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H O L I Y M O S E S ! E v e r s ince yer LTncle J a k e p a r t o o k of s o m e of t h a t th< re p r u n e j u i c e w h a t ole S i l a s Runhousse . - , t h e r d i s t i n g u i s h e d a n d a n c i e n t chief b o o t l e g g e r of G o b b l e r ' s K n o b g a v e h im e r c o u p l e dozen w e e k s a g o . he a i n ' t h a d no p e a c e e r m i n d a - t a l l . T h i s y e r c o u n t s fer t h e r a b s e n c e of ye r Unc l e J a k e ' s a r t i c l e s in t h i s go l d u r n ole h u m d i n g e r fer n i g h ' b o u t t w o m o n t h s . A f t e r t h e r f i rs t g u l p of t h e r d u r n c o n c o c k s h u n w h a t ole S i l a s m a k e s , y e r U n c l e J a k e b e g a n t e r g i t d izzv ; h i s c o u p l e s t r a y h a i r s on h i s h e a d s tood u p s t r a i g h t , h i s e y e s b a t t e d a n d t h e n t h e r e w a s er1 p e r a d e e r g r e e n e l e p h a n t s ! a n d p i n k s n a k e s w h a t m a r c h e d b e f o r e h i m in g r a n d r e v i e w . T h i s y e r h a p p e n e d on N o v e m b e r 26 a n d i t w a s j e s t t h e r d a y b e f o r e y e s t e r d a y t h a t y e r U n c l e J a k e w a s a b l e t e r d i s
t i n g u i s h M a i n e ' s s w e e t , r a s p i n ' vo i ce c h i r p i n g e r C h r i s t m a s ca ro l , a n d in -c i d e n t l y m y o p t i c v i s i o n s b e h e l d h e r j u g g l i n g e r r o l l i n g p in , a n d a t t h i s y e r s i c i l o g i c a l m o m e n t y e r U n c l e J a k e g o t r e n e w e d a m b i t i o n , a n d h e r w e a r a n d t e a r of t h e r b o o t l e g g e r ' s j a g s e e m s t e r d i s a p p e a r i m m e d i a t e l y . C H A Z E R ' S G H O S T ! B e i n g k i n d a gol d u r n a n x i o u s t e r s ee t h e r Jeff ' s c o m m u n i t y C h r i s t m a s t r e e , y e r U n c l e J a k e h i t c h e d u p t h e r ole g r a y m u l e w h a t ' s n a m e is M a u d a n d w h a t ' s b e e n in t h e r f a m i ly fer e r c o u p l e dozen or m o r e of y e a r s , a n d p r o c e e d ed t e r T o w s o n t o w n , b u t b o u t ' r o u n d L u t h e r v i l l e M a u d h e s i t a t e d , a n d t h e n b e g u n t e r w a l k b a c k w a r d , a n d she w a s n ' t e r d u r n b i t
c a r e fu l w h e r e she w a s e r g o i n g e i t h e r , a n d w h e n y e r U n c l e J a k e l o o k e d b a c k , d u r n if ole M a u d w a s n ' t b a c k i n g r i g h t up on t h e r h o n o r a b l e J e d g e D u n c a n s f r o n t p o r c h , a n d g i t t i n ou t , y e r U n c l e J a k e s n u c k t h r o u g h S h e a ' s w o o d s t e r b r o t h e r Gill S m i t h ' s p l a c e a n d b o r r o w ed er b u c k e t e r o a t s a n d er p i t c h - f o r k a n d t h e n s n u c k b a c k , a n d w h e n he g o t t h e r e d u r n if M a u d w a s n ' t g o n e , b u t t h e r b u g g v w a s s t i l l on t h e r J e d g e ' s p o r c h . C r e e p i n g u p t o t h e r h o u s e c a u t i o u s l y , y e r U n c l e J a k e p e e r e d t h r o u g h t h e w i n d o w s a n d n i g h b o u t fell i n t o e r fit w h e n h e sp ied Maud , s t i t t ing in t h e J e d g e ' s f a v o r i t e M o r r i s c h a i r a n d in d e e p m u l e c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h t h e r J e d g e ' s o le co lo red m a n . J e s t w h a t t h e r t w o w e r e s a y i n g t e r e a c h o t h e r could n o t be l e a r n e d , b u t f rom t h e r a c t i o n s of t h e r J e d g e ' s f a i t h ful ole s e r v a n t , he w a s a r g u i n g w i t h M a u d ' b o u t c l e a r i n g ou t , a n d M a u d w a s e q u a l l y d e t e r m i n e d t h a t s h e w o u l d n ' t . Ye r U n c l e J a k e a i n ' t no fool b v a d u r n s i g h t , so h e p u t t h e r b u c k e t e r o a t s in t h e r w i n d o w so ' s M a u d cou ld see i t , a n d d u r n if sfre d i d n ' t too , ' c a u s e s h e a r o s e j e s t l i k e a n ice l a d y m u l e a n d p r a n c e d to t h e ou t s ide , a n d t h e n ' s w h e n y e r U n c l e J a k e r e m o n s t r a t e d , e r s o m e t h i n g l i k e t h a t , w i t h h e r . F i n a l l y I g o t h e r h i t c h e d u p e r g a i n . a n d d u r n if she 'd m o v e t i l l I fooled he r , a n d h o w y e r U n c l e J a k e laffed. I t o o k t h e r p i t c h fo rk a n d t i ed t h e r b u c k e t er o a t s w h a t I b o r r o w e d f rom m y ole f r i end Gil l S m i t h t o t h e r end a n d g o t up in t h e b u g g y , h o l d i n g t h e r o a t s in f r o n t of M a u d j e s t f a r e n o u g h so ' s s h e c o u l d ' n t r e a c h t h e m , a n d in e r jiffy s h e w a s off, a n d be l i eve me I n e v e r s a w t h a t gol d u r n c r i t t e r r u n so f a s t b e f o r e in al l m y l ife. G o i n g a t t h e r e r a t e of 3000 k i l l o f e l l e r s e r m i n u t e w e pu l l ed up in f r o n t of t h e r Jeff 's offis and , h i t c h i n g Maud t.o t h e r s t r o n g e s t t r e e y e r U n c l e J a k e could And. he s k i d d e d i n t e r t h e r p l ace t e r s ee t h e r f a m o u s
LOANS ON REAL ESTATE Money Loaned on First and Second Mort gages on Building Association Terms. Al matters strictly confidential and money advanced within 24 hours notice.
GILBERT H. PANITZ, Attorney, 700 Equitable Building,
Phone, St. Paul 5995 Baltimore, Md
Old Town National Bank Oay and Exeter Streets BALTIMORE, MD
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t r e e , a n d my , b u t w a s n ' t I go l d u r n mad , causje t h e r p l a c e w a s so p a c k e d t h a t I c o u l d n ' t g i t a n y f a t h e r t h a n t h e door , b u t y e r U n c l e J a k e w a s n ' t s a t isfied w i t h t h a t , so he j e s t g o t d o w n on a l l f o u r s a n d c r a w l e d b e t w e e n t h e m m e n a n d w o m e n ' s l e g s t e r t h e r f r o n t l ine a n d g o t er fine v e w of t h e r ' f a i r . W h e n t h a t l i t t l e go l b l a m e e n g i n e c a m e e r r u s h i n g o u t of t h e r t u n nel i t w a s h e a d e d d i r e c t fe r y e r U n c l e J a k e ' s feet , a n d t e r g i t o u t of i t s w a y he m a d e e r g r a n d r u s h f e r t h e r door , a n d in t h e s t a m p e d e e r c o u p l e d o z e n peop le g o t h u r t , ' c a u s e w h e n y e r U n c l e m a k e s u p h i s pesiky ole m i n d t e r do s o m e t h i n g , t h e r ' s g o i n g t e r be s o m e t h i n g d o i n g e r s o m e b o d y ' s g o n e r g i t h u r t . T o w s o n t o w n d i d n ' t h a v e t h e r C h r i s t m a s a i r t h a t i t u s e d t e r h a v e , c a u s e a l l t h e r r u m m i l l s w e r e s h u t u p t i g h t a n d t e r d r i n k p l a i n w a t e r on e r cold n i g h t a i n ' t v e r y p l e a s a n t , e v e n if er y a p h a s g o t e r h i g h t e m p e r a t u r e . W h y , even t h e r t o w n g u a r d s s e e m e d t e r be n o r m a l , a n d t h i s y e r is s o m e -t h i n ' u n u s u a l fe r t h e m c r i t t e r s . J e d g -i n g f rom t h e r a p p e a r a n c e of t h e r t w o i t l o o k e d l i k e h e y s p e n t a l l C h r i s t m a s E v e in s h i n i n g u p t h e r b u t t o n s on t h e i r go l d u r n ole c o a t s w i t h s o l a r i n e e r s o m e t h i n g e l se j e s t a s good .
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! e r q u i e t l i t t l e j a g he ' s e i t h e r g o t t e r I g u z z l e h a i r t on i c , l i ve r r e m e d y , p e r -i u n a , e s s e n c e e r raisjins e r s h o e po l i sh , l and if h o n e of t h e r a f o r e s a i d con-c o c k s h u n s k i n be go t , y e r Unc l e J a k e w o u l d s u g g e s t er l i t t l e t i n c t u r e er p a i n t w i t h e r d r o p e r t w o of r o u g h - o n -r a t s p i t c h e d in t e r g i v e i t e r e x c i t i n g flavor. If a n y b o d y e v e r c o m e s up to y e r U n c l e J a k e a n d siez H a p p y N e w Year , w i t h c o n d i t i o n s a s t h e y a r e , he" l l be b l a m e s u r e t e r g i t e r stiff p u n c h in t h e r nose .
C E A Z E R ' S G H O S T ! C a r l W e i m a s t e r , w h a t s e r v e d in t h e r w a r b e t w e e n t h e r J u n i t e d S t a t e s a n d t h e r H u n g a r ian , h e a t h e n g o v e r n m e n t e r G e r m a n y s t a r t s off on e r a n o t h e r b a t t l e t e r d a c a u s e he g o t m a r r i e d t h i s m o r n i n g ' t h e r T o w s o n t o w n M e t h o d i s t Chu a n d t h e a n c i e n t a n d h o n o r a b l e r e v e r e n d g e n t l e m a n , Mr. K o o n t z t h e r k k o t so go l d u r n t i g h t t h a t a i n ' t no u s e f e r C a r l t e r e v e n b r e a k e r w a y .
T h e y a i n ' t Mo m a n y f o l k s b u t y e r U n c l e J a k e w a s G m a n , a n d t e r l o o k t h e r p a t e r B a l t i m o r e t o w n t e r d r e s s s u i t , a n d be l i eve l a d i e s sed t h a t y e r Unc i t h e r b e s t l o o k i n g th in o n l y t r o u b l e w a s t h a t l o a n e d m e t h e r s u i t f l a r s m u s t h a v e t h o u g i t f a t on t h e r w a y t h e r a t m o s p h e r e wo / ' c a u s e w h e n I s l ip b a c k e r H a r r y B p u t i t on, h e r e p a n t s l e g s a n d t ed Q u e e n Alex l e n g t h , b u t a s U n c l e J a k e w a i n ' t l i k e sip t h e y c o m p l a n e v e r s t o p t h a v e b r a i n s h o w , a f t e r dozen m i n ed in ro l l t u c k i n g t h e r t o p we l l church, s u n r i s . d u r n Uncle t h e r t h e r n' peop l y e r thou, g r q sio t a U t r im tb 1 a J h P mi
OH, C L E O P A T R I C K ! T u r k e y s a r e r o o s t i n ' so b l a m e h i g h t h a t t h e r a v e r a g e h u n g r y m a n ' l l h a v e t e r be c o n t e n t w i t h p i g a n d s a u e r k r o u t . D o n ' t y e r k n o w t h a t t h e r l a s t t i m e y e r U n c l e J a k e s tuf fe r s a u e r k r o u t in h i s s t o m a c h t h a t t h e r d u r n stuff r e b o u n d e d a n d g o t w e d g e d in h i s e a r s , a n d s o m e fe l le r on t h e r s t r e e t c u s e d h i m of b e i n g e r D u t c h m a n a n d sed he w a s p o s i t i v e t h a t y e r U n c l e w a s one , c a u s e h e h a d s a u e r k r o u t g r o w i n g o u t of h i s e a r s , a n d t h a t t h e r e ' s b e e n 60 odd y e a r s a g o . I a i n ' t t o u c h e d n o n e s ince . F e r m e n t e d e r r o t e n c a b b a g e n e v e r t e m p t ed y e r Unc l e J a k e no h o w , no p l a c e .
BLOOMIN' I D I O T S ! I t ' s n i g h a b o u t 12 o 'c lock X. M. a n d a s y e r U n c l e J a k e h a s g o t t e r fill M a m e ' s s o c k s w i t h s o m e t h i n g , m a y b e g r a v e l , fer C h r i s t m a s , he ' d b e t t e r d u r n s i g h t g i t busy , c a u a e M a m e ' s one of t h e m t fVre w o m e n w h a t y e r c a n ' t t a m p e r w i t h , l e t e r -lone a r g u e w i t h . W h q t h a t d a m e k i n c h u c k e r d i s h s t r a i g h t e r t h a n a n y g a l I k n o w , a n d a s fe r w i e l d i n g e r r o l l i n g p in so ' s i t ' l l n e v e r m i s s i t s m a r k s h e a i n ' t g o t no e q u a l . L a n s a k e s , I d o n e h e a r d h e r d a i n t y t r e a d on t h e r s t a i r s n o w . O u t w i t h , t h e r l i g h t , b o t t l e u p t h e r i n k p o t a n d i n t e r bed y e r U n c l e J a k e ' l l fly, c a u s e t h e r e ' s m a d n e s s in t h e r a i r , b y go l ly , a n d I k i n s m e l l i t .
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A r e p r e s e n t a t i v e of T h e J e f f e r s o n i a n r e c e n t l y w e n t t h r o u g h t h e a l m s h o u s e a n d i n t e r v i e w e d s o m e of t h e i n m a t e s . E v e r y o n e S j ^ m e d sa t i s f ied a n d c o n t e n t ed. No d i s s a t i s f a c t i o n of a n y k i n d w a s e v i d e n t . T h e r o o m s w e r e w a r m a n d c o m f o r a b l e , t h e i n m a t e s w e r e c l ean a n d a p p a r e n t l y w e l l fed, a n d t h e g e n e r a l s u r r o u n d i n g s w e r e h o m e l i k e . I n fac t , s e v e r a l of t h e i n m a t e s a s s e r t e d t h a t t h e y could n o t w i s h for a b e t t e r h o m e .
A n u m b e r of p u b l i c - s p i r i t e d l a d i e s in t h e c o u n t y h a v e in r e c e n t y e a r s t a k e n a n a c t i v e i n t e r e s t in t h e w e l f a r e of t h e a l m s h o u s e , a n d t h e i r i d e a s w e r e l a r g e l y a d o p t e d by t h e C o u n t y C o m m i s s i o n e r s in t h e i m p r o v e m e n t s r e c e n t l y m a d e . A c o m m i t t e e , r e p r e s e n t i n g t h e s e l ad ies , m a k e s p e r i o d i c a l v i s i t s to t h e a l m s h o u s e a n d t h e y h a v e f o u n d n o t h i n g in t h e w a y t h e h o m e is c o n d u c t e d to w a r r a n t cr i t ic is ;m.
H o w a n y o n e cou ld c o n c e i v e t h e i d e a t h a t " t h o s e of t h e i n m a t e s w h o m t h e r a t s do n o t e a t w i l l d ie of s t a r v a t i o n " is i n c o n c e i v a b l e . L e t t h e w r i t e r of t h i s c o m m u n i c a t i o n c o m e o u t in t h e open , g i v e h i s or h e r full n a m e a n d a d d r e s s , a n d t h e n a m e of t h e s u p p o s e d p h y s i c i a n q u o t e d in t h e c o m m u n i c a t ion , so t h a t t h e p e o p l e of t h e c o u n t y m a y k n o w t h e t r u t h . If t h e c o n d i t i o n s a t t h e a l m s h o u s e a r e a n y t h i n g l i k e as, bad a s p i c t u r e d , t h e officials a n d t h e peop le of t h e c o u n t y w a n t t o k n o w it, so t h a t s t e p s m a y be t a k e n a t o n c e to r e m e d y t h e s i t u a t i o n . If t h e c o n d i t i o n s a r e n o t a s p i c t u r e d , t h e y w a n t t h i s u n j u s t a s p e r s i o n u p o n t h e i n s t i t u t i o n r e t r a c t e d .
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T h e t r i a l of G u y L. T h o m p s o n , w h o is c h a r g e d w i t h d y n a m i t i n g t h e hor of J a m e s Bo l ton , k i l l i n g t h e f a t r i a n d t w o c h i l d r e n , wi l l be h e a r d , R o c k v i l l e on D e c e m b e r 29.