MarriageIsaPrivateAffair ChinuaAchebe

Haveyouwrittentoyourdadyet?askedNene1oneafternoonasshesatwithNnaemekainherroomat16KasangaStreet,Lagos.

No.Ivebeenthinkingaboutit.IthinkitsbettertotellhimwhenIgethomeonleave!

Butwhy?Yourleaveissuchalongwayoffyetsixwholeweeks.Heshouldbeletintoourhappinessnow.

Nnaemekawassilentforawhile,andthenbeganveryslowlyasifhegropedforhiswords:IwishIweresureitwouldbehappinesstohim.

Ofcourseitmust,repliedNene,alittlesurprised.Whyshouldntit?

YouhavelivedinLagosallyourlife,andyouknowverylittleaboutpeopleinremotepartsofthecountry.

Thatswhatyoualwayssay.ButIdontbelieveanybodywillbesounlikeotherpeoplethattheywillbeunhappywhentheirsonsareengagedtomarry.

Yes.Theyaremostunhappyiftheengagementisnotarrangedbythem.InourcaseitsworseyouarenotevenanIbo.

ThiswassaidsoseriouslyandsobluntlythatNenecouldnotfindspeechimmediately.Inthecosmopolitanatmosphereofthecityithadalwaysseemedtohersomethingofajokethatapersonstribecoulddeterminewhomhemarried.

Atlastshesaid,Youdontreallymeanthathewillobjecttoyourmarryingmesimplyonthataccount?IhadalwaysthoughtyouIboswerekindlydisposedtootherpeople.

Soweare.Butwhenitcomestomarriage,well,itsnotquitesosimple.Andthis,headded,isnotpeculiartotheIbos.IfyourfatherwerealiveandlivedintheheartofIbibiolandhewouldbeexactlylikemyfather.

Idontknow.Butanyway,asyourfatherissofondofyou,Imsurehewillforgiveyousoonenough.Comeonthen,beagoodboyandsendhimanicelovelyletter...

Itwouldnotbewisetobreakthenewstohimbywriting.Aletterwillbringituponhimwithashock.Imquitesureaboutthat.

Allright,honey,suityourself.Youknowyourfather.

AsNnaemekawalkedhomethateveningheturnedoverinhisminddifferentwaysofovercominghisfathersopposition,especiallynowthathehadgoneandfoundagirlfor

him.HehadthoughtofshowinghislettertoNenebutdecidedonsecondthoughtsnotto,atleastforthemoment.Hereaditagainwhenhegothomeandcouldnthelpsmilingtohimself.HerememberedUgoyequitewell,anAmazonofagirlwhousedtobeatupalltheboys,himselfincluded,onthewaytothestream,acompletedunceatschool.

IhavefoundagirlwhowillsuityouadmirablyUgoyeNweke,theeldestdaughterofourneighbor,JacobNweke.ShehasaproperChristianupbringing.Whenshestoppedschoolingsomeyearsagoherfather(amanofsoundjudgment)senthertoliveinthehouseofapastorwhereshehasreceivedallthetrainingawifecouldneed.HerSundayschoolteacherhastoldmethatshereadsherBibleveryfluently.IhopeweshallbeginnegotiationswhenyoucomehomeinDecember.

OnthesecondeveningofhisreturnfromLagos,Nnaemekasatwithhisfatherunderacassiatree.ThiswastheoldmansretreatwherehewenttoreadhisBiblewhentheparchingDecembersunhadsetandafresh,revivingwindblewontheleaves.

Father,beganNnaemekasuddenly,Ihavecometoaskforforgiveness.

Forgiveness?Forwhat,my son?heaskedinamazement.

Itsaboutthismarriagequestion.

Whichmarriagequestion?

IcantwemustImeanitisimpossibleformetomarryNwekesdaughter.

Impossible?Why?askedhisfather.

Idontloveher.

Nobodysaidyoudid.Whyshouldyou?heasked.

Marriagetodayisdifferent...

Lookhere,myson,interruptedhisfather,nothingisdifferent.WhatonelooksforinawifeareagoodcharacterandaChristianbackground.

Nnaemekasawtherewasnohopealongthepresentlineofargument.

Moreover,hesaid,IamengagedtomarryanothergirlwhohasallofUgoyesgoodqualities,andwho...

Hisfatherdidnotbelievehisears.Whatdidyousay?heaskedslowlyanddisconcertingly.

SheisagoodChristian,hissonwenton,andateacherinagirlsschoolinLagos.

Teacher,didyousay?IfyouconsiderthataqualificationforagoodwifeIshouldliketopointouttoyou,Emeka,thatnoChristianwomanshouldteach.St.PaulinhislettertotheCorinthianssaysthatwomenshouldkeepsilence.Heroseslowlyfromhisseatandpacedforwardandbackward.Thiswashispetsubject,andhecondemnedvehementlythosechurchleaderswhoencouragedwomentoteachintheirschools.Afterhehadspenthisemotiononalonghomilyheatlastcamebacktohissonsengagement,inaseeminglymildertone.

Whosedaughterisshe,anyway?

SheisNeneAtang.

What!Allthemildnesswasgoneagain.DidyousayNeneataga,whatdoesthatmean?

NeneAtangfrom Calabar.SheistheonlygirlIcanmarry.ThiswasaveryrashreplyandNnaemekaexpectedthestormtoburst.Butitdidnot.Hisfathermerelywalkedawayintohisroom.ThiswasmostunexpectedandperplexedNnaemeka.Hisfatherssilencewasinfinitelymoremenacingthanafloodofthreateningspeech.Thatnighttheoldmandidnoteat.

WhenhesentforNnaemekaadaylaterheappliedallpossiblewaysofdissuasion.Buttheyoungmansheartwashardened,andhisfathereventuallygavehimupaslost.

Ioweittoyou,myson,asadutytoshowyouwhatisrightandwhatiswrong.Whoeverputthisideaintoyourheadmightaswellhavecutyourthroat.ItisSatanswork.Hewavedhissonaway.

Youwillchangeyourmind,Father,whenyouknowNene.

Ishallneverseeher,wasthereply.Fromthatnightthefatherscarcelyspoketohisson.Hedidnot,however,ceasehopingthathewouldrealizehowseriouswasthedangerhewasheadingfor.Dayandnightheputhiminhisprayers.

Nnaemeka,forhisownpart,wasverydeeplyaffectedbyhisfathersgrief.Buthekepthopingthatitwouldpassaway.Ifithadoccurredtohimthatneverinthehistoryofhispeoplehadamanmarriedawomanwhospokeadifferenttongue,hemighthavebeenlessoptimistic.Ithasneverbeenheard,wastheverdictofanoldmanspeakingafewweekslater.Inthatshortsentencehespokeforallofhispeople.ThismanhadcomewithotherstocommiseratewithOkekewhennewswentroundabouthissonsbehavior.BythattimethesonhadgonebacktoLagos.

Ithasneverbeenheard,saidtheoldmanagainwithasadshakeofhishead.

WhatdidOurLordsay?askedanothergentleman.SonsshallriseagainsttheirFathersitisthereintheHolyBook.

Itisthebeginningoftheend,saidanother.

Thediscussionthustendingtobecometheological,Madubogwu,ahighlypracticalman,broughtitdownoncemoretotheordinarylevel.

Haveyouthoughtofconsultinganativedoctoraboutyourson?heaskedNnaemekasfather.

Heisntsick,wasthereply.

Whatishethen?Theboysmindisdiseasedandonlyagoodherbalistcanbringhimbacktohisrightsenses.ThemedicineherequiresisAmalile,thesamethatwomenapplywithsuccesstorecapturetheirhusbandsstrayingaffection.

Madubogwuisright,saidanothergentleman.Thisthingcallsformedicine.

Ishallnotcallinanativedoctor.Nnaemekasfatherwasknowntobeobstinatelyaheadofhismoresuperstitiousneighborsinthesematters.IwillnotbeanotherMrs.Ochuba.Ifmysonwantstokillhimselflethimdoitwithhisownhands.Itisnotformetohelphim.

Butitwasherfault,saidMadubogwu.Sheoughttohavegonetoanhonestherbalist.Shewasacleverwoman,nevertheless.

Shewasawickedmurderess,saidOkeke,whorarelyarguedwithhisneighborsbecause,heoftensaid,theywereincapableofreasoning.Themedicinewaspreparedforherhusband,itwashisnametheycalledinitspreparation,andIamsureitwouldhavebeenperfectlybeneficialtohim.Itwaswickedtoputitintotheherbalistsfood,andsayyouwereonlytryingitout.

Sixmonthslater,Nnaemekawasshowinghisyoungwifeashortletterfromhisfather:

Itamazesmethatyoucouldbesounfeelingastosendmeyourweddingpicture.Iwouldhavesentitback.ButonfurtherthoughtIdecidedjusttocutoffyourwifeandsenditbacktoyoubecauseIhavenothingtodowithher.HowIwishthatIhadnothingtodowithyoueither.

WhenNenereadthroughthisletterandlookedatthemutilatedpicturehereyesfilledwithtears,andshebegantosob.

Dontcry,mydarling,saidherhusband.Heisessentiallygoodnaturedandwillonedaylookmorekindlyonourmarriage.

Butyearspassedandthatonedaydidnotcome.

Foreightyears,Okekewouldhavenothingtodowithhisson,Nnaemeka.Onlythreetimes(whenNnaemekaaskedtocomehomeandspendhisleave)didhewritetohim.

Icanthaveyouinmyhouse,herepliedononeoccasion.Itcanbeofnointeresttomewhereorhowyouspendyourleaveoryourlife,forthatmatter.

TheprejudiceagainstNnaemekasmarriagewasnotconfinedtohislittlevillage.InLagos,especiallyamonghispeoplewhoworkedthere,itshoweditselfinadifferentway.Theirwomen,whentheymetattheirvillagemeeting,werenothostiletoNene.Rather,theypaidhersuchexcessivedeferenceastomakeherfeelshewasnotoneofthem.Butastimewenton,Nenegraduallybrokethroughsomeofthisprejudiceandevenbegantomakefriendsamongthem.Slowlyandgrudginglytheybegantoadmitthatshekeptherhomemuchbetterthanmostofthem.

ThestoryeventuallygottothelittlevillageintheheartoftheIbocountrythatNnaemekaandhisyoungwifewereamosthappycouple.Buthisfatherwasoneofthefewpeopleinthevillagewhoknewnothingaboutthis.Healwaysdisplayedsomuchtemperwheneverhissonsnamewasmentionedthateveryoneavoideditinhispresence.Byatremendouseffortofwillhehadsucceededinpushinghissontothebackofhismind.Thestrainhadnearlykilledhimbuthehadpersevered,andwon.

ThenonedayhereceivedaletterfromNene,andinspiteofhimselfhebegantoglancethroughitperfunctorilyuntilallofasuddentheexpressiononhisfacechangedandhebegantoreadmorecarefully.

...Ourtwosons,fromthedaytheylearntthattheyhaveagrandfather,haveinsistedonbeingtakentohim.Ifinditimpossibletotellthemthatyouwillnotseethem.IimploreyoutoallowNnaemekatobringthemhomeforashorttimeduringhisleavenextmonth.IshallremainhereinLagos...

Theoldmanatoncefelttheresolutionhehadbuiltupoversomanyyearsfallingin.Hewastellinghimselfthathemustnotgivein.Hetriedtosteelhisheartagainstallemotionalappeals.Itwasareenactmentofthatotherstruggle.Heleanedagainstawindowandlookedout.Theskywasovercastwithheavyblackcloudsandahighwindbegantoblow,fillingtheairwithdustanddryleaves.ItwasoneofthoserareoccasionswhenevenNaturetakesahandinahumanfight.Verysoonitbegantorain,thefirstrainintheyear.Itcamedowninlargesharpdropsandwasaccompaniedbythelightningandthunderwhichmarkachangeofseason.Okekewastryinghardnottothinkofhistwograndsons.Butheknewhewasnowfightingalosingbattle.Hetriedtohumafavoritehymnbutthepatteringoflargeraindropsontheroofbrokeupthetune.Hismindimmediatelyreturnedtothechildren.Howcouldheshuthisdooragainstthem?Byacuriousmentalprocessheimaginedthemstanding,sadandforsaken,undertheharshangryweathershutoutfromhishouse.

Thatnighthehardlyslept,fromremorseandavaguefearthathemightdiewithoutmakingituptothem.

Questions:MarriageisaPrivateAffairChinuaAchebe

1. MarriageisaPrivateAffairisastoryabouttheclashbetweentraditionalAfricanandmodernWesternvalues.Explain,givingexamplesfromthestorytosupportyouranswer.

2. WhatkindofmanisOkeke?Describehimindetail.

3. WhatkindofwomanisNene?Describeherindetail.

4. Add1 2pagestotheendofthestory.BeastruetoAchebesstyleasyoucan.TrytotakethestoryinthedirectionyouimagineAchebewouldhavechosen.