Abigail & Kaitlin

Journal 2014

Annie’s water broke tonight at about 10:30. They asked us to go to the IMC on 53rd South. They would have admitted us there but they were on “divert”. In other words their NICU was full. She has been in the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center Hospital since then.

August 14, 2014 Thursday

It was a long night. They monitored the babies and weren’t willing to send us to UVRMC until they were sure they were stable. Finally, at about 5:30am, they put Annie in an ambulance and sent her, sirens blaring, to Provo. I arrived just a few minutes later in the mini cooper.

August 15 – August 22, 2014

Lots of waiting, hoping, and praying. Let’s keep those babies “in” as long as possible. “Every day ‘in’ is worth 3 days ‘out’”.

So many people helped especially Grandparents Harrell and Grandparents Walker.

I got off work, drove home, ate dinner, and took Eliza to visit Momma for a week.

Abigail’s name was set from pretty much the beginning but we (and by that I mean your Annie) went through a few names before deciding on Kaitlin for sure - Olivia, Lily, Emily…

8/22/14 Friday

This morning Annie texted me. I was already at work. She said “I just want to warn you I might be having contractions. I’ve had a lot of pressure in my pelvis all night and this morning it turned to pain. I’m on the monitors and am hoping it’s just gas”. She called me at about 8:20 and said that the nurse said I should probably come to the hospital. I quickly told ChanciLoran, the principal at Copperview Elementary where I’m currently working as the vice principal, and headed out. I got to the hospital at about 9:00am.

In a few hours we realized that Annie would be delivering the babies within 24 hours if not sooner. She was continuing to have contractions and had spiked a fever. At 2:24 Abigail Jacklyn was born and at 2:27 Kaitlin Josephine was born – both by cesarean. Abigail weighed 1lb 15oz. Kaitlin weighed 2lbs 1oz. They were both 14 inches long. Being 26 weeks along they were immediately taken care of by the NICU team of doctors and nurses. They responded well. Dena participated in the cesarean by cutting the umbilical cord and passing them off to the NICU staff.

Day 1

I’m not sure which baby this is but they are using a zip lock bag for protection.

This is one of the teams working on the girls right after they were born.

This is Annie after the cesarean. They’re working on getting her “put back together”. Annie mentioned later that she was cracking up the staff by her funny comments while they were working.

Day 18/22/14 Friday

When I went into the small NICU room adjacent to the operating room I immediately felt tears come to my eyes as I saw how small these little girls were. I was so thankful for the teams working with my girls. I went back and forth reporting to Annie on the girls and letting her know they were doing well. Grandparents Walker and Harrell were here at the hospital while they were born. I came in and cried with my mom and dad out of concern for my girls and I guess sadness that they were born so early and knowing the challenges they would face.

Abigail Jacklyn

So small. So precious. So beautiful.

Kaitlin Josephine

This is in the actual Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU).

Day 18/22/14 Friday

Annie was brought back to her room within about an hour of surgery. She is tired but in good spirits. She’s anxious to see those baby girls!

I got a photo opp. with Kaitlin! She held tight onto my finger with her precious little hand. Dena took the picture. Thanks Dena!

Day 18/22/14 Friday

It took a long time for them to get the IV into Abigail’s umbilical cord. I got to change their diapers tonight! I put on gloves and the kind nurse told me and showed me what to do. Abigail had a little poop and Kaitlin was just wet.

Annie is touching Abigail through the opening in the isolette. We just want to hold them, love them, and let them know it’s all going to be alright.

Tonight I asked Lance to come and bring me some clothes. While here he visited with Annie and me then we went up to see the girls. The nurse said she noticed on our paperwork that we were LDS and said we could give them a blessing if we wanted. I didn’t have oil but they did. Lance anointed and I sealed. We blessed them to be strong. To grow and develop into faithful young women in the Gospel.

Day 18/22/14 Friday

8/23/14 Saturday

Heavenly Father, bless this place. Bless

these amazing people working with my little

girls. Send angels to walk and reside within

the rooms and halls of this hospital. Bless

the beds where my girls lay. Bless my

babies. Infuse their bodies with healing,

growth, and courage. Bless this building with

your Spirit. Please bless this place.

Mom and Dad with Abigail.

Day 2

Abigail is wearing a “cape”. This keeps her from grabbing her tubes going into her mouth. She’s just like Eliza! Lizzy loves to walk around with a blanket or towel draped over her shoulders. We took this picture at 12:03am. Annie needed to come up and see the girls before she could fall asleep.

8/24/14 SundayDay 3

It has been a very teary last 24 hours. They told us they needed to do a chest tube on Kaitlin due to air escaping from her lungs and getting trapped between her lung and rib cage. When it fills up it makes it so that her lungs can fill up properly/completely. When Annie and I went back up after they did the procedure they said she was doing much better. I immediately had tears come to my eyes in relief and gratitude for the positive news. We know this will be a roller coaster ride and hope and pray for the best for our girls. I choked up later when asking the nurse how we can help our babies. She said the best thing we can do is be there for them to hear us and smell us during “cares”. Otherwise they want us to let them get as much rest/sleep as possible because that’s when they produce the growth hormone and therefore grow.

What can we do to help our babies?• Come during “cares” and help out. Let them hear our voices

and smell us. • Speak softly to mimic softer sounds they would hear in the

womb.• Use a gentle, firm, and stationary touch. Rubbing isn’t good

right now because it’s too stimulating for their immature nervous system.

• Let them sleep a lot so only come during cares so we don’t wake them more than necessary.

• Pray, pray, pray for those girls!• Stay away if we’re sick. Don’t let anyone else come who is

sick or possibly sick.• Keep momma healthy. Make sure she recovers from recent

major surgery.• Love those babies and be grateful every day!

Day 38/24/14 Sunday

Abigail

• Pretty stable

• Smallest diaper size

• Likes her hand near her face

• Is already being fed mother’s milk

• Getting light therapy for jaundice

• Moved to a more traditional

ventilator and receiving normal air

oxygen mix. Doing much of the

breathing on her own.

• Concern that her blood sugar was

going up but it started going down

again.

Day 38/24/14 Sunday

Kaitlin

• Having a little bit of a rougher go

of things

• Got a chest tube to release air

escaping from her lungs into her

chest cavity.

• Got a catheter to help her pee –

most likely not peeing as well

due to the pain medications they

gave her to ease the discomfort

of the chest tube.

• Retaining water. She looks plump and healthy but it’s

not real weight gain. She’ll lose the water and drop

weight once her system starts getting rid of the water.

• On insulin for high blood sugar levels

• Very still and quiet due to sedation

• Given heart medication for a while to cause her heart to

beat more effectively

• Using a diaper that is a size up from Abigail’s

Day 38/24/14 Sunday

Kaitlin

Abigail

So, do they look alike? Yes, no, maybe… Honestly it’s really hard to tell because their mouths are so covered and we can’t put them right beside each other. They are certainly beautiful and precious though!

8/24/14 Sunday Day 3

Dena took our picture with Kaitlin. Annie was doing her cares. I’m starting to worry that I might be getting sick. Is the scratchiness in my throat just from “hospital air”, stress, or am I really getting sick? Because of that I opted to not work directly with the girls.

Day 38/24/14 Sunday

Eliza is here (along with Cory, Josh, Lance and Dena) but we don’t have her immunization record to show the hospital so she can’t come in to see them yet. We’re also a little concerned that all the “equipment” might scare her a little. We have been showing pictures though and she speaks to the picture and says “baby” and “it’s alright” and wants to hug the phone with the picture on it. Cory and Josh stayed with her in the waiting room while we all went in to do their cares. They do so well with her and Eliza loves it too!

We love to hear from the nurses that everything has been very “uneventful” when we go up to visit our girls. In other words we want to hear that they’re sleeping, growing, and not having complications.

I’m already feeling conscientious of spending more time with one of the girls than the other. So far we mostly just watch them sleep and speak loving soft words to them. But then I find myself looking over to the other isolette and thinking “I wonder what’s happening with Kaitlin or Abigail”. Its such a blessing to have two more girls to watch over!

Day 38/24/14 Sunday

Abigail under the lights. She’s doing great and it’s pretty normal/common to get some jaundice. The lights help to get rid of it. They gave her some cool eye covers for protection as well.

This is Kaitlin’s isolette. They do the best they can to mimic the womb. It’s also called a giraffe because when they pop the hood it goes way up and looks like a giraffe’s neck.

Day 38/24/14 Sunday

8/25/14 Monday

So I woke up with an even more sore throat. I’ve definitely got a cold of some sort. Darn it! I want to go up and see my girls every day if possible. I talked to the doctor and he said it was best to stay away for a few days so I don’t risk getting others sick who are helping the girls. I want to do everything possible to keep Abigail and Kaitlin healthy and strong. I’m thinking I’ll go home to limit my contact with Annie and to be able to rest better and get over this thing more quickly. There’s an Occupational Therapy class tonight to talk about baby development. I’m planning on coming back for that.

Abigail came off the ventilator today! Here she is on her tummy – and she loves it! She still has a feeding tube going through her mouth into her stomach. She is being assisted to breath through her nose too.

Day 4

Kaitlin started light therapy today. They’re hoping to take the chest tube out soon but she still has a small whole in one of her lungs.

Abigail is sticking her tongue out at her momma. I think she’s enjoying not having so many tubes down her throat.

Day 48/25/14 Monday

I’m at home getting some rest and preparing for Annie and Eliza to come back home which means I’m doing a bunch of laundry. Annie called me tonight with some really exciting news. She got to pick up Abigail! She actually got to hold her above her bed for just a few seconds so they could get her weight. Annie was thrilled and I am too. She talked about how special those girls are and he amazing spirit she feels when she’s with them. She cried when she got to lift up her baby and Justina, Abigail’s nurse tonight, gave her a hug. A special moment tonight!

Annie didn’t get to hold Kaitlin because she still has the chest tube in. The report is that the hole in her lung is getting smaller and smaller and she should be able to get the tube out soon.

Special

Moments

Day 48/25/14 Monday

8/26/14 Tuesday

Today Annie was able to come home from the hospital. It was really tough leaving our babies there and knowing that we can’t just go up any moment and be with them. It’s also sweet knowing that we can be with Eliza. We’ve missed her and love her so much. She’s been through a lot too. She has grown up a little. She seems to be using more complete sentences and seems to just be more mature. We love that beautiful girl!

Abigail is back on her tummy! She’s holding steady. She had a few moments when her heart rate dropped but it came right back without any need for additional stimulation.

Day 5

The girls are 27 gestational weeks old

today!

They told us it would be a roller coaster ride and Kaitlin is proving them right. Today we learned that she has a small hole in one of the valves in her heart. This isn’t that abnormal for a preemie but her hole is in the matrial valve which isn’t that normal. Still, we’re hoping that it will heal up on it’s own just like a leak might in another valve. She’s still leaking air from one of her lungs. This is getting better but they hoped it would’ve healed by now. I don’t know what the ramification is if it doesn’t heal we’ll just keep hoping and praying that it does heal on it’s own.

Kaitlin got a new blanket today~ It looks great and so does Kaitlin.

We called the NICU tonight before going to bed to get the latest update on the girls. All things are holding steady. This is what we always hope to hear. We’re hoping that tomorrow Annie can go see them during the day and that she and I can return to see them later in the evening.

Day 58/26/14 Tuesday

This is the breast pump that the hospital is renting to us. It looks like something you would find in a machine shop and it’s real heavy too. You can actually see the parts moving inside as it operates. It whirls and hisses as it pumps. It doesn’t seem incredibly modern but it’s pretty darn cool!

These are all the doctors working with our girls. We love them –especially the nurses who are listed who show so much constant love for Abby and Katy.

Day 5

8/27/14 Wednesday

I went back to work today. On the drive in I made a call to the NICU to check on the girls. All was stable and good. It was hard to go back to work and get back in the swing of things while also thinking and worrying about my girls. At the same time it was good to have something else to focus on for a time. Lisa Christiansen and Lithia Heumann gave me a gift of clothes for the new babies and 2 baby dolls forEliza. It was really thoughtful of them! I also talked a lot with Lisa. About 30 years ago she had preemie twins as well. Hers were born at 28 weeks and back then things looked really grim (they’re now grown and mothers themselves). While we’re definitely not out of the woods with our girls I’m very thankful they came in a day and age when they can do so much to help them survive and thrive.

Katy - Pretty in Pink!

Day 6

Abby Opened Her Eyes

Today!

If you look really close you can see her peaking out with her left eye. Annie was there and was so thrilled!

Day 68/27/14 Wednesday

They warned us about not comparing the girls. They’re individuals and will have their own strengths and challenges. We’re pushing forward with that perspective and thankful for every little victory.

Grandma Harrell stayed with Annie and Eliza today. This morning Eliza got to go play with Aunt Dena while Annie and Grandma went to see the twins. We’re so thankful for generous family members who are helping us out!

Today they gave both the girls glycerin to help their bowels to work better. It took Annie 10 minutes to change Kaitlin’s diaper because she just kept pooping!

Katy is sleeping away. Look, she’s got her right arm half way down her body. The nurses have been working with her to move her limbs more since she’s been on pain meds she has been so much more still.

Day 6

Abby is all taped up. The tape keeps the oxygen tubes on her nose where it needs to be. Today Annie heard Abby cry and sneeze. Tomorrow Annie can hold her on her chest for 30 minutes!

The small things really are the big things.

Day 68/27/14 Wednesday

Day 78/28/14 Thursday

These are the moments…

Annie got to hold Abigail next to her chest for an entire hour today! Now that she is using a cannula and not the ventilator she is more mobile. Such an awesome special thing!

Hang in there baby girl.

Momma’s got ya!

Day 78/28/14 Thursday

Momma and Kaitlin. She’s doing well even though she is dealing with a persistent hole in her left lung.

Lizzy came along today too. She didn’t get to see the girls yet. She stayed outside and played with Grandma Harrell most of the time. Look at the scarf. That girl loves herself a nice scarf!

Day 78/28/14 Thursday

Abby is sporting a new cannula. It’s smaller and allows her to basically do all the breathing on her own. Amazing!

Katy Jo is resting calm and steady. Her diaper looks really big and she’s looking pretty puffy. Sweet girl!

Day 88/29/14 Friday

One Week Old Today!

There’s a park south of the hospital. Eliza and I went and played there tonight while Annie visited the girls.

Lizzy says hi to every kid she meets. Often the other kids don’t know how to react so they just don’t say anything.

She LOVES parks and playground equipment. She climbed up this so many times and went down the slide on the other side.

Day 88/29/14 Friday

Lizzy going down the slide.

Lizzy sits down in the elevator. It might be because she feels it moving and wants to feel more stable. I’m not sure.

Day 88/29/14 Friday

Dr. Contreras came and talked to me tonight while Eliza and I were waiting in the NICU waiting room. Abby is doing well but Katy is struggling a bit. She has now developed a leak in her lung on the right upper lobe. And they’ve determined that she needs a blood infusion. It was a heavy conversation. They always ask me if I have questions. The biggest question that I’m afraid to ask and think they don’t have an answer is “Is she going to make it? Are we going to take both our babies home some day?”

Heavy

Conversations

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

Eliza’s First

Visit

Lizzy got to see the babies today. We were a little worried that their size and all the wires and tubes would scare her but not at all. She wanted to look, touch, and love those girls. She was our typical loving and compassionate baby girl.

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

Eliza is visiting Kaitlin. She got to see and touch both of the girls. I’ve got a mask on because I’m still feeling a cold.

More heavy conversations today. Dr. Gerday invited us to his office to meet. He talked first about Abby because it was simplest and she’s doing pretty good. The majority of the time was spent talking about Katy. Her x-rays show that she may have emphysema. They’re going to give her muscle relaxers to completely immobilize her so that she isn’t even breathing on her own.

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

Once she is completely still they’re hoping that her lungs will be able to knit together and heal. This entire process will make her retain even more water. She already looks very bloated. They said that while this is visually shocking that it’s not a concern and she will lose the liquid with time and movement.

Needless to say it’s been a hard day. Both Annie and I have felt down. I feel cranky and testy – I just want to yell at someone but I’m not mad at anyone in particular. We’ve decided to have a fast tomorrow and we’ve invited our family, friends, and fellow ward members to participate. I called my parents and all my brothers and asked them to pray and fast along with us. Anne posted it on Facebook as well. I also sent an email to all the elders in my quorum and invited them to join in. I know it will make a difference!

This is the Facebook message that Annie sent out:

Dear Friends and Family, Tomorrow we will be doing a special fast for our Baby Girl B, Kaitlin. She is struggling and is not responding to treatments that the NICU doctors are giving her. Both of her lungs are leaking and are not healing so she has a chest tube on each side. There are a handful of other concerns as well. Her body just needs a break to start healing and responding. We would love for you to participate in our fast, with your prayers, thoughts or meditations. Thank you for all of your love and prayers so far. (Baby Girl A, Abigail, is doing GREAT so far, so we're fasting for her sister, but feel free to keep her in your prayers too, she's still so little!) I've put an update with more details about Kaitlin's condition on the blog. www.becominganniewalker.blogspot.com

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

Prayer and Fasting

This is the email I sent out to the brethren of the elders quorum:

Hello men,

I'm not sure that you all know but our twin girls were born last Friday at 26 weeks. They're extremely small and fragile. We named them Abigail and Kaitlin. Abigail is doing well and responding as would be expected. Kaitlin, on the other hand, is struggling. She developed a hole in her left lung early on that hasn't healed and has now developed a hole in the right lung. She has a leaky heart valve and has needed a blood transfusion as well. We're all concerned that she's not responding really well to treatments. We're having a special family fast tomorrow for our little Kaitlin and I wanted to invite you all to fast and pray with us also. Please keep them both in your prayers. I know that miracles can and will happen as we combine our faith. Thanks brethren!

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

A Special Request

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

Eliza playing in the downstairs waiting area. She is fun and joyful. She loves to play and run, run, run!

Yep, that’s Eliza playing with a boy she just met. The parents came to the hospital with their twins to have a minor procedure done – that they did right there in the foyer. Fortunately this boy was more than happy to say “hi” back and play with Eliza.

After a real difficult day we went back to the NICU this evening. We saw our babies again and visited with Linda (one of our favorite nurses in the NICU). She showed us the most recent x-rays of Kaitlin that show that the muscle relaxant seems to be working and there is no excess air in her chest cavity at this time. We both felt much better and more comforted after tonight’s visit. In the waiting area I found myself apologizing for Eliza being “stocker friendly”. There was another girl, probably about 5 years old there with her dad and older brother (from Saratoga Springs too by the way). Eliza was so happy to meet a new “kid” that she went over, waved, sat next to her, and just kept trying to play and interact. The girl would move away and Eliza would even follow her. It was very cute but probably just a little intimidating for the girl. I love to see how open and outgoing Eliza is!

Linda told us tonight that she had our girls’ names put on the Logan Temple prayer rolls. She chose Logan because they leave the names on for 3 weeks. How thoughtful, generous, and kind!

Day 98/30/14 Saturday

Running, squealing and playing with a

new friend earlier today at the

hospital.

Day 108/31/14 Sunday

Back at the hospital this morning. Abigail is off the ventilator again. She is just using a small cannula. She has a small bow in her hair – I bet it was Linda who put it there too.

Kaitlin has been on muscle relaxants for about 24 hours now. The hole in her right lung seems to have closed! That’s way awesome. The hole on the left side however is still leaking. They’ll give it more time but the next step is to collapse the left lung for around 72 hours and see if that will allow it to heal. We feel the blessings of others fasting and praying for our little girl. We see the positive results and feel a greater amount of hope and peace.