love v4.0 a great freeware program available as app love v4.0 a great freeware program available as...
TRANSCRIPT
Love V4.0a GREAT
freeware programavailable as app
Love V4.0a GREAT
freeware programavailable as app
Service Rep:Service Rep: Hello, Hello,
this is the Heart this is the Heart Systems Software Systems Software
Company help desk. Company help desk.
How may I help you?How may I help you?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Customer: I just Customer: I just received your received your
latest program, latest program, LOVEv4.0LOVEv4.0
...you know ...you know the freewarethe freeware
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
I don't understand I don't understand it. it.
Can you tell me Can you tell me how to install it?how to install it?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Service Rep: Service Rep: Sure thing . Sure thing . Do you have Do you have
the installation the installation files and files and
instructions instructions with you?with you?
Customer: YesCustomer: Yes I do, but first I do, but first can you tell can you tell me what the me what the
program program does?does?
Service Rep: Sure Service Rep: Sure thing. LOVE is a thing. LOVE is a unique program, unique program,
there is no other like there is no other like it in the world. LOVE it in the world. LOVE
attaches to your attaches to your operating system and operating system and
runs silently in the runs silently in the background, you will background, you will never see LOVE on never see LOVE on
your monitor or your your monitor or your toolbar… toolbar…
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
but you will notice but you will notice its affect on every its affect on every
application you may application you may have. It makes the have. It makes the good programs run good programs run
smoother and smoother and greatly restricts greatly restricts
and/or deletes the and/or deletes the bad ones.bad ones.
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Customer: Wow! Customer: Wow! That sounds great. That sounds great.
How does LOVE How does LOVE make my machine make my machine run smoother?run smoother?
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Service Rep: Service Rep: Well, good sound files, like Well, good sound files, like
COMPLIMENT.WAV, COMPLIMENT.WAV, ENCOURAGEMENT.WAV, and ENCOURAGEMENT.WAV, and
KINDWORD.WAV will play KINDWORD.WAV will play frequently. frequently.
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Also, Also, FORGIVENESS.EXE FORGIVENESS.EXE
will be invoked every time will be invoked every time there is an external violation, there is an external violation,
including the ever-popular including the ever-popular syntax errorssyntax errors
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... Also, all those Also, all those
aggravating errors that sayaggravating errors that say"unable to connect" will be "unable to connect" will be avoided. LOVE allows for a avoided. LOVE allows for a
smooth connection with external smooth connection with external devices, regardless of what devices, regardless of what
country it is manufactured in, country it is manufactured in, the brand name, or the age the brand name, or the age
of the modelof the model
Customer: Customer: That's exactly That's exactly what I need, what I need, my machine has my machine has been isolated for been isolated for too long. too long. But what about the But what about the bad programs?bad programs?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... CS Rep: CS Rep:
Good question. Good question. LOVE searches your memory for LOVE searches your memory for
programs like HATE.COM, programs like HATE.COM, BITTERNESS.EXE, SELFISH.COM, BITTERNESS.EXE, SELFISH.COM,
and SPITE.EXE. and SPITE.EXE.
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... These programs These programs
can't be entirely deleted can't be entirely deleted
off your hard drive, off your hard drive,
but LOVE but LOVE
overpowers overpowers
those programs..those programs..
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LOVE stops their LOVE stops their commands from being commands from being
executed and runs its own executed and runs its own instructionsinstructions
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You will no longer hearYou will no longer hear INSULT.WAV INSULT.WAV
and you wont be able to write and you wont be able to write with the font with the font
"BADWORDS12" or "BADWORDS12" or "HARSHNESS10"..."HARSHNESS10"...
Customer: Customer: That's a fantastic That's a fantastic program you have. program you have. Are the upgrades Are the upgrades free too?free too?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: CS Rep: They sure They sure are…are…
CustomerCustomer: : How do I How do I get the get the upgradesupgrades??
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... CS Rep: That's easy. CS Rep: That's easy.
Once you have LOVE installed Once you have LOVE installed and running, it automatically and running, it automatically copies a module, or a piece of copies a module, or a piece of itself, to every external Hard itself, to every external Hard
drive Email And Remote Terminal drive Email And Remote Terminal (HEART) (HEART)
that it comes in that it comes in contact with…contact with…
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... In turn, those In turn, those
external devices external devices run whatever run whatever
version of LOVE version of LOVE they have and they have and
return a module to return a module to your HEARTyour HEART
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You will be upgraded You will be upgraded with each and every with each and every
module that you receive. module that you receive. But you have to remember, But you have to remember,
to receive the upgrades to receive the upgrades you have to be running LOVE you have to be running LOVE
and you have to comeand you have to come into contact with into contact with other computers other computers while it is runningwhile it is running
Customer: Customer: I can do that. I can do that. I'm not very I'm not very
technical, but I technical, but I think I am ready to think I am ready to install now. What install now. What
do I do first?do I do first?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: The CS Rep: The first step is first step is to open your to open your HEART. HEART. Have you Have you located your located your HEART ?HEART ?
Customer: Yes I Customer: Yes I have, but there are have, but there are several programs several programs
running right now. running right now. Is it okay to install Is it okay to install
while they are while they are running?running?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: CS Rep: What What
programs programs are are
running?running?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Customer: Customer: let me see....
let me see....I have I have PASTHURT.EXE,PASTHURT.EXE,LOWESTEEM.EXLOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, E, GRUDGE.EXE, and and RESENTMENT.COM
RESENTMENT.COMrunningrunning right now.
right now.
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
LOVE will eventually overwrite LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE LOWESTEEM.EXE
with a module of with a module of
its own called its own called
HIGHESTEEM.EXE. HIGHESTEEM.EXE.
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
However, However, you have to completely turn off you have to completely turn off
GRUDGE.EXE and GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?Can you turn those off ?
Customer: Customer: I don't know I don't know how to turn how to turn
them offthem offCan you Can you
tell me how?tell me how?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: My pleasure. CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and Go to your Start menu and
invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and until GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM RESENTMENT.COM have been have been completely completely
erasederased
Customer: Customer: Okay, I'm Okay, I'm done. done. LOVE has LOVE has started started installing itself installing itself automatically. automatically. Is that normal?Is that normal?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
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Rep: Yes it is. You Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a should receive a
message that says message that says it will reinstall for it will reinstall for
the life of your the life of your HEART. Do you HEART. Do you
see that message?see that message?
Customer: Customer: Yes I do. Yes I do.
Is it Is it completely completely installed?installed?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Rep: Yes it is.Rep: Yes it is.But remember that But remember that you have only the you have only the base program. You base program. You
need to begin need to begin connecting to other connecting to other
HEARTs in order to get HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.the upgrades.
Customer: Customer: Oops...Oops...I have an error I have an error message message already. already. What should I What should I do?do?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
"ERROR 412 - "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM PROGRAM NOT RUN NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
ON INTERNAL COMPONENTCOMPONENTS"S"
CS Rep: What does
the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT
RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS".
What does that mean?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: CS Rep: Don't worry , that's a common Don't worry , that's a common
problem. problem. It means that the LOVE program It means that the LOVE program
is set up to run on external HEARTS is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been but has not yet been run on your HEARTrun on your HEART
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
It is one of those It is one of those complicated programming things, complicated programming things,
but in non-technical terms it but in non-technical terms it
means you have to "LOVE" means you have to "LOVE" your own machine your own machine
before it can "LOVE" othersbefore it can "LOVE" others
Customer: Customer: So what So what
should I do?should I do?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: Can you CS Rep: Can you find the directory find the directory
called called "SELF-"SELF-
ACCEPTANCE"?ACCEPTANCE"?
CustomerCustomer: Yes, : Yes,
I have itI have it
Yet Yet another another
customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... CS Rep: CS Rep:
Excellent, Excellent, you are you are
getting good getting good at thisat this
CustomerCustomer: Thank : Thank
youyou
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: You're welcome. CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: directory:
FORGIVESELF.DOC, FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT,REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC and GOODNESS.DOC
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
The system The system will overwrite will overwrite
any conflicting files any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty and begin patching any faulty
programmingprogramming
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Also, you need Also, you need to delete to delete
SELFCRITIC.EXE SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, from all directories,
and then empty your recycle bin and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is afterwards to make sure it is
completely gone and completely gone and never comes back. never comes back.
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
Customer: Got it. Hey! Customer: Got it. Hey!
My HEART is filling up My HEART is filling up with really neat files. with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and is playing on my monitor right now and
it shows that WARMTH.COM, it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, PEACE.EXE,
and CONTENTMENT.COM and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves are copying themselves
all over my HEART! all over my HEART!
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
WARMTH.COM,WARMTH.COM,PEACE.EXEPEACE.EXE
CONTENTMENT.CCONTENTMENT.COM OM
Yet Yet another another
customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... WARMTH.COM,WARMTH.COM,
PEACE.EXEPEACE.EXE
CONTENTMENT.CCONTENTMENT.COM OM CS Rep: Then CS Rep: Then
LOVE is LOVE is installed and installed and
running. running. You should be You should be able to handle able to handle it from here. it from here.
One more One more thing before I thing before I
go...go...
CustomeCustomer: Yes?r: Yes?
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customer service customer service phone call.......phone call.......
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and Be sure to give it and its various modules its various modules
to everybody you meet. to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with They will in turn share it with
other people and they will return other people and they will return some really neat modules some really neat modules
back to youback to you
Yet Yet another another
customer service customer service phone call.......phone call....... Customer: Customer:
I will. I will.
Thank you Thank you for your helpfor your help
Note: The origin of this is unknown. My source was David Morgan.