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Understanding bullying and supporting young people.

Kellie Turtle

ChildLine NI

What is ChildLine?ChildLine is the UK’s

FREE, CONFIDENTIAL helpline for children and young people.

Trained counsellors listen to young people on the phone and online. You can talk about absolutely everything 24/7.

ChildLine bullying calls:

Bullying was the most popular reason for children contacting ChildLine for 15 years.

Made up around 25% of all calls for much of this period.

2009/2010 fell to second place with Family Relationships becoming most common issue.

Bullying still accounted for 20,000 calls – 14%

In their own words…“I am getting bullied at school and I live near the bullies so it happens when I go out to play as well. I told the teacher and she said I should avoid them. I don’t feel like going to school sometimes.” (10 yr old girl)

“I was hit by a bully and have got a black eye. I don’t know what to do.” (11yr old girl)

“It was all over school that I fancied another boy and that’s when it started. People would make horrible comments and laugh when I passed them in the corridor or when I was playing rugby or on my way home from school. The boys I had been friends with stopped hanging around with me. One particular group of boys started to really pick on me. They made threats and started to push me around. Stuff went missing from my locker.” (14 yr old boy)

What is bullying?Bullying is the repeated use of power by one or more persons intentionally to hurt, harm or adversely affect the rights and needs of another or others. (NIABF)

Bullying is repeated aggression, verbal, psychological or physical conducted by an individual or group against others. (Dept Education and Skills)

The persistent, intentional harming of another person within an unequal power relationship. (NSPCC Practice Guidance)

What is bullying?

• Repeated

• Intentional

• Power over

Bullying may include…

• Teasing, name-calling, verbal abuse or spreading rumours.

• Being punched, pushed, kicked or attacked.

• Being ignored or left out.

• Being forced to hand over money or other possessions.

• The use of technology (cyberbullying) such as getting abusive or threatening texts, emails etc.

• Being attacked or harassed on the basis of gender, race, religion, disability or sexuality.

• All of the above.

Signs and indicators:• Physical – injuries, torn clothing, ill-health

• Emotional – mood swings, personality changes, anxiety, depression, tearfulness, lack of confidence, hostility, defensiveness

• Behavioural – withdrawal, self abuse, lashing out at others, losing possessions frequently, avoiding activities, lethargy or hyperactivity.

(NIABF)

What do you think about bullying?

Discuss each of the following statements and decide whether you agree or disagree.

Listen to and respect different perspectives.

“There is more bullying among young people

nowadays than in previous generations.”

“Bullies are just weak people who pick on those they are

jealous of.”

“Telling an adult is the best way to get bullying stopped.”

“Some young people seem to attract bullying – they just

need to stand up for themselves.”

A different perspective:• Bullies are all kinds of people – weak,

insecure, hurting, controlling, manipulative. Many young people find the answer, “They’re just jealous” patronising.

• Many callers to ChildLine have already told an adult. Our message to them is to keep on telling until it stops.

• Young people can be confused by mixed messages about “standing up for yourself”.

• Young people with low self esteem may be an easy target. It does not mean the bullying is their own fault.

• We must work to develop the esteem of all young people in our care – including those who bully.

Strategies to STOP bullying.Values / Rights: Be clear about the kind of environment you want to create for children and young people. How can you achieve this? Take a child-centred, rights-based approach.

Integrated policy: How is positive behaviour promoted in your setting? Make sure anti-bullying messages and procedures are embedded in this.

Listen to them: Your strategies to stop bullying must be informed by their experiences. Be open, encourage honesty, use anonymous questionnaires, focus groups…learn from them.

Strategies to STOP bullying.Provide access to support: Advertise as many sources of support as possible, as frequently as possible. It is your responsibility to be pro-active, not theirs.

Mentoring / Buddy Scheme: Peer support builds on the skills and natural desire of children to help each other. It reduces isolation, prevents bullying starting, and allows it to be quickly identified and dealt with.

Training for staff / volunteers: The effectiveness of anti-bullying policy depends on the skills and attitude of the people that children come in contact with.

Strategies to STOP bullying.Eg. Listening and Helping Skills

1. Display open non-verbal communication

2. Help them tell their story

3. Clarify their feelings & express empathy

4. Explore options

5. Identify risks and benefits of different options

6. Decide on an action plan

Strategies to STOP bullying.And most importantly…

ACT!Children and young people report feeling safer in environments where

they know bullying behaviour will be dealt with.

-Mediation

-Support Group / No Blame Approach

-Sanctions

Breaking the cycle:

- Positive thinking (cognitive)

- Friendship and support (emotional)

- Fun, challenging activities (behavioural)

When it doesn’t stop…

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Thanks for listening.

www.childline.org.uk / www.childline.ie

0800 1111 / 1800 666 666

www.niabf.org.uk