naviating transitions workshop

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“The past is prologue.” Wm Shakespeare The past sets the scene for how we manage the present moment and create the future. Examine past major life changes How do you prepare for a new role in life? How do you think about change? Navigating Transitions Workshop

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Navigating Transitions is a seminar offered to companies with employees facing retirement or job loss. Using the shared experiences of past participants who are retirees or unemployed, as well as evidence-based research about the mind, emotions and the process of change, this workshop offers ideas and tools for working through major life transitions.

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Page 1: Naviating transitions workshop

“The past is prologue.” Wm Shakespeare

The past sets the scene for how we manage the present moment and create the future.

Examine past major life changes

How do you prepare for anew role in life?

How do you think about change?

Navigating Transitions Workshop

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This presentation explores issues related to Preparing For Retirement Dealing With Unexpected

Unemployment Creating identity in the “new normal”

Coping With Change In Uncertain Times:

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1. Examine the Five Keys for Navigating Life Transitions: Self-Knowledge: our personal approach to change Self-Awareness: what we need for life satisfaction Social Networks: connections that promote well-

being Creative Courage for re-invention Openness to the unknown

Magellan Health Services, Inc. |

3

Objectives

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Clarifies what we have going for us and feel confident about;

Opens up possibilities for new habits of mind that are adapted to new circumstances in life;

Sheds light on the role we play in making our lives work;

Self-Knowledge

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A) I need to have as much information as possible and have a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.B) I try not to think about it, just wait and see what shakes out.C) I imagine the worst. That way I am prepared for the things I fear and happy if none of them occur.D) I have learned that all I can do is bring my best game to the present moment.

When it looks like a change is on the horizon:

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A) I get a good start but when obstacles arise I can lose energy and slide back;

B) When I get clarity about what I want I will do the work to get there;C) I use obstacles as creative challenges; I don’t always overcome them but I get stronger because of them.D) No matter how hard I work at at, something always interferes with my making the goal;

When I set a goal for myself in the past:

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“Part of the transition to retirement, I have been told and have personally found true, is to both imagine and begin to live as a retiree before formal retirement.” Ralph T.

“I am a person who needs a long “warm-up” to important change, i.e. I like to research what I’m getting into, think about it from many different angles, and go through all the ‘what-ifs.’ But in my case the offer of a retirement package gave me about 30 days to make a decision. I had thought about the eventual exit from the job for years and talked about it with my colleagues on a regular basis, but the actual decision-making in such a short time was hard for me. I had to do my ‘adjustment thinking’ after the fact. But because I know myself I understood that those first months when I felt disoriented and anxious were something I had to go through and would pass.” Nate W.

“I worked for 30 years in a large system with fairly rigid and consistent rules. I was able to be quite creative and innovative as far as the projects I worked on, but the organization itself was highly structured. I did some consulting work and built up some clients for a year or so before I retired, because I knew that being productive would continue to be a high priority for me. But I am a fairly disciplined person so I did not miss the rules and created my own structure.” Ben P.

Notes from the field

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Some questions to guide self-awareness:

Today, when you first introduce yourself to a stranger, how often do you name your job, title, occupation or profession?

What pursuits do you have in mind for your future that might replace fulfillment you find in your work today?

What is your view of a successful ending?

2. Self-AwarenessSheds light on the role we play

in making our lives work

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“I run for exercise and for my mental well-being, and my wife used to complain that running consumed too much of the little spare time we had when we were both working and raising kids. For years I had to make deals with my wife as to how I would fit running into all our responsibilities. Now that we are retired and I am training for marathons she is thrilled that I have something guaranteed to get me out of the house and give her some space.” Dell P.“At Bell Labs – for most of the 25 years I was there – there were retirement parties and a big send-off when someone reached that milestone. When I left, it was after my entire department had been dismantled in a 60-day period and I had been leap-frogging from project to project trying to stay with the company. My last day I don’t think anyone noticed I was leaving because things were so disconnected. The tension and instability those last few years made the ending more bitter than sweet and I had to resolve it on my own.” Jack G.

Notes from the field

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Social networks either support or block our happiness and health;Strong interpersonal skills are directly associated with emotional and physical well-being;

3. Social Networks

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Persons with more types of social relationships live longer and have less cognitive decline with aging, greater resistance to infectious disease, and better prognoses when facing chronic life-threatening illnesses. “Can We Improve Our Physical Health By Altering Our Social Networks?” Perspectives on Psychological Science, Vol. 4 No. 4 2009

“The role of social environments may be especially important for older persons who commonly experience major social transitions such as retirement, bereavement, and inability to participate in social activities because of disability or lack of mobility. But social integration literature suggests that social environments play an essential role in the health and well-being of people who are neither challenged by major life stressors nor by serious disease” (emphasis added) Pillemer, K., et al Social integration in the second half of life. (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press) 2000

Notes from research in the field

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“We moved to an area where most of our neighbors are retirees, so we are with many ‘like’ people. When I was employed it felt right to be around people who had regular schedules. Now being around retirees is our ‘new normal.’” Sue T.

“We have moved to an area where our day-to-day friends are retirees. I play a lot of golf. I worked in sales for years and I need to be around people. Also I need to get out of my wife’s hair.“ Dick L.

“I need to stay connected to my professional community because I am very interested in developments in the field. I go to conferences and connect with peers online to stay current, but it is great to do this without the pressure of deadlines or schedules.” Al J.

Notes From The Field

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How to acquire creative courage in 3 easy steps: Be afraid. Focus your thinking and

emotions on the actions needed here and now. Leave your comfort zone.

“Conscious creation takes great courage. To To summon your energy, permit it to flow at as it will, and express itself as something new and unique with your personal stamp on it is on it, is to to risk everything.” Annie Zalezsak

4. Creative courage

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“My work environment, in past years, had a vibrant, "can-do“ positive, productive quality to it: this was Bell Labs, a fantastically innovative organization capable of conjuring multiple solutions to problems posed to us, leaving ‘little doubt that it can be done.’ Separation from that environment, although voluntary, was traumatic to my ego and sense of value as a contributor. To compensate, I needed to find outlets for my energy and creativity, expressed through: tutoring, teaching, church activities, deeper involvement with family [children and grandchildren], joint projects with my wife. Sustaining intellectual stimulation is more of a challenge and remains a work in progress.” Ralph T.

“My wife and I divorced a year before I was forced into retirement because the company was sold and my job no longer existed. I had 2 kids in college and no pension fund so at 58 years of age, for the first time in my life I was a free-lancer and not by choice. After 5 years of struggle with a whole new way of doing things I have more work than I can handle. It was very tough but I can honestly say I am glad this happened because if I had not been pushed out of my comfort zone I would never have taken the leap.” Len C.

Notes From The Field

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Researchers using longitudinal data from the Health and Retirement Study explored the forces that shape changes in happiness between the last wave of full employment and the first wave of full retirement. What matters is not the type of transition (gradual retirement or cold turkey) but whether people perceive the transition as chosen or forced. (emphasis added)

Estaban Calvo et al “Gradual Retirement, Sense of Control and Retirees’ Happiness” Research on Aging January 2009 vol. 31 no. 1 112-135

Notes From Research in the Field

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Resilience to stress and the capacity to successfully navigate change is linked to:

Understanding and engaging with our power to create and exercise choice in a given situation;

The cognitive choice to embrace uncertainty and find the gifts in “not knowing” where the end points are;

Acceptance of situations as they are rather than continually evaluating what we think they should be because of ours or others’ expectations. Wellness Councils of America

5. Openness to the unknown

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“This is going to sound crazy. Say yes to everything. Accept all offers. Go along with the plan. Support someone else’s dream. Say "yes"; "right"; "sure"; "I will"; "okay"; "of course"; "YES!" Cultivate all the ways you can imagine to express affirmation. When the answer to all questions is yes, you enter a new world, a world of action, possibility, and adventure. Yes glues us together. Yes starts the juices rolling. Yes gets us into heaven and also into trouble. Trouble is not so bad when we are in it together, actually.” Improv Wisdom, Patricia Ryan Madsen, retired from Emerita faculty, Stanford University

Notes From The Field

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“I was an executive at an international company with a great deal of status and responsibility, no family time when I was in town and lots of travel throughout the year. I took a leave of absence to recover from surgery and when I returned to work neither my position nor salary existed. Rather than take a demotion in what was clearly a destabilized work environment I left and began a private tutoring service. The loss of status was more difficult than the loss of income but after I adjusted to that I began to enjoy the freedom of trying creative ways to network and get new business. I had to think on my feet and redefine what it meant to be secure. Whatever happens with this new venture I have more ‘muscle’ for managing the unknown than I did before this happened.” William R.

“My husband leased a snow-removal truck and was all set to make extra money clearing roads in the winter - the first winter in years that it rained more than it snowed. We had to make to payments on a truck we could not use. But trying to dig out of that financial disaster led to some new connections with local people who hired him to do contracting work that has turned out to be very successful. We had to let go of the vision we started out with but I’m glad we were able to say ‘yes’ to things as they came up. I could not have predicted how it is all turning out.” Louise S.

 

Notes From The Field

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Status – our sense of personal standing Certainty – the degree of predictability we perceive Autonomy – our sense of control over events Relatedness – our sense of personal safety with

others Fairness – our sense that the world works in an

equitable way

David Rock, “SCARF: A Brain-Based Model for Collaborating With & Influencing Others,” Neuroleadership Journal

5 domains activate either “primary reward” or “primary threat” circuitry of the brain - and their associated networks

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The brain perceives uncertainty and change as a threat which triggers the stress response. Research shows these “mental vitamins” optimize brain matter and create well-being despite the tensions of change. www.mindsight.com

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Develop your own “Board of Advisors.” Just as an organization has a board of directors, you can elect your own group of trusted people to offer you counsel and support. Your board of advisors may only have one thing in common: you. Richard Leider, founding partner of The Inventure Group

Reaching Your Vision

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Contact us for a free consultation

631-366-4265 www.lifestage.org

Jude Treder-Wolff, LCSW, RMT, CGP & Nicholas Wolff, LCSW, BCD, TEP

496 Smithtown Bypass Suite 202 Smithtown NY 11787 631-366-4265 [email protected]