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O. M. F. G., says Gabi with a dramatic handwave between each letter. She grips my arm

across the table, nearly knocking my coffee over in the process.

What?

Jamie. Elliot. Fox.

Can you speak in normal sentences?Hes, like, famous, Mia.

He seems like a knob. Whats he famous for?

Er, for being rich and fit? You must have heard about him! God, its like you live under a

bridge.

Within a second shes whipped out her phone and is scrolling rapidly. She hands it to me

triumphantly. Ta da!

A few people who are quietly murmuring over their coffees look round at our table, which is

something that often happens when were out together. Its like Gabi has a volume dial on her

voicebox that is always turned a few 15 notches above everyone elses.

That was some quick stalking, even for you, I tell her.

But you want to see him, dont you?

No. Maybe. Okay, yes, I want to see him.

Id like to be all unbothered and cool, but Im a bit intrigued by him. Obviously hes good-

looking, with his stubble and dark eyes. And his muscly chest that I havent actually seen

properly, but I imagine being muscly. Not that Ive been imagining him walking round in just

his shorts, all wet from the swimming pool.

But he blatantly knows hes fit or he wouldnt go around kissing people in windows. Or

staring. Why would he stare at me? What does he think Im going to do run outside and

say, Now youve glared at me through a window, I must have you?

Gabi sees Ive gone into a daydream and so does her usual trick of digging her nail into my

hand. Oi! Okay, so his Facebook is, like, really private, but me and Han met him and hisfriends that night we went to Yorks.

She says the night we went to Yorks. She means the night we didnt get into Yorks and so

stood freezing our arses off in a nearby bus shelter, passing round a Smirnoff Ice. It seems

that these days its all about trying to get into clubs and places, when we always used to just

go to peoples houses when their parents were away. I miss getting all excited about house

parties and making playlists for them and putting all our money together to give to whichever

tall person was going to go and try to buy drinks at the supermarket. I have no chance of

getting into any clubs Im only just over five foot, so bouncers spot me immediately. Gabi

has the most enormous boobs ever to have grown on a person, though, so she just strolls in.

Maybe if I get this job then Ill be able to socialise in the 16 Radleigh Castle bar, like a

sophisticated . . . er, woman, and drink port with Jamie Elliot-Fox. And kiss Jamie Elliot-Foxagainst windows. But without getting sacked.

While shes talking about that night, I look at the first picture. Theres him in a suit, but with

the shirt collar open. Hes leaning back on a sofa, casually holding a glass of wine, while the

people around him, including two girls practically on his lap, clutch vodka bottles and

generally look totally wasted. Hes fixing the camera with that same critical, amused look he

had at the window.

You buggered off with those goths, she continues. Gabi thinks that anyone who doesnt like

pop music is a goth. Actually Hans sister and her friends had turned up and were on their

way to see a band, so I went with them.

Theyre not I try to interrupt.

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Whatev. So you went with the goths and then I texted you saying wed met all those

Woodbridge guys outside the club and went to their house party remember?

Yeah, they were all called Tarquin or Octavian or something.

So Jamie was there and that was the night I became Facebook friends with that guy Willem.

William?No, Willem.

Thats not a proper name.

Gabi takes a sip of her hot chocolate dramatically. Well, to anyone else it would be dramatic,

but its how she does everything.

Anyway, Max got really jealous and they were like actually going to fight, but Fat Steve

calmed everything down.

Really? I arch my eyebrows at her. Max has never been in a fight, Gabs. Weve never even

seen a fight.

Whatevs. You werent there. There was fighting in their eyes, Mia.

Just not in reality.

Exactly!

So youve met him, then? I scroll through some more photos. Hes not in all of them, but

every so often hell appear. On the beach in his shorts again, and wearing shades. In another

suit, sitting by a bonfire. In most of the photos hes got a drink in his hand, but he looks in

control, in stark contrast to lots of the people around him.

Well, he didnt talk much. He stood there drinking and watching everyone. Oh yeah, and he

was with this girl, apparently. The poshest girl Ive ever seen. Like a horse with loads of hair.

But all these other girls kept crowding round him and he was whispering to them and making

them laugh, like really flirty. If Max did that, Id go schitz. He said something to this one girl

and she took her top off and swung it round her head. Next thing, shes looking around for

him, but hed walked off!Wow, he sounds just lovely.

His friends said he lives in this pool house outside Radleigh Castle. How awesome is that?

He has parties all thetime. When you work there we should totes go Babe!

We are interrupted by Max arriving.

Hey, princess, he says, pointing both fingers at Gabi. He shuffles over in his ridiculously

baggy jeans, stopping briefly when the oversized cap he wears perched on the back of his

head falls off. Id like to point out that he is both white and middle class. Considering the

amount Gabi bitches about other peoples dress sense, I think that she must go temporarily

blind whenever Max is around. He slides into our booth. Aight, baby?

Okay, make that temporarily blind and deaf.

Max nods at me. Mia.Hi, Max.

Then Gabi and he start kissing, which, as is usual for them, carries on for about five minutes.

I keep my eyes on her phone. A girl with dark curly hair keeps appearing in the photos, who

must be the one Gabi was talking about, because she does have a lot of hair and is near to

Jamie in most of the pictures. Her name is Cleo Farah. She is stunning, with big brown eyes,

sharp cheekbones and coffee-coloured skin.

Max and Gabi are still firmly attached to each others mouths, so I look at the next photo.

Jamie is dressed up again, but it looks like its for a family thing rather than a party. Maybe a

wedding. Hes wearing a waistcoat and has his arm around a girl who looks about twelve.

She must be his sister. Hes smiling, but not in the frowny way he is in the other photos it

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looks more real. I suddenly realise how stalkerish this is and put Gabis phone down. At that

second, my own phone starts vibrating in the bag on my lap. Id turned the sound off after the

ringtone nearly gave me a heart attack at Radleigh Castle. Its calling from a private number.

The receptionist at Radleigh called me from a private number to arrange the interview.

Maybe theyre ringing to say I got the job. Or that I didnt. Or that I was seen watching Jamiein the swimming pool. There arent laws against watching men in shorts . . . are there?

I realise Ive just been staring at the phone and havent actually answered.

Mia, its Julia Elliot-Fox. Wed like to offer you a waitress

position.