jill wester medical condition editing sample
TRANSCRIPT
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These intros will need to be edited base done which edits are made (pages 1-6).
Cjange "may" to "might"
Insert "can" before "cause"
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Change "everyone feels" to "people feel"
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Remove "a"
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situations
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Change "But" to "However,"
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Change "in" to "during"
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Change "they may" to "he or she might"
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Change "18" to "Eighteen"
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Remove comma
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Insert "who have anxiety disorders" after "people"
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Insert "that" after "is"
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Change "carries" to "has"
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Insert ", very specific" after "own"
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Change "they are" to "that person is"
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Remove comma
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Delete "then"
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Change "will work to" to "can"
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Change beginning of sentence to read: The brain very quickly
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Remove "body is informed and"
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Insert "people with" after "In"
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Change "this feeling is" to "fear and anxiety are"
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Insert "and treated" after "diagnosed"
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Change everything after "disorders" to: ; however, they can be used to rule out any physical illnesses that might be contributing to the anxiety.
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Insert "anxiety" before "disorder"
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Change "deal with" to "suffer from"
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Change "GAD" to "Generalized Anxiety Disorder"
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need
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Insert "someone with" after "diagnose"
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Change period to a colon like this:
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I think this bulleted phrase is missing some words. The presence of stress that cannot be attributed to another illness?
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Insert "is" after "one"
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Change "their" to "his or her"
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Replace comma with "and"
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I think this needs a time frame - each year?
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Remove comma
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Change this entire sentence to read: A person who has social anxiety disorder has a fear of social situations, particularly of being judged by others.
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Insert "experiencing feelings of anxiety when" after "include"
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Insert "disorder" after "anxiety"
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Replace everything after "recognize" with "their fear and anxiety but cannot overcome it."
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Change "for" to "in"
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Change "for" to "out of"
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Insert "that" before "they"
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activities
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Remove "that is"
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Insert "that" after "crippling"
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Disorders
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Insert "which is" before "an"
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Remove comma
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difficulty
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Change "may" to "might"
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Change everything after "with" to "diagnosing the panic attack"
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Change "Panic" to "The panic"
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Change "they" to "these situations"
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Move "than men" after "likely"
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Is this one in three people with panic disorders? If yes, add "with panic disorders" after "people"
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Delete space between quote mark and "g"
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Change "like" to ", such as"
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Remove comma
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Change "may" to "can"
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Change "it is" to "it's"
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Change "post-traumatic stress disorder" to "PTSD"
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Remove hyphen to read: reexperience
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Remove comma
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Remove comma
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Remove comma
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Change "3" to "three"
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Change entire sentence to read: A traumatic event must have occurred for a person to develop PTSD.
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Remove "self-report"
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Change "3" to "three"
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Change "around" to "about"
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Change "more" to "longer"
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Change "They are then" to "Once the traumatic event has been identified, the person"
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Change "These are evaluated" to "The evaluation consists of"
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Remove "through"
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Remove "through"
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Remove comma
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Insert "methods" after "Both"
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Remove this bullet. This has already been done before the evaluation, and it's not listed as one of the four criteria above.
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Change "by" to "as"
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Change "and" to "or"
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Insert "PTSD" after "Acute"
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Insert "PTSD" after "chronic"
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Insert "PTSD" after "delayed onset"
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Insert "since the traumatic event" after "passed"
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Insert hyphen to read: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
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Remove period and place OCD in parens: (OCD)
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Change "may" to "might"
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Insert "with OCD" after "person"
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Remove comma
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Change "must" to "feel compelled to"
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Change "their" to "his or her"
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Change "functions" to "activities"
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Insert "an" before "OCD" Insert "behavior" after OCD"
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Insert "(Y-BOCS)" after "Scale"
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Insert "that" before "these"
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Insert "that" before "they"
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Remove "then"
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Change "may" to "might"
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Change to bold: Obsessions must:
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Change to bold: Compulsions must:
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Remove colon after reason
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Change "for instance" to ", such as"
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Change "is" to "feels"
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Remove "of"
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Change "they" to "acting on the compulsion"
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Remove colon after "distress" and begin rest of sentence with (e.g., an unreasonable
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Insert closing paren to read: clean)
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Change "activity" to "activities"
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Change "they" to "he or she"
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performs Only change to performs if "they" is changed to "he or she"
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Change "rid" to "be free of"
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Change "The" to "These"
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Change "they" to "this person"
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Remove "a"
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Remove comma
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Change heading to Sulfonylureas (The “ph” spelling is British. Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/sulphonylureas) Also: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/19828.htm
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Change "Sulphonylureas" to "Sulfonylureas"
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Change "may" to "might"
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Remove comma
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Change "Sulphonylureas" to "Sulfonylureas"
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Change "sulphonylureas" to "sulfonylureas"
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Change "sulphonylureas" to "sulfonylureas"
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"Combination of medicine and dosage" doesn’t quite make sense. Should it be "Combination of medicine and lifestyle changes"? OR "which medicine(s) at which dosage"?
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Change "detrimental" to "possible side"
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Change "which" to "that" If edit is not taken, insert a comma before "which" (Which should always be preceded by a comma)
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Insert "possible" after "another"
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Change "seen with" to "of"
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Change "agents" to "medicines"
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Remove "agents like"
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glimepiride
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Change "sulphonylureas" to "sulfonylureas"
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Change "sulphonylureas" to "sulfonylureas"
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Change ", making the body’s cells do a better job of absorbing the blood glucose available" to ", helping the body’s cells more effectively absorb available glucose"
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metformin
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Delete "Some" and initial cap "side"
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Change sentence to read: These are all initial, temporary symptoms that should decrease as the body adjusts to the new medication.
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Remove comma
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I could not find this word anywhere. I think it was one of the incorrect answers on the quiz on diabetes that I proofread a few weeks ago.
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Remove comma
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quick-acting
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Remove "a"
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schedules
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Change "like" to "such as"
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Replace "has also proved" with "is"
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Replace "in that" with "as"
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Replace comma with a period Delete "and" Change "it" to "It also"
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lipid
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Change "agents" to "drugs"
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Change everything after "medicines" to "allow muscle and fat cells to work with insulin more effectively."
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Add "glucose" after "blood"
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Remove comma
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Remove comma
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Remove comma
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Remove "have a history of"
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runs
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Change "may" to "could"
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Insert "for developing diabetes" after "risk"
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Change "a screening" to "screenings"
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multi-pronged
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Change "with" to "that includes"
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Remove comma
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Change "may be able to" to "can most likely"
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Change everything after "treatments" to read "associated with diabetes."
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Change "to" to "for" (after "solutions")
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Change "which" to "that" If edit is not taken, put a comma before "which"
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Remove "injections"
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Change "have" to "had"
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Change "may" to "can"
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Change "and" to "that"
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Change "But it" to "However, your body"
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Insert a comma after "glucose"
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Remove "then"
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Change "of" to "for"
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Remove comma after "which"
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Remove comma
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Remove "even a"
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Change "the symptoms" to "symptoms of possible foot problems"
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Initial cap "its"
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Remove comma
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Add "in the legs and/or feet"?
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Remove comma
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Change "their" to "his or her"
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Remove comma after "infected" Delete "and" Initial cap "if"
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Change "your" to "the"
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Change "may" to "can"
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Insert comma after "occur"
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infection
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Change "it is" to "it's"
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Remove "a"
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Change "by" to "from"
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Insert "is a toenail that" after "toenail"
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Please confirm that there is not an extra space before the "T" in "They"
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Change "by" to "from"
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Remove comma
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Remove "may"
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Change "by" to "from"
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toward
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Change "ones" to "toes"
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Insert "big" before "toe"
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Remove comma
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Change "may" to "might"
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Is "infected" true? I thought it a bunion was just a bump. How could it become infected with no skin breakage? Should it be "red and swollen" or "red, swollen and misshapen"? I'm not sure that what is written here gives an accurate description of what bunions look like.
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Remove "applying"
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Insert "wearing" before "orthotics"
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Remove commas before and after "or"
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Treatment
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Make colon bold
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Remove comma
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Remove "actually" Add "open" after "crack"
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Remove "Germs and" Initial cap "Bacteria" (Germs and bacteria are the same thing"
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Remove "an"
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Change "sometimes can" to "can sometimes"
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Place a period after "rare" Remove "and" Initial cap "there"
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Change sentence to read: If you are experiencing any of the symptoms or conditions mentioned above, consult your doctor.
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Change "may" to "might"
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Insert "or her" after "him"
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Change "you have" to "you've"
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Change "may" to "might"
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Remove comma
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legs
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Change "and" to ", muscle"
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Should "flexes" be "reflexes" or "flexibility"?
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Remove comma
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Change "He" to "The doctor"
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Remove comma
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Change "injury" to "injuries"
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Change "implies" to "indicates"
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Insert "the" before "nerve"
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Change "points" to "places"
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Place a comma after "diabetes" Change "it is" to "it's"
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Remove "But" Initial cap "to"
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Change "your" to "a healthy"
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Remove comma
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Remove comma
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Remove "any"
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infection
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Change comma to a semicolon like this;
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Change comma to a semicolon like this;
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Change "while" to "when"
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Remove "occasionally"
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Move "gently" before "shaking"
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Change comma to a semicolon like this;
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Remove "lotion" Place a comma after "antiseptic" If "lotion" is not removed, place comma after "lotion" instead of after "antiseptic"
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Change "of" to "in"
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Change "not obvious" to "unknown"
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Change "forty" to "40"
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Make sure there is not a space before or after the comma
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Make sure there is not a space after the period
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Insert "being able to" after "point of"
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Remove comma
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Change "providing" to "take in"
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Remove comma
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Change "removing" to "remove"
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Remove "the"
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Change "baby" to "embryo"
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Insert "of" after "all"
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Change "baby's" to "embryo's"
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Change "- or the cells in the embryo -" to "(i.e., the cells in the embryo)"
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Remove "of the embryo"
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Insert "the" before "ectoderm"
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Change "gives rise to" to "is where"
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Insert "develop" after "systems"
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Remove "of the embryo"
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Remove "of the embryo"
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Remove comma
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Remove "the"
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Remove comma
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Remove "the"
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Remove comma
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Remove "even"
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Change "the" to "its"
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Remove comma
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Insert "also" after "embryo"
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Change "baby" to "embryo"
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Remove "the"
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10th
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Remove space after period
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Change "may be" to "are"
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Replace everything after "exam" with ", including measurements of height, weight and blood pressure."
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Remove ", etc. - and then perform" Initial cap "external"
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Insert "will be done" after "examination"
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Remove comma
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infection
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Remove comma
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Remove comma
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Insert "any" after "about"
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Insert "also" after "will"
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Change "may" to "might"
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Remove comma
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infection
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Change ", and" to "as well as"
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Remove semicolon
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Change everything after "need" to "a blood transfusion."
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Insert "and your doctor" after "you"
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Change "and when you and your doctor will plan out" to "including"
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Remove comma
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Change "will lead to" to "means"
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Insert "would" after "you"
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Insert a comma after "Remember"
