The Weekly Happenings

‘Girl Torments World With Opening of Box’

Girl Torments World With Opening of Box

Pandora, the first woman—mastered by Gods of all kinds—found herself in a predicament earlier this week. She was a creation of many Gods. Zeus bestowed the task upon many Gods to design this unworldly woman: Hephaestus—the god of smiths—to create a beautiful woman made of water and earth; Aphrodite, the flawless goddess of Love, was told to model her body and her features to make sure this new woman was indeed perfect; the Four Winds blew their breathe on her and brought to her, life. Charming, she was made to be. She was to bring mischief and misery to mankind. A reliable source tells us that “Aphrodite adorned her with beauty, grace and desire; Hermes, the Messenger god, gave her cunning and boldness; Demeter showed her how to tend a garden; Athena taught her manual dexterity and to spin; Apollo taught her to sing sweetly and play the lyre; Poseidon's gift was a pearl necklace and the god of the sea promised her that she would never drown” (Thanasis 1).

Foolishness, mischievous, and idleness haunted Pandora. She is woman--a human one. She was indeed lovely, but these flaws that were bestowed upon her vested to be a problem in the long run. Her creation was a gift from Zeus to Epimetheus. His brother, Prometheus, had enraged Zeus by unleashing the secret to fire to the human race. Nevertheless, Zeus gave Pandora to Epimetheus to have and to hold as a wife. Before Pandora was released to the earth for him to have, a ceremony was held with all of the Gods. There, Pandora was given a box from Hermes, the messenger god, with lavish pictures and decorations all over it. A warning came with this beautiful gift: she must NEVER open the box!

In the past few days, all Hell has been broken out on earth. With the opening of this box, she unleashed this horrid curse, this thing that seems to be the utter

demise of mankind. Pandora opened this beautiful box, not thinking of the consequences. She was not told what lay inside the mighty walls of this small prison--just to not open it. We know that she did in the secret of her own house because earth is going

berserk! To the left is a depiction of what investigators believe Pandora looked like while opening the box. Curiosity got the best of her. And now, she will always be remembered as the woman who set forth nastiness on the earth.

The Box Found At The Scene of

Crime

Depiction of Pandora Opening the Box

Do you ever feel clumsy or out of place? Well try this bracelet today!

· The bracelet helps you stay balanced· If you wear the bracelet it immediately takes effect · It is for BOTH men and women· It not only helps with your balance but your gracefulness.

Why be clumsy when you could be graceful? 

Buy Pandora’s Pearls!

-Buy her pearls and have the guarantee of NEVER drowning!-Beauty is associated with these fines gemstones-This string of pearls’ lifetime is never ending-Your intelligence level will increase dramatically-Your creative juices will be flowingIf you buy these pearls, Pandora’s exquisite, elegant, magnificent pearls, you will become a type of person people will be jealous of!

Drink this Juicestafer Juice and hear what happens!!

· You will have the voice of an angel· Singing will come naturally· While singing you will be able to hit notes of any range· Your voice will stay beautiful forever· It is a great fix for manly women that want to sound more

like a womanIf you try Juicestafer Juice today it will take effect within 30 minutes! The voice of an angel is only 30 minutes away! But it today and your life will be changed forever more!

Dear Aphrodite…Dear Aphrodite,

Last week I lost my husband to Shingles. I am so upset!!! I wish I knew how to keep my life moving even though he is now gone. I have four kids to take care of. They need me; they need their mother. What should I do??

Sincerely,

A Concerned Human Reader

_____________________________________________________________

Dear Concerned Human Reader,

This is fate. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe you and him… you both were just not meant to be. You may not want to be reading

this right now, but it’s the truth. Things will be hard; you’re going tohave to work hard for what you want. You must get what you

deserve—nothing more, nothing less. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors of life and wherever this life takes you.

Always,

Aphrodite

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