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Juno Script This is a version of http://www.foxsearchlight.com/awards/scripts/juno.pdf as it looked when our crawler examined the site on 2/16/2008. The page you see below is the version in our index that was used to rank this page in the results to your recent query. This is not necessarily the most recent version of the page - to see the most recent version of this page, visit the page on the web. Live.com is not affiliated with the content nor parties responsible for the page displayed below. JUNO Juno Script.fdr JUNO By Diablo Cody file:///C|/Documents%20and%20Settings/Office/My%20Documents/Airfare%20bookings/Juno%20Script.htm (1 of 146) [4/03/2008 9:50:07 PM]

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Page 1: JUNO - iiNetmembers.iinet.net.au/~murrayoliver/info1/scripts/features/Juno... · Juno Script REVISED PINK -- FEBRUARY 06, 2007 FULL BLUE-- JANUARY 22, 2007 PRODUCTION WHITE -- JANUARY

Juno Script

This is a version of http://www.foxsearchlight.com/awards/scripts/juno.pdf as it looked when our crawler examined the site on 2/16/2008. The page you see below is the version in our index that was used to rank this page in the results to your recent query. This is not necessarily the most recent version of the page - to see the most recent version of this page, visit the page on the web.

Live.com is not affiliated with the content nor parties responsible for the page displayed below.

JUNO Juno Script.fdr

JUNOBy Diablo Cody

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Juno Script

REVISED PINK -- FEBRUARY 06, 2007FULL BLUE -- JANUARY 22, 2007PRODUCTION WHITE -- JANUARY 12, 2007

Production Office:Dancing Elk Pictures Ltd.214-2400 Boundary RoadBurnaby, BC V5M 3Z3

EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - DUSK1 1

JUNO MacGUFF stands on a placid street in a nondescriptsubdivision, facing the curb. It's FALL. Juno is sixteen yearsold, an artfully bedraggled burnout kid. She winces and shieldsher eyes from the glare of the sun. The object of her raptattention is a battered living room set, abandoned curbside byits former owners. There is a fetid-looking leather recliner, achrome-edged coffee table, and a tasteless latchhooked rugfeaturing a roaring tiger.

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JUNO V.O.It started with a chair.

INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MOLD-O'-RIFFIC BASEMENT- NIGHT2 2

FLASHBACK - Juno approaches a boy hidden by shadow. He'ssitting in an overstuffed chair. She slowly, clumsily lowersherself onto his lap.

A 60's Brazilian track plays from a vintage record player.

WHISPERED VOICEDo you know how long I've wantedthis?

JUNOYeah.

WHISPERED VOICEWizard.

EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - CONTINUED3 3

A DOG barks, jarring Juno back to reality.

JUNOQuiet, Banana. Hey, shut your gobfor a second, okay?

We see a teacup poodle tethered in the yard a few feet awayfrom the abandoned living room set. The dog yaps again.

JUNO (V.O.)This is the most magnificent discardedliving room set I've ever seen.

She swigs from an absurdly oversized carton of juice andwipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

BEGIN ANIMATED TITLE SEQUENCE:

(CONTINUED)

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Juno marching down various street, pumping her arms like ajogger and chugging intermittently from the huge carton ofjuice. We watch her breathlessly navigate suburbia, clearlyon a mission.

OMITTED4 4

OMITTED5 5

EXT. DRUGSTORE - DAY6 6

Finally, a panting Juno arrives at DANCING ELK DRUG on themain drag of her small Minnesota suburb, Dancing Elk.

The automatic doors of the store part to reveal Juno'sflushed serious face. She carelessly flings the empty juicecontainer over her shoulder and onto the curb. A group ofDROPOUTS with skateboards near the entrance glare at her.

She enters the DRUGSTORE.

INT. DRUGSTORE - CONTINUOUS7 7

ROLLO, the eccentric drugstore clerk, sneers at Juno frombehind the counter. He wears a polyester uniform vest.

ROLLOWell, well. If it isn't MacGuff theCrime Dog! Back for another test?

JUNOI think the last one was defective.The plus sign looked more like adivision sign.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 2.CONTINUED:3 3

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Rollo regards her with intense skepticism.

JUNOI remain unconvinced.

Rollo pulls the bathroom key out of reach.

ROLLOThis is your third test today, MamaBear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubtabout it!

An eavesdropping TOUGH GIRL wearing an oversized jacket andlots of makeup gapes at Juno from the beauty aisle.

(CONTINUED)

TOUGH GIRLThree times? Oh girl, you are waypregnant. It's easy to tell. Isyour nipples real brown?

A pile of stolen COSMETICS falls out of the girl's jacket andclatters to the floor.

TOUGH GIRLBalls!

Juno crosses and crosses her legs awkwardly, hopping. It'sobvious she has to use the bathroom urgently.

ROLLOMaybe you're having twins. Maybeyour little boyfriend's got mutantsperms and he knocked you up twice!

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 3.CONTINUED:7 7

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JUNOSilencio! I just drank my weight inSunny D. and I have to go, pronto.

Rollo sighs and slips her the bathroom key. Juno races downone of the aisles.

ROLLOWell, you know where the lavatory is.

(Calling after her) )You pay for that pee stick whenyou're done! Don't think it's yoursjust because you've marked it withyour urine!

JUNOJesus, I didn't say it was.

ROLLOWell, it's not. You're not a lionin a pride!

(to himself)These kids, acting like lions withtheir unplanned pregnancies andtheir Sunny Delights.

INT. DRUGSTORE - BATHROOM - DAY8 8

In the dim, reeking public bathroom, Juno hovers over thecommode with her boxer shorts around her ankles. She clumsilytries to use the pregnancy test.

(CONTINUED)

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We see the test box sitting on the sink. It's a TeenWaveDiscount Pregnancy Test. The accompanying outdated packagephoto is of a shrugging 80s teen with a resigned expression.The fine print on the box reads "From the makers of Sun-GlitzLightening Hair Spritz!"

INT. DRUGSTORE - FRONT COUNTER - DAY9 9

Juno holds the developing test in her hand and slaps the opentest box on the front counter. Rollo scans it and bags itindifferently.

JUNOOh, and this too.

She places a giant licorice Super Rope on the counter.

ROLLOSo what's the prognosis, FertileMyrtle? Minus or plus?

JUNO(examining stick) I don't know.It's not...seasoned yet. Wait. Huh.Yeah, there's that pink plus signagain. God, it's unholy.

She shakes the stick desperately in an attempt to skew theresults. Shake. Shake. Nothing.

ROLLOThat ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. Thisis one doodle that can't be undid,homeskillet.

EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - EVENING10 10

Juno walks slowly and dejectedly up the street to her house,gnawing on the Super Rope. She stops and loops the Super Ropeover a low-hanging tree branch, contemplating how to fashiona noose.

Juno trudges toward her HOUSE. The yard is a wild tangle of

CONTINUED:8 8

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prairie grass and wild flowers.

OMITTED11 11

OMITTED12 12

OMITTED13 13

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - NIGHT14 14

Juno's BEDROOM is decorated with punk posters: The Damned,The Germs, the Stooges, Television, Richard Hell, etc.

She picks up a hamburger-shaped phone to call her bestfriend, LEAH.

OMITTED15 15

OMITTED16 16

INT. LEAH'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT17 17

LEAH's room is cluttered with the sentimental junk thatcertain girls love to hoard. The PHONE rings.

LEAH

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 5.

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(answering phone)Yo-yo-yiggity-yo.

JUNOI am a suicide risk.

LEAHIs this Juno?

JUNONo it's Morgan Freeman. Got anybones that need collecting?

LEAHOnly the one in my pants.

JUNO(in low tones)

Dude, I'm pregnant.

LEAHMaybe it's just a food baby. Didyou have a big lunch?

JUNOIt's not a food baby. I took threepregnancy tests today. I amdefinitely up the spout.

(CONTINUED)

LEAHHow did you even generate enoughpee for three pregnancy tests?

JUNO

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 6.CONTINUED:17 17

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I drank like ten tons of SunnyDelight. Anyway, yeah. I'mpregnant. And you're shockinglycavalier.

LEAHIs this for real? Like for real,for real?

JUNOUnfortunately, yes.

LEAHOh my God! Oh shit! PhuketThailand!

JUNOThat's the kind of emotion I waslooking for in the first take.

LEAHWell, are you going to go toHavenbrooke or Women Now for theabortion? You need a note from yourparents for Havenbrooke.

JUNOI know. Women Now, I guess. Thecommercial says they help women now.

LEAHWant me to call for you? I calledfor Becky last year.

JUNOEh, I'll call them myself. But I doneed your help with something veryurgent.

EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - NIGHT18 18

Leah and Juno struggle to drag a recliner across a well-manicured suburban lawn. They make a formidable team.

LEAHHeavy lifting can only help you at

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this point.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOThat is sick, man.

Leah busts a gut laughing. It's a stunningly accurateportrayal of Bleeker's parents.

LEAHSo, you were bored? Is that howthis blessed miracle came to be?

JUNONah, it was a premeditated act. Thesex, I mean, not getting pregnant.

LEAHWhen did you decide you were goingto do Bleeker?

JUNOLike, a year ago, in Spanish class.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - SPANISH CLASS - DAY - (FLASHBACK)19 19

Bleeker and Juno are sitting at their desks, listening to ateacher lecturing about spanish. Bleeker discreetly pushes aPOSTCARD to Juno with his foot. She picks it up off thefloor, reads it, then looks at Bleeker, who is watching theteacher obediently.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 7.CONTINUED:18 18

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EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - NIGHT20 20LEAH

Aha ! You love him.

JUNOIt's extremely complicated, and I'drather not talk about it in myfragile state.

She hefts a coffee table with her bare hands. She's wearingher father's LIFTING BELT.

LEAHSo, what was it like humpingBleeker's bony bod?

JUNOIt was magnificent, man!

OMITTED21 21

OMITTED22 22

OMITTED23 23

OMITTED23A 23A

INT. BLEEKER'S BEDROOM - MORNING24 24

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 8.

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CU of Bleeker putting on double socks in his Car-Bed.CU of Bleeker putting on his sweat bands.

CU of Bleeker applying Runner's Glide.

INT. KITCHEN - BLEEKER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING25 25

CU of a CROISSANT POCKET warming in the microwave.

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MORNING26 26

PAUL BLEEKER steps onto the front porch of his house forearly morning track practice. He wears a cross countryuniform that reads "DANCING ELK CONDORS." He is eating somekind of microwaved snack gimmick.

Bleeker is startled to discover that Juno is outside waitingfor him. She has somehow arranged the living room set on thefront lawn, and is seated in the armchair, chewing a pipeofficiously.

JUNOHey Bleek.

BLEEKERHey, cool tiger. Looks proud.

JUNOYeah, I swiped it from Ms. Rancick.

BLEEKERCool.

JUNOYour shorts are looking especiallygold today.

BLEEKERMy mom uses color-safe bleach.

(CONTINUED)

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JUNOGo Carole.

(a beat)So, guess what?

BLEEKER(shrugs)

I don't know...

JUNOI'm pregnant.

Stunned silence. Juno pops up the footrest of the reclinerand leans back comfortably.

BLEEKERI guess so.

(fidgeting)What are you going to do?

The Dancing Elk Prep cross country team runs past Bleeker'shouse in a thundering herd, wearing a motley assortment ofwarm-ups. Their momentum stirs the crackling fall leaves.They wave and holler at Bleeker and Juno.

JUNO V.O.When I see them all running likethat, with their things bouncingaround in their shorts, I alwayspicture them naked, even if I don'twant to. I have intrusive thoughtsall the time.

OMITTED27 27

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - CONTINUED28 28

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 9.CONTINUED:26 26

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BLEEKERI'm supposed to be running.

JUNOI know.

There's an awkward silence.

BLEEKERSo, what do you think we shoulddo?

(CONTINUED)

JUNOI thought I might, you know, nip itin the bud before it gets worse.Because I heard in health class thatpregnancy often results in an infant.

BLEEKERYeah, typically. That's whathappens when our moms and teachersget pregnant.

JUNOSo that's cool with you, then?

BLEEKERYeah, wizard, I guess. I mean dowhat you think is right.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 10.CONTINUED:28 28

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JUNOI'm real sorry I had sex with you.I know it wasn't your idea.

BLEEKERWhose idea was it?

JUNOI'll see you at school, O.K.?

She mounts her bicycle and waves before riding off.

BLEEKER(to nobody in particular)Whose idea was it?

EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - DAY29 29

Juno pushes her crappy bike into the bike rack and winds alock around it. In the background, a group of 3 NERDS play alive-action RPG.

NERDYou did not! You don't have thearmor. That Orc Armor you boughtfrom the wizard doesn't have thepower level to parry my hit!

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY29A 29A

Juno tries to push through the masses, but the throng ofstudents is thick and unwielding.

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INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY30 30

Juno rummages through her locker, which is plastered withphotos of Leah and Bleeker, plus a giant poster of Iggy Popin his heyday.

She grabs a dilapidated physics textbook. A few pages slipout. STEVE RENDAZO (the same asshole who harassed her as shewalked to the drugstore) passes by in the hallway.

STEVE RENDAZOHey, your book fell apart!

JUNOYeah.

STEVE RENDAZOIt must have looked at your face.PWAH!

He high-fives his klatch of buddies and moves along.

JUNO V.O.The funny thing is that Steve Rendazosecretly wants me. Jocks like himalways want freaky girls. Girls withhorn-rimmed glasses and veganfootwear and Goth makeup. Girls whoplay the cello and wear Converse All-Stars and want to be children'slibrarians when they grow up. Ohyeah, jocks eat that shit up.

We see Steve looking back at Juno for a brief second withmixed feelings.

JUNO V.O.They just won't admit it, becausethey're supposed to be into perfectcheerleaders like Leah. Who,incidentally, is into teachers.

We see Leah at the far end of the hallway, talking animatedlywith a paunchy middle-aged teacher, KEITH.

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LEAH(from a distance)Me too! I love Woody Allen!

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - SCIENCE LAB - DAY31 31

STUDENTS bustle in, as the teacher, MR. TINKER tries tomaintain order. Juno heads toward her desk and sets down herbag.

MR. TINKERPeople! We're doing ourphotomagnetism lab today, so findyour partner and break out intofours.

Juno looks up and meets eyes with her longtime lab partner:Bleeker. Sound the gong of awkwardness!

Juno and Bleeker head separately over to an available labstation and unpack their bags in silence.

JUNOWell! Nothing like experimenting.

BLEEKERI did the prep questions for thislab last night. You can copy myanswers if you need to.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 12.

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He slides a piece of graph paper in front of Juno withoutlooking at her.

JUNOOh, I couldn't copy your work.

BLEEKERBut you copy my work every week.

JUNOOh yeah. I'm kind of a deadbeat labpartner, huh?

BLEEKERI don't mind. You definitely bringsomething to the table.

JUNOCharisma?

BLEEKEROr something.

The other two LAB PARTNERS, a humorless couple, join them atthe station.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOSo, who's ready for somephotomagnificence?

GIRL LAB PARTNER

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 13.CONTINUED:31 31

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I have a menstrual migraine, and Ican't look at bright lights today.

GUY LAB PARTNERAmanda, I told you to go to theinfirmary and lie down. You neverlisten.

GIRL LAB PARTNERNo Josh, I don't take orders. Notfrom you and not from any man.

GUY LAB PARTNERYou know, you've been acting likethis ever since I went up to see mybrother at Mankato. I told you,nothing happened!

GIRL LAB PARTNERSomething happened. Because youreyes? Are very cold? They're verycold, Josh. They're cold, lying eyes.

GUY LAB PARTNERWhat? My eyes are not lying!

GIRL LAB PARTNERYes they are, Josh. Since Mankato,they have been lying eyes.

Juno and Bleeker observe the argument like tennis spectators,fascinated by the dynamics of a real couple.

BLEEKEROkay...I'm going to set up theapparatus. Juno, want to get a C-clamp out of that drawer?

GIRL LAB PARTNERI'm going to the infirmary.

GUY LAB PARTNERGood. Call me when you're OFF therag.

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(CONTINUED)

GIRL LAB PARTNERFine. Call me when you learn how tolove just one person and not cheatat your brother's college justbecause you had four Smirnoff Icesand a bottle of Snow Peak Peachflavored Boone's!

GUY LAB PARTNERGood, I'll be sure to do that,Amanda. I'll make a note of it.

He furiously scrawls a fake memo in his notebook.

JUNOSnow Peak Peach is the best flavorof Boone's. Right, Bleek?

Bleeker reddens and continues constructing the apparatus.

GIRL LAB PARTNER stalks off dramatically.

Bleeker shakes his head and rifles through his textbook.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON32 32

Juno examines a large ad in the newspaper that depicts adistraught TEEN GIRL clutching her head in a moment of stagedconflict. The ad reads: "Pregnant? Find the clinic that giveswomen choice. Women's Choice Health Center."

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 14.CONTINUED: (2)31 31

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Juno picks up her hamburger phone and dials. For a moment,she attempts to copy the melodramatic pose from the ad,checking herself out in the mirror.

JUNO(talking along with voice prompt)"Para instruciones en Espanol,oprima numero dos."

She presses a few buttons in succession.

JUNOYes, hello, I need to procure a hastyabortion?...What was that? I'm sorry,I'm on my hamburger phone and it'skind of awkward to talk on. It'sreally more of a novelty than afunctional appliance.

She SMACKS the phone a couple of times.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOBetter? Okay, good. Yeah, as I said,I need an abortion, two...sixteen...Um, it was approximatelytwo months and four days ago that Ihad the sex. That's a guestimate.Okay, next Saturday? Great.

She hangs up the phone.

JUNO V.O.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 15.CONTINUED:32 32

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I hate it when adults use the term"sexually active."

INT. HEALTH CLASS - DAY (FLASHBACK)33 33

A HEALTH TEACHER in slo-mo puts a condom on a banana.

JUNO V.O. (CONT'D)What does that even mean? Can Ideactivate someday, or is this apermanent state of being? I guessBleeker went live that night we didit. I guess he hadn't done it before,and that's why he got that look onhis face.

INT. BLEEKER'S HOUSE - MOLD-O'-RIFIC BASEMENT - NIGHT34 34(FLASHBACK)

We see Paulie's face at the moment of his deflowering: he'scomically wide-eyed with shock.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT35 35

Juno, her father MAC, her stepmother BREN, and LIBERTY BELLsit at a very typical kitchen table, eating dinner. MACshovels food while chatting about his day.

MACYou should have seen this octopusfurnace. I had to get out my Hazmatsuit just to get up in there...

JUNO V.O.My dad used to be in the Army, butnow he's just your average HVACspecialist. He and my mom gotdivorced when I was five.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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She lives on a Havasu reservationin Arizona...

PHOTO: ARIZONA TRAILER PARK

JUNO V.O.... with her new husband and threereplacement kids. Oh, and sheinexplicably mails me a cactusevery Valentine's Day.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - DAY36 36

PILE OF NEGLECTED CACTI festering in a corner of Juno's room.

JUNO V.O.And I'm like, "Thanks a heap,Coyote Ugly. This cactus-gramstings even worse than yourabandonment."

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT37 37

BREN is cutting up LIBERTY'S food diligently. Her nails arebrilliant, holding the silverware.

JUNO V.O.That's my stepmom, Bren...

INT. BREN'S WORKROOM - DAY

Bren stitches a needlepoint pillow of a dog.

JUNO V.O.She's obsessed with dogs...

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 16.CONTINUED:35 35

JUNO V.O. (cont'd)

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EXT. BREN'S TENS - DAY38 38

Bren's nail salon in all its glory.

JUNO V.O.... owns a nail salon called Bren'sTens...

INT. BREN'S TENS - DAY39 39

Bren chats up a customer as she applies a fresh coat.

(CONTINUED)

JUNO V.O.... and she always smells likemethylmethacrylate.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT40 40

Liberty Bell coughs pitifully as Bren leans over her plate.

MACSo Juno, how did your maneuver golast night?

JUNOWhich maneuver, sir? The one in whichI moved an entire living room setfrom one lawn to another, or the onein which I cleared a sixty-four ounce

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 17.CONTINUED:39 39

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blue slushie in ten minutes?Bren speaks in her strong city accent.

BRENJuno? Did you happen to barf in myurn? Mac, you know that nice urn bythe front door, the one I got up inStillwater? I found some weird blueshit, I mean stuff, gunk , in therethis morning.

JUNOI would never barf in your urn,Brenda. Maybe L.B. did it.

We see Liberty Bell blithely pouring bacon bits onto herdinner.

MACLiberty Bell, if I see one moreBaco on that potato, I'm gonna kickyour monkey ass.

EXT. WOMEN'S CHOICE CLINIC - DAY41 41

Juno trudges toward the front entrance of the clinic. Thereis a lone ABORTION PROTESTER, a teenager of Asian descentholding a hugely oversized sign that reads "NO BABIES LIKEMURDERING."

LONE PROTESTER(chanting in extremely

shy, accented voice) )(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 18.

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All babies want to get borned! Allbabies want to get borned!

Juno recognizes the PROTESTER as a classmate of hers.

JUNOUh, hi Su-Chin.

SU-CHINOh, hi Juno. How are you?

JUNOGood. I'm good.

(pause)Did you finish that paper forWorth's class yet?

SU-CHINNo, not yet. I tried to work on ita little last night, but I'm havingtrouble concentrating.

JUNOYou should try Adderall.

SU-CHINNo thanks. I'm off pills.

JUNOWise move. I know this girl who had ahuge crazy freakout because she tooktoo many behavioral meds at once. Shetook off her clothes and jumped intothe fountain at Ridgedale Mall andshe was like, "Blaaaaah! I'm a krakenfrom the sea! "

SU-CHINI heard that was you.

JUNOWell, it was nice seeing you.

She continues on toward the clinic entrance.

CONTINUED:41 41LONE PROTESTER (cont'd)

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SU-CHIN(calling out)Juno!

Juno stops in her tracks but doesn't bother to turn around.

(CONTINUED)

SU-CHINYour baby probably has a beatingheart, you know. It can feel pain.And it has fingernails.

JUNOReally? Fingernails?

She considers the concept, then pushes open the clinic door.

INT. WOMEN'S CHOICE CLINIC - RECEPTION - DAY42 42

The receptionist sits behind a pane of bulletproof glass. Thewaiting room is semi-crowded, occupied mostly by pregnantwomen, teens and ill-behaved children.

PUNK RECEPTIONISTWelcome to Women's Choice, wherewomen are trusted friends. Pleaseput your hands where I can see themand surrender any bombs.

Juno flashes her best jazz hands.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 19.CONTINUED: (2)41 41

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JUNOHi. I'm here for the big show?

PUNK RECEPTIONISTYour name, please?

JUNOJuno MacGuff.

The receptionist raises a pierced eyebrow and arranges somepaperwork on a clipboard.

JUNO V.O.She thinks I'm using a fake name.Like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa.

The receptionist hands Juno the clipboard and a pen.

PUNK RECEPTIONISTI need you to fill these out, bothsides. And don't skip the hairydetails. We need to know aboutevery score and every sore.

The receptionist reaches into one of those ubiquitous women'sclinic CONDOM JARS, and holds up a fistful of purple rubbers.

(CONTINUED)

PUNK RECEPTIONISTWould you like some free condoms?They're boysenberry.

JUNO

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 20.CONTINUED:42 42

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No thank you. I'm off sex.PUNK RECEPTIONIST

My partner uses these every time wehave intercourse. They make hisballs smell like pie.

JUNOCongrats.

She takes a seat in the WAITING ROOM and rifles through apile of old magazines. The magazine selection is lots of"mommy mags" and health related periodicals. She selects anissue of Family Digest and gingerly flips through for a fewmoments.

Then she looks over and notices the FINGERNAILS of a nearbyteen, who looks as nervous as she does. The girl bites herthumbnail and spits it onto the floor.

Juno looks away, but immediately notices another waitingwoman, who absently scratches her arm with long fake nails.

Suddenly, she sees fingernails EVERYWHERE. The receptionistclicks her nails on the front desk. Another woman blows onher fresh manicure. Everyone seems to be fidgeting with theirfingers somehow. Juno suddenly looks terror-stricken...

CUT TO:

PUNK RECEPTIONISTExcuse me, Miss MacGoof?

There's no answer. We see that Juno's chair is EMPTY.

The receptionist cranes her neck and sees the front doordrift shut. Juno's figure recedes into the distance as shetears off down the street, running as fast as she can.

EXT. LEAH'S HOUSE - DAY43 43

Leah's front door swings open to reveal a breathless Junostanding sheepishly on the porch. Leah sighs.

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(CONTINUED)

LEAHWhat are you doing here, dumbass? Ithought I was supposed to pick youup at four.

JUNOI couldn't do it, Leah! It smelledlike a dentist in there. They hadthese really horrible magazines,with, like, spritz cookie recipes andbad fiction and water stains, likesomeone read them in the tub. And thereceptionist tried to give me theseweird condoms that looked like grapesuckers, and she told me about herboyfriend's pie balls, and Su-ChinKuah was there, and she told me thebaby had fingernails. Fingernails!

LEAHOh, gruesome. I wonder if thebaby's claws could scratch your vagon the way out?

JUNOI'm staying pregnant, Le.

LEAHKeep your voice down dude, my mom'saround here somewhere. She doesn'tknow we're sexually active.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 21.CONTINUED:43 43

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JUNOWhat does that even mean? Anyway, Igot to thinking on the way over. Iwas thinking maybe I could give thebaby to somebody who actually likesthat kind of thing. You know, likea woman with a bum ovary orsomething. Or some nice lesbos.

LEAHBut then you'll get huge. Your chestis going to milktate . And you have totell everyone you're pregnant.

JUNOI know. Maybe they'll canonize mefor being so selfless.

(CONTINUED)

LEAHMaybe they'll totally shit and besuper mad at you and not let yougraduate or go to Cabo San Lucasfor spring break.

JUNOBleeker and I were going to go toGettysburg for spring break.

Leah sighs, as if there's no helping her nerdy friend.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 22.CONTINUED: (2)43 43

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LEAHWell, maybe you could look at oneof those adoption ads. I see themall the time in the Penny Saver.

JUNOThere are ads ? For parents?

LEAHOh yeah! "Desperately SeekingSpawn." They're right by the adsfor like, iguanas and terriers andused fitness equipment. It'stotally legit.

JUNOCome on, Leah. I can't scope outwannabe parents in the Penny Saver!That's tacky. That's like buyingclothes at the Pump n' Munch.

EXT. PARK BENCH - DAY44 44

Juno and Leah are sitting at a bench in a park. They slurpgiant blue slushies and sift through a pile of Penny Savers.Juno has her pipe with her.

JUNOThe Penny Saver sucks.

LEAHYeah, but it sucks for free.

They turn the pages in silence for a moment. Their lips andteeth are Windex-blue.

LEAHLook at this one "Wholesome,spiritually wealthy couple havefound true love with each other."

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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(checks to see that Junois paying attention)

"All that's missing is yourbastard."

JUNO(reading a different page)

There's a guy in here who's givingaway a piano. Free for the hauling!We should put it in Bleeker's yard.

LEAHYou're not listening to me.

JUNONo, I heard you. I just can't givethe baby to people who describethemselves as "wholesome." I'mlooking for something a littleedgier.

LEAHWhat did you have in mind, a familyof disturbed loners who are intogunplay and incest?

JUNOI was thinking a graphic designer,mid-thirties, and his cool Asianwife who dresses awesome and playsbass. But I'm trying to not be tooparticular.

LEAHAll right, how about this one?"Healthy, educated couple seekinginfant to join our family of five.You will be compensated. Help us

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 23.CONTINUED:44 44

LEAH (cont'd)

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complete the circle of love."JUNO

Yeesh, they sound like a cult.Besides, they're greedy bitches.They already have three kids!

LEAHHey, Juno. Juno! Look at this one.

She points to the paper and motions for Juno to look. Junoscans the ad silently.

(CONTINUED)

We see the ad. It contains a photo of an attractive couplewith ambiguous Mona Lisa smiles. It reads "Educated,successful couple wishes to..."

JUNO V.O.They were Mark and Vanessa Loring,and they were beautiful even inblack and white.

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S WINDOW - NIGHT45 45

We see Paulie's bedroom window-- festooned with childishcurtains-- and the light on inside.

INT. BLEEKER'S HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT46 46

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 24.CONTINUED: (2)44 44

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Bleeker lies on his Car-bed in his track uniform, listeningto the same LP from when he and Juno went all the way.

He stares between the pages of his embossed Dancing Elk Prepyearbook.

We see the object of his gaze is Juno's black and whiteYEARBOOK PHOTO. Next to it, we see a sloppy, handwrittenmessage from Juno. We hear Juno's voice reading the message:

JUNO V.O.Hey Bleeker! Spank off to this withmotion lotion. Just kidding (kindof.) Your best friend, Juno.

Bleeker picks up the phone. It's the same HAMBURGER PHONEJuno has. He reconsiders and puts it down.

There's a knock on the bedroom door.

BLEEKER'S MOM pokes her dowdy head inside.

BLEEKER'S MOMPaul? Are you coming downstairs toeat?

BLEEKERI don't think so.

BLEEKER'S MOMYou ran eight miles today, Puppy.

BLEEKERI'm not hungry, oddly.

(CONTINUED)

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 25.

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BLEEKER'S MOMBut it's breakfast for supper. Yourfavorite, Paulie. I made Frenchtoast and sausage. Patties, notlinkies, just like you like it.

Bleeker places his hand silently on his stomach.

BLEEKER'S MOMJuno MacGuff called while you wereout running. She wants to know ifyou're coming to her littlecoffeehouse performance on Saturday.

BLEEKERThanks for the message.

BLEEKER'S MOMYou know how I feel about her.

BLEEKERYou've mentioned it about fiftytimes.

BLEEKER'S MOMI just hope you don't consider hera close friend.

Bleeker's mom gives up and closes the door.

We see that Bleeker is clutching a pair of PANTIES in onehand, which he slowly releases as the 45 ends.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON47 47

Bren and MAC are seated on the couch. Leah is standing nearbyfor reinforcements. Juno paces nervously, trying to suss outhow to break the massive news.

JUNOI have no idea how to spit thisout.

BREN

CONTINUED:46 46

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Hon, did you get expelled?JUNO

No. The school would probablycontact you in the event of myexpulsion.

(CONTINUED)

BRENWell, I was just asking. It seemedplausible.

MACDo you need a large sum of money?Legal counsel?

JUNONo, no, I'm definitely not askingfor anything. Except maybe mercy.Like, it would be really great ifnobody hit me.

MACWhat have you done, Junebug? Didyou hit someone with the Previa?

LEAHBest to just tell them, man. Ripoff the Band-Aid and let it bleed.

JUNOI'm pregnant.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 26.CONTINUED:47 47

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Bren and Mac are predictably speechless.BREN

Oh, God...

JUNOBut I'm going to give it up foradoption. I already found the perfectpeople.

Leah presents the Penny Saver photos of the Lornings.

JUNO (CONT'D)They say they're going to pay mymedical expenses and everything. Ipromise this will all be resolvedin thirty-odd weeks, and we canpretend it never happened.

MACYou're pregnant?

(CONTINUED)

JUNOI'm so sorry, you guys. If it's anyconsolation, I have heartburnthat's like, radiating down to mykneecaps and I haven't gone number

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 27.CONTINUED: (2)47 47

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two since Wednesday. Morning!BREN

(interrupting)I didn't even know you weresexually active!

Juno cringes upon hearing her most-hated term.

MACWho is the kid?

JUNOThe baby? I don't know anythingabout it yet. I only know it's gotfingernails, allegedly.

BRENNails? Really?

MACNo, I mean the father! Who's thefather, Juno?

JUNOOh. It's, well, it's PaulieBleeker.

Bren and Mac burst into shocked laughter.

JUNOWhat?

MACPaulie Bleeker? I didn't know hehad it in him!

BREN(giggling)

He just doesn't look, well, virile.

LEAHI know, right?

MACOkay, this is no laughing matter.

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(CONTINUED)

JUNO(indignant)

No, it's not. Paulie is virile, bythe way. He was very goodin...chair.

Leah fires a be quiet glance at Juno.

MACDid you say you were thinking aboutadoption?

JUNOYeah, well, there's this couplewho've been trying to have a baby forfive years.

LEAHWe found them in the Penny Saver bythe exotic birds section.

Bren looks understandably alarmed. Juno hastily attempts tomake the situation sound more legitimate.

JUNOBut they have a real lawyer andeverything. I'm going to meet withthem next weekend.

BRENJunebug, that is a tough, toughthing to do. Probably tougher than

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 28.CONTINUED: (3)47 47

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you can understand right now.JUNO

Well, I'm not ready to be a mom.

MACDamn skippy, you're not! You don'teven remember to give Liberty Bellher breathing meds.

JUNOOnce! And she didn't die, if yourecall!

BRENHoney, had you considered, youknow, the alternative?

Leah and Juno exchange glances.

(CONTINUED)

JUNONo.

BRENWell, you're a brave young lady.You're made of stronger stuff thanI thought. You're a little Viking!

JUNOCool it.

BREN

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 29.CONTINUED: (4)47 47

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First things first, we have to getyou healthy. You need prenatalvitamins. Incidentally, they'll doincredible things for your nails, sothat's a plus. Oh, and we need toschedule a doctor's appointment. Findout where you're going to deliver.

JUNOThe term "deliver" is so weird. Canwe not say "deliver"?

LEAHHow does "crap it out" sound?

MACJuno, I want to come with you tomeet these adoption people. You'rejust a kid. I don't want you to getripped off by a couple of baby-starved wingnuts.

JUNOSure, Dad.

Mac nods, satisfied, then contemplates the situationdismally.

MACI thought you were the kind of girlwho knew when to say when.

JUNOI have no idea what kind of girl Iam.

BREN(sensing tension)

Why don't you girls go upstairs fora while? I think Mac's gonna blow.

(CONTINUED)

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Juno and Leah hightail it upstairs.

MACJust tell it to me straight, Bren.Do you think this is my fault? Hermother's fault?

BRENI think kids get bored and haveintercourse. And I think Junebugwas a dummy about it. But we haveto move on from here and help herfigure it out.

MACI'm not ready to be a Pop-Pop.

BRENYou're not going to be a Pop-Pop.And Juno's not going to be a ma.Somebody else is going to find aprecious blessing from Jesus inthis garbage dump of a situation. Ifriggin' hope.

MAC(conspiratorially)

Did you see it coming when she satus down here?

BRENOh God yeah. But I was hoping shewas expelled or into hard drugs.

MACThat was my first instinct too. OrD.W.I. Anything but this. And I'mgoing to punch that Bleeker kid in

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the weiner the next time I see him.BREN

Oh Mac, no! He's a sweet kid. Youknow it wasn't his idea.

Mac shrugs in agreement.

OMITTED48 48

OMITTED48A 48A

INT. LORING HOUSE - DAY49 49

Music plays as we see SPARSE IMAGES OF VANESSA LORING'S HANDSpreparing the house for Juno's arrival -

Sprucing a vase of FLOWERS.

Straightening a FRAMED PHOTO of the Lorings.

Dusting off a table with one of those WETNAPS for furniture.

Lining up a shelf of BOOKS.

EXT. LORING NEIGHBORHOOD - PREVIA - DAY50 50

The Previa cruises slowly into the Loring's fancy gatedcommunity. Mac pulls over and parks on the curb.

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EXT. LORING HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY51 51

Mark and Vanessa Loring have an impressive, though genericMcMansion. The entire yard is unlandscaped soil. Mac pressesthe doorbell while Juno chews her nails uncomfortably. Bothlook mortified as they wait for someone to greet them.

VANESSA opens the door. She's a pretty, meticulous woman inher early thirties. Very Banana Republic.

VANESSAHi! I'm Vanessa. You must be Junoand Mr. MacGuff. I'm Vanessa.

JUNOVanessa, right?

MACHello. Thank you for having me andmy irresponsible child over to yourhome.

VANESSAOh no. Thank you. Come on in.

INT. LORING HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY52 52

Vanessa awkwardly leads them into her home.

VANESSACan I take your coats?

(CONTINUED)

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JUNOSure.

She takes off her hooded sweatshirt and thrusts it intoVanessa's arms who sets it on a bench.

JUNOWicked pic in the Penny Saver, bythe way. Super classy. Not likethose other people with the fakewoods in the background. Like I'mreally going to fall for that, youknow?

VANESSAYou found us in the Penny Saver ?

MARK LORING appears next to Vanessa. He's a boyishlyattractive guy in his mid-thirties.

He glances sheepishly at Vanessa upon hearing the Penny Savermention, then extends his hand to Mac and Juno.

MARKHi. I'm Mark Loring. I'm the husband.

INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY53 53

Mark and Vanessa usher Juno and Mac into the austere,spacious living room. A woman in a business suit sits on thecouch with a briefcase in her lap.

MARKThis is our attorney, Gerta Rauss.

JUNO(in exaggerated, growling

German accent) )Geeeerta Rauuuss!

GERTA(straight)

Nice to meet you.

CONTINUED:52 52

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Mac seizes Mark's hand and pumps it heartily.MAC

I'm Mac MacGuff, and this, ofcourse, is my daughter Juno.

MARKLike the city in Alaska?

(CONTINUED)

JUNONo.

MARKCool. Well, let's sit down and getto know each other a bit.

VANESSAI'll get drinks. What would everyonelike? I've got Pellegrino, VitaminWater...

JUNOA Maker's Mark, please. Up.

MACShe's joking. Junebug has awonderful sense of humor, which isjust one of her many genetic gifts.

JUNOI also have good teeth. Nocavities. We finally gotfluoridated water in Dancing Elk.

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She bares them frighteningly to demonstrate.Vanessa stares, unflappable.

MACWe're fine, thank you.

Mac and Juno join Mark and Gerta Rauss on the couch.

GERTASo, Juno. First off, how far alongare you?

JUNOI'm a junior.

GERTANo, I mean in your pregnancy.

JUNOOh. Uh, my stepmom took me to thedoctor yesterday and they said Iwas twelve weeks.

Vanessa enters with the refreshments om a tray.

(CONTINUED)

VANESSAOh, that's marvelous. So you'realmost into your second trimester,then?

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JUNOYeah, apparently. I'm having it on May 4.

VANESSAThe tough part's almost over for you. Imean, my girlfriends always tell me thefirst couple months are the hardest.

JUNOYeah, but I hardly noticed it. I'mmore worried about the part where Ihave to start wearing jeans with anelastic panel in the front.

VANESSAI think pregnancy is beautiful.

JUNOWell, you're lucky it's not you.

Vanessa's looks to the ceiling.

MARK(clearing throat)

So, let's discuss how we're gonnado this...thing.

JUNOWell, I just have the baby and giveit to you, right?

GERTAMark and Vanessa are willing tonegotiate an open adoption.

MAC(protective)

Wait. What does that mean?

GERTAIt means they'd send annualupdates, photos, let Juno know howthe baby is doing as he or shegrows up. Of course, Juno's legalrights would be terminated...

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(CONTINUED)

JUNOWhoah. I don't want to see pictures.I don't need to be notified ofanything. Can't we just kick it oldschool? I could just put the baby ina basket and send it your way. Youknow, like Moses in the reeds.

MARKTechnically, that would be kickin'it Old Testament.

Mark and Juno lock eyes.

JUNOYeah. Yeah! The way people used todo it. Quick and dirty, likeripping off a Band-Aid.

GERTAWell, then we agree a traditionalclosed adoption would be best forall involved, then?

JUNOShit, yeah. Close it up.

Vanessa is clearly ecstatic.

MARKObviously, we'll compensate you foryour medical expenses.

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VANESSAAre you looking for any othercompensation?

MACExcuse me?

JUNOWell, no...I'm not going to sellthe baby. I just want it to grow upwith people who are ready to loveit and be parents. I'm in highschool, dude. I'm ill-equipped.

VANESSAYou're doing an amazing andselfless thing for us.

(CONTINUED)

MARKVanessa has wanted a baby since wegot married.

VANESSAI want to be a mommy so badly!

Juno and Mac stare at her.

MACYou don't say.

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VANESSAWell, haven't you ever felt likeyou were born to do something?

MACYes. Heating and air conditioning.

VANESSAWell, I was born to be a mother.Some of us are.

JUNOMark, are you looking forward tobeing a dad?

Mark is caught off guard.

MARKSure, why not? I mean, every guywants to be a father. Coach soccer,help with science projects and...Idon't know. Fatherly stuff.

Mac casts a subtle, dubious glance at Mark.

VANESSAWell, shall we start looking overthe paperwork? Gerta has alreadydrafted some preliminary documents.

JUNOCan I use the facilities first?Being pregnant makes you pee likeSeabiscuit.

VANESSASure. The powder room down here isbeing re-tiled, but you can use themaster bath upstairs. Go up, thenturn left and on your right...

(CONTINUED)

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JUNORoom with a toilet, got it.

INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY/STAIRS - DAY54 54

Juno heads into the foyer and up the stairs. We see a posedphoto of Mark and Vanessa in the stairwell. Their house isbeautiful, but frigid. Juno rubs her arms, shivering.

INT. LORING HOUSE - BATHROOM - DAY55 55

The Loring's bathroom is huge. Juno flushes and goes to thedouble sink to wash her hands. She opens the overheadcabinet and sees Vanessa's toiletries. She spritzes on someperfume and examines the more expensive grooming items.There's a crinkled tube of LUBE in the cabinet. Juno picksit up, fascinated. She rubs a drop of it between her handsand runs it through her hair like pomade.

INT. LORING HOUSE - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY56 56

Juno opens the bathroom door and instantly BUMPS into Mark.

JUNOWhoops! Yikes, I didn't expect tosee you up here.

MARKSorry. I was just gettingsomething.

JUNODid your wife send you up here tospy on me?

MARK

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What? No! Do we come off likeparanoid yuppies or something?

JUNOWell, you don't just invite a randompregnant teenager into your house andleave her unsupervised. I could be atotal klepto, for all you know.

MARKI don't get a klepto vibe from you.Evil genius? Maybe. Arsonist?Wouldn't rule it out.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOI did steal a squirt of perfume. Whatdo you think? It's Clinique Happy.

She holds her WRIST up to Mark's twitching nostrils.

JUNO (CONT'D)Smell those sparkling topnotes!

Mark inhales.

MARKAm I supposed to feel happy now?

JUNOYou should be happy, Holmes. I'mgiving you and Vanessa the gift oflife. Sweet, screaming, pooping

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life! And you don't even have to bethere when the baby comes out of meall covered in...

MARKViscera?

JUNOBlood and guts.

MARKWe'd better get back downstairs ASAP.

Juno mocks his use of "ASAP" silently.

JUNO(halting)

Wait a minute. Is that a Les Paul?

Juno is staring into a room with the door slightly ajar. Wesee GUITARS mounted on the wall, and the edges of posters.

MARKOh. That's, uh, my room. Vanessa letsme have a room for all my old stuff.

JUNOWow, you get a whole room in yourown house? She's got you on a longleash there, Mark.

MARKShut up.

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INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S "SPECIAL" ROOM - DAY57 57

The walls are plastered with FRAMED POSTERS of early-90s altrock bands. (Mudhoney, Jane's Addiction etc.) Mark removeshis LES PAUL from its moorings and hands it to Juno.

JUNOIt's beautiful. I've always likedGibson better than Fender.

MARKWhat do you play?

JUNOI rock a Harmony.

MARK(holding back a chuckle)

Oh.

JUNOWhat? I'm a pawn shop rocker.

MARKSorry. I swear I'm not a gear snob.

Juno turns the guitar over, examining it closely.

JUNOWhat is that, Mahogany? Whathappens if you crack the neck?

MARKTell me about it. I used to play ina really tight band back when Ilived in Chicago, and one night weopened for the Melvins...do youknow who the Melvins are?

JUNO(lying)

Yeah.

MARKWell, we were playing with them and I

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busted this guitar onstage. It cost me$800 and a dime bag just to have it fixed.

JUNOWhen was this, like '96?

(CONTINUED)

MARK'93. I'm telling you that was thebest time for rock and roll.

JUNONuh-uh, 1977! Punk Volume 1.You weren't there, so you can'tunderstand the magic.

MARKYou weren't even alive!

INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY58 58

Vanessa, Mac and Gerta Rauss are waiting in awkward silencefor Juno and Mark to return. Mac notices a brand new PILATESMACHINE sitting in its packaging in a corner of the room.

MACSo. What's that thing?

VANESSAA Pilates machine?

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MACWhat do you make with that?

VANESSAYou don't make anything. It's forexercising.

INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S SPECIAL ROOM - SAME58A 58A

Mark and Juno tool around on the guitars unplugged. They playlittle riffs. He teaches her a couple chords.

INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME58B 58B

MACMy wife just ordered one of those TonyLittle Gazelles off the TV, you know,from the guy with the ponytail?

Vanessa and Gerta have no response.

MACThat guy just doesn't look right to me.

(CONTINUED)

Suddenly, a shriek of AMP FEEDBACK, followed by loud,discordant GUITAR STRUMMING can be heard drifting down fromupstairs. Vanessa's looks to the ceiling.

VANESSA

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(to her guests)Will you excuse me?

INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S SPECIAL ROOM - DAY59 59

Mark has strapped on the Les Paul and is playing and singing."Doll Parts" by Hole.

JUNO AND MARK(quietly singing together)

"Yeah, they really want you... theyreally want you... they really do."

Building together.

JUNO AND MARK(singing together and

connecting)Yeah, they really want you... theyreally want you... and I do to.

(both blush)

VANESSA appears in the doorway. Juno immediately puts downthe guitar. Mark doesn't notice her immediately.

MARK(passionate singing)

I WANT TO BE THE...(notices Vanessa)

Oh, sorry honey...

Mark clumsily puts down the guitar and stands up.

VANESSAYou guys are playing music ?

MARKJuno just wanted a closer look atKimber here.

JUNOYour guitar is named Kimber ?

MARKYeah.

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(CONTINUED)

JUNOThat's all right. My axe is namedRoosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted.Franklin was the hot one with thepolio.

VANESSAI think Gerta is waiting for usdownstairs with some importantstuff for us to go over.

Mark hangs the guitars back on the wall. He and Juno exit theroom, chastised. Vanessa looks to Mark in question.

VANESSADidn't mean to interrupt the jamsessions.

INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - DAY60 60

Juno and Mac have put their coats on and are in the processof leaving. Gerta hands Juno the DOCUMENTS. Vanessa and Marktrail behind.

GERTASo, look those over and give me acall at my office if you have anyquestions.

VANESSAJuno, we'd really appreciate it if

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you could keep us updated on anydoctor's appointments, ultrasounds,other things of that nature.

JUNOOh. Sure. Of course you'd want toknow how your kid is cooking.

VANESSASo, then, you really think you'regoing to go ahead with this?

Mac STARES at Juno gravely.

JUNOYeah. For sure. I like you guys.

Juno looks at Mark.

(CONTINUED)

VANESSAHow sure? Percentage-wise, wouldyou say you're 80% sure, 90% sure?

Mark seems visibly embarrassed by Vanessa's manic demeanor.

JUNOI'm going to say I'm 104% sure.

VANESSAOh really?

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JUNOLook, if I could give it to you now,I would. But it probably looks like aSea Monkey at this point, so I thinkwe should leave it in there for awhile until it gets cuter, you know?

MACI think that's a great idea.

MARKThat's great, right? Stellar news.Well, you guys drive safe, and we'llhear from you soon, all right?

MACAll right, take care of yourselves.

Juno and Mac exit. Mark shuts the door. All is silent in thefoyer. Mark, Vanessa and Gerta stand motionless. Gerta pumps herfist triumphantly, trying to create a mood of celebration.

GERTA(overly aggressive)

All RIGHT!

Vanessa buries her head in her hands and weeps hoarsely.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - MORNING61 61

It is now WINTER. The TRACK TEAM jogs in formation, leavingtracks in the snow. Those bastards never stop running.

EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - TRACK - DAY62 62

Bleeker is running alone on the track. His exhalations are icypuffs in the air. Bleeker's friend VIJAY jogs up alongside him.Vijay is a solemn, skinny boy, much like Bleeker.

(CONTINUED)

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VIJAYHey man.

BLEEKEROh, hey Vijay.

VIJAYDid you hear Juno MacGuff ispregnant?

BLEEKERYup.

VIJAYJust like our moms and teachers!

BLEEKERYup.

VIJAYDid you hear it's yours?

BLEEKERYup.

VIJAYWhat a trip, man.

BLEEKERI don't really know anything about it.

VIJAYYou should grow a moustache. You'rea real man now.

BLEEKERI can't grow a moustache. It nevercomes in evenly.

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VIJAYMe neither. But I'm going to stopwearing underpants in order toraise my sperm count. See you.

VIJAY jogs off. Bleeker STOPS and wipes away his sweat.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - HEAD OFFICE - DAY62A 62A

We're looking over Juno's now FIVE MONTH PREGNANT BELLY to aschool administrator filling out a slip.

Juno takes the slip, turns around and smiles all the way out.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY62B 62B

Juno exits the head office and bumps into Bleeker.

BLEEKERHey Juno... A couple of us aregoing to the cineplex after schoolto donut that movie with the guywith eighteen kids.

JUNOSorry, Bleek... Going for myultrasound. Gotta note andeverything.

BLEEKEROkay, cool.

JUNO

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 45.

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I'll try to drop by later.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON63 63

SPLOOGE! We see ultrasound goo being squirted onto Juno'sexposed pregnant belly. An ULTRASOUND TECHNICIAN is using aDoppler device to view the contents of her burgeoning bump.Bren and Leah ooh and ahh at the resulting image.

The tech takes measurements and types them into her database.

ULTRASOUND TECHThat's the feet...

ALL THREEOooh...

ULTRASOUND TECHAnd there's a hand...

The monitor reveals the baby's head.

ALL THREE(various)

Check that out... No way...

BREN(dreamily)

Would you look at that?

LEAHCheck out Baby Big-Head. That kidis scary!

(CONTINUED)

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JUNOHey, I'm a sacred vessel . All you'vegot in your belly is Taco Bell!

LEAHTouche.

JUNO(gazing at the monitor)

It is really weird looking. It'slike it's not even real. I can'tbelieve there are saps who actuallycry at these things.

Juno and Leah look at BREN, who is dabbing her eyesdiscreetly.

BRENWhat? I'm not made of stone.

ULTRASOUND TECHWell, there we have it. Would youlike to know the sex?

LEAHAw, please Junebug?

JUNONo way. No, I definitely don't wantto know.

ULTRASOUND TECHPlanning to be surprised when youdeliver?

JUNOI want Mark and Vanessa to besurprised, and if I know, I won'tbe able to keep myself from tellingthem and ruining the whole thing.

ULTRASOUND TECH(condescending)

Are Mark and Vanessa your friendsat school?

CONTINUED:63 63

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JUNONo, they're the people who areadopting the baby.

ULTRASOUND TECHOh. Well, thank goodness for that.

(CONTINUED)

BRENWait, what's that supposed to mean?

ULTRASOUND TECHI just see a lot of teenage motherscome through here. It's obviously apoisonous environment for a baby tobe raised in.

Juno, Leah and Bren become immediately defensive.

JUNOHow do you know I'm so poisonous?Like, what if the adoptive parentsturn out to be evil molesters?

LEAHOr stage parents!

BRENThey could be utterly negligent.Maybe they'll do a far shittier jobof raising a kid than my dumbassstepdaughter ever would. Have youconsidered that?

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ULTRASOUND TECHNo...I guess not.

BRENWhat is your job title, exactly?

ULTRASOUND TECHExcuse me?

BRENI said, what-is-your-job-title,Missy?

ULTRASOUND TECHI'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.

BRENWell I'm a nail technician, and Ithink we both ought to stick towhat we know.

ULTRASOUND TECHWhat are you talking about?

(CONTINUED)

BRENYou think you're special becauseyou get to play Picture Pages upthere?

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Bren gestures to the ULTRASOUND MONITOR.BREN

My five year-old daughter could dothat, and let me tell you, she is notthe brightest bulb in the tanningbed. So why don't you go back tonight school in Manteno and learn areal trade!

The ULTRASOUND TECH exits in a huff.

JUNOBren, you're a dick! I love it.

INT. JUNO'S BEDROOM - DAY64 64

Juno lays in bed checking out the ULTRASOUND PRINT OUT.

EXT. LORING NEIGHBORHOOD - PREVIA - AFTERNOON65 65

The Previa drives into the front gate of Mark and Vanessa'sexclusive community. A sign on the gate reads "GlacialValley."

EXT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - AFTERNOON66 66

Juno rings the doorbell, shifting her weight in the cold.

MARK answers the door, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.

MARKJuno? Wow, I didn't expect to seeyou here.

JUNOI've got something really cool toshow you guys. Is Vanessa here?

MARKNo, she's working late tonight.She's trying to accrue some extratime off for when, you know...

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He gestures awkwardly to Juno's belly.

(CONTINUED)

JUNORight. I hear they can be kind of atime-suck.

MARKCome on in. You wanna Ginseng Cooler?

JUNOSure. What is it with you richpeople and your herb-infusedjuices?

MARKI don't know. Something to do withthe four-packs...

(adding)... They're not bad.

INT. LORING HOUSE - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON67 67

Mark leads Juno into the kitchen, where he pours two drinks.The STEREO blares in the background.

JUNOWhy aren't you at work?

MARKI mostly work from home. I'm acomposer.

JUNO

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No shit. Like Johannes Brahms?MARK

No, more commercial stuff.

JUNOLike what?

MARKCommercials.

JUNOOh.

MARKHave you seen those ads forTitanium Power men's deodorant?

(CONTINUED)

JUNO(singing)

Titanium Power! Get more snatch bythe batch!

MARKI wrote that.

JUNOYou're kind of a sellout, aren'tyou? What would the Melvins say?

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MARKThey'd say you came a long way out herenot knowing if anyone would be home.

She holds up a manila envelope.

JUNOCome on, you're going to want tosit down for this.

INT. LORING HOUSE - DEN - AFTERNOON68 68

As they move into the living room, Juno sits down and motionsfor Mark to join her on the couch.

JUNOPark it, dude.

Mark sits down. With great fanfare, Juno retrieves a dark,glossy sheet from the envelope. It's her ULTRASOUND.

JUNOBehold, good sir! The very firstphoto of your future child.

MARKYou're kidding!

Mark EXAMINES the ultrasound, baffled.

JUNOI think it kind of looks like myfriend, Paulie.

MARK(joking)

Oh, is he bald and amorphous?

JUNONo, he's the dad.

(CONTINUED)

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Mark looks jolted, as if it's the first time he consideredthat her baby might have a father. He stands up and holds thephoto up to the light critically.

MARKCan you tell if it's a boy or agirl?

JUNOThe doctor can tell, but I decidednot to know. I want it to be a bigsurprise.

MARKWell, it can really only go two ways.

JUNOThat's what you think. I drink tonsof booze so you might get one ofthose scary neuter-babies that'sborn without junk.

MARKJunk?

JUNOYou know... it's parts...

MARKI know what junk is.

JUNO(teasing)

Yeah?

MARKWe definitely want it to have junk.

JUNO

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Well don't worry about it. Mystepmom is forcing me to eat reallyhealthy. She won't even let mestand in front of the microwave oreat red M&Ms. Hope you're ready.

Mark chuckles.

MARKWait...do you hear that?

A new SONG has begun. Mark closes his eyes in ecstasy andwalks toward the stereo. Juno follows him toward the sourceof the music, looking perplexed by how happy he is.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOWhat is it?

MARKIt's only my favorite song. It'sSonic Youth doing "Superstar" bythe Carpenters.

JUNO(excited)

I've heard the Carpenters before.Chick drummer and freaky dude. Notunlike the White Stripes.

MARKYou haven't heard the Carpenterslike this. Listen.

Mark grabs the STEREO REMOTE off the kitchen counter and

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turns up the volume to a roar. Mark and Juno stand in silencein the kitchen. Mark mouths along with the lyrics.

MARK(lipsynching)

Don't you remember you told me youloved me, baby...

JUNOHey, I like this.

MARKThis album is all Carpenters coversby alt-rock bands. It's called If IWere a Carpenter. It is God. I'llrip a copy for you before youleave.

JUNOYou don't have to do that.

MARKIt's the least I can do. What didyou say your favorite band was?

JUNOI didn't. But it's a three-way tiebetween the Stooges, Patti Smithand the Runaways.

MARKYeah, I definitely need to make yousome CDs. At least while my kid ishanging out in there.

(CONTINUED)

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He gestures at Juno's burgeoning paunch.

Mark walks over to his music collections and starts pullingCD's. He's got a Carpenter's disc, the "No Alternative"charity compilation, and Mother Love Bone.

Juno spots a VHS TAPE on the coffee table and picks it up.

JUNO(reading title)

The Wizard of Gore?

MARK(distracted)

Oh yeah. It's Herschel Gordon Lewis.He's the ultimate master of horror.

JUNOPlease. Dario Argento is the ultimatemaster of horror.

Mark SWIVELS AROUND slowly on his desk chair, surprised.

MARKArgento's good, but Lewis iscompletely dimented. We're talkingbuckets of goo. Red corn syrupeverywhere. And fake brains up theyin-yang.

JUNO(examining the tape box)

Frankly, this looks kind of stupid.

Mark gives a look - "Oh, Really?"

INT. LORING HOUSE - DEN - AFTERNOON69 69

We see some particularly memorable footage from The Wizard ofGore.

Mark and Juno are watching the movie and drinking root beerfloats. They're sitting dangerously close on the sofa.

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JUNO(watching movie)

This is even better than Suspiria.You've got decent taste in slashermovies, Mark.

(CONTINUED)

MARKHere's to dovetailing interests.

He raises his mug in a toast and Juno clinks it awkwardly.

JUNOSo, have you and Vanessa thought ofa name for the baby yet?

MARKWell, sort of. Vanessa likesMadison for a girl.

JUNO(aghast)

Madison? Isn't that kind of...Idon't know, gay?

MARKGod, pretentious much? I guesseveryone should have a mysteriousname like Juno, huh?

JUNOMy dad went through this phase

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where he was obsessed with Greekand Roman mythology. He named meafter Zeus's wife. I mean, Zeus hadother lays, but I'm pretty sureJuno was his only wife. She wassupposed to be really beautiful butreally mean. Like Diana Ross.

MARKThat suits you.

JUNOUh, thanks.

MARKYou know, not many teenage girls inyour situation would actually gothrough with this.

JUNOI weighed my options. But after allthis, I'm glad I didn't, you know,get rid of it. I want to have it.For you guys.

MARKYou're something else.

(CONTINUED)

A door suddenly slams upstairs. Vanessa's home.

MARKVanessa. Shit, you better get outof here.

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JUNOWhy? What the big deal?

MARKNothing. She just hates when I sitaround watching movies and 'notcontributing.'

JUNOI'll handle this. I'm really goodat diffusing mom-type rage.

Juno jumps up and rushes out.

MARKWait...aww, crap!

INT. LORING HOUSE - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON70 70

Vanessa slides her BRIEFCASE off her shoulder and venturesinto the living room. She's struggling to carry someoversized shopping bags.

VANESSAMark? Are you home? I want to showyou some things I picked up.

Juno intercepts her breathlessly, clutching the ULTRASOUNDphoto. Mark trails behind her.

JUNOHi Vanessa!

Vanessa JUMPS and makes a strangled sound.

VANESSAJuno! God, you startled me. Whatare you doing here? What's wrong?

JUNONothing...

VANESSAThen what's going on?

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(CONTINUED)

JUNOI went to the doctor today.

Vanessa is obviously entertaining some worse-case scenarios.Her eyes are wide and she's uncharacteristically ruffled.

VANESSAIs the baby okay?

JUNOSure. It's the right size andeverything. I even saw itsphalanges today! Check this...

She holds the ULTRASOUND up to show Vanessa and drapes herarm around her.

VANESSAWhat...

JUNOThis is the baby. Your baby.

Vanessa drops the shopping bags, sick with relief.

VANESSAOh my God...

JUNO(kindly)

Doesn't it look like it's waving?It's kind of like it's saying "Hi,

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Vanessa. Will you be my mommy?"VANESSA

Yeah. Yeah, it kind of does.

MARKJuno was nice enough to bring thisby for us.

JUNOI came over as soon as I got thatcold ultrasound goo off my pelvis.My stepmom verbally abused theultrasound tech so we were escortedoff the premises.

VANESSA(distracted)

Oh, that's great!

She can't divert her gaze from the photo.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOSee? Nothing to worry about.

Vanessa chuckles tightly, clearly embarrassed by her show ofemotion.

INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY WAY - DAY70A 70A

Vanessa and Mark walk Juno out. Juno peers at some shoppingbags from various kids stores.

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JUNOHey, what kind of swag did youscore?

MARKYeah. Mall madness, huh?

VANESSAOh it's just some stuff I pickedup. For, you know, the baby.

VANESSABabies need a lot of things. I wanteverything to be just right.

JUNOI thought people got all that stuffat baby showers. When my stepmom hadmy sister I remember she got about amillion presents. They were all lamethough, so I wasn't jealous.

MARKI doubt anyone's throwing us a shower.

JUNOWhy?

VANESSAUm, I think people are kind ofunsure about the situation becauseit's not, you know, set in stone.

JUNOWhat do you mean? Youmean...(aghast) Do you think I'mgoing to flake out on you?

(CONTINUED)

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VANESSANo, no, I don't think that, Juno.It's just that, we went through asituation before where it didn'twork out.

Juno glances at Mark and again at Vanessa. Vanessa looksembarrassed.

MARKCold feet.

JUNOYou should have gone to China. I heardthey give away babies like free iPods.They shoot 'em out of those T-shirtguns at sports events.

VANESSA(abruptly)

Right. Well, Juno, your parentsmust be wondering where you are.You might want to head home.

JUNONaah. I'm already pregnant, so theyfigure nothing worse could happento me. I gotta bounce anyway. Itwas nice seeing you guys again.

She waves and heads for the door.

MARK(to Juno)

Hey, don't forget your bag.

Vanessa looks pain-stricken as Mark helps Juno with her bag.

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EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - NIGHT77 77Juno kicks the snow off her shoes before she enters.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Bren sits at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and anissue of Dog Fancy.

Juno enters nonchalantly, drinking a giant slushie.

(CONTINUED)

BRENWhere the hell have you been,Junebug?

JUNOI drove to St. Cloud to show Markand Vanessa the ultrasound. And Iwound up staying for a couple ofhours.

BRENA couple of hours? Why are yougoing up there in the first place?

JUNOThey said they wanted to know aboutthis stuff. They said to keep themupdated, so I did!

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BRENYou could have sent it to them. Whywould you drive an hour out to EastJesus, Nowhere?

JUNOI don't know, I just did. And whilewe were waiting for Vanessa, Markand I watched The Wizard of Goreand he burned me some CDs of weirdmusic. He's kind of cool.

A beat as Bren absorbs this.

BRENThat was a mistake, Juno. Mark is amarried stranger. You overstepped aboundary.

JUNOListen, Bren- duhhh , I think you'rethe one overstepping boundaries.You're acting like you're the onewho has to go through this and gethuge and push a baby out of yourvag for someone else. Besides, whocares if he's married? I can havefriends who are married.

BRENIt doesn't work that way, kiddo.You don't know squat about thedynamics of marriage.

(CONTINUED)

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JUNOYou don't know anything about me!

BRENI know enough.

Bren rises to leave, clutching the Dog Fancy magazine.

JUNO(gesturing to the magazine)We don't even have a dog!

BRENYeah, because you're allergic totheir saliva. I've made a lot ofsacrifices for you, Juno. And in acouple years you're going to moveout--and I'm getting Weimaraners.

JUNOWow, dream big!

BRENOh, go fly a kite.

Bren STORMS out. Juno heads to the URN by the door anddefiantly pours the remains of her blue slushie into it.

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - NIGHT71 71

Juno parks her PREVIA on the street. She walks up to thehouse and rings the doorbell.

BLEEKER'S MOM answers, visibly annoyed. Her eyes drift downto Juno's middle.

JUNO V.O.Bleeker's mom was possibly attractiveonce. But now she looks a hobbit. Thefat one that was in The Goonies.

BLEEKER'S MOMHi Juno. What can I do for you?

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I borrowed Paulie's physics notesin school today. I'm pretty sure heneeds them back, or his grade couldplummet to an A minus.

BLEEKER'S MOMFine. Come in.

(CONTINUED)

She steals another glance at Juno's belly.

INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT72 72

Bleeker's mom escorts Juno wordlessly up the stairs and downthe hallway to Paulie's bedroom. Juno discreetly tries tocharge ahead of her, but her expanding middle prevents herfrom getting past Bleeker's mom. They share an extremelyawkward moment wedged side-by-side in the narrow hallway.

Bleecker's mom nudges past Juno and knocks on Bleeker'sbedroom door. The door has a cheesy racecar-themed decorationhanging on it that says PAULIE'S VRROOOM! It looks likesomething a 5-year old might have.

INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT73 73

Paulie is on the floor surrounded by old quizzes, studyinglike the tortured brainiac he is. Mrs. Bleeker opens thebedroom door. Juno appears. Paulie jumps, startled.

JUNOHey, don't concentrate so hard,man. I think I smell hair burning.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 61.CONTINUED:71 71

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Bleeker smiles faintly.

BLEEKER'S MOMTen minutes.

She closes the door halfway and leaves. Juno rolls her eyesand pulls the door shut entirely.

BLEEKERWhat's up?

JUNOI just wanted to come over. Youknow, say hi. I miss hanging outwith you on school nights.

BLEEKERI miss it too.

He nervously cracks open a container of ORANGE TIC-TACS andpours them into his mouth.

JUNO V.O.Orange Tic-Tacs are Bleeker's oneand only vice.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

When we made out, the day I gotpregnant, his mouth tasted reallytangy and delicious.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 62.CONTINUED:73 73

JUNO V.O. (cont'd)

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INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - "MOLD-O'-RIFFIC" BASEMENT - NIGHT74 74CU ON BLEEKER'S MOUTH AS HE KISSES JUNO FOR THE FIRST TIME

INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - PAULIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT75 75

Bleeker glances at Juno's midsection, embarrassed.

BLEEKERSo, it looks like you're gettingpregnant-er these days.

JUNOYeah. Um, I hooked up a wholeprivate adoption thing. Thesemarried people in Saint Cloud aregoing to be the parents.

Bleeker is visibly relieved.

BLEEKERReally? What are they like?

JUNOThe guy is super cool! His name isMark and he's into old horrormovies and he plays guitar. Iactually hung out with him today.

BLEEKERIs that normal?

JUNOI asked my dad and Bren not to narcus out to your folks, so we shouldbe safe.

BLEEKEROh. That's a relief.

Juno walks over to the bed and sits down next to Bleeker.

JUNOI'm going to really start lookinglike a dork soon. Will you stillthink I'm cute if I'm huge?

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(CONTINUED)

BLEEKERI always think you're cute. I thinkyou're beautiful.

Juno is caught off guard by his sincerity.

JUNOJesus, Bleek.

BLEEKERWell, I do.

The song playing ends, and another one begins. It's "thesong," the track that Bleeker and Juno both recognize fromthe infamous night in the basement.

BLEEKERHey Junebug, when all this is overwe should get the band backtogether again.

JUNOYeah. Sure. Once Tino gets a newdrumhead we should be good to go.

BLEEKERWe could get back together too.

JUNOWere we together?

Bleeker picks at the carpet, dejected.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 63.CONTINUED:75 75

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BLEEKERWell, we were once. You know, that time.

JUNOWhat about Katrina De Voort? Youcould go out with Katrina De Voort.

BLEEKERI don't like Katrina.

JUNOI totally heard you did.

BLEEKERI don't. Katrina smells like soup.Her whole house smells of soup.

OMITTED76 76

EXT. LORING HOUSE - DAY79 79

The house is covered in fresh snow.

OMITTED80 80

INT. LORING HOUSE - NURSERY - DAY81 81

Mark and Vanessa stand silently in the nursery. The walls areprimed slate gray. A single ANTIQUE ROCKING CHAIR sits in the

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 64.

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corner. Vanessa beams proudly and holds two paint samples upnear the wall.

VANESSAWhat do you think? Custard orCheesecake?

MARKThey're yellow.

VANESSAWell, I wanted to pick somethinggender-neutral for now. Once we getthe baby, God willing, we cancreate a more decisive palette.

MARKWhy do people think yellow isgender-neutral? I don't know oneman with a yellow bedroom.

VANESSAI think I'm leaning toward Custardin this light. I don't know. Ishould paint a small area...

MARKOr you could just wait a couplemonths. It's not like the baby'sgoing to storm in here any secondand demand dessert-colored walls.

VANESSAWhat to Expect says that readying thebaby's room is an important processfor women. It's called "nesting."

MARKNesting, huh? Are you planning tobuild the crib out of twigs andsaliva?

(CONTINUED)

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VANESSAYou should read the book. I evenflagged the "daddy chapters" for you.

MARKI just think it's too early topaint. That's my opinion.

VANESSAAnd I disagree.

Mark shrugs, resigned.

Vanessa points to the nursery's largest wall.

VANESSAThat wall is going to needsomething. Maybe we could put ourfirst family picture there.

MARKHm.

VANESSACan you see it?

Mark stares at the wall, looking lost.

OMITTED82 82

INT. RIDGEDALE MALL - DAY83 83

Juno and Leah are walking through the mall, looking bored. Junois wearing one of Mac's giant hockey jerseys in lieu of actualmaternity wear. Leah gnaws on a giant cinnamon pretzel.

LEAH

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 65.CONTINUED:81 81

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Yum. This pretzel tastes like afriggin' donut !

JUNOShare the love, Tits!

She wrestles Leah for the pretzel. Onlookers stare at them,appalled, as Leah puts Juno in a half-Nelson.

JUNO(to eavesdroppers)

She's assaulting me! She's denyingme fresh-baked goodness!

(CONTINUED)

Leah claps a hand over Juno's mouth.

JUNO(muffled)

Hly shht !

LEAHWhat?

Juno drags Leah behind a pillar and peers out from behind it.They're watching a group of well-heeled women and theirchildren shopping en masse. One of the women is pushing atoddler in an ultramodern stroller. And one of the women isVANESSA, looking vaguely detached.

JUNO(hushed)

That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 66.CONTINUED:83 83

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LEAHOf the Penny Saver Lorings?

Juno nods.

LEAHNo way! She's pretty.

JUNOYou sound shocked or something.

LEAHI just thought she'd look reallyold in real life.

The women gather near a play area, sip Frapps and loudlydiscuss their outfits for an upcoming party.

WOMAN #1And I was like, "No offense,sweetie, but nobody looks good ingauchos."

WOMAN #2Especially not with her build.

JUNO(mimicking the women,

Peanuts-style)Wah-wah-waaah!

One of the little girls in the group tugs at Vanessa'ssleeve. Vanessa happily follows the little girl over to theirplay area and begins to play energetically with her.

(CONTINUED)

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 67.CONTINUED: (2)83 83

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Juno watches intently, but Leah just snickers.

LEAHShe's gonna steal that kid for hercollection.

JUNORight, seriously.

They watch Vanessa for a few more moments. The other kidswander over toward the play area while their mothers ignorethem. Vanessa continues to entertain the children.

LEAHBo-ring!

Leah stands up. Juno lingers for a moment.

INT. RIDGEDALE MALL - ELEVATOR BANK - A HALF HOUR LATER84 84

Leah and Juno approach the elevator.

JUNOI want a huge cookie. And like, alamb kebob. Simultaneously.

LEAHGod, Spermy. Must you always feed?

The elevator door opens, revealing... Vanessa.

VANESSAJuno?

Juno tries her best to look enthused.

JUNOWell hi Vanessa! What brings you tothe mall today?

VANESSAJust, you know, shopping with mygirlfriends.

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You're gay?Juno glares at Leah.

VANESSA(confused)

No...

(CONTINUED)

JUNOPlease excuse Leah. She's mentallychallenged.

VANESSAOh, okay. So...how are you feeling?

JUNOHappy? Oh, you mean like,physically. I'm good. Look, I havea snooze button now!

She lifts her shirt and presses her popped-out NAVEL.

VANESSAThat's great.

Vanessa is admiring the belly, when Juno grimaces.

JUNODude, it's moshing all over.

Vanessa looks confused.

JUNO (CONT'D)(explains)

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 68.CONTINUED:84 84

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It's kicking.Vanessa nods in understanding then begins summoning thecourage for an unusual request.

VANESSAUm... Juno, can I - Can I touch it?

JUNOAre you kidding? Everyone at schoolis always grabbing at my belly. I'mlike a legend. They call me theCautionary Whale.

She grabs Vanessa's hand and plants it on her stomach.

VANESSAI can't feel anything.

Vanessa moves her hand, wanting desperately to feel the baby.

VANESSAIt's not moving for me.

She says this as though it's an admission of failure.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOOh, you should try talking to it.They can apparently hear speech inthere, even though it sounds all tenthousands leagues under the sea.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 69.CONTINUED: (2)84 84

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Vanessa kneels down next to the swell of Juno's belly.VANESSA

Hi. Hi, baby. It's me. My name isVanessa. I can't wait to meet you.

Leah gives a look to Juno as if she's about to barf.

VANESSA (CONT'D)Can you hear me sweet angel?

Vanessa looks like she's giving up hope. Then suddenly,

VANESSA (CONT'D)Oh my God - It moved! I felt it!

JUNO(nods)

Elbow.

VANESSAWow! It's magical.

Juno smiles at Vanessa in awe of her genuine affection.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - MORNING85 85

The streets are covered in muddy, slushy snow. The mud isinstantly TRAMPLED underfoot by the collective feet of theDancing Elk Track Team on their morning run.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - BREN'S DESK - DAY85A 85A

Bren cuts the top three inches off a pair of Juno's jeans.Then, using a sewing machine, begins attaching an elasticwaistband.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY85B 85B

We're behind that same WAISTBAND, as Juno walks through thestudents. Now, people seem to part the waters for the belly.

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INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S "SPECIAL ROOM" - DAY85C 85C

Mark has the Les Paul on his lap as he stares at the boardsof an awful commercial.

CU - THE SCRIPT (storyboards). A kitchen scene with a kideating a new breakfast product called - BRUNCH BOWLZ.

Annoyed and out of ideas, Mark begins an impromptu song...

MARKIF YOU'RE TIRED OF BREAKFAST BUTNOT HUNGRY FOR LUNCH, MICROWAVEYOURSELF A HEALTHY BOWL OF BRUNCH!

Mark drops his head, dejected. Then, the phone rings.

MARK(picks up)

Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - PHONE BOOTH - DAY85D 85D

JUNOSo, I've been spending a lot oftime listening to that weird CD youmade me.

Mark instantly smiles.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 70.

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MARKOh really? What's the verdict?

JUNOI sort of like it. I mean, it'scute.

MARKCute?

JUNOWell, when you're used to the rawpower of Iggy and the Stooges,everything else sounds kind ofprecious by comparison.

MARKI imagine you have a collection ofpunk chestnuts to prove your point.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOConsider it your musical education.

MARKI'm dying to see what you've got toteach me.

JUNOOkay, stop surfing porn and getback to work. Just wanted to sayhi.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 71.CONTINUED:85D 85D

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MARKGo learn something.

Mark hangs up. Smiles.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CAFETERIA - DAY86 86

CU on Juno's tray sliding along, picking up an odd combo ofpregnant food.

Pull up to find Juno and Leah walking their trays to a table.

LEAHGod, you're getting huge. How manymonths has it been now?

JUNOAlmost eight. You wouldn't believehow weird I look naked.

LEAHI wish my funbags would get bigger.

JUNOTrust me, you don't. I actuallyhave to wear a bra now. And I haveto rub this nasty cocoa butterstuff all over myself or my skincould get stretched too far andexplode.

LEAHHot!

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - DAY86A 86A

Juno and Leah are sitting inside an emptied awards case onthe wall, eating their lunch.

(CONTINUED)

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Juno notices that the other kids in the cafeteria can't helpbut glance her way. Some look derisive, others are amused.

JUNOGod, why is everyone always staringat me?

LEAHWell, you are kind of...convex.

She illustrates by making a rounded gesture near her stomach.

JUNOWow, someone's been actually doingher geometry homework for once!

LEAHI don't have a choice. Keith's beengrading me really hard lately.

JUNOPlease do not refer to Mr. Conyersas "Keith," okay? My barf reflex isalready heightened these days.

LEAHKeith's hot.

JUNOEww, he's all beardy!

We see KEITH the teacher talking to some science kids in thebackground. He has a Wild America beard. He lifts a cup ofcoffee to his lips and slurps lustily.

Back on Juno and Leah:

LEAHDid you hear Bleek is going to prom

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with Katrina De Voort?JUNO

Katrina? Pfft, no way. He doesn'tlike Katrina. It must be a pity date.

LEAH(shrugging)

He asked her. I heard they weregoing to Benihana, then the prom,then to Vijay's parents' cabin.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOBleeker told me Katrina's wholehouse reeks of soup!

LEAHOh, it totally does. I was therefor her birthday about four yearsago and it was like Lipton Landing.But you know, boys have enduredworse things for nookie.

JUNOThere's no way in hell they'rehaving sex or even holding hands.

LEAHI wouldn't be so sure about that.He did it with you. He's a man now.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 73.CONTINUED: (2)86A 86A

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JUNOYeah, well, Bleek trusted me. We'rebest friends.

LEAHAre you jealous? I thought you saidyou didn't care what he did.

JUNOI'm not jealous, and I don't care.I just know he doesn't like Katrinaand I don't think he should toywith her emotions like that. Sheseems so nice and all.

LEAHOkay Juno, I'm really convinced.

JUNOProm is for wenises, anyway. Onceyou're old enough to go, it's notcool anymore.

INT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - BLEEKER'S LOCKER - DAY87 87

Bleeker retrieves a book from his open locker. Juno marchesup to him, belly leading the way.

JUNOAre you honestly and truly going toprom with Katrina De Voort?

(CONTINUED)

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BLEEKERUm, hi?

JUNOLeah just told me you were goingwith her.

BLEEKERYeah, I did ask her if she wantedto go. A bunch of us from the teamare going to Benihana, then theprom, then Vijay's parents' cabin.

Juno is clearly AFFRONTED.

BLEEKER(meekly)

We're getting a stretch limo.

JUNOYour mom must be really glad you'renot taking me.

BLEEKERYou're mad. Why are you mad?

JUNOI'm not mad. I'm in a fucking greatmood. Despite the fact that I'mtrapped in a fat suit I can't takeoff, despite the fact that everyoneis making fun of me behind my back,despite the fact that your littlegirlfriend gave me the stinkeye inart class yesterday...

BLEEKERKatrina's not my girlfriend! And Idoubt she was actually giving youthe stinkeye. She just looks likethat all the time.

A GIRL strides past (obviously KATRINA) with a sour lookaimed squarely at Juno.

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Whatever. Have fun at the prom withSoupy Sales. I'm sure I can thinkof something way more cool to dothat night.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

Like I could pumice my feet, or goto Bren's dumb Unitarian church, orget hit by a ten-ton truck full ofhot garbage juice. All those thingswould be exponentially cooler thangoing to the prom with you.

She starts to walk away.

Bleeker takes a deep breath.

BLEEKERYou're being really immature.

JUNO(turning around)

What?

Bleeker BRACES himself and pushes up his lab goggles.

JUNOThat's not how our thing works! Ihurl the accusations and you talkme down, remember?

BLEEKER

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 75.CONTINUED: (2)87 87

JUNO (cont'd)

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Not this time. You don't have anyreason to be mad at me. You brokemy heart. I should be royallyticked at you, man. I should bereally cheesed off. I shouldn'twant to talk to you anymore.

JUNOWhy? Because I got bored and hadsex with you one day, and then Ididn't, like, marry you?

BLEEKERLike I'd marry you! You would be themeanest wife of all time. And anyway,I know you weren't bored that daybecause there was a lot of stuff onTV. The Blair Witch Project was onStarz, and you were like, "Oh, I wantto watch this, but we should make outinstead. La la la."

JUNOForget it, Bleek. Take Katrina theDouche Packer to the prom. I'm sureyou guys will have a reallybitchin' time!

(CONTINUED)

BLEEKER(searching for a comeback)Yeah, well...I still have yourunderwear.

JUNO

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 76.CONTINUED: (3)87 87

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I still have your virginity!BLEEKER

(looking around, panicked)Oh my God, SHUT UP!

JUNOWhat? Are you ashamed that we did it?

BLEEKERNo...

JUNOWell at least you don't have towalk around with the evidence underyour sweater. I'm a planet!

Juno picks up her BACKPACK dejectedly and slides it over hershoulder. She's about to walk away, when...

BLEEKERWait, let me take that.

JUNOHuh?

BLEEKERYou shouldn't be carrying thatheavy bag. I'll take it.

JUNOOh. It's fine. What's another tenpounds?

She turns around, wipes TEARS off her cheek (making sure noone sees) and continues down the hallway.

OMITTED88 88

OMITTED88A 88A

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EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - PREVIA - DAY89 89

Juno climbs ungracefully into the van. She starts the engine,then pauses to dig through her backpack for something. Sheproduces a brush and begins brushing her hair in the rearviewmirror, examining herself self-consciously. She puts on someDr. Pepper Lip Smacker and backs out of the driveway.

INT. LORING HOUSE - MARK'S SPECIAL ROOM - DAY90 90

Mark is seated at the computer, surfing a horror moviewebsite. He has the blank expression of a bored obsessive.The doorbell rings.

INT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - DAY91 91

Mark opens the door. Juno stands there, looking radiantlyknocked-up. She holds a stack of CDs. Mark breaks into agrin.

MARKWow. That shirt is working hard.

JUNO(furtive)

Is Vanessa here?

MARKNope. We're safe.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 77.

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He and Juno smile conspiratorially.

JUNOCool.

MARKCome on, I have something for you.

He gestures for Juno to follow him into the house.

INT. LORING HOUSE - BASEMENT - AFTERNOON92 92

The Lorings' basement is dank, cluttered unfinished andunattractive, much like Paulie Bleeker's. Mark pulls a chainto illuminate a bare bulb.

(CONTINUED)

JUNOOh, Mark! Is this the baby's room?It's beautiful!

MARKHilarious. No, I just keep all ofmy old comics down here, and I wantto show you one of them.

JUNOOh God, you're one of those guys...

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MARKYou're gonna like this, I promise.

Mark RUMMAGES through a cardboard box in the corner.

MARK(extracting a bagged COMIC

from the box)Here it is.

He shows the COMIC to Juno. It's called "Most Fruitful Yuki." Itdepicts a pregnant JAPANESE GIRL kicking ass and taking names.

JUNO"Most Fruitful Yuki"? What is...Ohmy god, she's a pregnant superhero!

MARKIsn't that great? I got it when Iwas in Japan with my band. Shereminds me of you.

Juno examines the comic. "Most Fruitful Yuki" does resemble her.

JUNOWow, I actually feel like less of afat dork now.

MARKMost Fruitful Yuki is bad ass, man.You should be proud to be the samecondition.

She throws a KARATE KICK in Mark's direction with a KEE-YA!

Juno is sincerely pleased.

JUNOOkay, how about some tunes?

(CONTINUED)

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There's a battered portable CD player in the corner. Junokneels down and pops in one of the discs.

JUNONow this first one is kinda slow.But it's Mott the Hoople so it'sstill totally rad and hardcore.

Juno puts in the CD and "All The Young Dudes" fills the room.

Mark Laughs.

JUNOWhat?

MARKI actually know this one.

JUNOYou do?

MARKYeah, this song's older than me, ifyou can believe that. I danced toit at my senior prom.

JUNOThat's almost interesting, Mark.Who did you dance with?

MARKHer name was Cynthia Vogel and shewas a good dance partner. Even letme put my hands on her butt.

JUNOOh man, I can just picture you slowdancing like a dork!

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She mockingly places her hands on Mark's waist and moves backand forth stiffly.

MARKNo, I put my hands on your waist.Then you put your arms around myneck. That's how we did it in '88.

Mark puts his hands on what remains of Juno's waist. Shedrapes her arms around his neck self-consciously.

JUNOOh, okay. Like this.

(CONTINUED)

MARKYou've never been to a dance, haveyou?

JUNO(casually defensive)

Only squares and nerds go to dances.

MARKWhat are you?

JUNOI don't know.

They SWAY slowly to the music. Juno's belly bumps up againstMark.

MARKI feel like there's something

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between us.They laugh.

Juno rests her head on Mark's chest. They dance in silencefor a few moments, then stop moving. Mark pulls Juno as closeas he possibly can, given her expanding girth.

MARKI'm leaving Vanessa.

JUNO(quiet at first)

What?

MARKIt's just not working out, but I'mgetting my own place in the city...and I've got it all planned out.It's something I've wanted to dofor a long time...

Juno backs away.

JUNO(growing)

No.

MARKNo?

(CONTINUED)

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JUNONo. No, you definitely cannot dothat, Mark. That's a big, fat sackof no !

MARKWhat's the matter?

JUNOThis isn't what we agreed on. Youguys have to take care of...this!You are the chosen custodians ofthe big-ass bump!

She GESTURES wildly to her belly. Suddenly, something mattersto her far more than the approval of an older guy.

MARKBut I thought you'd be cool if...

JUNO(interrupting)

I want you guys to adopt theBuglet. I wanted everything to beperfect. Not shitty and broken likeeveryone else's family. Listen,once I have the baby, Vanessa isgoing to finally be happy, andeverything will be all right.Believe me on this one!

MARKA baby is not going to fixeverything. Besides, I don't know ifI'm ready to be a father.

JUNO(aghast)

But you're old!

MARKI...How do you think of me, Juno?Why are you here?

JUNOI don't know. I just liked being your

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friend. I sort of liked becomingfurniture in your weird life.

MARKThis...

(he gestures to the danksurrounding room)

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

...this is what my life has become.Stuff in boxes. Stuff underground.Is that so appealing to you?

JUNOYeah, I guess...Is this my fault? IsVanessa mad at you because of me?

MARKThat's not the point. We're justnot in love anymore.

JUNOYeah, but didn't you love Vanessawhen you married her? If you lovesomeone once, you can love themagain, I know it. My friend Leah hasgone out with the same guy, like,four times. You're just not trying.

Mark suddenly sees Juno for what she is - a teenage girl.

MARKI'm such an idiot. I can't believewhat an idiot I am.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 82.CONTINUED: (5)92 92

MARK (cont'd)

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He paces over to the wall and KICKS it softly.JUNO

Please don't get a divorce! God,Mark, just do me a solid and staywith your wife.

MARKGod, you're so young.

JUNONot really. I'm sixteen. I'm oldenough to tell when people areacting like total a-holes!

Juno turns to leave, then shoots one furious look back atMark.

JUNOOh and by the way, I bought anotherSonic Youth album and it's theworst thing I've ever heard! It'sjust noise, man!

She bolts up the stairs, sobbing.

INT. LORING HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY93 93

Juno reaches the top of the stairs and scrambles toward thefront door, only to be intercepted by Vanessa, who'sreturning home from work, carrying her briefcase and afreshly purchased NURSING PILLOW. They nearly collide.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 83.

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VANESSAJuno? What's going on?

JUNONothing.

It's obvious from Juno's tears and flushed face that she'slying. Vanessa instantly goes pale with fear, but she triesher hardest to seem serene and "together" in front of Juno.

VANESSA(pretending to be calm)

Mark? Why is Juno crying?

JUNOI'm not crying. I'm allergic tofine home furnishings. See youlater.

She rushes toward the door.

VANESSAHold on.

Juno halts.

VANESSAJuno, what's the matter?

MARKShe's hormonal. Right, June? It'sjust part of the whole process.

Juno looks totally betrayed. She doesn't respond. Vanessalooks at Juno's expression and knows Mark is lying.

VANESSAWhat did you do?

MARKI didn't do anything... I just...I've just been thinking.

The worst words a man can speak.

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(CONTINUED)

VANESSA( you've been thinking? )

What?

MARK (CONT'D)Just thinking if this is really theright thing for us.

VANESSAWhat are you referring to?

She knows exactly to what he's referring.

MARKI've been just wondering if we're,you know, ready.

VANESSAOf course we're ready. We've takenall the classes. The nursery. Thebooks -

MARKI know we're prepared. I just don'tknow if... I'm ready.

Juno's face continues to fall. Vanessa notices.

VANESSA(to Juno)

Juno, don't worry about this. He justhas cold feet. That's how boys are.The books all say the same thing. A

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 84.CONTINUED:93 93

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woman becomes a mother when she getspregnant. A man becomes a father whenhe sees his baby. He's going to getthere. He'll get there.

Juno ain't buying it.

VANESSA (CONT'D)(to Mark)

Why don't we let Juno go home and wecan discuss this later on, okay?

MARKIt all just happened so fast. Weput that ad in the paper. I thoughtit would take months if, you know,ever and then - boom - Two weekslater, she's in our living room.

(CONTINUED)

VANESSA(quietly)

She answered our prayers.

MARK(ignores the comment)

Ever since, it's just been like aticking clock.

This stops Vanessa. Juno looks offended.

VANESSAWhat are you saying?

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 85.CONTINUED: (2)93 93

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A long hideous beat.

MARKIt just feels a little like badtiming.

Another hideous beat.

VANESSAWhat would be a good time for you?

MARKI don't know. There's just things Istill want to do.

VANESSALike what? Be a rock star?

MARKDon't mock me.

Vanessa sighs. It's done.

VANESSAYou're trying to do something that'snever going to happen. And you knowwhat? Your shirt is stupid. Grow up.If I have to wait for you to becomeKurt Cobain, I'm never going to be amother.

Vanessa looks defeated.

MARK (CONT'D)I never said I'd be a great father.

We hear the front door closing. Vanessa and Mark look overand notice that Juno has escaped the conflict.

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EXT. LORING HOUSE - AFTERNOON94 94

Juno runs up to her car sobbing. She struggles with the keys,but finally makes it into the Previa and drives off.

EXT. HIGHWAY - AFTERNOON

The Previa slides off the road and comes to a stop on theshoulder.

INT. PREVIA - AFTERNOON

Juno buckles over the steering wheel, crying, unwinding forthe first time since she became pregnant.

After a beat, she begins to gather herself.

INT. BLEEKER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Bleeker is sitting next to his bed, noodling on the guitar.He's playing a theme that we will soon recognise.

EXT. CORNER STORE - NIGHT

Juno lays on the hood of her Previa, contemplating herfuture. We push in close... when she gets an idea.

She hops off the hood and scurries into the Previa where shefinds a crumpled up Jiffy Lube receipt. She unfolds it andpulls out a pen, ready to write something... a note?

EXT. LORING HOUSE - NIGHT

It's quiet after the storm. Inside, we see Vanessa sitting

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alone at her perfect dining room table, drinking a glass ofwine.

INT. LORING HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT103 103

Vanessa takes a sip and continues to let the days events sinkin. After a beat, Mark comes down the stairs to join her.

MARKI called Gerta Rauss. She says shecan represent both of us. They callit "collaborative divorce." It'sapparently all the rage right now.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

And it's easy because we don't havechildren.

VANESSANo, it's fine. Thanks for makingthe call, I guess.

Mark nods and sits down.

VANESSAWe're actually, finally doing this?

MARKLooks like it, yeah.

VANESSAHave you found a place to stay?

MARK

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 87.CONTINUED:103 103

MARK (cont'd)

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Yeah, downtown.VANESSA

A hotel?

MARKIt's a loft.

VANESSA(lightly teasing)

Aren't you the cool guy?

They STARE at the wall, speechless and defeated.

VANESSAI wanted a baby so bad. So bad.

She buries her head in her hands.

MARKI know you did.

There's a LOUD KNOCK on the front door.

EXT. LORING HOUSE - ENTRY - NIGHT

Mark opens the door. There's a folded piece of paper sittingon the doormat. He squints and sees Juno pulling away in thevan.

Mark carefully unfolds the piece of paper--it takes a minutebecause of Juno's proficiency in "teen girl origami." Heholds it up. We can see there's WRITING on the back.

(CONTINUED)

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 88.CONTINUED:

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MARKIt looks like a bill from Jiffy-Lube.

Vanessa takes the note from his hand and turns it over,examining it.

VANESSAIt's for me.

EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - NIGHT95 95

Juno parks her car and walks up to her house. A porch light'sbeen left on for her, and the place looks cozy and inviting.

JUNO V.O.I never realize how much I like beinghome unless I've been somewherereally different for a while.

She picks a CROCUS from the unkempt garden near the porch andsniffs it. She lifts her shirt and tickles her belly with it.Then she tucks the flower into her unkempt hair.

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT96 96

Mac is alone at the kitchen table going over the familyfinances while drinking one of Bren's weight loss shakes.

Juno enters.

JUNOHi Dad.

MACHey, big puffy version of Junebug.Where have you been?

JUNODealing with stuff way beyond mymaturity level. Where is everyone?

MACBren took Liberty Bell to her tot

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ice skating class.JUNO

Tot ice skating? Tots can't iceskate. Liberty Bell's still gettingthe hang of stairs.

(CONTINUED)

MACNo, but you know Bren. She dreams big.

JUNOYeah, she does.

MACYou look a little morose, honey.What's eating you?

JUNOI'm losing my faith in humanity.

MACThink you can narrow it down for me.

JUNOI guess I wonder sometimes ifpeople ever stay together for good.

MACYou mean like couples?

JUNOYeah, like people in love.

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MACAre you having boy trouble? I gotta behonest; I don't much approve of youdating in your condition, 'cause... well,that's kind of messed up.

JUNODad, no!

MACWell, it's kind of skanky. Isn'tthat what you girls call it?Skanky? Skeevy?

JUNOPlease stop now.

MAC(persisting)

Tore up from the floor up?

JUNODad, it's not about that. I just needto know that it's possible for twopeople to stay happy togetherforever. Or at least for a few years.

(CONTINUED)

MACIt's not easy, that's for sure.Now, I may not have the best trackrecord in the world, but I havebeen with your stepmother for tenyears now, and I'm proud to say

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that we're very happy.Juno nods in agreement.

MAC (CONT'D)In my opinion, the best thing youcan do is to find a person wholoves you for exactly what you are.Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty,handsome, what have you, the rightperson will still think that thesun shines out your ass. That's thekind of person that's worthsticking with.

A wave of REALIZATION crosses Juno's face.

JUNOI sort of already have.

MACWell, of course. Your old D-A-D!You know I'll always be there tolove and support you, no matterwhat kind of pickle you're in.

He nods toward her belly.

MACObviously.

Juno laughs and hugs her father, planting a smooch on hischeek.

JUNOI need to go out somewhere for justa little while. I don't have anyhomework, and I swear I'll be backby ten.

She salutes and dashes out of the kitchen.

MACYou were talking about me, right?

Montage:

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OMITTED96A 96A

OMITTED97 97

OMITTED98 98

OMITTED99 99

INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - BLEEKER'S ROOM - NIGHT100 100

We push in over Bleeker sleeping in his car-bed towards thewindow. We look out onto the lawn to find Juno and Leahrunning back to the Previa, hopping in, and screeching off.

OMITTED100A 100A

OMITTED100B 100B

OMITTED100C 100C

OMITTED100D 100D

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MORNING101 101

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 91.

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Bleeker steps out of the house for his usual early-morning run.

He looks down to see a message scrawled in chalk on thestoop: "BLEEKER- CHECK THE MAIL."

He walks down to the end of the driveway and opens the latchon the mailbox.

At least one hundred containers of ORANGE TIC TACS come pouringout in an colorful deluge. They spill out onto the driveway.

Bleeker smiles.

EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - TRACK - MORNING102 102

Juno waddles toward the field. The guys on the track team,ridiculously arrayed as usual, are doing hurdler stretches.They stare at her quizzically. Bleeker spots Juno approachingand jogs up to the chainlink fence.

(CONTINUED)

BLEEKERDid you put like a hundred thingsof Tic Tacs in my mailbox?

JUNOYeah. That was me.

BLEEKERWhy?

JUNO(blushes)

Because they're your fave. And you

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 92.CONTINUED:102 102

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can never have too much of yourfavorite one-calorie breath mint.

BLEEKERWell...thanks. I think I'm prettymuch set until college on the TicTac front.

JUNOYou know, I've been thinking. I'mreally sorry I was such a hugebitch to you. You didn't deservethat. You never deserve any of thepoo I unload on you.

BLEEKERYou know it's okay.

JUNOAlso, I think I'm in love with you.

BLEEKERWhat, you mean as friends?

JUNONo, for real. I think you are thecoolest person I've ever met. Andyou don't even have to try.

BLEEKERI try really hard, actually...

JUNONo, you're naturally smart. Youalways think of the funniest thingsto do. Remember when you passed methat postcard during Spanish class,and it was addressed like, "JunebugMacGuff, Row 4, Third Seat From theBlackboard"?

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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And it said, "I'm having fun inBarcelona- wish you were here"?That was hilarious.

BLEEKERI was just bored. I only think schoolis awesome like, 80% of the time.

JUNOPlus, you're the only person whodoesn't stare at my stomach all thefucking time. You actually look at myface. And every time I look at you,the baby starts kicking me super hard.

BLEEKERIt does?

Juno presses Bleeker's hand against her belly.

BLEEKERWizard!

JUNOI think it's because my heartstarts pounding when I see you.

BLEEKERMine too.

JUNOBasically, I'm completely smittenwith you, and I don't care if I'mmaking an ass out of myself rightnow, because you've seen me make anass out of myself a million times,and you still want to be my friend.

BLEEKERWell, yeah. You're the best friend

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 93.CONTINUED: (2)102 102

JUNO (cont'd)

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I've ever had, even when you'rebeing kind of evil.

JUNOThat's all I need from you. That'smore than I could ever ask for.You're just golden, dude.

BLEEKERCan we make out now?

JUNOOkay.

(CONTINUED)

Bleeker and Juno KISS, oblivious to the gawking track teamguys in the background.

In the distance, near the school entrance, we see STEVERENDAZO (the kid who always TORMENTS Juno) regarding themakeout session with a sad, envious expression.

LEAH passes by, does a double take, then hurries up to thefence, rolling her eyes.

LEAH(disgusted)

You know, you can go into earlylabor sucking face like that!

Juno gives her the FINGER, not breaking the clinch with Bleeker.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 94.CONTINUED: (3)102 102

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INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - JUNO'S BEDROOM - MORNING105 105Juno is lying on her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.She's more pregnant than we've ever seen her. She revs aMatchbox car against the slope of her belly and lets it roll.

Juno suddenly sits up, looking thoroughly freaked. She patsher lap frantically and jumps off the bed.

JUNODad!

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. MACGUFF HOUSE - MAC'S WORK DESK - SAME105A 105A

Mac looks up from the lure he's working on.

MAC (O.C.)What?!

JUNOEither I just pissed my pants or...

MAC (O.C.)Or...

JUNOThundercats are go!

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 95.

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EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DAY106 106

Mac, Bren and Liberty Bell rush out of the house. They pileinto the Previa at breakneck speed. Juno waddles behind them,protesting.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY107 107

CU of Juno wearing a puffy surgical cap. She's being pusheddown the hospital corridor in a wheelchair. She bursts intogiggles. Pull back to reveal her that Leah is pushing herrather aggressively. Leah jokingly steers the wheelchair intoa wall. Juno feigns whiplash.

Bren appears behind them and orders Juno out of thewheelchair, exasperated. She pulls off Juno's surgical cap.Leah and Juno snicker.

INT. HOSPITAL - BIRTHING SUITE - DAY108 108

We see Juno is in a BIRTHING SUITE at the hospital, pacingimpatiently, bent over in obvious discomfort. She's wearingher Chuck Taylors and knee socks with her hospital gown. Leahand Bren stand nearby.

Juno doubles over in pain.

JUNO(panicked)

Ow, ow, fuckity-ow. Bren, when do Iget that Spinal Tap thing?

BRENIt's called a spinal block , and youcan't have it yet, honey. The doctorsaid you're not dilated enough.

JUNOYou mean I have to wait for it toget even worse? Why can't they justgive it to me now?

BRENWell, honey, doctors are sadists

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who like to play God and watchlesser people scream.

Juno lets out a genuine shriek of pain.

(CONTINUED)

BREN(checking her watch)

Shit.(To the doctor)

Hey, can we give my kid the damnspinal tap already?

INT. HOSPITAL - BIRTHING SUITE - LATER109 109

JUNO V.O.It really didn't hurt that badhaving him.

We see Juno in the process of delivery, from her POV. Leahholds one of Juno's feet and Bren holds the other.

JUNO V.O.The best part was when I peed onLeah during labor.

We see Leah holding Juno's FOOT, which is shaking. Leah'sshirt is soaked. She rolls her eyes and mouths "Fuck you" atJuno. Juno's raised MIDDLE FINGER enters the frame.

JUNO V.O.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 96.CONTINUED:108 108

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And then, out of nowhere, thereit was...

The doctor reveals JUNO'S BABY BOY above the sheet.

JUNO (V.O.)There he was.

Juno looks at the baby in awe, then her eyes begin toflutter... and she passes out.

EXT. DANCING ELK SCHOOL - TRACK - AFTERNOON110 110

Paulie Bleeker is running as fast as his legs can carry himon the Dancing Elk track. There's a very sparse crowd in thebleachers. As Paulie approaches the tape, his enviousteammate Vijay looks on. Bleeker's mom is seated near Vijay,holding a video camera.

JUNO V.O.I decided to not call Bleeker totell him that I was having thebaby. He had a big meet againstManteno and I didn't want him toget all worried about me and choke.

(CONTINUED)

Paulie breaks the tape, winning the race. The fifteen or sopeople in attendance cheer.

VIJAY(admiringly)

His legs are as swift as his seed.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 97.CONTINUED:110 110

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MRS. BLEEKERWhat did you say?

Bleeker pants at the finish line, dripping with sweat.

ANNOUNCERP. Bleeker has just broken adistrict record in the 400.

Bleeker looks out at the BLEACHERS, scanning them for Juno.She's not there.

JUNO V.O.But he figured it out anyway.

Bleek takes off RUNNING toward the parking lot withoutstopping to explain. His mother stands up, confused.

INT. HOSPITAL - MATERNITY WARD - DAY111 111

A NURSE reaches into one of the maternity ward bassinets andgently lifts up a swaddled newborn baby.

The nurse turns and addresses an unseen spectator.

NURSEWould you like to meet your son?

Pull back to reveal she's speaking to VANESSA, who stands,paralyzed, several feet away.

VANESSAI have a son?

NURSE(amused)

You are the adoptive mother?

VANESSAI have a son.

NURSEHealthy kid, too. Didn't waste anytime getting out.

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(CONTINUED)

Vanessa reaches out for the baby and gingerly accepts him inher eyes. She spends a few moments just looking at him.

She feels someone watching her, then looks up to see a Brenleaning against the doorway.

Vanessa blinks away her tears self-consciously.

VANESSAHow do I look?

BREN(gently)

Like a mom. Scared shitless.

Vanessa laughs.

INT. HOSPITAL - BIRTHING SUITE - DAY112 112

Juno is curled up on her bed in the birthing room. The birthis obviously over; there's that air of stillness andaccomplishment, a task completed. The doctors have clearedout. Mac sits in a chair next to the bed, looking like he'snot sure what to say.

He holds up a deck of Playing cards as if to initiate a game,but Juno gently pushes his hand away. Their eyes meet. Hisexpression is helpless, hers is utterly drained.

MACSomeday, you'll be back here,honey. On your terms.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 98.CONTINUED:111 111

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Juno nods and swallows.

Over Mac's shoulder, a silhouette appears in the doorway.It's Bleeker in his track uniform.

Juno sees him and bursts into sudden, ragged sobs. Macglances at her, alarmed. Paulie moves toward the bed. Macclears his throat, gets up and leaves the room.

Paulie climbs onto the hospital bed and carefully puts hisarm around Juno. She leans into him, letting herself go forthe first time in months.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - BIRTHING SUITE - EVENING113 113

Juno lies on the bed. She looks rested and relaxed comparedto her earlier crying jag, but her face is still pink andswollen. Bleeker is curled up next to her, still in his trackuniform and spikes.

JUNO V.O.Bleeker decided he didn't want tosee the baby. Neither did I,really. He didn't feel like ours.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 99.

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INT. HOSPITAL - MATERNITY WARD - EVENING114 114We see Vanessa leaning over the bassinet, unable to take hereyes off the baby, touching it's hair reverently.

JUNO V.O.I think he was always hers.

OMITTED115 115

INT. LORING HOUSE - NURSERY - DAY116 116

The nursery is perfectly decorated in Vanessa's immaculatetaste. Nothing looks as though it's been touched. We see theantique ROCKING CHAIR sitting empty.

JUNO V.O.It ended with a chair.

We pan past the wall Vanessa had said "needed something."There's a framed note on the wall. It looks like it washandwritten on the back of a Jiffy Lube bill. We see that itsays: "Vanessa - If you're still in, I'm still in. Juno."

We move to the door and get a view of Vanessa's bedroom. Wesee her lying in bed with a burp cloth draped over hershoulder, feeding the baby. For the first time ever, Vanessalooks disorganized, unshowered--and incredibly happy. Thereare formula bottles on the bedside table and a bassinetpushed close to the bed. Obviously, she hasn't been away fromthe baby for a single moment.

The baby reaches up and grabs Vanessa's thumb. Vanessa glowswith an expression of pure bliss.

OMITTED117 117

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OMITTED118 118

EXT. MACGUFF HOUSE - DAY119 119

It's a sparkling summer afternoon. Juno wheels her bicycleout of the detached garage. She waves goodbye to Bren, who isplaying in the yard with two WEIMARANERS. She looks almost ashappy with her dogs as VANESSA looked with her baby.

EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS - DAY120 120

Juno rides her bike aggressively down the street. Her guitaris slung over her shoulder in a gig bag. She's obviously notpregnant anymore. She looks happy, but older.

JUNO V.O.As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker istotally boss. He is the cheese tomy macaroni. I know people aresupposed to fall in love beforethey reproduce, but normalcy's notreally our style.

As she tears recklessly down the street on her bikes, shepasses the Dancing Elk TRACK TEAM, still running inoutrageously skimpy shorts and bandanas.

Juno RIDES up to a garage where Bleeker is sitting, tuninghis guitar.

EXT. BLEEKER HOUSE - DAY121 121

Juno bikes up to find Bleeker sitting on the stoop. Shesmiles and takes out her guitar. She sits across from Bleekerand pulls the pick out of the strings.

JUNO

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 100.

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Ready?Bleeker nods.

Juno begins strumming her guitar and playing "Anyone Else ButYou," by the Moldy Peaches. Bleeker joins in. At first theirplaying is discordant, but suddenly it works.

BLEEKERYou're a part time lover and a fulltime friend. The monkey on yourback is the latest trend.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

I don't see what anyone can see, inanyone else but you.

JUNOHere is the church and here is thesteeple. We sure are cute for twougly people. I don't see what anyonecan see, in anyone else but you.

BLEEKERWe both have shiny happy fits ofrage. You want more fans, I wantmore stage. I don't see what anyonecan see, in anyone else but you.

JUNOYou are always trying to keep itreal. I'm in love with how youfeel. I don't see what anyone cansee, in anyone else but you.

Juno - Production Revised Yellow - 3/05/07 101.CONTINUED:121 121

BLEEKER (cont'd)

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BLEEKERI kiss you on the brain in the shadowof a train. I kiss you all starry-eyed, my body's swinging from side toside. I don't see what anyone cansee, in anyone else but you.

JUNOThe pebbles forgive me, the treesforgive me. So why can't youforgive me? I don't see what anyonecan see, in anyone else but you.

JUNO AND BLEEKER TOGETHERDu du du du du du dudu. Du du du dudu du dudu. I don't see what anyonecan see, in anyone else but you.

She and Bleeker exchange glances as they play. They smileambiguously. Juno leans over and kisses Bleeker on the cheek.

Pull out to reveal the surrounding green suburb buzzing withlife and summer activity.

FADE TO BLACK

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