level 4 exemplars and comments paper 1 sample 1: section c ... · analytical study/review: the dark...

Level 4 exemplars and comments

Paper 1

Sample 1:

Section C, Question 5

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Comments

(i) This answer picks up easily on the underlying “spooky” elements and summarizes all the

salient points correctly. However, the answer is weakened by too much needless repetition

of quotes without fully explaining meaning.

(ii) This answer succeeds well in response to a technical question as it clearly identifies the many

devices used to develop a menacing atmosphere. It could be further strengthened in terms of

explaining the impact of such techniques - for example, a more sophisticated justification for

the use of personification.

(iii) Correctly points out the image of the sea as a source of danger and mystery, and notes the

persona’s sense of loss.

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Sample 2:

Section B, Question 3

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Comments

(i) Identifies a very good range of similarities.

(ii) The response here weakens the overall mark for Question 3 (the previous and next

sub-questions were very well answered). Credit is given to the fact that sound effects are

clearly and easily identified. However, the explanation offered in terms of their function is

quite flawed (e.g. “a sense of lightness of the scene”). The understanding of ‘diction’ seems

to be slightly confused with line structure.

(iii) The response notes clearly how the bird imagery is associated with violence, and the

messiness of the many boats mentioned. The candidate does attempt to attribute symbolism,

even if this is a little clumsily done.

(iv) Explains the mood of each very well but does not make any strong comparisons.

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Sample 3:


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Comments

(i) In this response, the key points are summarized correctly but no awareness is shown of the

disturbing effect.

(ii) The candidate mentions that rhyme “makes the poem more unique” which weakens the

answer immediately! The comment on pace redeems the answer slightly, but a lack of

technical analysis is exposed in the discussion of pace and the very general “a phone ringing”.

(iii) Offers a nice interpretation of animal imagery as foreshadowing danger and mystery.

Perceptive comments made about “the devil” and a sense of death.

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Paper 2

Sample 1:

Part I Section A, Question 1

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Comments

This is a strong and generally well-organized response, and the candidate has drawn on a range of

relevant examples to illustrate how innocence and experience are highlighted through plot and

character development. There are, however, certain parts of the analysis which are slightly uneven.

The idea of “innocence”, for example, is not treated in as much depth as that of “experience”, and

would also benefit from further qualification – whether it is taken to mean simply an absence of

knowledge and “experience”, or a state of “natural human goodness”, or both.

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Sample 2:

Part I Section D, Question 8

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Comments

The candidate shows a good grasp of the three short stories chosen. The discussion on “The Yellow

Wallpaper” is especially strong, as the candidate is able to point out that it is difficult to judge the

reliability of the narrator because of her possible mental illness, but that the “sense of victory” at the

end of the story is nonetheless undeniable. The essay’s arguments, however, would be more

convincing if they were more tightly and clearly written, a case in point being the opening sentences:

“Women are often under the suppression or oppression of their husbands or to be general, love. The

success of women is defined by their own definitions, as different women has different things that

they most care about.” [sic] The first sentence seems irrelevant to the second, and indeed, the rest of

the essay.

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Paper 3

Sample 1:

Extended Essay: The Repercussions of War in W.H. Auden’s “Refugee Blues” and Wilfred Owen’s

“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

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“Disabled”

Comments

This scope of this essay is just right for Paper 3. The piece is not too ambitious yet touches on issues

of broad social and historical relevance. The content is clear and coherent, and the candidate

displays a good understanding of the war background. The essay shows understanding of the two

poems and some knowledge of poetic devices, and uses reference to the poems to illustrate the main

ideas. It touches on broader social and political issues and displays a clear structure, with a focused

introduction and relevant conclusion. However, there is no real sense of an argument being made or

supported (e.g. that the poets differ in their attitude to war, and these poems illustrate these

differences). It also suffers from awkwardness of expression when trying to link the poems,

contains some ambiguities, and seems to misinterpret the tone of Auden’s poem, so can be said to

‘mostly fulfil’ the task requirements

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Sample 2:

Analytical Study/Review: The Dark Knight Rises – A New Definition of Heroism and Justice

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Sample 2:


Comments

The candidate says at the beginning of this analytical study that she will explore the ways in which

Batman is a more human hero in this film, and this is what she does. This is a clearly-structured

analytical study which shows a good grasp of the film as well as the use of cinematic techniques in

general. The desolate and bleak atmosphere of the film is well illustrated through the discussion of

setting, lighting and camera angles. There are also insightful references to other texts like A Tale of

Two Cities which help shed light on plot and other devices.

On the negative side, however, the piece suffers from a lack of explanation about the rise of the hero

and his previous downfall. The concept of the newly-defined heroism is not dealt with very

thoroughly, thus making it hard for readers to relate it to the discussion of the visual elements. The

candidate’s language sometimes trips her up and prevents a full exploration of the theme e.g. p. 1:

“With the help of lighting, settings and heavy [sic] plot, falls [sic] of Batman, which are contributed

[sic] by his fragility, are elaborately depicted.” There is some detailed analysis of the character of

Bruce Wayne (calling him ‘Bruce’ sounds overly-familiar, though), and some comparison with other

Batman films, but the reader who has not seen the whole series will struggle to appreciate the

significance of the moments highlighted in the analysis.

The candidate touches on some cinematic aspects, which is laudable, but these sometimes confuse

as much as clarify. The screen shots are mostly illustrative of what the candidate is talking about,

not merely decorative, but the film is dark and so the details are not easy to see.

The list of references is fine but there is no in-text referencing so we do not know which information

came from where.

On the whole, this analysis mostly fulfils the task requirements.

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level 4 exemplars and comments paper 1 sample 1: section c ... · analytical study/review: the dark...

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