Conscious Dating Module 3

‘Love is Blind’ Syndrome

Signs that you may be blinded by love:

•  You don’t see (or admit to seeing) the warning signs and red flags •  You rationalize or make excuses for their bad behavior •  You shut out caring people who want you to open your eyes and see clearly •  You are overly attached to, or dependent upon your love interest •  You have insufficient knowledge of each other’s patterns, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors, and make assumptions that are based on wishful thinking rather than facts •  Your trust is based on over-idealization, not on experience of how the other behaves • Your belief “we will always be together” is based on hope, attraction and naivety

“Love is Blind” Syndrome

What is Conscious

Dating?

Conscious Dating is: “To date with conscious intention.” Definition of Dating: Singles seeking a partner. Dating Process: Single Dating Exclusive/Couple/Relationship

What is Conscious Dating?

3 Levels of Consciousness 1.  Unconscious 2.  Semi-Conscious 3.  Conscious

Intention - Making a choice mindful of long-term consequences. Being clear about what you want for your future and acting in alignment with your desired outcomes.

What is Conscious Dating?

10 Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #1 – Know Who You Are And What You Want Do your work to uncover: •  Limiting Beliefs •  Life Purpose •  Life Vision •  Values/Passions/Strengths

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #2 – Learn How To Get What You Want •  Focus on what you want (not what you don’t want) and

learn how to bring everything into alignment with your goals including your beliefs, attitudes, choices, and actions.

•  Law of Attraction – Pay attention to what you are focusing your attention on!

•  Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #3 – Be the “Chooser” Choosers are: •  Proactive •  Positive •  Assume Abundance •  Creative •  Assertive •  Risk-Takers •  Goal-Oriented

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Obstacles to being a Choosers are:

•  Low Self Esteem •  Limiting Beliefs/Attitudes •  Conformity to social

pressures •  Lace of creativity,

information or skill •  Gender roles •  Need to please others

Principle #4 – Balance Your Head with Your Heart and Your Hormones!

Our goal should be to use our physical and emotional

reactions to potential partners as useful information, and balance them with our Requirements, Needs, and Wants to make conscious relationship choices.

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #5 – Be Ready and Available for Commitment When your dating strategy doesn’t align with your readiness

status, you unconsciously set yourself up for failure, complicating your life and your dating partner’s life.

Wanting a Relationship vs. Being Ready for a Relationship

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #6 – Use the Law of Attraction Misery loves company! Success breeds success! What are you REALLY focusing

your energy on? Do you fully BELIEVE in what you

are focusing your energy on rather than just wanting/hoping for it?

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #7 – Gain Relationship Knowledge and Skills What are your blind spots in your current relationships? What are your attitudes and beliefs in your close relationships

now and in the past? Identify, learn, and practice the relationship skills (social,

dating, and intimacy skills) you need to improve

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #8 – Create a Support Community Have at least one friend of the opposite sex to help you scout,

meet, sort, screen and test potential dates. Have friendships that support your emotional and social needs.

You cannot expect your partner to support you 24/7.

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #9 – Practice Assertiveness Learn to say “NO” Learn to create boundaries and enforce them Practice the Process for Conscious Communication!

Step 1 - Notice the discord in yourself Step 2 - What am I feeling? “I feel……” Step 3 – Why do I feel……? Step 4 – How do I want to feel? Step 5 – What do I need to feel……..? (Be Specific!) Step 6 – Make the request

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

Principle #10 – Be a Successful Single Live your life fully in the present and let go of attachment to

future outcomes! Am I truly happy living the life I want, while I am single? The way you live your life now is a beacon for your life partner,

which will make it easier for you to find him/her!

Expanding on the Principles of Conscious Dating

I Have The Right To: • Live My Life to the Fullest, the Way I Want • Be Happy • Be Loved and Love Unconditionally • Express My Feelings • Express My Opinions and Beliefs • Be Treated With Dignity and Respect • Say “Yes or No” Without Permission

Your Rights!

I Have The Right To: • Change My Mind • Say “I Don’t Understand” • Be Myself, Not Acting for The Benefit of Others • Decline Responsibility for Other People’s Problems • Make Reasonable Requests of Others • Set My Own Priorities • Be Listened To, and Taken Seriously

Your Rights!

Take The Assessment

• Were there any surprises? • What areas of your life do you most want to work on? • Prioritize the top 3 areas you would like to work on. • Questions?

Exercise #1 360 Life Assessment

Bonus! Conscious Dating

Checklist for Single Parents!

What did you find most valuable for yourself?