LAUGH TRACKmagazine

LARRY DEAN, SUSIE MCCABE, Robin GRAINGER, THE ROAST OF JUSTIN BIEBER,DEALING WITH HECKLERS, GLASGOW COMEDY FESTIVAL PREVIEW

ISSUE 1, MARCH 2015

ALSO INSIDE...

BURNISTOUNIS BACK!

ROBERT FLORENCE SPEAKSAHEAD OF THE SOLD OUT

LIVE SHOW

contents

ROBERT FLORENCE

LARRY DEAN

SUSIE MCCABE

ROBIN GRAINGER

GLASGOW COMEDY FESTIVAL PREVIEW

THE COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST OF JUSTINBIEBER

DEALING WITH THE HECKLER

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EDITOR

Hey,

First of all, thanks very much for taking thetime to read this. That applies for differentreasons really. Initially, the editors page -well....who ever has the time to read that?I mean, you’ve got the magazine and already identified what you want to readsomewhere in the front to middle sectionthat caught your eye. Am I right? And Iguess I don’t blame you. I managed to getsome great interviews with some reallyfunny comedians, that I hope will makeyou laugh just as much as I did.

Burnistoun star Robert Florence issomeone whose show has had me instiches on more than one occassion and itwas brilliant to get the chance to catch upwith him at the Glasgow IMAX where hewas involved with his gaming event, aspart of the Glasgow Film Festival.

Of course it’s not the only festivalaround these parts of late. March bringswith it the Glasgow Comedy Festival, witha vast range of shows and events to keepcomedy fans busy....as long as you wearboth a raincoat and sunglasses to face upto the notorious and ever-changingGlaswegian weather. But it’s an excitingtime to be in the city for the comedyscene. I wanted to speak to some of thebest comedians the festival has to offer

ahead of their respective shows and havealso got Larry Dean, Susie McCabe andRobin Grainger in this issue, whose inter-views I hope you will enjoy. There’s also features inside where I preview the festival itself, eagerly anticipate the Comedy Central roast ofJustin Bieber (....I know), and also talkabout an awkward situation for a man on afirst date at a particular stand up gig thatdidn’t quite go to plan......ouch.But before all that, you’ve got thispage.......(stifles a yawn). Yes I know, Iknow, but hear me out. I’m a third yearJournalism student at the University of theWest of Scotland right now. We had beengiven the task to publish a short magazineon any topic we wanted. I’m a great comedy fan and so for me, this was aneasy choice to make. Coincidentally, thiswas exactly the kind of thing I have beenwanting to do for quite some time. Finally,it has happened. So I really hope youenjoy this very first issue of “Laugh Track”and thank you for reading.

Lewis McKenzieEditor

ROBERTFLORENCE

THE STAR OF HIT SCOTSSHOW, BURNISTOUN,TALKS TAKING TO THESTAGE, WRITING, FILM-MAKING AND WHAT LIESAHEAD...

It was announced that Burnistoun is coming back for a one-off special. Are you lookingforward to getting back to doing that for television and do you have anything planned forthe fans at all?

Yeah, definitely looking forward to it. I think particularly looking forward to it because it’s going tobe quite different from the telly series, so we’re shooting it in a different way. We’re not showing itto an audience so there’s not going to be any laughter track or anything like that and it’s going tohave more of a, not documentary feel, but slightly more shot in a more realistic way. So we’re kindof changing it up and making it more different from the telly series. So, mainly looking forward tothat; to just doing the stuff in a different way and to try and put a new spin on stuff.

You have the Burnistoun live show coming up. Do you approach performing for that in thesame way as you you approach it for television?

No, I think it will be different. I mean, when we’re planning the live show, we’re constantly thinkingabout what people are wanting to see and hear, so we’ve got quite a big focus on trying to getsketches that people like and get characters that people like. And also, just because you’re doingit in front of a live audience, it’s just a different style of performance anyway because you’re having to hopefully, fingers crossed, leave breaks for people to laugh and stuff like that, so it willbe different, a completely different way of preparing for this thing I would say.

Firstly, congratulations on Burnistoun the live show selling out, it’s a really great achieve-ment. That follows on from the sell out success of Still Game. Do you think that really sayssomething about the public appetite for live Scottish comedy?

I think people like going to gigs. I think people just like live performances and I think that peoplelike a night out and comedy is a good fit for that kind of stuff as well. So I do think it’s a good thingto do, to do comedy live and people seem to have an appetite for it. I think as well that Glasgow’sa city for people that like going to things. So I think it’s all to that.

And do you think that there is some sort of sense of pride when crowds get behind home-grown comedic talent?

I think it’s definitely that thing of speaking people’s language a wee bit and doing the sort of stuffthat they find funny because Scottish people are still quite under-represented on television andthings like that, so I think that when there is stuff that just talks like we talk, it’s always a thingthat’s quite easy to get behind.

“Burnistoun: Live and for real!”, on Wednesday 25th March, at theKing’s Theatre, is sold out

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As well as performing, you’ve done a lot of writing. Do you prefer being able to performyour own jokes and get the laughs for it or seeing someone else perform them and getthem?

I wouldn’t put it exactly like that, but I prefer writing definitely to performing. But that’s purely be-cause I’ve always loved writing, I really love writing. I like performing but I love writing and I wouldalways write first, before anything else and I think, particularly, I’m going to move away from per-forming a bit to focus on writing and directing. But writings my favourite and it’s good when you’rewriting for good performers as well.

You’ve been involved in not just one, but two festivals - the Glasgow Film Festival and alsothe Glasgow Comedy Festival. Do you enjoy having that sense of variation in your work?

Yeah definitely, it is a good thing that you can go and do the film stuff and the comedy stuff andthe games stuff. The hard thing is that sometimes it all happens at once. Quite often, in the firsthalf of the year, I’m absolutely rammed with stuff and then the second half of the year is a bitdead. So that can be a bit odd. But it’s good, it is good being able to focus on a different thingevery day almost. I mean, it’s the way I need to structure my day - where one day I’m writing thisand the next, I’m working on something else. It’s just a constant switch through stuff.

You also produced a film, House of Him, on a £1,000 budget. How was that to be involvedin?

That was great. The film was great to do because it’s something I’d always wanted to do and hadcomplete control over it. I think that’s what I want to move into. I’m planning on making anotherfilm and I’ll just keep doing that stuff. Hopefully that’s what I will move completely into over time.

Your film was within the horror genre. Do you plan to stay in this or wish to move into others?

I’m happy to stay in the horror genre for a few. I like doing horror stuff so I’ve got no plans to doanything outside horror/sci-fi type stuff for a wee while yet.

“The live show will be different...we’re constantlythinking about what people are wanting to see and

hear”

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lARRY DEANThe glasgow-born “scottish comedian of the year2013” winner returns to his hometown to play thefestival ...

You started to make your way into comedy back in 2008. When did you first develop aninterest in this and how did you get started?

I didn't actually start stand up until 2010, in 2008 and 2009 I ran a comedy night when I was atUni in Southampton, so it took me two years to have the balls to actually do it. It made it eas-ier though as it meant I could just go on at my own show rather than having to rely on otherpromoters giving me gigs all the time, as most of them wouldn't have wanted to at that time.As like anyone who has first started stand up...I was pretty awful.

Did your participation in the Chortle Student Comedy Awards help to hone your talents as a comedian? Was it a nerve-wracking experience at that stage and do you have any advice now youwould have given to yourself, looking back on it? 

Nah, I went out in the first round to be honest, haha. All gigs when you first start are nerve-wracking and the only way of getting over it is to do more. The advice I would have given my-self back then is to stop doing so much crude material, everyone likes a dirty jokeoccasionally...my set back then was just overloaded with it though.

Having performed far and wide, is it pleasing to get to come back to your hometown,Glasgow, to perform?

I love performing in Glasgow as the audiences want you to do well and are always up for it.The thing I hate though is that sometimes friends and family come into my gigs, despite mespecifically asking them not to. It’s weird how I consider stand up comedy as my "private life".So if all my friends and family could stop trying to get into my gigs it would be perfect!

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How does the Glasgow ComedyFestival compare to others thatyou've been involved with?

It’s great as its not over saturatedlike other festivals are becoming. Alot of comics say it is their favouriteone.

You're on tour in Australia beforeyou come to Glasgow. How do youfind the experience over there anddo you ever feel as though youhave to make any changes to yourcomic approach when performingfor different audiences?

Bit hypocritical of me saying earlieron that I should have done lesscrude material before, as out here(Australia), that’s what I've beendoing a lot of, as that seems to bethe sense of humour. Obviously noteveryones, but most of the peoplecoming to my shows I've found. It’sprobably as they are the only jokesthat are multi national as you don'thave to know about celebrities orpolitics to understand a good cockjoke haha!

You won the Scottish Comedian ofthe Year award. That must havebeen a tremendous feeling foryou?

It was thanks. I don't really havemuch confidence or self-esteem, sothat made me feel a bit better aboutmyself for a few days...then the nextgig I had brought me right back downto earth. 

Is there anything you can sayabout what audiences have tolook forward to ahead of your newshow at the festival this year?

I find it difficult to talk up my ownshows, so probably the end of showwhen everyone can go to the bar andhave another drink haha!

“A lot of comics say that theglasgow comedy festival istheir favourite one...”

“Larry Dean: Out now” is at YesBar,Saturday 28th March, 7:15pm, £5/£4

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SUSIE MCCABETHE COMEDY FESTIVAL IS THE SCENE FOR MCCABE’S SHOW “THEDRUGS DON’T WORK”, BACK AT THE STAND COMEDY CLUB...

You have your show, ‘The Drugs don’twork’, coming up at the Glasgow ComedyFestival. How do you find performing forGlasgow audiences?

I love it. It’s just home. In Edinburgh, you getsuch a mix of international people and stufflike that and here they’re just willing you to dowell and they want you to do well and they justget you and you get them I suppose. It’s great.

Do you ever feel like your act changes atall depending on where you are?

Yes. Absolutely, because if you’re doing here(The Stand, Glasgow), you tend to be lesssweary, or a bit more rounded, it’s a betterperformance. But see if you’re doing a rugbyclub or a football team’s gig or something, youneed to be prepared to get a bit more downand dirty and scrap a bit more. Whereas, ifyou’re doing the Stand, it’s lovely and it’s po-liced, it’s nice. But if you’re doing YesBar, be-cause those audiences are at a later night gig,they tend to be kind of middle class couplesso you can’t be as sweary. You just have totailor it.

In your act, you talk about areas in Glas-gow. Do you enjoy being able to makejokes like that and the audience just get it?

Yeah, I think with the reputation as well withthe football stuff and the kind of bigotry andthe history of the city, I think it travels and Idon’t think it takes you long to be in Glasgow,if you’re not from here, to become aware of it.It’s certainly something that exists and you’recertainly aware of it.

In your show description, it says you;“ponder extreme hypochondria, addictivepersonality and the crazy paranoia we all

suffer.”Can youtell me abit moreaboutthat?

So I sufferfrom anxi-ety really.But it’ssomethingthat’s camelater. It hurtme in mythirties andself-doubtand self-belief. Ithink it’s sostereotypi-cal of a co-median tosit and saythat but itcertainlyseems tobe synony-mous with being able to stand up on a stageand needing the love of strangers. I think thatthe paranoia and the self-belief is in your abil-ity, of what you can do and what you canachieve. I think there’s also a Scottish thingwhere you shouldn't ‘rise about your station’and should keep your head down, get on withit, don’t dream. You’ll have dreams but thenthere’s real life. So I think that kind of filtersdown to your consciousness as well. And myextreme hypochondria is just ridiculous. Theother morning I woke up - I’d been giggingand I woke up for my day job - and you know,when you’re really tired and your eyes can bereally gritty and really sore? I woke up and

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and said to my partner, “I can’t see! I think I’veactually went blind!” and she was like, “Youjust need some Saline solution.” Which is ex-actly what I needed and I can now see per-fectly! But that is kind of ridiculous and itstems from all of that. It’s mental.

How much of a comedian being on stage isthem being themselves as opposed tobeing a performer?

Yeah I think it’s a version of them. Personally,it’s definitely a version of me. A version of methat doesn't have that anxiety and that para-noia. When I see myself on stage, if I’vefilmed a show and stuff, I look so at ease andyou wouldn't believe that I suffer. The week ofmy solo show will be horrible, the day of thesolo show is just a write-off - I probably won’tsleep for a week and a half before it. But whenI looked back on last year’s show and I seehow happy I am, on stage and just having alaugh and so relaxed that it’s definitely a ver-sion of you. Because you’re kind of untouch-able almost, because people are coming withyou on the laughs, so you just go with it. Andthere’s an untouchable-ness there becauseyou’ve said to them, “give me money, I willmake you laugh,” which is a hugely arrogant,almost, thing to do and then to suddenly comeback and be like, “please laugh, pleaselaugh,” and then they laugh and you think, “Ican take this wherever I want,” so there’s anelement of that as well.

And what can fans expect from yourshow?

Well, there’ll be a lot of reference to underagenonsense that you get up to and then for me,there’s going to be elements where I talkabout depression, I talk about anxiety - talkingabout the effects that had on my partner andliving with someone like that, and how wetreat that in this country - like some of the stuffthat doctors and nurses and counsellors havesaid to me and you’re like, “You’re a health-care professional. If my leg was hanging off,you wouldn't say ‘it’ll just clear up itself’, be-cause it won’t clear up itself and you don'ttreat this as an illness and it should be treated

as an illness. It’s a very personal show fromthat perspective, it’s very much my experienceof it because everyones experience is differ-ent - some people medicate every day, I don’t,but we’re all different and I don't know if theresa right or wrong answer and I kind of explorethat and look at how easy it is for doctors toturn round and be like, “ah, you’ll be fine”.

And in a venue, such as the Stand, whichis a small venue with the audience veryclose to the performer - how do you feelthat compares to playing in larger venues?Do you prefer playing in smaller venues?

Yep, every day of the week. It is the bestvenue. That’s how you want your comedy tobe - you want a low ceiling, you want every-body really close together, you don't want anyspaces, you want people around the wall,down the bar….the thing is, if you're standingat the bar drinking and you're laughing, andyou're relaxed and you're getting drunk, thatpermeates through the room and it’s such atogetherness. You're taking all of those peopleon a journey, even if they're not really intowhat you're saying, they're still listening towhat you're saying, they're coming with you.You get people who aren't laughers - like, I’mnot particularly a big laugher, at stuff on TV orstuff in movies, but I can sit and enjoy some-one and find it really funny. And you wantthose people to be there and the people wholaugh, to laugh and just go with it. There’s acloseness that you've all shared somethingthat night because there’s certain things thatonly happen on a stage, on a particular nightwith that particular person, in the audience,with that particular compere whose reallyquick and that's the magic of it, because if youcome down the next week with the same peo-ple in the room, you can’t recreate that. It’s notlike you go and see Kylie at the Hydro andthen you go and see her at the O2 in London -it’s the same show. There’s very little change.But with that, you want a close, personal con-nection and the closer you can get to the audi-ence and they can get to you, I think the betterit makes the night.

“Susie McCabe: The Drugs don’t work” is at TheStand, Thursday 26th March, 7:30pm, £8/7susie mccabe at the stand comedy club, glasgow,

photo by katherine mcginness6

ROBINGRAINGER

THE STAND UP BRINGSHIS NEW SHOW, “LIVEAND GRAINGEROUS”,TO THE GLASGOWCOMEDY FESTIVAL...

How long have you been doing stand upcomedy and what was it that first made youwant to get involved?

I started in late 2010. I have always lovedstandup comedy and I didn't possess the usualtalents growing up; I wasn't good at football orspeaking to girls so my only redeemable qualityseemed to be making people laugh. I'm also acomedy nerd so I'd always be reading up on it,watching standup specials and talking aboutwanting to try it. It seemed mesmerising and ter-rifying in equal measure that one person couldturn ideas into a room full of laughing people. Inever thought I'd actually do it but I was at col-lege studying acting and decided to go for it andit's been a laugh ever since. Those reasons re-ally. And a need for the approval of strangers.

Growing up, did you have any comedic influences or someone you aspired to belike?

I watched a Billy Connolly video, the Bill HicksSane Man special and Richard Pryor Live InConcert when I was really young and can't re-member laughing harder. I wanted to do that.

You have a show coming up in the GlasgowComedy Festival. How do you find performing in Glasgow and how does the festival com-pare to other festivals?

Glasgow Festival is brilliant as it offers a range of opportunities from seeing a TV comic doing theirtour show to being able to see the hugely talented circuit acts in Scotland. From a comic's point ofview the festival allows everyone to get more stage time, whether it be new acts getting more gigsunder their belt, or acts like me being able to do longer sets and solo shows. Also, Glasgow audi-ences are amazing to play to; if they don't like something, you'll know and if they like you, theylove you.

In the description for your show, "Live and Graingerous", it says that it involves, 'hilariousobservations about family, teenage angst and relationships'.Do you take a lot of your comedy from personal experiences you've had over the years?

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Pretty much all of my material is true or stems from something that actually happened because it'sjust funnier if it's real. I think if it's true, you believe in it and you will relate it to an audience betterand they'll believe in it. I loved that Richard Pryor could take horrific and tragic events in his life,like setting himself on fire, or having a heart attack and turn it into a beautifully funny routine. Theold adage of "Tragedy + Time = Comedy" works; if something embarrassing happens, it'll be funnyeventually and you have to share it with your friends. No one wants to hear that you've had anamazing day. That's not funny.

I've spoken to other comedians who have said that they prefer playing smaller venues, withthe audience close to the stage. Do you prefer smaller or larger venues for your comedy?

As long as the audience are close to the stage and everyone in the room knows that a comedyshow is happening, it should be ok. The Stand is the template for how all venues should be I think.In terms of audience capacity I prefer lots of people because it makes audience members feel lessself conscious and more inclined to join in and have fun. Also, if you do a gig to 200 people andonly 50% laugh, that's still a decent number of people but if you do a gig to 8 people and only 50%laugh, that's awful. The sound of 4 individual people laughing is terrifying.

What can fans expect ahead of your upcoming show at the festival and do you have a lotplanned for this year?

The show will be a big, funny mix of daft stories and my half-hearted opinions about things. Andabout a guy who tried to sell me a chameleon in Johannesburg. It'll be a laugh so buy a ticket.After the festival I will be gigging as usual, taking the show to a festival in Elgin on May 30th, thendoing tour support in theatres in April then gearing up for a month of gigs and alcohol poisoning atthe Edinburgh Festival in August.

“Robin Grainger: Live and Graingerous” as at The Admiral Bar,Thursday 19th March, 9:30pm, £5/£4

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A LaughTRack

GUIDE toTHE...

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FOR comedy fans, the Stand comedy club is a venue whose name resonates acrossthe comedy spectrum. Having started in 2000, the club has played host to a widenumber of names who have taken to the stage over the years. So it seems rather fit-ting that it is the Stand with which this story starts and from where the festival spawned. With the popularity of the club in the city and shows seven nightsa week, it was two years after opening, in 2002, that the idea of a festival was suggested. With the success of the Stand and Glasgow’s reputation as a city with astrong sense of humour, it made sense. In March 2003, a pilot festival was held, withorganisation from the city council. Needless to say, it turned out to be a smash hitand, as the old cliche goes, the rest is history...

Now, the Festival is back for its 13th year and can now lay claim to over 40 venues,with over 300 shows across 18 days. Certainly, no matter what your sense of humour is, there is something for everybody during the Festival.

a brief history

The stand, glasgowphoto by katherine mcginness

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pick of thefestival

LAUGH TRACK PICKS OUT SOME OF THE SHOWS TOKEEP YOUR EYE OUT FOR DURING THE GLASGOW

COMEDY FESTIVAL...JIMMY CARR: FUNNY BUSINESS*DATE: 13th/14th MARCH @ 8PM*VENUE: CLYDE AUDITORIUM*TICKETS: £28JIMMY Carr returns to Glasgow with “Funny Business”, bringing his razor sharp wit, quick delivery and clever puns to audiences once more.The host of 8 out of 10 cats will offer up his ownmusings on the human condition during hisshow....oh, and also make a few knob gags.JOSIE LONG: CARA JOSEPHINE*DATE: 18TH MARCH @ 7:30PM*VENUE: THE STAND COMEDY CLUB*TICKETS: £12/£10THE writer and comedian, an Oxford Universitygraduate in English, was nominated for the Edinburgh comedy award three years running; in2010, 2011 and 2012. In “Cara Josephine”, Longexamines why past relationships have gone badly,mixed in with clever social references.

BLACK BOOKS and Shaun of the Dead star DylanMoran takes to the stage on the Glasgow riversidewith his classic brand of deadpan, Irish humour toround off his tour of Scotland following trips toDundee, Aberdeen, Perth and Inverness.

dylan moran: off the hook*DATE: 18TH MARCH @ 8PM*VENUE: CLYDE AUDITORIUM*TICKETS: £25/£23

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Tickets for events can be purchased on theGlasgow Comedy site or the ticket hotline

simon amstell: to be free*DATE: 18th march @ 8PM*VENUE: CITIZENS THEATRE*TICKETS: £23/£21

STEWART LEE: A ROOM WITH A STEW*DATE: 19TH MARCH @ 8PM*VENUE: CLYDE AUDITORIUM*TICKETS: £22.50

richard herring: lord of thedance settee*DATE: 19th MARCH @ 7:30PM*VENUE: The stand comedy club*TICKETS: £15

STAND UP FOR MND*DATE: 23RD MARCH @ 7:30PM*VENUE: KING’S THEATRE*TICKETS: £20/£15

FORMERLY a host of ‘Never Mind the Buzzcocks’,Amstell takes a searingly honest approach to hisstand up routine, in which he looks to explore freedom, joy, love, death, adventure, art, peace,sex, regret, success, eating, suffering, dreaming,healing, forgiving and other areas.

THE “Official 41st best stand up ever”, brings hissold out tour to Glasgow with his trademark comicstyle, in preparation for his next BBC 2 series. Tenyears marks the date of his live show, “ Stand upComedian”, which was filmed for release at theStand Comedy Club, Glasgow.

A PARNTER in crime of Stewart Lee, Richard Herring also performs in Glasgow with his show,“Lord of the Dance Settee”, a show about daftnessfollowing on from previous musings about death,love and religion.

Frankie Boyle joins a whole host of comedians forthis special gig event to raise funds for MNDScotland. Other acts include Stewart Francis,Janey Godley, Gary Little and Patrick Monahanwith more to be announced.

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the comedycentral roast

of justinbieber

MANY HAVE AWAITED THIS MOMENT. THE TIME IS NOW FOR...

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the comedy central roast of justin bieberWELL, HE WANTED IT AND HE GOT IT. THERE WILL BE MANY LINING UPWHO HAVE PLENTY TO SAY. STRAP YOURSELVES IN AND WRITE DOWNTHE DATE...monday march 30th, bieber gets roasted...

OF ALL of the roasts done on Comedy Central, this must surely be one ofthe most eagerly anticipated.For those unfamiliair with the concept of a“roast”, the idea is that a figure in the publiceye, a celebrity - preferably one who has behaved in ways that could be seen to

draw public ire - is selected.First step complete. Then, assemble a castof other celebrities, including severalcomedians to agree to come along to a

venue together. Step two. Having doneboth these things, the madness can begin.What follows is absolute, no-holds barredhilarity. Never mind spats in the media orpublicised Twitter arguments, in a roast,anything goes. Jokes are centred mainlyaround the person being roasted, withlaughter at their expense. However no oneis ever really safe and the roasters tend toalso take swipes at each other as well. Nodoubt about it, it’s a fun occassion.

Celebrities in the past that have been therecipients of a roast include James Franco,Charlie Sheen, Donald Trum, William Shatner and David Hasselfoff, amongst others. Although there is a particularinterest in the roast of the “Biebs”.

Although the 21 year old pop star is adoredby fans across the world, there are also alot who find him the most annoying piece ofshit in existence. Get your boxing glovesout. Thankfully for the roasters, they will notbe short of material to aim at him. Whetherit’s egging neighbour’s houses, trying tofight the paparazzi, spitting on fans, turningup late for shows or being arrested by police, despite his youth, the singer still hasa backlog already built up of material to beused against him. In a promotional videoahead of the roast, a regular fixture atroasts, comedian Jeff Ross features alongside Bieber in a parody of themusician’s Calvin Klein commercial. Ross

takes the place of model Lara Stone,

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wearing a blonde wig, harassing a shirtless Justin and telling him; “I want you, Justin....I wannastick my pinky in your asshole. I’m a Belieber,” the clip ending with Bieber asking, “Who is thisguy?” and Ross replying, “Hey man, I’m your worst nightmare.” The blades are being sharp-ened. At the time of going to press, the line-up had just been announced for the roast, including;

* Hannibal Buress* Chris D’Elia* Snoop Dogg* Nathasha Leggero* Ludacris* Shaquille O’Neal* Jeffrey Ross* Martha Stewart

Below, Laugh Track takes a look at some of the best quotes from celebrity Bieber haters...

“All jokes aside,Justin Bieber is a

piece of shit”

“I shouldn’t be sayingthis, but he’s kind of a

brat”

"I’m not f**kingJustin Bieber, youmotherf**kers!"

“He's rich right? TheGrammys are...formusic and not for

money”

“Before I try to beatup the paparazzi I

make sure my mascara is perfect!”

“He’s a f*ckingidiot...it’s weird how

he’s going back topranks from 1950”

SETH ROGEN

billie joe armstrong

Drake BELL

MARG HELGENBERGER

patrick carney

joel mchale

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the comedy central roast of justin bieberJustin bieber isn’t the first celebrity to have been roasted.here are some of the highlights from previous roasts...

the roast of james franco (2013)roastmaster: seth rogen

Nick Kroll: "Just remember, if anyonebombs here tonight, they're just doing an im-pression of James Franco at the Oscars."

Sarah Silverman: "I don't think JamesFranco is necessarily gay or straight. I thinkhe literally can't open his eyes enough tosee who he's f**king."

JONAH HILL: "Who is the real James Franco?Is he an artist? Is he an actor? Is he ascholar? He's tough to pin down; althoughI've heard many guys have been able to doit."

james franco: “I think this is truly my punishment for the Oscars.”

jeff ross: “This lineup is so pathetic, I washoping I’d get replaced by Ashton Kutcher.”

seth macfarlane: "Honestly, Charlie, Inever thought I would live to see the nightthat you would live to see this night."

patrice o’neal: "Jeff Ross is a legend. Hisfunniness is a legend. But when I say 'leg-end,' I mean a myth."

william shatner: “Charlie, I'm 80 years old.You're, what, 47? How come we look like wewent to high school together?”

charlie sheen: “When I did Ferris Bueller,my first line in the movie was "Drugs?" Ithought they were asking me how I wantedto be paid.”

the roast of charlie sheen (2011)roastmaster: seth macfarlane

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the roast of donald trump (2011)roastmaster: seth macfarlane

SETH MACFARLANE: "Please welcome thesecond worst tragedy ever to hit New YorkCity...ladies and gentlemen, Donald. J.Trump"

WHITNEY CUMMINGS "I don't even knowwhere to start. I guess I'll start with LarryKing, because, I don't know...tick tock."

marlee matlin: “I guess I'm the perfectchoice for this roast, because like "The Situ-ation," I, too, have never heard the sound of laughter."

larry king: “My good friend Snoop Doggsaid that Jeff’s (Ross) book was unreadable,but that's because Snoop can't read”

the roast of david hasselhoff (2010)roastmaster: seth macfarlane

jeff ross: "It's kind of ironic that you mademillions playing a lifeguard, because everynight you drown in your own sorrows."

pamela anderson: “How can we possiblydo a roast without Jeffrey Ross? No, seri-ously. How can we do a roast without JeffreyRoss"

whitney cummings: “David Hasselhoff,George Hamilton, Hulk Hogan...I think ifwe've learned anything tonight, it's that self-tanner causes you to fail in the entertain-ment business”

GILBERT GOTTFRIED: (On Seth Macfarlane)"It's got to be difficult for him to do a roast,especially because The Simpsons haven'tdone it yet.”

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dealing withthe heckler...they can be loud, they can be rude....

but they can be dealt with...

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THE HECKLERSEVERY COMEDIAN GETS THEM. MANY SAY IT ACTS AS A LEARNING CURVE. BUTWHAT IS REALLY THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH A HECKLER? .....

“it’s my first date with Lorraine....it’s notgoing well!” - a tweet sent by one comedy fan tocomedian Richard Herring during his stand upshow, “Lord of the Dance Settee”, in Chorley. What is the significance of this? You may ask.Well, Herring soon tweeted an explanation ofexactly what had transpired;

Awkward. Well, there’s certainly a reason whyat comedy, unlike music or other, gigs, thereisn’t always a rush for tickets that are locatedright at the front of the stage. Some comedianschoose to interact with members of the audi-ence more than others do. Frankie Boyle, forexample, regularly will berate fans within hiseyesight for comic effect. However sometimesthe reverse will be true and it will be the come-dian who has to deal with some unwanted inter-action with someone inside the venue. Althoughit does not seem to be as much of a problemthese days for established comedians playing inlarger venues where ticket prices are consider-able, hecklers are still out there. And there prob-ably has not been any comedian in theircomedy career who has not had to deal with itat some point or another. In this particular in-stance, the heckler in question took issue with

jokes Herring was making about religion, ques-tioning why he did not do more material similarto that of Peter Kay. In his blog, Herring ex-plained; “She was quite intent on making hercomplaints known and she wanted me to giveher the mic, but I wasn’t daft enough to do that,though it might have been entertaining. It wasonly at the end of the first half that I thought toask if she’d been alone or had come with any-one, as she had been the only one to leave. Aman sheepishly put up his hand and said hehad been with her and I wondered why hehadn’t left. ‘We were on a first date,’ he told me,which made us all laugh even more. I admittedthat I had probably ruined his chances, but thatit might have been a lucky escape'.Whatever your gripe, no doubt about it - come-dians are not fans of being heckled. Have a browse on YouTube and you will veryquickly find several examples of comediansstanding off against hecklers at various gigsthey have performed. It can be in equal parts hilarious and excruciatingly awkward. Some comedians, such as Jimmy Carr, eventake delight in dealing with hecklers and activelyencourage it. Others, really hate it. For reference, look up BillBurr’s stand up performance in Philadelphia.The Boston comedian was part of a comedyconcert called, “Opie and Anthony’s TravelingVirus in Philadelphia”. Five words to sum-marise? Don’t mess with Bill Burr. Having wit-nessed the two comedians before him getbooed off of the stage, Burr ripped into the audi-ence after they started booing again as soon ashe came on. During his 11 minute long set, heused every one to lay into the crowd and criti-cise them, seeing his entire time out rather thanwalking off stage in an attempt to deliberatelyantagonise them. So, it isn’t all plain sailing when it comes to co-medians versus hecklers and it can become arather tense affair.In his TV series, ‘Louie’, Louis CK plays out a

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scene in a sketch where his character (verymuch a close version of himself), interacts witha heckler at the Comedy Cellar. The scene in-volves a woman sitting next to the stage andLouie growing increasingly irritated by her con-tinually talking and ends up with him finallysnapping at her and calling her out for it. As hi-larious as the sketch was, it is apparent thatthere was still a genuine point being made un-derneath it all. Within it, Louis put the pointacross to the heckler that to talk during a showis rude and completely disturbs the enjoymenteveryone gets from the performance. He also spoke up for the less es-tablished comedians out there who don’t per-form for money in front of large crowds, butpurely for their own love of comedy and per-forming stand-up and getting that short periodof time from out of their working week to dosomething that really means a lot. Dave Chappelle was the unfortuante victim of aheckler back in 2013 during one of his stand uptours. There were calls from the audience toperform one of his old jokes, which Chappelletold them he did not want to do. The crowd thenturned on him and began to boo. Chappelle toldthem; “You’re booing yourself. I want you to gohome and look in the mirror and say ‘Boo’. Re-member, that’s how I feel about you.” After thebooing continued, Chappelle replied; “Ah, f*ckyou. I'm the one that has to get the review in thepaper tomorrow. I'll have to read about this shit

for months. And the next time, I go on televisionand they interview me and they say, 'Why'd yougo back to Africa, I'm not gonna say Hartforddid it.”Although it does seem that heckling is not per-haps as common as it used to be, when it does happen, it appears to be a far more personal in-cident against comedians that people may re-alise. In venues where, either, people have paida significant amount of money for a ticket or it isa venue specifically set up for a comedy per-formance, the threat of heckling can be min-imised. Although in places such as bars where the audi-ence has not necessarily gone there to watchthe comedian perform, there seems to be lessof a respect for the performance. Such is thenature of stand-up, unlike a music concert, talk-ing can be overheard throughout the room.However essentially, both must surely be giventhe same amount of respect and appreciationfor what they are - artistic performances. Ultimately, people will always just be peopleand so it seems impossible for anyone to everhave any hope that hecklers will one day be anon-existent part of comedy performances. Soin the meantime, we can all just hope that thecomedians out there continue to handle them tothe best of their ability, in some of the most hi-larious ways possible in order to continue toamuse us. We salute you.

A scene in “louie” where louis ck deals with a heckler at his performance at the comedy cellar , New york

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LAUGH TRACKmagazineISSUE 1, MARCH 2015

THANK YOU FOR READING THE FIRST ISSUE OF LAUGH TRACKMAGAZINE.

A THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED MAKE THIS ISSUEPOSSIBLE:

KATHERINE MCGINNESS (photographer), robert florence, larry dean, susie mccabe and robin

grainger