living with cancer: a delicate imbalance · chuck maniscalco july, 2017 living with cancer: a...
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LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
ChuckManiscalco
July,2017
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
• Whatothersmartpeoplehavealreadysaid:
– “Thereissomegoodthatcanemerge”(StaceyKramer)– “Itisimportanttobedefiant”(AnandaJayant)– “Youmustredefineandre-createability”(RogerEbert)– “Youmustmaintaindignity”(TimothyIhrig)– “Youcan’tletitdefineyou”(DebraJarvis)
Goodadvice(mostly),but
nottheinsightsIhadaQerIwasdiagnosedwithStageIVLung
Cancer
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
Beware(EnergyDrains)
TakeCare(EnergyGains)
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,notwhat’s
righttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishness
GiveYourselfa
Hug
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,notwhat’s
righttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishness
GiveYourselfa
Hug
Beware(EnergyDrains)
TakeCare(EnergyGains)
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,notwhat’s
righttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishness
GiveYourselfa
Hug
• …atleastonunnecessarystuff
• Obsession+VolaZlity=ExhausZon
• Resilienceisnowakeypriority
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,notwhat’s
righttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishness
GiveYourselfa
Hug
• Understandsubtlebutimportantdifferencesbetweenpersonaltruthandsocialappropriateness
• E.g.,“I’mdoingmybest”vs.“I’mfine”;“It’sabitofatoughday”vs.“Makinggoodprogress”
• ItisdrainingtopretendtobeOK• CreateopportuniZesforpersonaltruthand
authenZcity
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,notwhat’s
righttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishness
GiveYourselfa
Hug
• Recognizethatyoumaybenow‘OutofSync’withyourcircle
• RelaZonshipswillandmustchange
• HowdoyoucreateaNewSync?(Accept,Embrace,Recalibrate)
• HowdoyouacceptAloneness?
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
• Askforwhatyouneed• Assumelovedones
don’tknowunlessyoutellthem
• Freethemfromthe‘WhatcanIdo?’fuZlity
• DoingthishelpsyouANDthem
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
• APPRECIATEwhoyouare
• IDENTIFYwhatyouuniquelyhavetooffer
• ENGAGEwithhowyou’ll‘be’andwhereyou’llfocus(Whatwouldbemissed?)
• Oh,andletothershugyou,too
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalanceBonusInsight
WatchOutForTheUndertow
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalanceBonusInsight#2
Wheredideverybodygo?
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalanceBonusInsight#3
ChapterandVerse:Getready.
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
Beware(EnergyDrains)
TakeCare(EnergyGains)
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
TurnDownThe
Volume
Saywhat’sright,not
what’srighttosay
You’renotalone,butalmost
Thevirtueof
selfishnessSelfCare
GiveYourselfa
Hug
Beware(EnergyDrains)
TakeCare(EnergyGains)
LivingwithCancer:ADelicateImbalance
