also wish to ask one or two questions.

Conclusion Make it clear to participants that as much as possible, they must apply ALL the principles in every Negotiation for a successful outcome.

30 minutes. 4. THE FOUR STAGES OF NEGOTIATION

Introduction Show slide 9 and state briefly that there are four stages in Negotiation and it is necessary to take time to go through each in every negotiation for a successful outcome. Drive home the point that negotiation is a process not an event, referring to the slide, which shows the Actual Negotiation as the end not the beginning of the process and that in practice people often rush to the fourth stage thus ending up with a bad deal.

Role Play

Divide the participants into two teams with one representing the Management

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of a company and the other, the Trade Union (you are free to select other options, for example, one group could represent an industrial buyer and the other, the seller).

Give both teams five minutes to prepare to negotiate with each other and give no further guidance other than that the actual negotiation will take eight minutes. However, you can answer questions from either team provided that it does not defeat the purpose of the exercise which is to practically demonstrate a Negotiation and some of the errors often made.

Stop both teams after the five minutes and start the actual negotiation. However, you can allow an extra minute or two if more time is requested for and use this as an opportunity to illustrate that almost anything is negotiable including deadlines. Get both teams to start the actual negotiation, make notes of your observations and stop them after eight minutes.

Discussion: Discuss the role play and invite comments including:

a) Extent and methodology of information gathering, for instance did either

team initiate any meeting(s) at the preparatory stage. Refer them to the principles of personalized transactions, developing a good relationship before the negotiation and the importance of information.

b) Did both teams have a Plan of Action? If any, what were the contents? c) What was the pattern of concessions (quick, slow, asking for something

in return)? Which team made more concessions and why? d) Which team displayed more confidence and why? e) How where the members of the negotiating team selected? f) Which team listened more?

Discuss each of the stages using slides 10 to 14. Give as many practical examples as possible, refer to the role play to drive home your points and ask participants to also talk about some of their experiences and how the discussion has enabled them realise some of their past errors.

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Conclusion Show slide 15 and conclude that ADVANCE PLANNING IS A MUST FOR SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATIONS.

Take and ask a few questions if time permits.

25 minutes. 5. POWER

Introduction Show slide 16 and ask participants if they have gone into a negotiation feeling the weaker party and why? Allow answers from about 2 participants and let them know that they should NEVER enter into a Negotiation feeling they are the weaker party because Power is a subjective mental force and, therefore, largely a matter of perception. Further state that “If You Believe You Have It, You Have It, If You Believe You Don’t (Even If You Do), You Don’t Have It,” so that it is very clear to them.

It is essential to make clear that power here is viewed in its positive sense as merely the ability to influence people and events and that the party with more power (influence) will gain the most concessions. Let them know that this module is about how to have Power in any negotiation. Discussion Discuss slides 17 and 18 as follows:

a) Title Power: The legitimate power that goes to anyone who holds a title.

Advise participants to never allow themselves to be intimidated by titles. b) Reward Power: Anytime one person has the power to reward another, he

or she has reward power. Let participants know that they often have hidden reward power. For instance, when shopping for a new car they have the power to reward the sales person with a sale or they can withhold the sale. Also let them know that the defense against such power is to use reluctance, to make the reward appear as meaningless as possible.

c) Coercion Power: Explain that anyone who has the power to punish, from

a police officer to a mother, has the ability to influence and punishment comes in many forms but one of the greatest punishments that we fear is ridicule. A negotiator must come to grips with his fear of humiliation otherwise he will never succeed in influencing people. To fend off the power of coercion, participants must overcome fears. So, for instance, when the person across the table laughs at the offer, keep in mind that it’s a power ploy, don’t allow your fear of rejection to control the situation.

d) Referent Power: Explain that this power is available to anyone who

maintains a consistent set of attractive values and sticks to them. Therefore, if they are honest, fair, upstanding and considerate, they will have a strong ability to influence people – and that is worth far than any

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amount of money. e) Charisma Power: Let them know that charisma is one of the most

powerful factors of influence and comes mainly from the ability to make people feel important. State that: if you can make someone feel important, you can make him/her do anything. Also, explain other ways of achieving charisma are calling people by their names and dressing well. Ask participants for other ways of having charisma.

f) Expertise Power: Explain that through expertise power many

professionals have learned to ensure that their clients listen to them, thereby influencing them. Point out also that expertise power can be abused, if it is, it leads to loss of respect, and consequently power on the other hand, expertise power can be very advantageous in negotiations.

g) Situation Power: Explain that certain persons such as a Secretary, who

may be powerless in any other aspect of daily life, may practically hold your life in his hands in the office situation. Situation power gives people a great deal of influence over the actions of others and people Love To Use It. It can be very irritating and intimidating but can be dealt with by being courteous, understanding and definite in requests.

Ask participants for other examples of situation power.

h) Information Power: Explain that this has already been discussed in the Principles and Stages of Negotiation modules and will be discussed further in the next module. However, reemphasize the importance of information in negotiation.

i) Surroundings Power: Let them know they are better off if they can

negotiate in their offices rather than the other party’s because they can control the situation more.

j) Confusion Power: Explain that if they can get someone confused, then

they have the ability to influence him. If the other party is so confused that he doesn’t know what to do, there is a good chance that he will do whatever he is told to.

k) Competition Power: Explain that they can usually gain some influence in

negotiations if they state the fact that they have many options and do not necessarily need to make a deal with the other party.

l) Risk Sharing Power: Let participants know that when they are trying to

convince someone to invest in something, their arguments become more powerful if they can arrange the deal so that the risk is shared – they know you will fight hard because your survival also depends on the deal.

m) Identification Power: Explain to participants that if people can identify with

them they will be able to influence them. Use this to illustrate the importance of belonging to social networks.

n) Legitimacy Power: Let them know that people are conditioned to believe

anything that is printed, therefore they should use it when it is advantageous and challenge it when it used against them. Commitment Power: Explain that ability to gain the commitment of others gives power in negotiations. Commitment can be gained by involving the other party by seeking their opinions, for instance. This involvement will lead to commitment which in turn leads to power. Persistence Power: Let them know that persistence pays and that most people are not persistent

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enough. People most often get what they want because they are persistent

o) Precedent Power: Explain that precedent is another force in negotiation

and should be used to maximum advantage. It can be countered by referring to the passage of time after the precedent.

p) Attitude Power: Explain that attitude is important in negotiation and that

they should learn to see it as a game so as to have more energy, less stress and better results.

Illustrate the above as much as possible with practical examples and stories from experience.

Self Check Distribute handout 3 – What Influences People - and ask participants to complete it and re-evaluate themselves monthly. Conclusion Close this module by showing slide 19 and reemphasising that people should NEVER go into a Negotiation feeling the weaker party because there are so many power sources to draw from.

10 minutes 6. INFORMATION

Introduction Show slide 20 and open by stating the fact that - INFORMATION IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN NEGOTIATION – despite this, most unskilled negotiators hardly take the time or the effort to go through the information gathering stage of the negotiation. It can lead you to an understanding of the other side, of their needs and desires, and will help you achieve what you want. Discussion Discuss slide 20 making the following key points:

a) Knowledge is power, and the more knowledge one side is able to get

about the other, the better chance there is for victory. b) Asking questions is important – directly from the other party, from others

who have dealt with them in the past and from professionals.

c) A neutral meeting place may be best for preliminary information gathering. If you meet over lunch, away from the formality of the office, you are much more likely to collect valuable information. State this as the reason for the existence of restaurants in all cities of the world.

d) They should look out for verbal and non-verbal cues. Explain that as

much as 70% of communication is non-verbal and that this will be discussed during the communication module.

e) It is important to test the validity of information as not all information

provided is usually correct.

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Conclusion Close with a comment that gathering information may be a difficult task, but its importance cannot be overemphasized because INFORMATION IS POWER. Allow time for a few questions

10 minutes 7. TIME

Introduction Show slide 21 and ask participants if they have had to negotiate under time pressure, what the outcome was and if they were aware of being deliberately put under time pressure. Use their answers to illustrate the difficulty of negotiating effectively under time pressure and how time pressure is often used to extract concessions. Discussion Discuss slide 21 as follows:

a) Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) which was based on his findings in the

nineteenth century that eighty percent of wealth was concentrated in the hands of twenty percent of the people. Since then the rule seems to apply in unrelated fields such as business where it has been discovered that eighty percent of sales come from twenty percent of the sales force. So also in negotiation, eighty percent of concessions will be made in the last twenty percent of the time available.

b) The value of services tends to diminish rapidly after the services have

been rendered. Therefore, skilled negotiators always negotiate price before rendering their services.

c) Time pressure is one of the strongest forces in getting concessions in

negotiation. Illustrate this with the story of how during negotiations at the 1968 US – Vietnam Peace Talks in Paris, the Vietnamese were able to extract a lot of concessions because it was an election year in America and they wanted the talks concluded quickly. First the Vietnamese leased a villa in the countryside for two and a half years while the American negotiator rented a hotel room on a week to week basis. The Vietnamese then proceeded to spend week after week discussing the shape of the negotiating table

Conclusion

Conclude by stating that in negotiation, TIME REALLY IS MONEY, because you can gain a lot of money for your organization by taking time to prepare in advance. Also if, for instance, in a ten minute negotiation you can save $10,000 for your organization, you have saved money at the rate of $60,000 an hour.

25 minutes 8. GAMBITS

Introduction Show slide 22 and explain that gambits are the tactics used during the actual negotiation. Take this opportunity to remind them of the stages of negotiation:

• Clarify The Other Party’s Objectives

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• Information Gathering

• Action Plan

• The Actual Negotiation

Also explain that there are three categories of gambits – Opening, Middle and Closing and they are generally used at the opening, middle and closing phases of the actual negotiation as the names imply. Discussion Show slide 23 and discuss Opening Gambits as follows:

a) Reluctance: Explain that participants should as much as possible be

reluctant negotiators whether buying or selling. It is hard to extract concessions when you are brimming with enthusiasm for a product, service or business deal.

b) Planning: State one of the famous quotations on planning such as “he

who fails to plan plans to fail”. Further, restate that planning is essential in negotiating, therefore, every gambit must be planned in advance. Also emphasize that there must always be a negotiating range which must include the best price to possibly hope for, the price expected at the end of negotiating, and the very lowest price to be settled on. If this is well planned, it may reasonably be expected that the final agreement would fall somewhere in the range.

c) The Flinch: Let participants know they can react to an offer visibly by

showing shock, disgust or disbelief – it almost always brings a more realistic counteroffer. Ask participants if this has been used on them and what effect it had.

d) Feel/Felt/Found: Explain that they should never start a negotiation by

arguing, no matter how much they might disagree with the other party. Instead they should use the feel/felt/found strategy. This is a way of addressing a conflict by answering controversial/argumentative statements by explaining that you understand how the other feels and that many other people felt exactly the same way, but that you have studied the problem and have found a solution. This is one way conflict can be avoided .

e) Want It All: Let participants know that when making an offer, they should

ask for everything they really want and possibly more. This is because, though, the demands may seem outrageous they may well be within the opponent’s negotiating range. It also creates a climate for compromise by leaving room for both parties to win/lose one or two points and still come out with a good deal – that way a win/win situation is achieved. Give practical examples, such as separating fees from expenses when rendering a professional service, asking for free delivery when purchasing a bulky item etc.

f) First Offers: Explain that they should never jump at first offers, no matter

how good the deal looks. Accepting first offers raises two questions in the mind of the other party. First, the other party immediately thinks it could have done better. Secondly a quick yes will arouse suspicion on the other side as to whether something is wrong with the product and this can stall a good negotiation. Therefore, to first offers they should always say – I’m

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sorry but you have to do better, and wait for the other to respond. Also they should strive to always let the other party make the first offer by commencing negotiations by immediately asking for the other party’s best offer. This way concessions are being extracted from the very start without they having to make any.

g) Agreeable Means Able to Agree: Let them know that there is no need to

be obnoxious because the way they make their first proposal is very important. They should always ask for much more than they expect to get, but also imply a certain amount of flexibility in the demands. Making a “take it or leave it offer” puts the other party on the defensive and if it is not within their range may be left rather taken.

h) The Vise: Let them know the seven word statement “you will have to do

better than that” can be very effective in the art of negotiating. This statement immediately puts the other party in a spot. As a good negotiator, your response should be – “and just how much better do I have to do? This puts the pressure right back on the vise user. Also, as they use the vise gambit, they should always remember that there is room for improvement from the other side no matter what and the vise will most certainly squeeze the other party’s negotiating range.

Show slide 24 and discuss Middle Gambits as follows:

a) Higher Authority: Let them know that this is a regularly used gambit by

salesmen and purchasing executives to avoid making concessions and ask participants if they have used this gambit and to relate the situation in which it was used. Allow one or two participants to relate their experience and then explain that any negotiator who enters a bargaining game as the obvious final authority from his side puts himself at a serious disadvantage because the opponent knows that all he has to do is to convince him as the buck stops with him. Tell them to always work to keep their own resort to higher authority, while removing the other party’s ability to use higher authority.

b) Splitting The Difference: Explain to that they should never offer to split

the difference instead, they should encourage the other party to offer to do so by reminding them of the small amount that is hindering the agreement after all the time invested, this gives a controlling position and consequently leeway to work out a split that is a little better than the standard fifty – fifty.

c) Get Smart… Play Dumb: Let them know that they are better of acting as

if they know less than the other party. The dumber one acts, the better off they are, so far this is not done to the level of appearing condescending or false. Acting dumb immediately defuses the competitive spirit. Give an example of how difficult it is to fight someone who is asking for help.

d) The Trade Off: Remind them that this was discussed under negotiation

principles earlier and reemphasize that they should strive to never give concessions unless they can demand a concession in return.

e) Impasse vs. Deadlock: Distinguish between an impasse and deadlock by

stating that an impasse is like a dead end without an exit, while a deadlock is a bolt with a very complicated lock, one that may be very difficult to open. Then make the point to remember that there is always a key to a deadlock and therefore a way out for the negotiators. The set aside tactic is the way to unlock a deadlock. This entails setting aside a

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major contentious issue to discuss other minor issues involved in the negotiation. In the case of an impasse, a mediator may be necessary.

f) The Hot Potato: Explain that this gambit is much like the higher authority

gambit. Here a negotiator has a problem and throws it in the lap of his opponent, trying to get or avoid making concessions. Illustrate that this gambit is frequently used by salesmen. For instance, in an electronics shop the salesman may say: “I am willing to sell this T.V. for so much but my manager will not accept your offer”. This can be countered by simply saying: “That’s okay let’s go see him maybe I can talk him into accepting my offer”. Finally illustrate that if a hot potato is thrown into someone’s hands he is likely to drop it or throw it back to the person who threw it at him, so the same thing applies in a negotiation – never allow the opponent to make his problem yours.

Show slide 25 and discuss Ending Gambits as follows:

a) Walk Away Will Power: Tell them they should not be afraid to walk away

from a negotiation if they are not satisfied it is going their way – i.e. it has potential to be a bad deal. Leaving the negotiations does not mean they are over. In fact they may have just begun. Many times, walking away at a crucial moment will be the best way to accomplish a good deal.

b) Good Guy/Bad Guy: Illustrate this gambit with a husband and wife

negotiating to buy a house or car. The husband will be the bad guy if he responds to the sales person’s best offer with an angry walk away. The wife (now acting as the good guy) steps in to mediate the impasse by saying: “I am sure I can get my husband to continue the negotiation if only you will be a little more flexible”. Explain that business partners also use this gambit frequently

c) The Withdrawn Offer: Explain that this is a tactic used to force a decision.

It is subtle and often not recognized by the other party. After negotiating back and forth and eventually arriving at a price, the buyer proceeds to press for a further concession stating that he would not be able to go ahead with the deal if this additional concession is not made, thus withdrawing the offer. The counter to this is not to fall for it and pass it back to the other party to resolve the problem that he has cited as the reason for asking for the additional concession.

d) The Decoy and Red Herring: Let them know that these are similar

gambits used in negotiation to direct attention from the real issue(s). For instance after presenting a proposal to sell equipment to a big company, the purchasing manager says,” your proposal is okay but there is something wrong with your offer. We won’t be interested unless we can get delivery by August 20th. The point to note here is that he has created an issue to divert attention from the real issue: the price. He probably knows that the delivery date cannot be met and will, therefore, use it to extract the price concession he wants. Make it clear to them that when this gambit arises they should try and dismiss it without giving any concessions.

e) The Nibble: Explain that this is a tactic used to extract concessions after

a deal has been concluded and is often done by asking for some extra things that seem insignificant. For example, asking for a free pair of socks before paying for a suit. This tactic can be discouraged by stating that the concession can only be made if an extra suit is bought.

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Conclusion Conclude by stating that the beauty of knowing these tactics is not only in using them but more importantly, instantly recognizing them when they are being used on you. Therefore, knowledge of these tactics gives a tremendous advantage in negotiation. Allow time for a few questions

15 minutes. 9. COMMUNICATION

Introduction

Show slide 26 and state that communication skills are very important in negotiation and that in negotiation it is more important to listen than talk, this is because of the importance of information in negotiation as earlier discussed. Also explain that a great part of communication is non-verbal, especially in negotiation and that these and the hidden meanings in a lot of the statements made during negotiations have to be decoded. Self Check Ask participants to complete handout 4 – Listening Skills Checklist. Request them to take the next few weeks to work on the areas needing improvement and to complete the checklist every month for the next six months or more. Discussion Distribute handout 5 – Listening like a Negotiator and finalise the discussion on Listening Skills as follows:

a) Successful negotiators resemble the television detective Columbo – they

ask questions and listen. b) Participants should develop the desire to listen: They must accept the

fact that listening to others is their strongest weapon. c) They should always let the other person do most of the talking.

d) They should not interrupt: There is always the temptation to.

e) They should learn active listening: Active listening is the art of

communicating to the opponent that you’re hearing their every word.

f) They should always ask the other person to clarify what he or she just said when necessary: This will clear up any misunderstanding.

g) They should learn to “listen” for nonverbal messages – body language.

Let them know this would be discussed in more detail next.

h) They should ask a question … then be quiet: This is a foolproof way to listen.

Discuss slides 27 and 28 (Body Language) as follows:

a) Let them know that it is necessary to avoid negotiating over the phone

because it is not possible to read the body language of the other person and as stated earlier a great part of communication is non - verbal. If they must negotiate over the phone they should initiate the call and have all

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necessary information before them. Thus if a person they are negotiating with calls they should try to make an appointment to meet face to face, if this is not possible then they should offer to call back.

b) Explain that they should be careful with anything other than a straight

handshake. For instance, shaking with both hands may be considered forward, especially for a first meeting.

c) Explain that if they are negotiating with two other people they should

make an effort not to be seated between them because they can make signals to each other without the other party being aware.

d) Let them know it is better to disperse the negotiation when outnumbered.

Being outnumbered can be forestalled by asking how many people will be present on the other side in advance.

e) Let them know that as a general rule, men will normally keep their jackets

buttoned until they feel comfortable in their surroundings. f) It is necessary to make eye contact and study blinking rates – The Eyes

Have It. This should, however, be done without staring. Observing blinking rates is quite important because in general blinking rates increase when a person is lying or excited.

g) Finally let them know that body language can be misinterpreted,

therefore, one has to be careful and take context into account when reading body language. It is when there is a change in behaviour that the good reader of body language should pick up his ears and be careful. Recommend further reading to master this area, for instance, Body Language by Alan Pease.

Show slide 29 and introduce Hidden Meanings, then show slide 30 and discuss it further, highlighting:

a) The fact that there are expressions that should alert you to a possible

hidden meaning. These phrases almost always precede an important part of a conversation but are often stated casually.

b) Throwaways: These are seemingly meaningless phrases – “As you are

aware,” Incidentally,” “By The way,” Before I forget,” – that can point out important messages.

c) Legitimizers: Expressions such as “frankly,” “honestly,” “to tell you the

truth,” used to legitimize a sentence that is not really true. d) Justifiers: These lay the foundation for future failure and include “I will try

my best,” “I’ll see what I can do,” “I’ll work to keep it below $ X.” e) Erasers: These include “but,” and “however,” two powerful words that

have the ability to erase everything that has been said before. f) Deceptions: These enable the opponent to come up with any criticism

and include “I’m just a country boy,” “I’m not very knowledgeable about law,” “You know I never went to University.”

g) Preparers: When someone says he doesn’t mean to be personal, be

assured he is about to get very personal. Another form of this is exaggeration. For instance someone says “I need a big favour” and asks for only $ 70, he is more likely to get it. So people should try not to be got

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off guard. h) Trial Balloons: These are statements that start with “I haven’t given this a

lot of thought, but what do you think of….” or “Just of the top of my head, supposing we…..” In this case the speaker has already given this thought but may not be sure it is a good idea and will support whatever he is suggesting, so try and push harder for what you want if the offer is not what you want.

Conclusion

Conclude by stating that extra-ordinary communication skills are required for successful negotiation thus mastery of listening skills, body language and hidden meanings is essential. Take a few minutes for questions.

15 minutes 10. NEGOTIATION STYLES

Introduction Explain that one of the important factors in a negotiation is the interrelationship between the parties involved and this is determined to a large extent by their personalities which in turn affect their negotiation styles. It is, therefore, essential to understand one’s personality and that of others. The four negotiating styles to be discussed are: pragmatic, extrovert, amiable and analytical. Discussion Show slide 31 and discuss the Pragmatic Style highlighting that the pragmatic negotiator is very conscious of time, hardworking, decisive, very efficient and active. They like to be in charge. This style, for instance, therefore, has to be matched with time consciousness and provision of information for quick decision making. Small talk has to be reduced to a minimum. Show slide 32 and explain the Extrovert Style highlighting that the extrovert negotiator is friendly and open. He makes his mind up quickly and is not afraid to say no but is likely to do so in a friendly way. He is easily excited and tends to jump quickly at a new project but is poor at follow up. This style can be matched by being equally friendly and also providing information for quick decision making. The extrovert needs to be followed up. Show slide 33 and discuss the Amiable and Analytic Negotiation Styles as follows: Amiable: Amiables love people, often too much to jeopardise their reputation for being good-hearted. They, therefore, tend to be disorganized because they find it difficult to say no to people and they often have no sense of time management. For instance, if asked when they can see someone, they are likely to ask the person to drop by anytime. They can be matched by being equally nice to them, and making out time for the unexpected, for instance, lunch before or after a meeting. Analytical: The analytical negotiator loves detail and is more likely to be identified by his profession – engineer, accountant or, banker. He is fascinated by analysis. This style is matched by providing them detailed analysis and presentations.

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Show slide 34 and explain that the horizontal line represents level of assertiveness, with a high level of assertiveness being shown on the right and low on the left. The vertical line represents level of being organized, with a high level of being organized at the top and low at the bottom. Participants will have the most difficulty with the personality diagonally opposite them on the chart. Each personality style can encounter difficulties when dealing with others. These may be minimized, however, when participants know what style they are using and what style the other party is using. For this reason it is necessary to begin to analyze the people they deal with so as to understand how to negotiate with them effectively. For instance, if a participant knows he is dealing with a person who is not highly assertive (amiable/analytical), he should be aware that he probably wants more time to think things over and will be suspicious and cautious if pressured. Conclusion Explain that in real life, people do not fall into neat categories as above and that people may even be in more than one category but one is likely to be dominant. The lesson is that one has to understand his own personality style and that of others because negotiation is an exercise in human relations (remind them that you did talk of the need to personalize transactions while discussing the principles of negotiation) and the time taken to understand others and adjust to their personalities helps in this direction and builds goodwill and a basis for long term relationships.

5 minutes 11. HOW BOTH SIDES CAN WIN

Introduction Show slide 35 and explain that in a successful negotiation the object is not to beat the opponent, but to creatively reach an agreement in which each negotiator can feel a winner – THE WIN – WIN APPROACH. Discussion Continue showing slide 35 and explain that a good negotiation has been completed when:

a) Both parties can walk away from the deal feeling as though they

accomplished something important b) There is the feeling that both sides have each cared about the objectives

of the other c) Each side believes that negotiations were conducted fairly d) Each negotiator feels that he would enjoy dealing with the other at

sometime in future e) Each party believes that the other is determined to keep to the

commitments made in the contract.

A win – win negotiator is, therefore, a person who can get what he wants out of a negotiation and still meet the above standards while a losing negotiator is one who has not met the above standards, no matter how many of his objectives he gained in a negotiation. Explain further that there are five major differences between a winning negotiator and a losing negotiator:

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a) Narrowing to One Issue: The first difference is the tendency by losing

negotiators to narrow the negotiations down to one issue. For instance, if a negotiator only thinks in terms of price in a business deal, it is clear there will have to be a winner and loser in the negotiation. Good negotiators learn to always look for the other issues – the smaller things behind the stumbling blocks that are also important to the people involved.

b) Feeling Weak: The second difference is that losers always feel they have

the weaker position as they enter the negotiation. Remind participants that we discussed so many sources of power and that power is subjective, therefore, they should never go into a negotiation feeling the weaker party. The other party almost always has its pressures. If they believe they are in a position of strength, they will be better win – win negotiators.

c) Jump to Conclusions: The third difference is the tendency that losing

negotiators have to jump to conclusions about the other party’s needs. Much of the conflict in the world today could be resolved if people would realize that most of the time people are not right or wrong. They are merely seeing a problem from different perspectives. A winner never jumps to conclusion.

d) Lack of Information: Losers often try to reach an agreement without

knowing much about their opponents and the needs that they may not have mentioned. Take this opportunity to reemphasize the importance of information to a successful negotiation.

e) The Opponents Position: The fifth point that separates winners from

losers is the unwillingness of a loser to appreciate the position and values of his opponent. It is important to understand that every person acts mainly in his own interest. In order to reach a workable agreement the winning negotiator respects the needs and values of his opponent and works to satisfy those needs as well as his own.

Conclusion Conclude by letting them know that the most important of the above rules to remember as any negotiating is begun is to never jump to a conclusion and a winner also, realizes that money is not everything in a negotiation. With the ideas discussed so far, it is almost always possible to reach a win-win agreement.

5 minutes 12. CLOSING

Distribute Handout 6 - Your Negotiation Action Plan Checklist - and request that participants use it for all their subsequent negotiations. Distribute Handout 7 - Session Evaluation Form - and ask participants to evaluate the session. End by wishing participants success with their future negotiations and show slide 37 - You can get anything you want in life, but you have to do more than ask, YOU HAVE TO NEGOTIATE. This ensures that you end on a high note.

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HANDOUT 1 Time Limit Quiz READING COMPREHENSION (For each correct answer, score 5 points.) You have only three minutes to finish this quiz. 1. Read everything before doing anything. 2. Print your name in the upper left-hand corner of this page 3. Put your address under your name; include zip code 4. On the back of this page, write the purpose of this quiz in 20 words or less 5. Circle the word “name” in sentence 2 6. Draw seven small squares in the upper right-hand corner of this page 7. Place your home telephone number in the squares. Add area code below 8. Put a circle around each square 9. Sign your name under the title of this quiz 10. After the word “title” in sentence 9, write, “yes, yes, yes” 11. Call out your first name when you get to this point in the test 12. Put a circle around each word in sentence 7 13. Put an X in the lower left-hand corner of this page 14. Draw a triangle around the X you just wrote down 15. On the reverse side of this page multiply 703 by 9805 16. Draw a rectangle around the word “page” in sentence 4 17. If you think you have followed directions up to this point, call out “I have” 18. To the left of this direction, print the number of members you’ve recruited 19. Count out loud in your normal speaking voice backwards from ten to one 20. Now that you have finished reading carefully, do what you are asked in question two and raise your

hand to signify to the group leader that you have completed the quiz within the time limit (Source: JCI Leadership Handbook)

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HANDOUT 2 Self Check Rate yourself on each of the 10 traits Excellent Needs Work 1. Developing negotiation consciousness 5 4 3 2 1 2. Listening well 5 4 3 2 1 3. Having high aspirations 5 4 3 2 1 4. Being a detective: Asking questions 5 4 3 2 1 5. Having patience 5 4 3 2 1 6. Maintaining flexible assumptions 5 4 3 2 1 7. Focusing on satisfaction 5 4 3 2 1 8. Taking risks 5 4 3 2 1 9. Solving problems 5 4 3 2 1 10. Being willing to walk away 5 4 3 2 1 How did you do? You have an opportunity to work on your weak areas in your next negotiation. For example, if you rate yourself as needing work on developing negotiation consciousness, plan to be more assertive. If you lag when it comes to asking perceptive questions, set yourself the goal of becoming a better detective. The areas I need to focus on are: 1. ________________________________________ 2. ________________________________________ 3. ________________________________________ (Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow)

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HANDOUT 3 WHAT INFLUENCES PEOPLE Evaluation Sheet

As I am

As others see me

1. Title

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

2. Reward

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

3. Coercion

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

4. Reference

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

5. Charisma

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

6. Expertise

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

7. Situation

As I would like to be

As I am

As others see me

8. Information

As I would like to be 1 = worst; 10 = best (Source: You Can Get Anything You Want But You Have To Do More Than Ask – Roger Dawson)

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HANDOUT 4 Listening Skills Checklist Yes No Needs Improvement 1 I often find myself waiting for my “turn” to talk. ___ ____ ____ 2. I am aware of the importance of listening in my daily life. ___ ____ ____ 3. I realize that listening is a matter of skill, not intelligence, and I am doing something to develop my

listening skills. ___ ____ ____ 4. When someone speaks to me, I give him my full attention. ___ ____ ____ 5. I encourage others to talk by willingly listening instead of speaking. ___ ____ ____ 6. I assume every person has something worthwhile to say, and I am anxious to understand them. ___ ____ ____ 7. I use questions to guide my speaker so he will clarify his message to me. ___ ____ ____ 8. I “talk” to my speaker through my actions, facial expressions, etc. ___ ____ ____ 9. I give verbal feedback to tell the speaker how he is getting through to me. ___ ____ ____ 10. I replay messages for clarity by saying things like, “this is how I heard what you said. Am I correct?

___ ____ ____

11. I listen past the words of an emotional speaker and help him convey his true message. ___ ____ ____ 12. I am aware of the voice tone and actions that give away unstated messages. ___ ____ ____ 13. I draw mental outlines as I listen so I can be sure I have got all the major points of the message.

___ ____ ____

14. I review my outlines as I listen so I don't forget important points. ___ ____ ____

15. I will complete this checklist every month ___ ____ ____ (Adapted from Junior Chamber Individual Development Series – Speaking Skills)

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HANDOUT 5 Listening Like a Negotiator Successful negotiators resemble the television detective Columbo – they ask questions and listen. Here is how you can emulate Columbo:

Develop the desire to listen You must accept the fact that listening to others is your strongest weapon. Given the opportunity, the other

negotiator will tell you everything you need to know. If this doesn’t create desire, I don’t know what will.

Always let the other person do most of the talking. This is a simple matter of mathematics. You talk 30 percent of the time, you allow them to talk 70 percent of the

time.

Don’t interrupt There is always the temptation to interrupt so you can tell the other person something you think is vitally

important. It isn’t so don’t. When you are about to speak, ask yourself if it is really necessary.

Learn active listening. It’s not enough that you’re listening to someone – you want to be sure that they know you’re listening. Active

listening is the art of communicating to them that you’re hearing their every word.

Always ask the other person to clarify what he or she just said. This will clear up any misunderstanding you have.

Learn to “listen” for nonverbal messages – body language. The other negotiator may be communicating with you via body language – you need to decode the message.

Ask a question … then be quiet. This is a foolproof way to listen. Think of yourself as an interviewer – you’re Barbara Walters! (Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow)

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HANDOUT 6 Your Negotiation Action Plan Checklist Here is a simplified step-by-step process for you to follow in your next negotiation. You may want to keep a copy of this handy.

Have I established my targets? • Maximum? • Goal? • Bottom Line?

Do I understand my real interests – what do I really need to achieve in this negotiation? Where should I start? What concessions am I willing to make? What are my options? What are my strengths? What is the pressure on the other side? What are their real needs What are their options? What are the deadlines in this negotiation? Are they negotiable? Are there any mutually acceptable standards/objective criteria we can use to reach agreement? What should be in the agenda? Where should we hold the negotiation? How many negotiators should we have? How can I help the other side feel satisfied? Do we have a trusting relationship? What can I do to create a cooperative environment? Am I concentrating on being a good listener? Have I identified the common ground in the negotiation – where do we agree? What interests do we have in common? What options exist for mutual satisfaction? How can we expand the pie?

(Source: Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow)

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HANDOUT 7 SESSION EVALUATION FORM

Seminar title: Date:

Your name (Optional): Trainer’s name:

The questions below are designed to help us evaluate the program you have just completed and to pinpoint those areas that should be redesigned for future participants. Please take a few minutes of your time and answer as honestly and accurately as you can. You need not sign your name unless you wish to do so. 1. Please indicate your overall reaction to the training session just completed Very good Good Fair Poor 2. Did the topic presented relate to your needs? A great deal Somewhat Very little Not at all 3. Will you be able to use and apply the material presented in your daily duties? A great deal Somewhat Very little Not at all 4. Would you please give us your overall reaction to the way the trainer presented the session? Very good Good Fair Poor 5. If used, what was your reaction to the visual aids which were used? Very good Good Fair Poor 6. What was your reaction to the quality and content of the handout materials you received? Very good Good Fair Poor 7. What suggestions do you have for improving this session? _______________________________________________________________________________________

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