Journalism E-100Proseminar in Journalism:

Writing and ReportingInstructor: Angelia Herrin

July 1, 2008

Style Quiz

1)A diaper saved a 10 month old (10-month-old) baby from a gunshot wound.

2)Grace Ford, a twenty year old (20), said the robbers stole 6000 dollars ($6,000).

3)10-month-old (Ten-month-old)Brandi Ford was wearing an extra-thick diaper, which may have saved her life. 

 

4)Grace Ford was sitting in her living room at 11: 30 at night (p.m.) on Sunday when robbers burst into her home.

5)Right-handed females tend to live 5 (five) years longer than left-handed females. Right-handed males live ten (10) years longer than left-handed males. 

6)Jason Gott received a postcard thirty (30) years too late.

7)Businesses that have more than fifteen (15) employees must educate workers about sexual harassment.

8)The woman’s daughter was just five years old (5). 

9)Most of the telephone calls were to places along the east coast (East Coast) of the U.S. (since 2005 AP says U.S.)

10)The survey showed the ninety % (percent) of the American people lie routinely .

 11)Alistair Farrell lives at 1914 Livingston Street (St.) , just off of Michigan Ave. (Avenue) and the corner of 5th (Fifth) Street.

Inside Advice on AP Style

• Jeanne reveals all the secrets of The Christian Science Monitor

A Word On Slugs

• For each assignment send a NEW email with your name and the slug with draft or rewrite in the subject line

• Send attached article as Word document

• At the top, include this information: name, slug, draft or rewrite. Example:

Don SmithFourth of July, Draft

Raised On Robbery Story

Hard News Lede

A baby and her mother were robbed in their Cambridge home Wednesday, when armed intruders fled with jewelry worth $5,000.

The robbery took place at approximately 11:30 p.m. Two armed and masked men pushed in the door to Grace Ford, 20 and her 10-month-old baby. In the house was also Cynthia Phillips, 16, Ford´s sister and the family Rottweiler ,Elka, who started to bark as the men rushed in.

Fun

A diaper saved a 10-month-old from a gunshot during an armed robbery at a Cambridge home.

The bullet pierced the crying baby’s extra thick diaper in the intruders’ attempt to shut a barking Rottweiler up.

At approximately 11:30 p.m. Sunday, two armed men, described as 18 to 20 years old, burst into a North Pemberton Street

More Fun

 Extra-thick diapers may save your

child’s life. Ten-month-old Brandi Ford was lying in

her play pen late last night when two armed robbers entered her Cambridge home, demanding money and jewelry from her startled mother Grace Ford.

Lots of Fun

  Grace Ford received more protection

than she had budgeted for when she put her 10-month-old-baby, Brandi, in a pair of super absorbent diapers: it stopped a bullet.

Good Story

An extra-thick diaper may have saved 10-month-old Brandi Ford from a bullet late Sunday.

Two armed, masked robbers burst into Brandi’s home at 11:30 p.m. and demanded money from the baby’s mother, Grace Ford, 20, as they sat in the front room.

When the family’s Rottweiler watchdog, Elka, began barking, the intruders fired three shots at the dog, sheriff’s deputies said. All three shots missed the dog, but one bullet put a hole in Brandi’s diaper as she sat in her play pen.

When Brandi began crying, her mother picked her up and found the bullet hole and the bullet.

“There was about an inch left to the diaper that it didn’t pierce,” Ford said. “They were extra thick.”

The robbers pushed Brandi, Ford and her sister, Cynthia Phillips, 16, from room to room and took about $5,000 in jewelry, Ford said.

Neighbors head the shots and called sheriff’s deputies…..

Too Much Fun?

CAMBRIDGE, MA –Diapers are known for saving baby droppings from hitting the floor, not for saving a baby’s life.

A bullet-proof diaper was the hero late last night when a burglar sent a gunshot towards an infant in her play pen. The extra padding on the diaper absorbed the bullet, preventing any harm to 10-month-old Brandi Ford.

Not So Much Fun

Cambridge Police have reported a robbery on Pemperton Street. The incident occurred around 11:30 pm last night. The local police have reported that there were no serious injuries. The robbers fired three gunshots at the family dog to stop him from barking. The bullets missed the dog and one bullet ended up logged in the babies diaper. The baby, 10-month-old Brandi Ford was unharmed. The diaper potentially saved her life.

Watch Outs

  Two armed intruders, still at large, terrorized two young women and a baby on Pemberton Street, the first armed robbery in this neighborhood. The men shot baby Brandi, 10 months old, and the family dog before making off with $5,000 with jewelry.

Do we know that?

  Cambridge, Mass. – A community is shaken after two masked gunmen forced entry into a Pemberton Street home and nearly shot a 10 months old baby in the process. Grace Ford, 20, was watching television in her living room as her daughter, Brandi Ford, slept

Did we know that?

Also in the home, Ford’s sister, Cynthia Phillips, 16, ran from the kitchen to investigate the commotion. All three occupants were then pushed from room to room while the assailants gathered valuables.

Ford’s Rottweiler then attacked the intruders, who began firing at the dog

We knew that in the next sentence

The events on Pemberton Street had not gone completely unnoticed by the rest of the neighborhood.(Neighbor Rebecca Laffey said she had heard the gunshots and subsequently made the call to the sheriff’s office. However, when the deputies arrived, the robbers had already left the scene of the crime, as an escape car with a driver waiting had been parked in a cemetery close by

Handy Guidelines

• Never add anything that wasn’t there• Never deceive the audience

(reconstruction etc.)• Provide transparency (“where did you

get that?) (But a reason for journalist blogs?

• Do your own reporting• Acknowledge questions left unaswered

Attribution: When and Where

Use attribution if your information

• INVOLVES CRIME• implies blame • is controversial • had doubtful validity • might be disputed • might be questionable • when opinions are offered • direct and indirect quotations

Do we need it?

A hurricane passed over Cambridge Thursday afternoon.

It was the largest storm ever to go through the Boston area.

Republican Susan Smith pulled an upset victory in the mayoral race Tuesday.

A 2-year-old girl playing with a lighter started the fire at the Colonial Manor apartments near Tufts University Monday that caused about $300,000 in damages, police said Thursday.

“She just kind of flicked it and she caught the sheets on fire,” said Capt. Ed Crowley.

A 2-year-old girl escaped injury when a mattress she was sitting on caught fire and engulfed the studio apartment at the Colonial Manor in flames.

Cambridge fire officials said that the fire caused more than $450,000 to the complex near Tufts University.

Attribution Quiz

• 1. An employment workshop for foreign students will be at 3:30 p.m. today in the student union.

• 2. Dieting doesn’t work for the vast majority of people.

• 3. A fire that caused an estimated $150,000 damage to a home in the western part of the city was caused by a lighted cigarette on a sofa.

• 4. A man shot and killed his wife because he was convinced she was having an affair with his best friend.

• 5.Alumni members of Skull and Bones, an all-male secret society at Yale, have voted to admit women.

• 6. A Tufts student died early Sunday after drinking at a dorm party.

Where does it go?

“Normal speaking order is preferred,” said the professor.

• Or

“Normal speaking order is preferred,” the professor said.

It depends – on your intent, your paper’s style and how those verbs of attribution sound of the page

Don’t wear it outConsistency CountsKeep it in the moment

Said vs. Says

Herrin’s Pet Peeve

• “I just love the class,” she giggled.

• “Why is the class so hard?” he choked out.

• If you must

• “I’m going to try out for the circus,” she said, laughing.

You May Have Wondered Why We Invited You to This

Party? How come I am reading this story

right now?

WHY SHOULD I CARE ?

Is it a part of something bigger?

Look for the Nut Graph

Jeff Barton buckled his 2-year-old into the car seat, and tilted his head toward the back. There, he said, was a hint of his double life."We keep the wakeboards in the back of the minivan," he said, sliding the door closed. "You never know when a session is going to pop up."If you ask Barton, 36, what he does for a living, he'll tell you he's a stay-at-home father. But the Moorestown resident also happens to be one of the top master wakeboarders in the country and the TV face of the extreme sport - an amalgam of surfing, snowboarding and waterskiing.

Nut Graph

Anna Simons has been dodging developers for as long as she can remember.“My father was one of the few who refused to sell to the Levitts,” said Simons, referring to the legendary builder whose homes redefined Southeld after World War II. Today, Simons, owner of the 100-acre Pine Holo Farm in Buckingham, is confident history won’t repeat itself. She is among a group of Bucks County farmers who sold development rights to the county, making a pact to preserve it as agricultural land during her lifetime and for generations to come.This week, against a backdrop of

• Her story reflects a growing movement among some conservative Protestant pastors to bring back church discipline, an ancient practice in which suspected sinners are privately confronted and then publicly castigated and excommunicated if they refuse to repent. While many Christians find such practices outdated, pastors in large and small churches across the country are expelling members for offenses ranging from adultery and theft to gossiping, skipping service and criticizing church leaders.

Nut Graph and Context

Connecticut State Police banned hand-held radar guns Monday while researchers study whether troopers who may be in danger of developing cancer from exposure to radiation from the devices.

The ban effects only 70 radar guns in Meridian County, but troopers will continue using cruiser-mounted transmitters to monitor speed.

The ban, considered the first of its kind by a state agency, comes two months after three municipal police officers in Connecticut filed workers’ compensation claims, saying they developed cancer from using handheld guns.

Context and Size of Story

Three suggestions:• 1)Statistics: Joe McGonegal is one of aff

10,000 Americans affected every day.• 2)Your observations: Lawns across Monroe

County are brown and dry this summer• Experts’ assessment: Some doctors say

this is the worst outbreak of whooping cough they’ve ever seen in Bloomington.

Cut to the chase nut graph

Make up your mind what the story is about and why people should read it – and then type that conclusion in one or two sentences.

And THENRewrite! It’s often helpful to write and

rewrite the nut graphs through the course or reporting the story – it reveals holes and helps you avoid those little side trips!

Your Story Ideas Here