love systems insider: wingmen, flight attendants, younger women

8/14/2019 Love Systems Insider: Wingmen, Flight Attendants, Younger Women...

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Love Systems InsiderDate: September 2009

Q&A - Turning Friends into Wingmen, Flight Attendants,Attracting Younger Women, and More!

Hey guys,

Mailbag day today friends who get in the way, flight attendants, older men and younger women, cross-cultural pickups, building attraction when you only have a minute, and so on.

Q#1:

Savoy, I took a bootcamp with Sheriff and Soul in the summer and last weekend pulled alingerie model from a charity party. Me! I thought this could never happen and the best part is I know I can do it again and again.

The Lounge is incredible and its helped me a lot to get answers from instructors about sticking points even after the bootcamp, but I wanted to ask you personally because it sounds like youwent through a lot of the same stuff I did. How do I deal with old friends who still arent very

good at this, and who mess it up for me?

- R. J., Columbus, OH

A#1:

Dear R. J.,

Are these friends who added to your life before? Keep them. To be truly successful withwomen, you have to have something in your life thats more important than women.

Or, were they the misery loves company type of friends, who were easy to hang out with because they were on your level?

Now, heres a curveball:
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2/7

Braddock and Mr. M in their Social Circle Mastery seminar talk about different circles of friendsand how you can be limited in the number of each kind of friendships (close friend,acquaintance, etc.).

To oversimplify, if you want to be dating lingerie-model 9s and 10s from within your socialcircle (i.e., get introduced to them by friends instead of having to pick them up cold in public),then you have to construct a social circle that creates and supports that...

... which means you might not have as much time for everyone else that you did before.

Its kind of a copout, but its a matter of balance and whats important to you.

Now, lets move on to friends who mess it up for you.

Dont bring them along when you go out to meet women unless they change (by improving their skills if they are inept, or adjusting their attitude if the sabotage is deliberate).

You cant avoid this. As I went into detail about in my book Magic Bullets , women will judgeyou by the company you keep and how you interact with your friends:

Having friends who are awkward: bad, but not a deal-breaker.

Having friends who dont seem to have your best interests at heart: really bad. You being in a position where you are forced to disrespect your friends to get the girl:

really, really, really bad.

For deliberate sabotage, Braddock gave a great example in a Social Circle Mastery seminar Iwas observing, in response to a question precisely about this. Its short and minimizes conflictwhile keeping the message clear:

I love hanging out with you and I like being your friend, but if you do [whatever it is] , Im not going to be able to [hang out / go to clubs with you / etc.] anymore .

If theyre messing it up for you because they dont know any better, teach them.

But beware - some guys just wont be, or arent, ready yet. Its tough to understand why a thirstyman would refuse a glass of water, but its actually based on a fundamental psychological truth:
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Its easier to accept that something is impossible than it is to accept that you need toimprove something about yourself.

Before I started to put the pieces of Love Systems together, the women I was interested inalways ended up with other guys. I rationalized that these guys must be their boyfriends, or knew them before, or were rich or better looking, etc. And, I believed it.

I wasnt happy, but my ego and self-image were protected. Not getting the women I wanted waslike not reaching my childhood goal of being a professional hockey player: disappointing, but Idid all I could and was only limited by factors beyond my control.

This is like the blue pill in The Matrix. You dont know what you dont know, so it doesnt bother you. But, you also never get to fix it.

The red pill the one that tells you whats really going on is a hard one to swallow. It meansyouve wasted months or years making excuses when you could have had the life you wanted.

Some men just arent ready for the red pill right away. The pattern is so clear that we call it thethree stages of denial.

Stage 1: It doesnt work.

Stage 2: Okay, it works, but it wouldnt work on the type of women I like.

Stage 3: Okay, it works on women generally, but its manipulative and Im above that.

So, if you tell or show your friends how your skills have improved and they are stuck in one of the three stages of denial, dont beat your head against the wall. Give them time. Shedding self-

protective beliefs, even if they are holding you back, is hard.

And, the longer theyve been clinging to these beliefs, the harder it is to give them up.

Thats part of why I love what I do and why I love teaching at the Super Conference andmeeting the guys because Im surrounded by people who have the courage to take the red pilland make the best of their lives. Thats really inspiring.
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Now, if you friends are willing, show them how its done instead of lecturing them.

The game is learned in the field. Reality trumps theory.

Once your friends get a sense of the general rhythm of a solid pickup, only then let them borrowyour copy of Magic Bullets and the Love Systems Routines Manual ( Volume 1 might be better than Volume 2 for new guys; other way around for more advanced guys). Or the interviews onApproaching and on Approach Anxiety if thats an issue. But, dont flood them with too muchtheory up front or they can get lost.

Remember, every man needs to learn at his own pace. And, it can be tough for your friends totake advice from the guy who was at the same level until a few months ago.

Take care,

Savoy

Q#2:

Hey Savoy, I loved the LSi on pickup women on planes . Ironically, my next flight is in threeweeks for the Super Conference so Im looking to start my weekend off right. You didnt cover

stewardesses. Why not?

- J.S., Tulsa, OK

A#1:

Its been years since I saw a young, hot, flight attendant outside of a couple of Asian airlines. Itsnot the glamour job it once was.

But, if youve found a diamond in the rough, here are a few things to consider:

Its a lot like picking up Strippers and Hired Guns - waitresses, hostesses, dancers,etc... women who were hired for their looks. (Braddock and The Don are doing a specialone-day seminar on this.)
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5/7

The first thing you have to do is use the time when she approaches you (part of her job)to very quickly develop a small amount of attraction, and then make plans to improveyour logistics.

Logistics in the Love Systems Triad Model is mostly about where you are and youare with. On the plane, shes working and is being observed by fellow attendants and

passengers. These are terrible logistics, especially compared with meeting up for a drink at her hotel.

So, dont work too hard to develop a deep emotional connection it will likely come off as awkward in that situation and isnt necessary. Get attraction and improve the logistics.

Even worse, dont go beyond light social touch in terms of physical progression (akakino) until youve improved the logistics.

To create attraction in this situation, remember that youre probably only talking to her inone-minute chunks. So, use short, sharp routines to tease her or make her laugh. Stayaway from heavy cold reads in this kind of situation.

If thinking of picking up women in terms of Emotional Progression, Physical Progression, andLogistics isnt 100% familiar to you, you definitely need the Love Systems Triad model . Youcan read it in an hour, and its free .

Take care,

Savoy

Q#3:

Ive already listened to all of the interviews up to the one on older men dating younger women (I even voted for it on the top interview series list .) The three bulk packs are great; I wish Id

found them earlier. At the end of the interview, you said a lot of the same techniques for older men picking up younger women can be used for inter-cultural or inter-racial relationships too.

I dont really understand this...

- P. W., Melbourne, Australia

A#3:
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I probably shouldnt have said that. Wed just given an hour of great use-right-away techniquesfor older guys to meet younger women and then I threw that curveball, which would have takenanother hour to cover properly.

Heres the bridge. One of the important things about dating a younger woman is not trying tocompete on her territory, but rather to compete on yours. The same thing goes for cross-culturalrelationships (if the cultural gap is a big deal; otherwise just ignore).

For example if youre 40 and dating a 23 year old, dont try to be 23 yourself. Dont ask yourself whether you are young and cool enough for her. If she wanted a young guy, she couldhave the real thing, not a 40 year old who is pretending.

Instead, flip the script. Instead of wondering whether you are young and cool enough for her,wonder whether she is mature and sophisticated enough for you.

Obviously, thats only one small part of being successful with younger women, but its enoughfor us to get to the bridge.

When I was living in South Africa, one of my (Canadian) coworkers was mildly obsessive aboutA) South African women and B) acting like a South African male.

He ate, drank, and slept South African (in this case Afrikaner) culture, I think in part to impressthe women. He was so cool because he played rugby, was up to date on Afrikaner popular culture, and adopted a lot of the local attitudes...

... which made him a pale imitation of what had always been easily available to South Africanwomen their whole lives. Even my pre-Love Systems self had more success, and thats saying alot.

Obviously, in a cross-cultural relationship, show respect for and interest in your partners background, but be the man. Be proud of who you are and where you come from, and dontabandon that to please a woman. Its not only a bit pathetic, but also counter-productive.

So, if you go back and listen to the interview with that lens, you can work out how a lot of theolder man younger women pickup and relationship techniques can be applied.

By the way, we have four bulk packs now, not three we just put interviews 31-40 (9 and 10Game, Role Plays, Logistics: Taking Her Home, Female Psychology, Humor, Love Systems inEveryday Life, Issues in Qualification, Handling Tests, Dating Younger Women, and TurningThings Sexual) into bulk pack four .

Take care,
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Savoy

http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/qaa-friends-wingmen-flight-attendants-younger-women
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love systems insider: wingmen, flight attendants, younger women

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