june 2011

2THE G.O.O.D.S MAGAZINE JUNE 2011

CHIEF EDITOR

OMARR OLASEWERE

MANAGING EDITOR

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

WRITERS

LAUREN MERCADO

LARRY DUPARD

KIM CLARKJOANNA LOVETTTIFFANI CHYNELJAMILAH GATESJENNIFER MCLAUGHLINSHARI SPELLERDONNA WILKINSKAREN ANCHETA

6 10 24 26

32 42 44 64

68 78 80 82

94 96 112.:ENJOY:.

EDITORSLETTER

SSummer. A singular word sentence that carries memories, excitement, and this year... Bohemian fashion! Every January, fashionistas everywhere begin toning up and preparing for swimwear and cutoffs but contrary to our normal routine, baggy, over-sized shirts (only baring our muffin-topless part of our tummy) are in! It’s time to tap into out Mary-Kate and Ashley side show less ass and more fabric! This year it is all about baring our out-erwear rather than uncomfortable, excessive skin! In our June issue we have shared what we at the G.O.O.D.S believe are HOTT (yes, with a double “t”) this summer. At parties this month if you are sporting a swimsuit..please don’t forget your hippie headband, leather fanny pack or something with some sort of feather ( we say “or” because you will look like a fool with all of these at once (according to Coco Chanel you should always take off one accessory before you leave the house)! This month we challenge each of our readers to brand yourself as the boho-chic girl at the party that people want to dress like but do not have the courage to do! For men, we expect you to step out of the cargo shorts and Reef flip-flops and into Jamilia’s looks that are covered on page 42. Our magazine, without our readers and contributors would be a “California Dream” (thanks Katy Per-ry!) however, because of each of you, we are constantly able to release monthly. We are ready to shed light on you though our new section G.O.O.D. Looks. In this section we will highlight “everyday” fashionistas and loyal readers! This is your chance to see your face and your style on the pages! We want to to thank you for contribu-tions and what’s better? The staff is excited to view your submissions! As editors we are always asked what, in the magazine, we would we buy, what advice we take and which editorial is our favorite. So, this month we have added editors picks. We have marked what our favorite articles are and what items we think are “must haves” for the season! We can tell you this was a blast to pick our staff favorites and share them with you...it was also really hard, considering we could only pick a minimal amount! Thanks to our contributing writers Whitney, Kim and Jamila...we have various picks that are covered through each of their articles. Not only fashion we covered, like previous issues we have shared with you relationships columns, music reviews and travel pieces. Karen, Joanna, and Donna have contributed amazing pieces that we believe will make you laugh, party, rock out and healthy (thanks Karen, Joanna and Donna!). Enjoy our June issue and let us know what you think after the amazing fashion-orgasm that you experi-ence. We look forward to hearing your feedback!

Have a G.O.O.D month.

Your editors,


Photographer Frederic Charpentier Model: MayaStylist: John Galang Hair Stylist: Paula Peralta Makeup: Garce Phillips

COVER Jumpsuit: H&M belt: Mossimo earrings: H&M bracelets: H&M socks: Juicy Couture shoes: Jessica Simpson

THIS PAGE bikini bottom: H&M necklace: H&M socks: Juicy Couture shoes: Jessica Simpson

http://fredericphotography.com

http://www.envymodelmanagement.com/women.php

http://www.modelmayhem.com/1281570


http://www.purplegrapesmakeup.com/

Forget the tired been-there, done-that plaid scarf…this summer season is all about color and individualism. And start donating your old accessories! We don't want any of our readers turning into hoarders!

Chand

elier

Earr

ings

Fashion Forward Statement Hats

Turban Headbands

Cat Eye Sunglasses

This look as been spotted on Kardashian's, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Moss, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen and J.Lo. This headband will complete a bohemian look, keep your hair off your face at the beach and add glamour to your everyday ensemble.

Do you find yourself buying new sunglasses each summer? Try not to drop, break or lose these babies because they're timeless! These will most likely be stolen by your future grand-children for another fashion throw-back era! These add high glam and character to your classic style. Check out Gucci and Valentino, they have great innova-tive cat eye designs.

summeraccessoriesby: kim clark


Fashion Forward Statement Hats

White !

Break out the Tide-to-go Stain Remover pens

because white will forever be the go-to crisp color! Designers like

Chloe, D&G, Tommy Hilfiger, Dior, Derek Lam and Lilly Pulitzer are jumped all

over this shade!

A Good Matte Bronzer

Say goodbye to Snooki shim-mer cheeks. The look is now to have a multi dimensional, chis-eled, crafted face without the Jersey Shore stigma!

Candy Color Purses

Hermes, Furla, Chloe, Carolina Herrara, Christian Louboutin and Burberry are all pushing bright colors to add that pop to your day.

UnisexAccessories

Double Banded Belts

Belts flatter your figure and add dimension.

Motorcycle Inspired Fashion

S a y

GOOD -BYE to mili-

tary! Designers have recently added

the zipper, leather and hardware of what seems to be

motorcycle chic.

Chunky Large Face Watches

Let’s

admit

it…the

men's

Rolex lin

e out-sh

ines their

women's c

ollecti

on.

by: kim clark


Stylish Keyholder

Want to stand out? Add some funk to your car keys.

YSL designed multiple men’s leather shoes with a 2 and a half inch heel! Those Italians love their height!

Business Heels

Clear Stylish Bubble Umbrellas

Silicone Bright Fashion Jelly Watches

Don’t let rain get you down…fashion is weather-proof and gender-proof!

Perfect for that summer jog or a day by the pool!

BEHIND THE SCENES

INTERLUDE

HOT ARTISTSON THE

RISEBY: Joanna Lovett

Founder of The Gough House Project


I love my live music year round - but I specifi-cally love my live music when the sun is shining strong. Below you will find my top picks for hot artists that you not only don’t want to miss this summer, but that are on the RISE. Catch these guys fast before they top the charts and its im-possible to get tickets!

NewVillager is not just a band, they are an art collective with their own mythology - a “ten part framework” that dissects the process of forming ideas and coming of age. Their songs have recently gained tremendous momentum. Their creative abilities are not only displayed in their music but also in their live interactive performances. For example, in 2010 they organized the 30 piece Rich Door Game in San Francisco where audience members were taken through a 10 piece interactive arr exhibit that es-sentially was a NewVillager game. If only all bands were this hands on! Needless to say they are dedicated to producing art in all forms that is representative of their ideas and vision. I highly suggest checking them out this summer to get the full NewVillager experience.

Favorite Songs: Rich Doors, LightHouse

NewVillager.com

NewVillager


My love affair with The Peach Kings began the moment I heard Paige Wood’s voice and Steven Dies’ fingers hit the strings of his guitar. It was instantaneous as it is for most people. Their sound has been described as “an organic blend of gypsydelic, rootsy soul.” The Peach Kings music is sultry with just the right amount of angst - it’s the kind of music you just want to move to and sing to and most likely make out to after - and isn’t that what spring and summer is all about? Their performances and songs in general have a tendency to win over all ages, which I feel is a true indication of talent. The Peach Kings recently returned home to L.A. from their West coast tour with roughly 20 new songs and are now, as a result, working on their new release. These highly anticipated new songs has been described by the band as having “velvet woozy vocals and harmonic smokey guitar tones.” AMAZING.

In addition to playing various gigs this spring and summer, The Peach Kings have made plans to give back and share their creative wisdom with the community. The band has teamed up with The Vision Academy - a program in the Bay Area that seeks to empower youth through exposure and assistance in various academic and creative arenas - and will be teaching a handful of classes.

Favorite Songs: By Your Side, Fisherman thepeachkings.bandcamp.com

The Peach Kings

While

YpCHT is not new

to the music scene, they are

certainly on the rise. YpCHT started as a

solo project in 2002 by Jona Bechtolt, by 2008 current band

mate Claire L. Evans joined and the two began officially collaborating.

When you see YpCHT perform you will notice quickly that they generally do not intro-

duce themselves as YpCHT, instead they open by announcing THIS IS YpCHT. This power statement

says it all. They are more than a band, they are a belief system, philosophy, and brand.Their sound is comprised

of elements reminiscent of LCD Soundsystem and The Talking Heads. It doesn’t get much more dynamic than this. YpCHT’s up-

beat yet unusual sound paired with the sophisticated and pertinent concept behind their band makes YpCHT a hot band on the rise. Don’t

miss the handful of shows left in the U.S. before they tour Europe!

Favorite Songs: Dystopia, Psychic City teamyacht.com

YpCHT


Hailing from Los Angeles, California - Foster the People has a super youthful sound that quite frankly makes my fingers snap, which I do not say often. Highlighting Foster The People as an artist on the rise seems a little silly considering they almost immediately became well known after their song “Pumped Up Kicks” began circulating on sites such as Hype Machine. However their quick success is worth noting, and their music is most certainly worth seeing live. For a band that has only released an EP, they are doing phenomenally well which is a direct result of their raw talent. They not only were in attendance at this years SXSW they also played at Coachella. Their anticipated album, Torches, will be available May 24th and you can catch them on tour through out summer all over the country - but get tickets ASAP as many of their shows are already sold out!

Favorite Songs: Helena Beat, Pumped Up KicksFosterThePeople.com

Foster The People

Photographer Jean ClaudeModel Cassie Stevens

Makeup Artist & Hair Stylist Dari Ada SoWardrobe Stylist Irene Manjarrez

LITTLE HOUSEBIG DREAMS32THE G.O.O.D.S MAGAZINE JUNE 2011

SMOKE SIgNALS


SMOKE SIgNALS

Location: the country house locationModels: Sanja Miletic, Natalia Scvedova, Naoumie Ekiko for Q Management NYC Photographer: lorenzo de Guia MUA: Kristy Strate Hair: Rachael Bodt Hair Assistant: Lucianna Pezzolo Production coordinator and Pyrotechnics: Ananda Abreu Wardrobe Stylist: Tara D.

http://www.shootlorenzo.com

www.kristymakeup.com

www.tadstyle.com

Natalia DRESS Mina Stone RING Arian Arazi EARRINGS Delicate Raymond BRACELET Delicate Raymond Sanja DRESS Mina Stone BELT Liz Claibourne EARRINGS Liz Claibourne Naoumie DRESS Maishadahati BELT Vintage

Natalia BLOUSE Lie Sang Bong PANTS Lie Sang Bong NECKLACE Ariane Arazi SHOES Report Signature


Sanja DRESS Supertrash NECKLACES Delicate Raymond EARRINGSDelicate Raymond RING House of Harlow

Natalia DRESS Suzanne Rae SHOES Christian Louboutin BRACELET Delicate Raymond


Sanja DRESS Yumi Kim BELT Lie Sang Bong EARRINGS The Garment Room NYC Vintage

Naoumie ROMPER Misile EARRINGS Delicate Raymond


Naoumie DRESS Olclay Gulsen NECKLACEDelicate Raymond

Sanja DRESSSuzanneRae EARRINGSDrausvold

Sanja DRESS Olclay Gulsen BELT BUCKLE Valerie BaradNaoumie JUMPSUIT Supertrash BELT BUCKLE Valerie Barad

Naoumie DRESS Maishadahati NECKLACE Delicate Raymond BELT The Garment Room NYC Vintage

Natalia ROMPER Misile NECKLACE Candace Ang EARRINGS Drausvold BELT The Garment Room NYC


Sanja JUMPSUITJajo Couture NECKLACE worn as beltThe Garment Room NYC EARRINGS Drausvold

Natalia DRESS Ashish EARRINGS Delicate Raymond


Sanja DRESS Leila Shams NECKLACE The Garment Room NYCEARRINGS Delicate Raymond


Naoumie JUMPSUIT Mina Stone EARRINGS Tarmet

Natalia DRESS Ashish EARRINGS Delicate Raymond

MENSSummer Casual Wear

BY: Jamilia Gates


Summer Casual Wear ith the summer season finally here, it’s time for fashion!

When it comes to summer fashion, it isn’t just about the ladies, but the men too. Summertime heat equals casual wear, however for men this also means SWAG!Guys, swag doesn’t mean just throw on a snapback, a pair of Jordans and a Ralph Lauren shirt. Those are all great wardrobe items, but to be truly fashionable, you must think outside the box and have the balls and con-fidence to back it up.Hot themes for men’s casual wear are color hues and vibrant colors, pop art inspirations, oversized tanks and the nautical bohemian look. It also doesn’t hurt to throw some all white ensembles in there too. Last but not least, the retrofied west-coaster look is one the most popular trends of the summer.Color hues and vibrant colors bring the pop to an outfit for the summer. Bright colors are great with patterns.

W

The pop art inspiration also plays a ma-jor role with incorporating bright col-ors. Pop art inspirations dwell from the traditional Andy Warhol pieces as well as artwork by modern day artist Kendrick Daye. Artists from Kanye West to Nicki Minaj to Big Sean, are modern day icons of this theme. Be aware, this look isn’t for ever dude, but if you’re a trendsetter, you can make it work!

As the retro look has taken urban fashion by storm, the retro Cali west coast look is major for summer. The mixes of over-sized tanks, snapbacks, flannels, skinny jeans and flashy kicks are the epitome of west coast style. Don’t be afraid to throw some camouflage shorts in there. Popular artists Tyga and Wiz Khalifa are great im-ages of this trend.


For more inspirations, some great places to look are lookbook.nu and theurbangent.com. Also checkout designer Melody Ehsani’s website for accessories like pins or pop art rings and chains. Although many of her designs are for women, there are some items for men and also unisex items.Remember style has no boundaries, but must be backed with confidence, because personality makes style.

Lastly, the modern day bohemian look. Bohemian looks include nude colors, knapsacks moccasins and khakis. This look is the most casual and light for summer.

IAM

EVERYTHINGPhotographer: Eniko SzucsStylist: Renessta OldsMakeup and Hair: Laura Castellano Model: Michael Crowestylist: assistant: Kemi Adaramola


http://www.enikoszucs.com

http://www.reneeostylelab.com

IAM

EVERYTHING

T Shirt: Gilded AgeDenim: Gilded AgeHat: KangolSneakers: Cadillac


Button Down Shirt: Thomas PinkTie: Thomas PinkJeans: Gilded Age


Jacket: Gilded AgeShirt: Thomas PinkPants: Gilded Age Bow Tie: The Art of EMJShoes: Town Shoes


Military Jacket: Tripp NYCPlaid Pants: Tripp NYC


EVERYTHING

MIAMI

NIKKI

BEACHby: Jennifer McLaughlin


MIAMI

ommonly referred to as one of the “sexiest party spots” in the world we were expecting big things from this open-air day and night club. This oceanfront complex begins the day as an upscale res-taurant and transforms into a “see and be seen” club and lounge at night. We chose to visit the afternoon beach soiree during the world famous Sunday Brunch we had heard so much about. The crowd is a vision of mostly tourists lazily wandering up to the bar to order their next Bloody Mary with expectations of mingling with a poten-tial match. Don’t come expecting your average beach par-ty, this party doesn’t include water. The white fabric lined cabanas and beach beds are located directly on the sand, situated under swaying palm trees. There is a section of the beach within steps of the ocean waves designated to Nikki guests but the party and social scene remain back at the venue.It’s hard to beat the sophisticated atmosphere here, the modern beats and minimal lifestyle is in every corner of the landmark jewel. The music brings out the crowd as resident DJ’s mix the latest and greatest with a house twist. Most dance from their cabana, with the high cost of $300 a pop for a couple hours we wouldn’t stray far either.

If you are still recouping from the night before opt for the amazing variety of delectable brunch choices along with fabulous Mojito’s, Bloody Mary’s and Mimosa’s created with the South Beach flair that this Miami hotspot is fa-mous for. Trust us these are worth the sticker shock price. Hey you’re in Miami; expect to throw around money like P. Diddy! Do you label yourself as the ultimate VIP and want to im-press your friends? Bring them here, and watch their eyes pop, as the chic SoBe experience with its rich and beauti-ful crowd showcases great people watching. Throw back cocktails with the pretty people in one of the clubs tepees or signature hammocks. In the evening the atmosphere changes; tiki torches are lit and club goers enjoy the sand as their dance floor and the sky as their roof! Don’t even think about going casual just because you’re at the beach, dressing to impress is still a must.Tip: Order a Strawberry Margarita from one of the sculpted tan servers it was one of our personal faves.

C

ledisi

pieces ofme

by: Shari Speller


"People just don't know what I'm about / They haven't seen what's there behind my smile / There's so much more of me I'm showin out / these are the pieces of me. When it looks like I'm up sometimes I'm down / I'm alone even when people all around / but that don't change the happiness I found / these are the pieces of me." The words expressed here are the feel-ings and thoughts of so many women. Voiced by the timeless sound of the multi Grammy nominated artist, Ledisi has shared pieces of herself with the world in her latest album Pieces of Me. Proudly representing both New Orleans, Louisiana and Oakland, California this talented artist has a healthy blend of jazz, funk, soul and blues from both of her homes that she delivers with each note of every song she sings. In a recent phone interview the sweet, soft spoken and bubbly Ledisi; shares an inside look on the process of making this album; as well as her favorite pieces and what she wants her audiences to take away from a very personal journey. One of the pieces that Ledisi says she put into this album was "confi-dence, it was a lot of fun getting to this place, a lot of work too." Getting to a place of confidence and being able to share that openly takes time and for this songstress it was an unusual eight months. "It took eight months just to begin writing. It started by us [ producers, Chuck Harmony, Rex Rideout, Ivan & Carvin, and KayGee] talking about what would 'Ledisi Radio' be like." With the highly anticipated album release on June 14th 2011 'Ledisi Radio' would be a very popular station! "[Ledisi Radio would be about] my life, things that I love. In pervious albums [Lost and Found 2007, Turn Me Loose 2009] I have talked about my journey, but this time I talk about me. How I have grown lyri-cally, spiritually and with my song writing." Being brave enough to expose oneself to the masses does come with a bit of concern. "Of course I am afraid people would judge who I am" even with that possibility the empowering singer reflects once again with a gleeful "I had a fun time." Enjoying the fruit of ones labor is important in any ven-ture of life. When it comes to art and music in particular the fruit of a happy labor is even sweeter. Many fans will have their favorites from this album. Some personal favorites are the al-bum's titled single Pieces of Me and Shut Up. Shut Up is a song to all the haters that told Ledisi she would never be where she is today. Even though the song is addressing the haters of the world, it originates from being cut off in LA traffic. As for Ledisi her favorite is "the project as a whole; if I had to list a few then Pieces of Me because it explains myself as a woman, Hate That You Love Me and Be Good To Yourself." For Ledisi this album is considered to be a "softer side, more feminine side, tangible. They will be shocked." Having an inside scope to the wide rang-ing sides of a phenomenal artist makes for an almost unsettling anticipation for the release date. A musician on the rise has many

inspirations and motivations. Ledisi reveals that her inspiration is the "hope for [my] music to be timeless for every generation like with my audience. They are so mixed up; its really cool to see the combination of different generations" Ledisi is passion-ate about her music being a face to her audiences. "I want them to know that there is a voice that describes how they feel. I want to help men understand women." Pieces of Me is not only voic-ing who Ledisi is, but who so many women are. She has found a way to bring light to our emotions in a careful and gentle way that will help men see why and how complex women are and that it is truly beautiful. With lines like.... like every woman I know / I'm complicated fo sho / but when I love l love til there's no love no mo . She is doing a wonderful job of giving men an all access pass into the inner workings of women and how we love. Ledisi is a naturally shy person at times although one would never gather that from her powerful vocals, commanding, captivating, entertaining and quite at home stage presence. Shar-ing pieces of herself in this latest album was a bit of a challenge for the song bird, but not for the reasons one may think. "It was a struggle for me to stay in my lane. I would want to go in so many different directions some days from rock to hip hop to R&B." Thankfully Ledisi's muse and co- writer Claude Kelly was there to direct her back to her lane. With careful direction and guidance Ledisi has gathered all the pieces of the puzzle and has reveled an open, honest, pure and vulnerable look into being a woman. Having the ability to work in the various genres of music gives Ledisi an edge. Many artist are able to sing blues, funk, jazz and soul but few are able to make it a place they can comfortably call home; Ledisi is among those few. Many musicians have a purpose to the work they put out. Ledisi is no different, from this project she wants her audi-ence to "enjoy their lives, celebrate their lives." Ledisi is a woman that is unmatched at this time, with her soul stirring scats, love for her music, the message and the people that it reaches sets her on a bar high above many of today's more popular female art-ist. The music that she delivers is as rare and unchanging as her sweet, shy but wise and ever so observant spirit. A star within her own right she has an ultimate goal that has been accomplished since she sang her first note encouraged by her mother. "[My] ul-timate goal is to never be unnoticed. Remembered for the work I did. I want people to remember me."

Ohhhh As the pieces of me start to unfold / Now I start to under-stand / All that I am / A woman Not afraid to be strong STRONG...

Thank you Ledisi for being the strong woman that you are, for acknowledging and sharing your journey with so many women through the Pieces of Me.

Photographer: Gail BowmanModel: Dayla MorrowHair Stylist: Johnathan ThompsonMakeUp: Melina RuizWardrobe Stylist: Gabrielle LewisDesigner: Kenneth Barlis


Spiked Bra: Rafael BrunoMetal Spiked Corset: Rafael BrunoRing: Rafael Bruno


http://214designs.com

Pink Hat: Designer Kenneth BarlisDress: Ema Sahval


Blue Hat: UNEEKBOTEEKDress: Ema SahvalRed Heels: Brand: Poetic LicenceStyle: Dance All Night


EATING RIGHT

SUMMERCOOKOUTS

@

BY: Donna Wilkins


SUMMERCOOKOUTS

oes eating light mean eating right? Is it possible to eat as much as you want, when you want, without feeling sick or guilty? Probably not. Starting from Memorial Day all the way to Labor Day you will be invited to many summer cookouts. What you eat and the quantity you eat can make you feel one of two ways the next day, either good because you ate in moderation, or disgusted because you overate. The latter applies to the majority of us.The anticipation of the cuisine waiting to be devoured can make you drool. Cookouts can be an all day event, beginning in the early afternoon and running until evening. With this being said, most of us will eat way more than planned. When this happens we feel defeated. Why did I eat so much? Why didn’t I stop even after I was full? Why did I eat like this was my last meal? A great tactic is to fool yourself into thinking that you are full. Drink lots of water. Alcohol doesn’t count this only leaves you feeling dehydrated. When you feel like reaching for another handful of chips, drink water instead. The appetizers seem to keep growing and the main course hasn’t even been served. Put down the chicken wings, and pick up some veggies which will fill you up, but won’t fill you out. Even though you are not hungry, being around the foods you like triggers the brain which says, “Hey, I’m going to eat this because it’s here and I can.”After the cookout ends and your stomach has expanded to the point of explosion…but being upset with the hostess is not the answer! She is not the enemy. Those hands of yours are the culprit! While planning a summer meal, the hostess prepares dishes which are visually appealing, smell wonder-ful and an invitation to enjoy not gorge. Advice from Stacy Faulkner,

the Culinary Arts chair for the Oceanside Museum of Art, about when she prepared a pre-summer feast for the mu-seum’s volunteer luncheon: “ the key to eating well, when eating out, is to gravitate to foods that you like and eat in moderation.” This isn’t new advice, but something to keep in mind.The luncheon took place in a room surrounded by watercol-or paintings of California beaches. Therefore; Stacy wanted the presentation to be colorful, light and airy. The food was grilled. Thus began a healthy menu which included: chilled shrimp cocktail marinated in fresh basil, garlic and lemon. The summer vegetables; zucchini, Portobello and button mushrooms, asparagus and red onions were all tossed in a balsamic dressing with thyme and basil. Her herb rubbed roasted pork loin with grilled grape tomatoes was sprinkled with fresh rosemary. Red, sweet pickled peppers were stuffed with French goat cheese. The chicken salad was mix with red onions, celery and tarragon.Salads are a must and a good filler! Stacy’s blanched broccoli with golden raisins, red cabbage, pine nuts and green on-ions were tossed in garlic and creamy Caesar dressing. Next, a spinach & mescaline with mandarin oranges, strawberries, almonds, red onions, were all tossed in vinaigrette dressing. Finally, a blanched green bean salad with feta cheese, mush-rooms and char grilled red onions tossed in a balsamic garlic dressing rounded out the trio of salads.ऀWhile many cookouts won’t have such a healthy menu, there will be healthy choices hiding among the temptations. Therefore, yes, you can eat right at every cookout you attend this summer. Happy eating….yum!

D

SHE'S COME

UNDONEPhotographers: Villanueva Stone

Models: Brooke Alexandra Alyssa Wakefield

makeup and hair: Ashley Lueckenhoff Wardrobe Stylist: Sara Prado

http://villanuevastone.com

http://ashmathews.com/


Karen changed herrelationship

status tomarried single it's complicated

in a relationship

by karen Ancheta


“Relationships are not what they used to be”, I remember Tony telling me when I was something like fifteen while sitting in his pizza shop engrossed in a large cheese and pepperoni pizza. We were talking about how difficult dating and how in other cultures the whole dating thing is completely unheard of and your pops picks your husband. And he is usu-ally your pop’s best friend’s kid whom you’ve been promised to since he was like 3 years old and you were barely a day old. “That’s so much easier then you having to venture out there in the craziness of the world and find someone you can actually put up with,” Tony said. As you can tell I’ve never forgotten that conversation and for good reasons because relationships are not what they used to be. Now let’s pretend for the sake of this conversation that I am actually IN a relationship. And do not ask me to clarify that point because even I don’t know the answer to that. Which will explain the reason why my Facebook relationship status says “It’s Complicated”. But it truly is. It’s complicated going on a date, it’s complicated staying focused while on a date, es-pecially if there are way better looking people around you then the one you are with, while on a date. I know, sounds horrible, but don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Cause you KNOW! Once you’ve agreed that you are both into each other, or at least can tolerate each other you can go on another date. Hopefully this time to a place with not as many distractingly beautiful people. Go to a baseball game, your focal point has already been designated for you. Now that you are all into each other and you decide to be together, become an item, go out, go steady or whatever it is that they call that nowadays, are you one of those that posts it all quick on Facebook for the world to know you’re not a single loser anymore? Because I’ve noticed that some of my girlfriends find it very demeaning to have to say they are SINGLE on FB. God forbid someone would ask why such a pretty girl is single. I have the answer for you, cause she’s a basket case, or looney or just way more high mainte-nance than anyone in their right mind is willing to put up with. That is not always the truth about most women, but my friends say that that is the thought process for most guys. You know we are in trouble when people are so hung up about who people perceive them to be based on their Face-book relationship status. But the status of ones relationships single, married, divorced or what have you is not the only thing that FB influences. Matter of fact, I have been witnessed to some serious relationship collapses because of statuses posted on FB. For example, about three weeks ago my friends got into a fight. One left to the mom’s house and the other to FB. I did not have to ask anyone how they were doing in the progres-sion of the disagreement and the subsequent collapse of the relationship. The FB’er let us all know that the partner was a complete loser who never did anything for her and was never

willing to compromise and sucked up her life from the minute they got together. The partner went about his business taking care of errands, the dog and the kids. This apparent denial or lack of interest on the part of the partner was offensive to the FB’er who pointed out how heartbroken she was and how her partner seemed like nothing was going on. Some of us commented that maybe that was the best most mature way of handling things be-cause the last thing she really needed was to be engaged in her angry rants. Later that day I spoke to my friend and asked what was the situation and the response I got was extremely funny. “Let her vent, don’t worry about it. I give her until tomorrow and then she will be calling me to come back home.” Either my friend is psychic or he knows her very well be-cause by morning the next day she was posting how much she missed him and how much she loved him and how she wished he would take her calls and just work things out. Are you serious? After all the nonsense from the day before I would be so hurt and annoyed I would not be calling anyone back. As we were talking about this another set of friends were just getting together. Apparently they were just realizing that they really liked each other and had tons of things in common. So the cutesy little messages began to appear from one wall to the other. “I miss your voice.” And then the response, “ I miss yours”. And the status changes every few minutes. “You make me smile that my face hurts,” or “I never thought anyone would ever make me feel like this,” yada yada yada. The only problem I have with all that is that I know these people. They fall in and out of love as quickly as Macy’s has the back to school sale. Then once they get in each others face for longer then a few hours at a time and sex is not involved they real-ize how much they can’t stand each other. And then, you guessed it, the statuses begin to appear. “Why do I always give so much so soon.” Or “I wish you would listen once in a while, its not all about you.” Now correct me if I’m wrong but does putting your busi-ness out there for the world to see make things better or are you asking for more trouble? Because I’ve noticed that when someone posts something like “he is just so unreal sometimes, fml!” some of your not so helpful friends are going to comment things like, “you should just bounce girl!” or “I would send his ass packing if I was you” or my personal favorite “we need a girls night out and find us all a new man…LOL”. I asked several people if they thought posting their per-sonal relationship issues was harmful to the relationship and most of them said yes. Then I asked those who actually do it why they still did it and they said that they were just venting. That their partners knew it was just FB, nothing serious. Well, I’m one of those old fashion kind of chics and I take everything someone says on FB, text or conversation seriously. And we will brawl or have a chic fight if you say the wrong thing to me and try to brush it off as J/K/G.“just kidding girl”. Uh uh, not just kidding. I will pull your wig off. Don’t play with me like that, it’s not funny.

june 2011

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