1

Marriage Preparation Guidelines

Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church Land O’ Lakes, Florida

2

Contents ...............................................................................................................2

Welcome...............................................................................................................3

Essential Rights and Obligations of Marriage ....................................................4

Marriage Preparation Program............................................................................5

Fees......................................................................................................................7

Required Documents ...........................................................................................8

Planning Your Wedding Liturgy...........................................................................9

Wedding Liturgy Committee ..............................................................................10

Music Liturgy Director ........................................................................................11

Church Environment Décor ...............................................................................12

Wedding Liturgy Celebration Option.................................................................13

The Wedding Rehearsal....................................................................................15

The Wedding Day ..............................................................................................16

Conclusion..........................................................................................................18

Photography and Videography Guidelines.......................................................19

Marriage Preparation Check List ..........................................................20

Contents

3

Our Lady of the Rosary faith community congratulates you on your engagement and offers its prayers and support as you begin the journey toward the Rite of Marriage.

Preparation for marriage is a time of discovery and enrichment. A time to edu-cate and affirm your basic foundation and understanding of the commitment and promise that you, as a couple, are making as you prepare for the Sacra-ment of Marriage.

Marriage is a serious and sacred commitment that calls a man and a woman to each other in a most profound and permanent way. Christian marriage calls a couple to become a visible sign of Christ’s unconditional and faithful love. It demands a living faith on the part of the couple and the awareness that they are entering into a covenant not only with each other, but also with God.

Through the Sacrament of Matrimony, Christian spouses are called to see Christ in each other and to be Christ for each other. As a couple, you are called to be living symbols of God’s tender love and mercy. To love uncondi-tionally, forgive without reservation and to endure whatever hardships come your way. Therefore, the Church invites you, as a couple, to prepare your-selves spiritually for marriage by daily prayer, regular attendance at Mass, and frequent reception of the Sacraments of Eucharist and Reconciliation.

Marriage is not something to be undertaken lightly or hurriedly. The Marriage Preparation program at Our Lady of the Rosary begins at least six months prior to your planned wedding date and prior to making any commitments with recep-tion venues, caterers etc. In order to allow sufficient time to complete these three phases of your Marriage Preparation, it is necessary for a couple begin the assessment phase as soon as a decision to marry (formal engagement) has been made and at least six months prior to the anticipated date of your wedding

In this spirit, Our Lady of the Rosary provides the following information to help you on this journey.

Welcome

4

In a marriage, each party enters into the relationship with expectations that both have the capacity to fulfill and honor the terms of a marriage contract. There is both a giving and receiving aspect and without this element there is no mar-riage contract. However, a marriage is much more than ‘just a contract’. It is an oath given freely to each other and God and witnessed by at least two oth-ers. It is a total self giving of one to the other, with no strings attached. It is this self giving that moves the marriage contract to a covenant or promise between the couple and God.

The engagement and marriage preparation process is a time of prayerful dis-cernment and an opportunity to examine your relationship. Each couple is asked to examine their intentions and capacity to fulfill the rights and obliga-tions of marriage: �� Partnership of the Whole of Life - includes all aspects of your relation-

ship and life together. �� Sexual Acts Appropriate for the Generation of Children - every sexual

act is about love and life. Children are a gift of our love. �� Fidelity - each partner will be faithful to one another. �� Permanence - committed to one another for a life time.

Formula for a Successful Relationship When time and positive interaction is invested into a relationship the relation-ship grows and each is fulfilled. However, if left unattended or the interaction is negative, the relationship will drift apart and one or both of the parties will seek fulfillment elsewhere. Therefore, it stands as a law of nature any and all rela-tionships will be successful, if the following formula is followed:

Time + Positive Interaction (energy) = Relationship

Essential Rights and Obligations of Marriage

5

The “Joined in Christ” Marriage Preparation Program at Lady of the Rosary consists of three phases: an Assessment phrase, an Enrichment phrase and the Planning of Your Wedding Liturgy phrase. A wedding date will not be confirmed until the assessment phrase is completed.

Couples preparing for this Sacrament are required to show weekly atten-dance for a minimum of six months between the time you begin the “Joined in Christ” Marriage Preparation Program and your wedding date. During this preparation period, you must show active participation in the parish by use of our envelope system.

In order to allow sufficient time to complete these three phases of your Mar-riage Preparation, it is necessary for a couple to begin the assessment phase by attending the sessions ‘Marriage as Contract and Covenant’ (part 1) and Marriage: Moving from Covenant to Sacrament’ (part 2) , presented by one of the parish priest or deacons, as soon as a decision to marry (formal engage-ment) has been made and at least six months prior to the anticipated date of your wedding. During this session, you will receive an explanation of the rights and obligations of marriage and guidance on how to prepare spiritually for your married life together.

The Assessment process continues with an interview with any one of the parish priest or deacons. During this interview, diocesan papers are completed to obtain basic information regarding your freedom to marry in the church. Dis-cussion of a tentative wedding date may take place during this meeting.

Following this meeting, you will participate in a premarital inventory (PMI), a tool used to determine your strengths and weaknesses as a couple, so that an enrichment program can be recommended to meet your specific needs. After the successful completion of the premarital inventory (PMI) and receipt of all required documents (Baptismal Certificates, Witness Testimony B forms and all parish fees are paid in full), a wedding date can be finalized and recorded on the parish calendar.

The Enrichment phase which consists of a series of nine sessions, each facili-tated by a different couple, in their home. is designed to help you grow in your appreciation of the essential human and Christian aspects of marriage. The sessions include reflection on the nature and sacramentality of marriage, com-munication within marriage, married love and family life, the impact of family backgrounds, couple prayer, marital responsibilities, personal

Marriage Preparation Program

6

expectations, natural family planning and the impact of financial decisions in your relationship and marriage.

Your cooperation in attending the marriage preparation sessions, keeping ap-pointments, obtaining the necessary papers, and being on time is appreciated. Days and weeks go by quickly. Delays in the beginning often cause unneces-sary anxiety as your wedding day draws near.

All of the following sessions must be attended, as a couple, and scheduled by you at a time that is convenient for you and the Marriage Preparation Team Couple. All sessions are to completed six (6) weeks prior to the date of your wedding.

Session I “Building Your Marriage on a Sound Foundation” Session Il “The Two Will Become One” Session Ill “Establishing Emotional and Sexual Intimacy” Session lV “A New Family Circle” Session V “Dealing With Conflict” Session Vl “Facing Change and Keeping Your Foundation” Session VIl “Financial Planning” Session Vlll “The Art of Natural Family Planning” Session lX “Planning your Wedding Liturgy”

The third phase of the Marriage Preparation Program at Our Lady of the Rosary is the Planning of your Wedding Liturgy. Because the Sacrament of Matrimony is an act of public worship, people attending your wedding liturgy (friends and family) are more than just ‘guests’. They are called to pray, sing and to witness the exchange of your vows during the Rite of Marriage. You will be assisted with all facets of the wedding ceremony including appropriate readings from the Scriptures, music and other options in accord with the spirit and sanctity of the Sacrament of Matrimony. During this phase, you will meet with the Wedding Liturgy Coordinator, to finalize your reading selections; discuss options to include in your ceremony; review the logistics of your celebration, and discuss appropriate content of your program. If a program is used, it must be reviewed and approved by the Wedding Liturgy Committee prior to your rehearsal date. You will also meet with the Music Director, to review and select the appropri-ate music for your ceremony.

Wedding celebrations at Our Lady of the Rosary are scheduled in accordance with the couple’s wishes and subject to the availability of the church. Weddings are scheduled at 11:00 am or 2:00 pm on Saturdays; however, they can also be celebrated on other days of the week. Marriages cannot be celebrated on Sun-days, Holy days, Holy Week and other special days.

7

The following fees helps defray the costs of marriage preparation materials, administrative service, utilities and other expenses incurred by the parish in the processing of documents required by the Diocese of St. Petersburg.

$600.00 - Total Cost to be married at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church. $425.00 – For those couples wishing to be married at Our Lady of the

Rosary, this fee is due at the time the couple meets with the Mar-riage Preparation Coordinator. Checks should be made payable to Our Lady of the Rosary. Should the wedding be cancelled, a refund in the amount of $150.00 will be returned by check to the payee.

$175.00 – Services of the Music Director and Cantor at your wedding liturgy. The costs of outside soloists, extra music rehearsals, addi-tional musicians and/or requests for special musical arrangements are in addition to this fee. The fee is payable to the Music Director at the time the couple meets to plan the music for their wedding liturgy.

$295.00 - Marriage Preparation at Our Lady of the Rosary Church for couples celebrating their marriage at another Catholic church.

After the successful completion of the assessment phase and all parish fees are paid in full, a wedding date can be finalized and recorded on the par-ish calendar or written notification/notice sent to another Catholic church. Registered parishioner(s), experiencing financial hardships, should contact the Pastor.

Fees

8

The following documents are required prior to starting the Enrichment Phase:

�� Catholics must provide a recently dated (issued within the last six months) Baptismal Certificate with Notation. This can be obtained by written request or by phone from the church of your baptism.

�� Baptized non-Catholics need only provide a copy of their Baptismal

Certificate. �� For those previously married, a copy of your Declaration of Nullity

Decree for all prior marriages or provide a copy of the deceased Cer-tificate of Death.

�� Letter of permission from parish where Catholic party is registered, if

marrying outside of your parish (if applicable).

Required Documents

9

The third phase of the Marriage Preparation Program at Our Lady of the Rosary is the ‘Planning Your Wedding Liturgy’. During Session 9, each couple will meet with the Wedding Liturgy Coordinator who will assist and answer ques-tions with all facets of the wedding ceremony, wedding liturgy celebration op-tions listed on page 12 and 13 of this booklet and finalize ceremony logistics. All couples will review the following during this session: �� “Together for Life” – contains the various scripture readings options to

personalize your wedding liturgy. �� “Wedding Rehearsal Worksheet” – details the logistics of your celebra-

tion, discuss appropriate decorum and the order of entrance the day of your wedding.

�� “Wedding Program” - if applicable, will be reviewed for accuracy and

content. Sample formats and styles are available during this session. Session 9 – ‘Planning your Wedding Liturgy’ is the last session in the “Joined in Christ” Marriage Preparation Program and should be completed approximately 12 weeks prior to your wedding date and before you meet with the Music Direc-tor.

Planning Your Wedding Liturgy

10

Wedding Liturgy Committee

Members of this committee work in Teams to assist couples celebrating their wedding liturgy at Our Lady of the Rosary by conducting the wedding rehearsal, assisting with your church environment décor, greet family and guests before the ceremony, coordinate the entrance procession the day of the wedding and make sure the ceremony logistics proceed smoothly and on time.

.

11

The wedding liturgy is unique and the music for it should suit its unique role in the liturgy celebration. Sacred music is a form of prayer, therefore the words ought to be directed from man to God and not from man to man and not taken from outright secular sources of entertainment. All songs or hymns should be religious in nature.

In guidelines issued by the United States Bishops’ Committee on the liturgy (1982), it states that music “should be considered a normal and ordinary part of the liturgical celebration”. Music fosters a spirit of prayer and celebration, and strengthens the expression of faith. Singing is one of the best ways to do this. Hence, the use of only instrumental music or a soloist is discouraged.

If you are celebrating your wedding at Our Lady of the Rosary, music must be planned through the parish Music Director. You should contact the Music Di-rector at least 2 months before your wedding date and prior to communicat-ing with any other musicians (i.e. vocalist or other instrumentalists).

You may choose to enhance your wedding music by employing other musicians such as trumpeters, vocalists, string trios or quartets. These musicians will not replace our cantor and/or Music Director at your wedding celebration. Fees for additional vocalists and/or instrumentalist are to be arranged independently. Do not hesitate to contact the Music Director to assist you in contacting addi-tional instrumentalist.

Music Liturgy Director

12

The sanctuary space at Our Lady of the Rosary can accommodate up to three floral arrangements around the altar area. However, a single arrangement placed on the floor in the front of the altar is sufficient. Floral arrangements should be no larger than 3 ½ feet wide and no taller than 2 ½ feet high; and should allow for free movement around the altar. Floral arrangements are not permitted on the altar. Note: Should you plan your wedding during a special liturgical season, such as Advent, Christmas, Lent, and Easter, the church and chapel sanctuaries are enhanced with seasonal arrangements, which cannot be altered or removed.

Floral or bows are permitted on the end chair of each row along the main aisle. Please advise your florist that nothing may be taped or pinned to the chairs. Your florist will be able to suggest an alternate method. For your reference, there are 8 rows of chairs down each side of the center aisle of the church and four rows of chairs on each side of the center aisle in the chapel.

Aisle runners and candelabra’s are not permitted in the church or chapel.

Throwing of rice, rose petals or birdseed is strictly prohibited on Church prop-erty for insurance purposes. Please advise your guests.

All decorations must be removed from the church or chapel immediately follow-ing the ceremony. Please make arrangements with a family member or friend prior to the day of your wedding. Altar floral arrangements may be left behind as a visual reminder to the faith community that a member of Our Lady of the Rosary has celebrated the Sacrament of Matrimony.

Receiving lines and the signing of a guest book are better suited at your recep-tion site.

Church Environment - Décor

13

A crucifix, typically a gift from the parents, is used at the exchange of vows. During the exchange of the vows, the bride places her right hand on the crucifix and the groom places his right hand over hers, while they pronounce their promise to love one another for the whole of life and that they will be true and faithful to one another not only in the good times, but the difficulty and pain. Before kissing each other, the couple kisses the cross as a reminder that if one abandons the other, they abandon Christ.

The crucifix is hung in the home in a place of honor. It becomes the reference point of the couple’s lives and a place of family prayer.

The presentation of a special bouquet of flowers at the foot of the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary is an established Catholic tradition. The flowers are pre-sented as an offering of love for the Mother of God. During the presentation, the bride and groom ask Mary in prayer to pray for their marriage, and that their children lead holy and happy lives.

A shortened version of the Ave Maria is often played or sung at this time.

The flame of the wedding candle symbolizes the light of Christ who is ever pre-sent in our lives. After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple light the individual candles (tapers) together from the center wedding candle. This sim-ple action is a visual symbol of the now newly married couple together drawing their oneness from Christ. The three flames symbolize their unity and new life, centered in Christ

Wedding Liturgy Celebration Options

14

.

Two candles (taper) represent the gift of faith that each family has given and nurtured in the couple throughout their life. After the exchange of vows and rings, the couple, in a unified action, light the center ‘wedding candle’ and extin-guish the individual candles. The extinguishing of the individual candles sym-bolizes that the couple are no longer two but one in faith. Our Lady of the Rosary provides a wedding/unity candle stand. The stand ac-commodates one large (round) pillar type candle and two tapered candles.

The tradition of the Lazzo or Wedding Rosary is prominent in the Hispanic and some Asian cultures. This wedding rosary is used to symbolize the unification of the couple through prayer. The traditional belief is if the couple prays the rosary together every night their marr iage wil l endure.

The wedding rosary is actually two individual and complete rosaries which meet and become one before the crucifix. It is placed by the priest over the couple after the exchanged of vows and usually as the couple kneels to receive com-munion.

The Arras is a small box containing thirteen either gold or silver coins. The thir-teen coins represent Christ and His twelve Apostles. The groom presents the Arras to the bride after the vows have been exchanged as a symbol of his readiness to provide financial support in their married life. This also signifies good financial stewardship of the household. When the groom gives the coins to the bride, she promises to use them wisely.

15

Your rehearsal date and time will be scheduled when your wedding date and time have been confirmed and added to the parish calendar of events. The importance of the celebration of your wedding liturgy calls for the wedding re-hearsal to be a time of prayer, reflection, and final preparation.

The rehearsal allows members of the wedding party to become familiar with the environment and the roles they will assume as part of the wedding liturgy. Wedding rehearsals at Our Lady of the Rosary are limited to a maximum of one hour. It is expected that all those in the wedding party will be present, appro-priately dressed and ON TIME!

Please help us maintain the reverence and dignity of the church by informing members of your wedding party to dress appropriately for the wedding re-hearsal. Couples should also remind their wedding party participants to refrain from the consumption of any alcoholic beverages prior to the rehearsal and to conduct themselves in a respectful manner for a place of worship. Please bring to the wedding rehearsal the following:

�� State of Florida Marriage License.

�� Completed copy of your Liturgy Planning Worksheet.

�� Completed ‘Selections’ worksheet found in the back of your “Together for Life” booklet.

�� Completed copy of your Music Ministry Worksheet.

�� Wedding Programs, if applicable, require prior approval by Wedding Lit-

urgy Coordinator.

�� Wedding candle and tapers, if applicable.

The Wedding Rehearsal

16

The Wedding Day

All participants, in your wedding celebration, should arrive at the church one hour prior to the start of your ceremony so that the wedding can start on time. Please refrain from the consumption of any alcoholic beverages before the wedding. If your wedding starts late, it may be necessary to cut some music or other ele-ments from your ceremony to make up for lost time. Remember, there may be another service or wedding following yours. If your ceremony begins late, you may have to forgo formal pictures in the church after the ceremony, so as not to conflict with other scheduled services.

Because of the limited space available in the sanctuary area at Our Lady of the Rosary, it is recommended that you limit your wedding party attendants to a maximum total of 14 attendants (7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen), exclusive of the ring bearer and flower girl.

For weddings celebrated in the chapel, the maximum number of attendants is 6 (3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen), exclusive of the ring bearer and flower girl. Care should be taken in choosing young children for the wedding party. It is our experience that children five and older are best suited for these roles.

Flower girls may not drop petals, either real or silk, during the procession or recessional.

17

The Liturgy of the Eucharistic will not be celebrated if the bride, groom or any of the wedding party is dressed inappropriately.

Proper attire for the bride and bridesmaids are gowns/dresses that fall below the knees and cover the shoulders and upper arms. Plunging necklines and sexually provocative gowns are inappropriate. A bridal veil is optional. Proper attire for the groom and groomsmen is coat and tie, tuxedo or military uniform.

A Bride’s Room is provided as courtesy for the bride and her attendants prior to the start of the ceremony. No food, drink, or smoking is permitted in the bride’s room or in the church. Our Lady of the Rosary is not responsible for items left in the bride’s room before, during or after the ceremony. Please assign some-one to safeguard your valuables (purses, gifts, etc.). This room is to be left clean and in good order before you leave the church at the conclusion of your ceremony. Please make arrangements to have a family member or friend re-sponsible for the pick-up of all items before leaving the church. .

18

The priests, deacons and pastoral staff at Our Lady of the Rosary are here to serve you as you prepare for the celebration of your marriage. Please do not hesitate to call us. We are happy to answer any questions you may have. Take some quiet time together – a time for sharing. Praying together opens up a new and deeper level of sharing, consciously bringing the Lord into your love, being open to His Word and making yourselves available to His will. Worshipping with each other on Sundays is a sign of your priorities. A mar-riage, that is to last for life demands love and loyalty, God’s grace and peace.

God Bless You!

Conclusion

19

Our Lady of the Rosary welcomes all Photographers and Videographer to par-ticipate in creating a memorable wedding day for our brides and grooms. To help ensure this, we ask you to comply with the following guidelines. These guidelines are not intended to impede your professional service but to maintain a prayerful experience during the liturgy and exchange of vows for both the couple and their family and friends. �� Photographs and video may be taken prior to the start of the ceremony, but

may not interfere with the timely commencement of the wedding. �� Absolutely NO FLASH photography during the Ceremony Proper. The

Ceremony Proper is defined as the moment the couple enters the sanctuary (the altar area) until they leave the sanctuary as husband and wife.

�� Only available light is permitted. Flash may be used during the processional and recessional and after the celebration for formal photographs. No um-brellas or other extraordinary lighting equipment or backdrops are permitted.

�� During the ceremony, there is to be no unnecessary movement which would distract from the sacred and solemn nature of the wedding ceremony.

�� Neither photographers nor mounted video cameras are permitted in the sanctuary area, nor may either do anything that would make them visible to the congregation during the ceremony.

�� Photographs may be taken from the side and rear of the church without obstructing the view of the wedding guests. Video cameras must remain stationary.

�� No inappropriate photographs (i.e. bride lying on the altar) are permitted. �� Photographers and Videographer and their assistants are to dress appropri-

ately for a place of worship. �� There will be approximately 30 minutes after the ceremony for formal photo-

graphs. Note: this time will be shortened in proportion to the amount of time the wedding is delayed in starting.

�� All photography must be completed by 3:30 p.m. on Saturdays, so that am-ple time can be given to the preparation of the Saturday Evening Vigil Mass.

Photography and Videography Guidelines

20

Marriage Preparation Check List

ASSESSMENT PHASE Includes: ____ ‘Marriage as Contract and Covenant’ - Part 1 ____ Marriage: ‘Moving from Covenant into Sacrament’ - Part 2 ____ Schedule Marital Inventory Profile ____ Schedule ENRICHMENT PHASE meeting ____ Interview with Priest or Deacon NOTE: A wedding date will not be confirmed nor will a letter of permission to marry outside of the parish, until the Assessment Phase has been completed and all applicable documents below have been received. The following documents are required prior to scheduling the ENRICHMENT PHASE meeting: ___ Baptismal Certificates (Dated within the last six months) ___ Bride ___ Groom (Call church where you were baptized and request copy with Notations) ___ Witness Testimony (Form B) – (2) each with Notarized Signatures ___ Bride ___ Groom ____ Stipend and Fees – refer to your ‘Joined in Christ’ Marriage Preparation Guideline Booklet under the Section “FEES” If you are preparing to have your civil marriage ‘blessed’ in the church, copies of all annulment decrees and a copy of your civil marriage license. If this is a second marriage, copies of all annulment decrees and/or marriage license and death certificates are required.

21

February, 2014

Notes: