keys to developing habits that ease tensions, build ... communication’s hidden dimensions . keys...
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Seeing Communication’s Hidden Dimensions
Keys to Developing Habits that Ease Tensions, Build Relationships
Carol C. Shuherk PhD Senior Associate Provost
University of Rochester
June 10th, 2015
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Intent versus Impact
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Intent Impact
That’s Not What I Said!! …Or Is It??
INTENT: Where are you on the project? IMPACT: What’s taking you so long? INTENT: I can help you complete that IMPACT: I don’t trust you to do it right INTENT: How long will your mother be with us? IMPACT: I dread having that woman in my home
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Key: The intent of a message rarely matches its impact
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
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Key: We perceive the world through the lens of our expectations
The Hidden Dimension of Communication
Observation
Interpretation
Conclusion
Four More Years
Letters to the Editor
Reader #1 Do you have to be
so cut and dry…..couldn’t you be a little bit celebratory?
Reader #2 Is it your role to be
celebratory? I prefer my news to be objective.
Kansas City Star, November 2008
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Key: Selective Perception has Pitfalls
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Distorted Lens
Recency Error Representative Error
Attribution Error Rumination Error
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The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
We do not see things as they are We see things as we are
Anais Nin
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Key: All Communication has Two Levels of Meaning
The Hidden Dimension of Communication
Content Meaning Relationship Meaning
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals
Content
Process
Relationship
Identity
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals
Content Expressed
Process Expressed
Relationship Felt
Identity Felt
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals
Content 4th priority What is the
subject matter for discussion?
Process 3rd priority: How do we go
about discussing this?
Relationship 2nd priority: How do I want to be treated in this relationship?
Identity 1st priority: How can I
preserve my self-concept, my self esteem?
Sorting out Intent, Perception, Meaning, Goals
You’re in a meeting with staff, working on a plan for reporting safety issues; you want a system
that is replicable and easy to use. There’s never been a consistent approach. You start to say “The reason why I want this is…” and the
most senior staffer cuts in. She snorts, rolls her eyes upward and says, “I don’t know WHY you
do the things you do.” This public sarcasm is a pattern with her
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The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
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The Power Continuum
Communication and Influence: Power
Either/Or---------------------------Both/And
The only morally defensible
relationship is one between equals anonymous
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Communication Influence: Power
Power Play: Passive Aggression
Dominating Power Styles Beget--- Resistance: Strategic Incompetence Feigned Misunderstanding Selective Amnesia Purposeful Procrastination Tactical Tardiness Equalizing Power Styles Beget---
Responsiveness
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Communication and Power
Power Currencies
Expertise Resource Control
Interpersonal Linkages Communication Skill
Calm Persistence
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Communication and Influence
Five Approaches to Getting People to do What You Want them to Do
Autocratic: You decide
Autocratic/Sales: You solicit input, then decide
Consultative: You solicit input, decide, and explain
Consensual: You facilitate a group decision
Group Derived: You give it to the group to decide
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Communication and Personal Leadership Style
How Can I Get People to Comply?
Key Questions in determining approach:
Can I insure quality? ---do I have all the needed information? ---are others committed to the goal? ---is this a clear cut or complex matter?
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Communication and Personal Leadership Style
How Can I Get People to Comply?
Key Questions in determining approach:
Can I ensure acceptance? ---how critical is acceptance to implementation? ---are there differing views on procedure? ---is everyone committed and able?
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Making people feel genuinely listened to
Communication, Power, and Leadership Style
What is the Greatest of Communication Skill of all?
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Communication, Power, and Leadership Style
What are the Tools of Good Listening?
Level I: Nonverbal Attentiveness
Level II: Content Reflection
Level III: Content & Feeling Reflection
Genuineness
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Communication, Power, and Leadership Style
What are the Habits That Can Ease Tension and Build Relationships?
Mindfulness
(of the complexities that lie below the surface)
Conscious Flexibility (adapting style to audience in order to influence)
Active Listening (exercising Level III listening daily)
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Seeing Communication’s Hidden Dimensions
Keys to Developing Habits that Ease Tensions, Build Relationships
Carol C. Shuherk PhD Senior Associate Provost
June 10th, 2015