mn victim witness academy 2014 homicide presenter margaret mcabee © margaret mcabee
TRANSCRIPT
MN Victim Witness Academy 2014Homicide
PresenterMargaret McAbee
© Margaret McAbee
Initial ContactExtreme vulnerability
Information from law enforcement
Meet family where they are
Take clues from the family
Validation
How to deal with the media
Crime Reparations
Crime scene clean up
Contact information
Families in GriefRules of grieving
Gender differences
What To ExpectFight, flight, freeze
Shock, numbness, disbelief
Helplessness/vulnerable
Sleep patterns, dreams, flashbacks
Inability to concentrate
Loss of short-term memory
Not wanting to live
InformationThe jigsaw puzzle
Viewing the body
Updates on the case
Case milestones
Preparation for the trial
Impact Statement
Sentencing
Unanswered questions/reviewing the case
Post conviction
When There Are ChildrenCritical to tell them the truth
Simple language
Answer their questions
Children have the same feelings and needs as adults
What they need to know:Was it their fault?Is it contagious?Who will take care of me?
TRAUMATIC DEATH = MULTIPLE LOSSES
Love
Identity/Role
Survivor Victim
© Margaret McAbee
What’s Lost?Safety Values/Priorities Hopes/Dreams/
Future
Trust Feelings Love
Spiritual Beliefs Attitudes Joy
Power/Choices Anonymity Identity/Role
Friends/Support System Innocence
Financial Security Assumptions
Self Esteem
Ultimately you lose who you are!
© Margaret McAbee
Memories
Skills
Job ?
Family
Friends
© Margaret McAbee
A new normal Ability to have fun
Happiness Hope/Dreams/Future
Joy Renewed spirituality
Safety Trust
Power/Choices Laughter
Love Peace
Friends/Support System Fulfillment
You Get to Choose!© Margaret McAbee
What If?Murder / Suicide
Unsolved Murder / Cold Case
Police Shooting
Justifiable Homicide
Old Homicide
NEEDED…
A strong deep person wise enough allow me to grieve in the depth of who I am.
And strong enough to hear my pain without turning away.Not too close, because then you couldn’t help me to see.Not to objective, because then you might not care.Not too aloof, because then you could not hug me.Not too caring because I’d be tempted to let you live my life
for me.I need someone who believes that the sun will rise again, but
who does not fear my darkness or my walk through the night.
Someone who can point out the rocks in my way without making me a child by carrying me.
Someone who can stand in thunder and watch the lightning and believe in a rainbow.
~ Father Joe Mahoney
Margaret McAbeeConsultant, Traumatic Loss and Grief
[email protected] Mobile
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Survivor Resources651.266.5674
Website: www.Survivorresources.org