CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK

ENTERTAINMENTTHE PHILIPPINES’s 1st & ONLY FREE BROADSHEET NEWSPAPER

6 July 22-July 29, 2011

Joke #1 - Manny at McdoAfter a boxing fight of Manny

The Pacman, he decided to go tohis endorsed fast food chain theMcdonald’s. In the counter…

Crew: Sir, good day, may I takeyour order please?

Manny: Letter…letter…Crew: Yes sir, what letter will

you order?Manny: (Mad) I said letter okay

… you know, Im still waiting formy wife Jinkee…

Joke #2 - LoveSa isang bench sa isang school playground, may dalawang

highschool ang naglalambingan.School girl: Babe, mahal mo ba ko talaga?School boy: Oo nga eh, tini-text at tweet ko naman yan ah…School girl: Ehhh…gusto ko marinig mula sayo yan. Sabi-

hin mo nga…School boy: NGA…

Joke #3 - Biyaheng langitIsang magnanakaw, guro at abogado ang namatay. Napunta

sila sa langit pero sabi ni St. Peter dahil sa masyado ng punoang langit, may tanong na dapat an sagutin. Kung mali, ibabag-sak sa impiyerno.

Tanong sa guro: ano ang pangalan ng malaking barkonglumubog dahil sa malaking iceberg?

Guro: Titanic po. (lusot na si Ma’am paakyat ng langit)St. Peter: Sino naman ang gumanap na Jack na bida sa

movie na Titanic?Magnanakaw: Mahirap yan ah, napanood ko yun sa pirated

DVD eh… Aha si Leonardo Di Caprio. (akyat na din siya)St. Peter: …attorney, sabihin mo nga ang mga pangalan ng

mga nalunod…Yari. Bow.

Joke #4 - Di po IndaySir: Inday, si sir mo ito, nabangga kotse ko and I need cash!Inday: Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?Sir: Tanga, Inday ano bang problema mo, dinudugo na ko sa

ER… Ako ito ang sir mo..(umuubo)Inday: Gago ka rin, eh hende ka se ser ko. Se Ser, tawag

saken…ay kapkeyk.

Joke #5 - Father’s DayEnriquez: oh pre, kamusta ka na. Long time no see, teka bat

balisa ka’t takot na takot. (nakita nya ang kaibigan matapos angilang taon)

Desmondo: Napagalitan ako ng tatay ko.Enriquez: Si Ninong? Eh di ba hobby nya na pagalitan ka. Di

ka pa sanay.Desmondo: Oo…nung buhay pa siya…

Laughter DAW is the BEST Medicine kung

kaya’t nag-compile ng mga select na

‘injoketions’ si JOKER JAMES V.para sa inyo...TUNGHAYAN!

Tunghayan ang kasunod next year, este, next issue po pala ngMETRO TRAIN, este, EXPRESS pala heheh...

[in-jok[in-jok[in-jok[in-jok[in-joke-tions]e-tions]e-tions]e-tions]e-tions] Ni Joker James V.

Bong denies Jodi-Jolo ‘romance’SENATOR Ramon “Bong”

Revilla, Jr. said there is no truthto the report linking his son, JoloRevilla, to actress Jodi Sta.Maria.

“Sinabi sa akin ni Jolo nathere’s nothing between them.Sana ay huwag ng mabigyan pang kulay ng iba,” the senator said.

The older Revilla stressed thatpeople should understand thatSta. Maria is facing a familyproblem.

“May pamilya ‘yong tao. Bakamabigyan pa ng pagkakataon ma-patch up ‘yong problema noongother side. Sayang naman. ‘Yongpagkakaibigan nila, ganoon lang‘yon. Nothing more than that,”the senator said.

In a previous interview, Jolodenied reports saying he and Sta.

televisionseries“Noah” arejust friends.

Sta.Maria hasbeenevadingquestionsabout herand Jolo.She is also keeping her silenceabout her separation fromhusband Pampi Lacson, son ofSenator Panfilo “Ping” Lacson.

Maria went to Hong Kongtogether.

Jolo reiterated that he and hisformer co-star in the now defunct Star Net.

Sen. Bong Revilla Jolo

Jodi

Danita Paner takes boxing lessonsfor TV5’s action-adventure Bangis

Danita Paner

PERFORMER Gabriel Valencianoconfirmed he’s dating Kapuso starIsabel Oli.

In a television interview, the son ofMr. Pure Energy Gary Valencianoshared that he’s going out with theactress.

“We are getting to know more eachother. Of course people know she’sbeautiful but now I’m really, reallygeting to know her and she’s anawesome person.”

When asked if they are officiallydating, Gab’s response was: “I guess

you can say we do goout but that’s prettymuch it.”

Isabel was linked tobasketball star and KrisAquino’s estrangedhusband James Yap.

Isabel denied therumors a couple of timesand said that she’s justfriends with James andthey have lots of friendsin common.

The cager is also saidto be dating internationalacoustic singer Marie

Digby, who confirmed he has constant communication with James.

ACTRESS Danita Paner has taken up boxing les-sons in preparation for her project “Bangis” with TV5.

Danita stars opposite Oyo Sotto in the first prime-time action-adventure series of TV5.

According to Danita, though the series will still haveits romantic angle, the whole story will focus on thestruggles and fights of her character and Oyo’s aswell.

“Ako dito si Maya, isang environmentalist na so-brang mapagmahal sa kalikasan at sa mga hayop.Ako yung tagapagtanggol nila.”

“So far puro fight scenes yung kinukunan pa naminand sa week five and six pa siguro papasok yunglove angle. So kailangan talaga medyo brusko yungcharacter ko sa fight scenes eh.”

The show pushed the singer-turned-actress to takeboxing lessons to give justice to the role of Maya.

“Medyo nahihirapan ako kasi minsa sa screen ehnakikita na may galaw bata parin ako eh. Gusto komagsimula mag boxing lessons para din namanmukhang makakatotohanan talaga yung mga eksenanamin sa series.”

Danita is very excited with the airing of the series,which is slated this July, but also a little nervous know-ing that they will air on primetime block.

“Nakakatuwa kasi mas maraming makakapanoodsa amin pero hindi mo rin maaalis yung pressure dunkasi diba primetime na ito eh. Kung magugustuhannila or matutuwa ba sila.”

She’s also thankful to her mother network for giv-ing her the opportunity to star in one of the biggestproduction of the channel to date, and the opportuni-ty to work with veteran actors.

“Masaya ako kasi wala pa akong one year sa act-ing field eh sobrang ang daming projects na. Ang daming blessings and sana magtuloy-tuloy pa.”

Also part of “Bangis” are Danny Javier, TessieTomas, Bayani Agbayani, Katherine Luna and FelixRoco.

Gab is dating Isabel

Gabriel Valenciano

Isabel Oli

The beautiful 38 year-old supermodel, former Victoria’s SecretAngel, and ‘Project Runway’ creator/host, Heidi Klum, isconfident and comfortable with her nude body. Currently, thewife of singer, Seal, and mom of four, all live together in NewYork City.Heidi recently told PopEater.com, “I love tanning my body and Idon’t like tan lines necessarily.” She feels that women at anyage should be proud to show off their bodies in a bikini, or less.

She explains, “I come from Europe so I’m not American. It is very different here…”The businesswoman has a line of New Balance sneakers and has been running a total of four miles perday. Heidi kept quiet about the upcoming season of ‘Project Runway’, aside from saying that it gets prettyfierce. The 9th season of the hit show premieres on Lifetime July 28th.

HK loves to tan topless