making first impression in business writing dl
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First ImpressionsCount!A few simple suggestions
Read the following. There are five main problems with text. Can you name them?
hey… we r a chan of retailers chic rags based in tel aviv and are loking for a manufacturer how can suppli us with a wide range of sweaters 4 the men’s leisurewear market we wer impressed by the knew designs displayed on your stand at the hamburg menswear exhibition last may us we usually place large orders we would ecpect a quantity discount in addition to a 20% trade discount off net list prises are turms of payment are normally 30-day bill of exchang d/a we hope to hear from u soon peter
Right! There are five main problems with the text. missing capital letters missing punctuation no paragraphing inappropriate language spelling errors
CAPITAL Letters
Do you remember…Why English uses capital letters?When to use a capital letter?
CAPITAL Letters Capital letters have meaning. They show the reader:
the beginning of a new sentence◦ The company earned $100,000 last year.
the word is “I”◦ My sister and I went to the movies.
names of people, organizations and places◦ My friend Mike works at Ruppin Academic
College near Netanya.
Punctuation
Do you remember…when to use a full stop?when to use a comma?
Full Stop
A full stop tells the reader:End of the sentence.
◦Mike ate a cookie.
Always put a full stop at the end of the sentence.
Comma
These are six main rules for using a comma:
Comma after “yes” or “no” at the beginning of a sentence. ◦ Yes, I would like to have a carrot. ◦ No, I didn’t see you at the soccer game.
Comma before or after direct address (using someone’s name). ◦Mary, please hand me a pencil. ◦Please watch where you are going,
Ben.
Comma
Comma after the greeting and closing of a letter.
Dear Tom,How are you? I am fine.Sincerely,Lynn
Comma to separate the day or month from the year. ◦ January 10th, 2012.◦ Friday, May 16th.
Comma to separate things in a series. ◦I need to buy bread, milk, and butter. ◦My favorite colors are blue, orange,
and green.
Use a comma after common introductory words in a sentence, like however, clearly, and well. ◦However, we should still investigate
the missing painting.
Comma
Paragraphs
Do you remember…what a paragraph is?why we write in paragraphs?
HeyWe are a chain of retailers,Chic Rags, based in Tel Aviv and are looking for a manufacturer. We need a firm that can supply us with a wide range of sweaters for the men’s leisurewear market. We were impressed by the new designs displayed on your stand at the Hamburg Menswear Exhibition last month.As we usually place large orders, we would expect a quantity discount in addition to a 20% trade discount off net list prices. Our terms of payment are normally 30-day bill of exchange, D/A.We hope to hear from you soon. Peter Crane
Read the following. What is the problem with this text?
Right! There aren’t any paragraphs. Itis a list of sentences. In a paragraph:• The sentences that are
about one main idea are together.
• They follow one another. • They help the reader “see”
the text as a whole.Do NOT begin each new sentence on a new line!
Language
Hey…We r a chain of retailers,Chic Rags, based in Birmingham and r looking 4 a manufacturer. We r looking 4 a firm that can supply us with a wide range of sweaters 4 the guy’s clothes market. Your stuff is really cool! We saw u at stand at the Hamburg Menswear Exhibition last month.We want 2 c more of your designs. We hope 2 hear from u soon. Pete
Read the following. What is the problem with the text?• How many examples of inappropriate
language can you find?
Hey…We r a chain of retailers, Chic Rags, based in Birmingham and r looking 4 a manufacturer. We r looking 4 a firm that can supply us with a wide range of sweaters 4 the guy’s clothes market. Your stuff is really cool! i e saw u at stand at the Hamburg Menswear Exhibition last month.We want 2 c more of your designs. We hope 2 hear from u soon. Pete
If you found between 18 and 20
examples of inappropriate language…
Great Job!
Formal or Informal Language?
b or be c or see r or are u or you y or why r or are4 or for 2 or to, too
Spelling
And yes… spelling counts!
Hey…We are a chane of retailers, Chic Rags, based in Tel Aviv and are looking for a menufacturer. We are needing a form that can to supply us with a wide renges of sweaters for the gay’s clothes market. We where impresed by the news designs desplayed on your stand at the Humburg Menswear Exhibision on the last mouth.Our terms of paymint are normaly 30-day bell of axchange, D/A.We hope to here from you soon. Peter Crane
Read the following. • How many spelling errors can you find?
Deer Mr. Chn,We are a chane of retailers, Chic Rags, based in Tel Aviv and are looking for a menufacturer. We need a form that can to supply us with a wide renege of sweaters for the gay’s clothes market. We where impressed by the knew designs desplayed on your stand at the Humburg Menswear Exhibision in Mertz this yer.Our terms of paymint are normaly 30-day bell of axchange, D/A.We hope to here from you sun. Peter Crane
If you found 20 examples of spelling
mistakes…
Great Job!
Check before your send!Proofread your work for capital
letters, punctuation, and spelling. Ask a colleague to read the letter
or email.Remember: If there are too many
mistakes you will not make a good first impression.
Dear Mr. Smith,
We are a chain of retailers, Chic Rags, based in Tel Aviv and are looking for a manufacturer. We need a firm that can supply us with a wide range of sweaters for the man’s leisurewear market. We were impressed by the new designs displayed at your stand at the Hamburg Menswear Exhibition last April.
As we usually place large orders, we would expect a quantity discount. In addition, our terms of payment are normally 30-day bill of exchange, d/A.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Peter CraneCEO, Chic Rags
What impression would this make?