nazi sin a foxhole

8/8/2019 Nazi Sin a Foxhole

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3 Nazis in a Foxhole

By

Joshua Bushman


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EXT. SOMEWHERE IN GERMANY 1945- NIGHT

As gunfire and explosions are going off in the backgroundtwo Nazi buddies Jon and Claude are smoking cigarettes andtaking drinks out of a flask while laying in a foxhole. Thegood friends are having quite the laugh and then their good

friend Howie comes to join them in all their laughter. Howiegives them the Hitler Salute.

HOWIEHile da Fellas!

Jon and Claude see that Howie is coming to join them andthey both stand to return the salute.

JON AND CLAUDEHile da Howie!

They all jump in the foxhole together.

HOWIESo what were you guys a talkingabout which caused da greatlaughter? Wait dont tell me was itda chocolate factory with da WillyWonka yaw?

JONNo da Howie, Claude was a doing daimpression of da French persons.

Howie starts clapping with great excitement.

HOWIEOh I want to see this, do it for meda Claude.

JONYour mother wants to see this, oh!

Claude and Jon hile five each other cause they just pulled afast one on Howie.

HOWIEOh da Jon you got me good with thatone you clever little puppy.

JONYaw I did any da who, Claude doyour impression.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 2.

CLAUDEAlright.

Claude is taking a moment to get into character.

CLAUDE

Oh look at me Im da French personwith da croissants and da wine we,we. Hey everybody I think daGermans are going to attack usfrom this way, so lets cement areguns in that direction yaw. When inda fact the Germans are going toattack us from da other direction.Then we are going to be in dapooper and we still are not goingto take a shower after da fact.

HOWIE

Wow that was da good one yaw.

JONThats what she said, ha, ha, ha!

Jon and Claude hile five each other once again.

HOWIEOh da Jon you are to hilarious youshould be da stand up comedian withda microphone and da laughter. Sohow were your days?

CLAUDEMine was Nazi-riffic.

JONMine too, oh Howie I almost forgotto ask you how was your first daywith da Hitler?

CLAUDEOh yaw, please tell us!

HOWIEWell let me you two, I woke earlytoday so I could make it on time toda wolfs lair, I get there andfirst thing I had to do was give daHitler da bubble bath. He loves dabubbles; also I did not know thisbut he is got da really nice body.From the light of the candles hispecks looked like da mountains of

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 3.

HOWIE (contd)Austria, and his abs looked like dahills.

Jon an Claude are amazed by his tale.

JON AND CLAUDE

Da Wow!

HOWIEVery yaw.

Claude feels compelled to do another impression.

CLAUDEHey would you like to see daimpression of da British yaw?

HOWIEYaw I would love too!

Claude gets in character again.

CLAUDEOh look at me Im da British personwith da fish and da chips. Oh lookat us were having are bottomsserved to us by da Germans. Americahelp us and even when you do westill wont brush our teeth.

JONThat was a good one you soundedjust like da British persons.

HOWIEYaw you did, you should be da actorwith da caviar. Then complain abouteverything political as ifeverybody will listen to youopinion and it will change theirminds.

JONSo did you and da Hitler do any

thing else today?

HOWIEOh I forgot, after the bubble bathda Hitler likes da good rub down.He was whispering things in my earlike he liked for his bum to be dapounded. So I rubbed as hard as Icould and he made quite da moan.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 4.

JONYour face made quite da moan!

Jon and Claude are about to hile five, but Howie interrupts.

HOWIE

Yaw it did.

Jon and Claude take their hands from out of the sky andslowly place them into their pockets. Claude decides tobreak the silence with one of his "candid" impressions.

CLAUDEOh look at me Im one of thoseAmerican persons with dahamburgers, da French fries, and dasodas. Oh it is so wonderful, untilfifty years later when everyonewill be obese and we will blame it

on our metabolism.

HOWIEOh da Claude you are so da ew-bercool just like da Hitler.

Howie begins to cry.

JONWhats wrong da Howie?

CLAUDEYaw what is it?

HOWIEIts just da Hitler is such damagical man of mystery. He so hardon the surface like a rock gettinga beating from the waves ofNormandy. But on the inside he isda squishy-ness of da gummy bear inda outside in da heat. While alittle girl is licking on da lollypop and her family is eating dabratwurst and da sour kraut.

JONWhat are you trying to tell us daHowie?

HOWIEAfter da bubble bath and da massageI was trying to calm down myexcitement. But then...

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 5.

Howie cant finish the sentence, he begins to cry even more.

CLAUDEJust let it out da Howie.

JON

Yaw its okay.

HOWIEYour right, well da Hitler wantedto show me his under wherecollection, and he had a newinvention called da thong. He putit on and all there was, was alittle string separating his firmhinny and a swastika was the onlything covering his ew-ber bulge. Icant stop thinking about it doesthat make me da homosexual.

JONNo that does not as long as youonly think these thoughts about daHitler then you are not da gayperson.

HOWIEYaw?

CLAUDEYaw.

JONVery yaw, so you turn that bananafrown upside down and turn into thehot fudge sundae. With dasprinkles, da whip cream, and dahard nuts.

HOWIEYoure right, I love da Hitler andIm not afraid to say it. HeyClaude can you do you impression ofda Russians?

CLAUDEOh look at me Im da Russians withda cold weather, da chess, andda...

Suddenly there are sounds of airplanes heading towards thethree Nazis they look up to the sky.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 6.

JONOh no here come da enemy planes!

JON, CLAUDE, AND HOWIEDa Ahh!!!

There is a huge explosion and the three Nazi friends arekilled instantly.

nazi sin a foxhole

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