20 Practical Jokes for KidsHere are some simple practical jokes to try out, but be ready to run away fast or even spend a weekend grounded as a punishment.

1 Leave a message for someone on the phone.

Say that a Mr Lyon called and wants you to phone him back. Then leave the number of the local zoo. You could do this when visiting any office, just leave a note by the phone. Other names you could use are Mrs Behr, Ana Conda, Harris Hawk, Mrs Turtle.

2 Glue a shiny coin to the floor or pavement.

Then watch people as they go by and try to pick it up. Do not use superglue, just a nice sticky glue. Take along your camera for this one.

3 Pack some tissue paper into your victim’s shoes.

Don’t fill it, just put in enough to make them wonder why their shoes don’t fit any more. You could say, “My feet feel very swollen this morning. How about yours?.’

4 Put a large glass bowl of water in the

visitor’s area at your school. Place a card next to the bowl with these words in neat lettering: Invisible Japanese Cowfish. Watch visitors search for those cute little fish. They may even claim to see some of them. Hey! Isn’t that one near the bottom of the bowl? Moooo!

5 Open up all the breakfast cereal boxes.

Remove the inner bags with their contents and put them back in the wrong boxes. The last time I tried this only one person noticed. Perhaps the stuff in these cereal packets all taste the same?

6 Hang a plastic spider from a long piece of thread so

you can move it up and down above the dinner table. Watch Aunt Bertha’s face when the little varmint appears in front of her nose just as she is slurping her soup.

7 Don’t you find going to the supermarket a

bore? Well, here’s one way to brighten it up. As you go around the supermarket, fill other people’s trolleys with all kinds of nonsense. You can do this when they are busy talking on their phones. Start to make a list of what you could grab. Let’s see: A big box of nappies or diapers. A bag of barbecue fuel. A husk of bananas.....

8 Put a cotton reel in an inside jacket pocket. Then use

a needle to lead the end of the thread through your jacket. Just leave a loose end showing for some fussy adult to notice and watch them try to remove it. Oh Timothy, you are so untidy...

9 With a friend, stand in

the middle of a busy town and start pointing and looking at something in the sky. Turn to people passing by and say ‘Hey, did you see that?’ When lots of people are looking up at the sky, just walk away and try not to giggle.

10 Ask someone outside a building to hold the end of a

ball of string while you go around the corner with the rest of it. Explain that it is a measuring project for school. Find another person around the corner and ask them to hold the ball of string. Now sneak away from your two assistants.

11 Put a note in the windscreen wiper

of a badly parked car. The note should say. ‘I have just banged into your car and the people watching think I am leaving my name and phone number.’

12 Put up a notice on a nearby wall that reads

“LOST on this path. My pet mamba snake. Answers to the name of Venom. If found do not pick up or stroke, Please contact Telephone: (leave a nonsense number).”

13 Replace the inside pages of the daily newspaper

with yesterday’s news. Now sit back and see how quickly mum or dad spot it. If they are tired and there is no big news story, they may just keep reading and say “Well I never!’ but its worth a try.

14 When the school or the town fountain is

switched off overnight, fill it with washing up liquid. The more liquid, the better the mess. The joke was played in the town of Hertford, England at the opening of a new fountain. All that foam! All those important people getting so angry! How can kids do such an awful thing?

15 Go around the house (or school) and change all the

clocks by one hour. Then sit back and enjoy the fun. There’s one big decision: Should you put them forward one hour or back one hour? Which will create the most confusion? Everyone finding that they are late or that they are early?

16 In a store or charity shop, tuck a faded piece

of paper inside a drawer of an old or antique piece of furniture. The paper will have this message on it.

“Lat 16° 49’ S, Long 144° 16’ W. Dig near tall

pile of coral at entrance to the lagoon” This is the exact position of a small coral island in the South Pacific. Now don’t expect immediate results

but keep checking the newspaper for something like ‘Local family sell up and head off for treasure island.’

17 Stick Push and Pull notices on the wrong

sides of the door. Then sit back and watch the cabaret begin.

18 Get some T shirts, each with a single

letter on them. Then get your friends to wear them and have their photo taken standing in a line next to the headteacher. The letters NERD would be quite good.

19 This is an old one but always works. Its

good for sleepovers or activity camps. If a bed has a top sheet, bring the bottom end back up to the top and under the pillow. Watch your friends struggle as they try to get into bed at the end of a long and tiring day. In the UK, it is called an ‘apple pie bed’.

20 Fill two glasses of water and

ask a friend to help you with an experiment. They must hold their hands flat and palms upwards. Put a glass on one hand and ask ‘Does that feel strange?’ When they say ‘No’ (or ‘Yes’), place the second glass on their other hand and run away.

Hope you enjoyed these practical joke. Don’t just read about them, try them out too. arcadianjazz@googlemail.com

A few corny school gags

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ?Pupil: Hot water !

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days? Pupil: All of them

! Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a ! pound, what would each bun be ?! Pupil: Stale !

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

Teacher: If you add 34,312 + 76,188, then divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get ?Pupil: The wrong answer !

Teacher: If there are seven flies a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left ?Pupil: Just the squashed one !

Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attentionPupil: I'm paying as little as I can !

Teacher: What kind of birds do you find in captivity?Pupil: Jailbirds !

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to ?Pupil: Nobody I know !

TEACHER: Why are you late?PUPIL: Please, sir, the sign outside the school says, `GO SLOW, CHILDREN!'

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?PUPIL: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: You're late! You should have been here at nine o'clock.PUPIL: Why, sir, what happened?