male/female communication. common communication stereotypes?

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Male/Female Communicatio n

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Male/Female Communicati

on

Common communication stereotypes?

Sh*t We Say

Sh*t Guys Say

Sh*t Girls Say

Childhood study

Group-oriented

•Teamwork = strong group of friends

Individual oriented

•One-on-one talking (one or two best friends)

BOYS GIRLS

Gesture and Movement

As early as preschool, girls and boys exhibit body movements and gestures of their biological sex

Greater display of dominant gestures from males and a greater display of acquiescing gestures by females

Non-verbal communication

•Avoid direct eye-contact•Are still listening, although

they may not look directly at you•Misinterpret direct eye-

contact as confrontational or flirtatious

•Direct, face-to-face gaze•Used to focus on

connection•Misinterpret no eye-

contact as a sign of not listening

MEN WOMEN

Preening Behavior

Stroking one’s hair Fixing makeup Fixing clothes Looking in a mirror Leaving buttons open on shirts or

blouses Adjusting suit coats Pulling up socks Adjusting a tie

Actions of Appeal or Invitation

Cues such as rolling the pelvis, casting flirtatious glances, holding another’s gaze, crossing a leg to expose one’s thigh, showing one’s wrist or palm, and flexing muscles

Communication styles

Power relations Hierarchical Power based Direct Expressing concepts More frequent

interruptions

Solidarity Consensus-based Inclusion, sharing Indirect Expressive feelings Active listening

MEN WOMEN

Men communicate to establish social hierarchies

Women communicate to establish support circles

REPORT TALK RAPPORT TALK

Conversation Rituals

OPPOSITION

boys “play fight” playing Devil’s Advocate•used NOT to challenge but

rather to explore possibilities

Women misinterpret oppostion as:

indication of bad idea or mistake

personal attack

APOLOGY

“I’m not sorry I’m sorry”•means I’m sorry that

happened NOT a personal apology used as a transition in

conversation

Men misinterpret apology as:

disorganization incompetence

Conversation Rituals

MEN

use playful insults and teasing

related to the status dimension

WOMEN

use compliments related to the

connection dimension

How does this play out in life?

Masterminds & Wingmen

Aggression

Men: Physical Women: Verbal

Mixed results

Men exceed women in physical aggression expressed toward same-sex peers and are slightly more verbally aggressive than women.

How does this play out @ the office?

Leadership assumptions

Evolutionary Psychology

Leadership is inherent in the male psyche

Has nature endowed men (more than women) with aggressive, competitive, controlling and status-seeking qualities?

Plausibility?

Lacking evidence of patriarchy in “simpler” societies calls many evolutionary psychology claims into question.

Big 5

Openness to experience Conscientiousness Extraversion Agreeableness Neuroticism

Predictors of EFFECTIVE leadership

Conscientiousness

Extraversion

•Male leaders could gain from more emphasis on the feminine aspects: warmth•Female leaders could gain from more

emphasis on the masculine aspects: assertiveness

The “Double Bind” for Women

Expectations for how an authority figure should speak is based upon men in authority.

If a woman is direct (masculine) she appears pushy or bossy.

If woman is indirect (feminine) she appears incompetent.

Queen Bee Syndrome

Study from 1974

Women who achieved success in male-dominated environments were at times likely to oppose the rise of other women.

Today

Far from nurturing the growth of younger female talent, they push aside possible competitors by chipping away at their self-confidence or undermining their professional standing.

It is a trend thick with irony: The very women who have complained for decades about unequal treatment now perpetuate many of the same problems by turning on their own.

Catty Trap

“We are hard-pressed to think of a term comparable to ‘catfight’ that is regularly used to label conflict and competition between two men” (Sheppard & Aquino, 2013)

This perception may have actual impact on hiring/promotion of women

Quick tips

MEN

Give compliments more freely

Use praise to temper criticism

Asks for another‘s opinion to make them feel included

WOMEN

Be more dominant when giving orders

Giving Orders

DIRECT dictate orders not bossy or offensive

Women misinterpret direct orders as:

impoliteness overbearing

INDIRECT use strategies not to

appear bossy

•“could we do this…”•“do you think it’s

possible…”•“I would do it this way…”

Men misinterpret indirect approach as:

not being managerial easier to say “NO”

“There are two traits now that in the corporate world are the kiss of death: Intellectual arrogance and bullying” (Eagly & Carli, p. 39)

How do we foster the proper balance of gender traits in communication @ work?

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