january 19 kindersley
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(306) 463-6383 or e-mail:[email protected]
January 19, 2015
MAN’S OTHER BEST FRIENDS
People’s love for their pets reached a new high in December when a British man paid a veterinarian the equivalent of $500 to perform delicate surgery on a sick office goldfish (typical pet store “replacement” price: $1 to $5). Vet Faye Bethell of North Walsham, England, told the Eastern Daily Press in December that there was “nothing special” about the fish, but that the customer “just liked it a lot.” In fact, the goldfish likely did not even have a pet name -- as Bethell in an interview spoke intimately of another patient by name (Cadbury, the skunk). (Bethell’s procedure involved removing the patient from the bowl, flooding its gills with anesthetic-fortified water, and using a tiny scalpel to remove lumps that were causing it constipation, with the surgery guided by a miniature heart-rate monitor.)
IRAQI TV GOES “JERRY SPRINGER”
Iraq’s government-run channel, Iraqiyya TV, has a reality show reminiscent of American confrontational programs, but is designed to force captured ISIS fighters to acknowledge the pain they have cre-ated. One episode of “In the Grip of the Law” (described in a December Associated Press dispatch) showed fam-ily members of car-bombing victims on a street corner in Baghdad haranguing one of the men convicted of the crime. A young man in a wheelchair, having lost his father in the attack, faced off against the convict, screaming until the jihadist “began weep-ing, as the cameras rolled.” [Associated Press via New York Daily News, 12-22-2014]
Town Office Hours: 8:30 am - 4:30 pmMonday to FridayBox 1269 ~ 106-5th Ave E. Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0 (306) 463-2675 www.kindersley.ca
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I’VE LEARNED…..I’ve learned that my daddy can say a lot of words I can’t. - Jeff, age 8. I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, my Mom makes me clean it up. - Cassandra, age 13. I’ve learned that you can be in love with four girls at the same time. - Brad, age 9. I’ve learned that you can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Steven, age 7. I’ve learned that if you laugh and drink soda pop at the same time, it will come out your nose. - Freddy, age 7.
Research shows that CAFFEINE, from coffee and tea, is a powerful
antioxidant.
Cody Anderson, Dylan Anderson, Karmyn Belitski, Mackenzie Chernoff, Rhett Dimitroff, Rowyn Dimitroff, Jayla Ekencrantz, Beau
Jeffries, Leo Jewitt, Cole Kandraczynski, Braecyn Krentz, Hailey Lothammer, Cole Parfitt, Ava Pennington, Oliver Perkind, Geneva Strutt, Sydni Ternes, Emma Torrens, Noah Wurz, JR Andreas, Rhett
Boisjoli, Abby Brewer, Rhys Busby, Ashton Carberry, Ava Feader, Cherish Rae Fournier, Ricky Fuhr, Taryn Green, Brooklyn Hagan, Leah Julseth, Kenneth Kleinsasser, Hunter Lothammer, Rhiannon
Lynch, Emma Nagel, Chloe Peterson, Adam Ranger, Maggie Rudolph, Hunter Smith, Hayden Swan, AidanTorry, Sophia White,
Serenity Wollstencroft
Co-op Kid’s Club Birthdays of the Week
JANUARYSALE
ContinuesENDS JANUARY 31
My son, age 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ‘cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”
TRUCK AND CAR ACCESSORIES AND PERFORMANCE PARTS
IF YOU…. IF YOU have hair growing out of your armpit, you’ve got hirci. That is the fancy word for armpit hair.
IF YOU sneeze your most powerful sneeze, it’ll come flying out of your face at a little more than 100 mph.
IF YOU weigh 120 lbs on Earth, you’d weigh about 20 lbs on the moon.
IF YOU are brushing your hair, its best to stop after about the 25th stroke, because that is the right number for the best distribution of your hair’s natural oils.
IF YOU are stuck in the grip of a crocodile’s jaw, jam your thumbs in its eyeballs.
IF YOU can’t stop the hiccups, try swallowing sugar dry; some say take a teaspoon others a tablespoon, white or brown sugar.
IF YOU are stuck in a snowstorm tie a bright cloth to your antennae, stay with your car and run the motor every ten minutes for heat.
If YOU ARE suffering insomnia drink warm milk or hotwater before you go to bed.
Community Calendar
CHEER & TUMBLE - Affordable Gymnastics Classes, ages 2-18, next session starts in April, now accepting applications! - Competitive Cheer Team, ages 5-14 - Birthday Parties Available!Check us out on Facebook Kerrobert Cheer & Tumble. Or Call Tajia @ 306-834-4364GROOVYDOS ART STUDIO, Kerrobert 306-834-4300For more info visit: www.groovydos.ca or www.pinterest.com/elaineunruhPAINT-YOUR-OWN-POTTERY Mon- Fri: 1-6pm / Thurs: 4-9pmFun for all ages! Big selection for Adults, Teens, Kids & even Dad!Private parties & Group Evening bookings also availableADULT ART CLASSES W/ INSTRUCTION $48 for 5 classes – Thurs 6-9pmIncludes Paint, Brushes, Patterns, Instruction, Glaze & firing (if doing ceramics)Pottery, Canvas & Wood projects available forpurchase or bring your own project.
Birth Matters Heartland offers:Birth Matters Heart-land, Birth Group Third Friday of every month. No-vember’s topic is Belly Binding for pre and postnatal. Find us on Facebook for details.PRAIRIE CROCUS QUILT GUILD meet 2nd Tues.of each month.iKids Club is every Thursday night at 6pm-8PM We follow the school calendar, so if there is a break at school, there is a break at iKids! iKids is $5 per child, there is a special rate for families! We also do birthday parties! Contact Becky for more info! Follow the fun at www.ikidsclub.ca and on facebook at iKids Club or email Becky [email protected] WITH PATHWAY TO WELLNESS Monday & Thursday - 9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. Walking Track at the West Central Events Center(indoor shoes required) (wheelchair accessible/elevator)MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT GROUP meeting every Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. at the Provincial Building 113 2nd Ave East Board Room. For people whose lives are affected by mental health issues. Everyone Welcome. For more information call Barb 306-463-4754.KCS BAND FRUIT SALE Oranges and Grapefruits. To order call:463-3771 (days) Or Dawn 463-3456 (evenings) Nicole 463-3515 (evenings) Deadline for orders: January 20thKINDERSLEY FRIDAY NIGHT DANCE – Feb. 6thElk’s Hall 8:00 – 11:30 pm.Music by “Leon Ochs”. Everyone Welcome. Lunch served.MANTARIO LIONS 12TH ANNUAL WINTER FESTI-VAL. “Le’t go to the snow”. Eyre Park Hall. Sat. Feb 7. Starting 12 Noon. Call Kevin for entries or more info 306-967-2643 or 306-460-7326. Deadline Feb. 6.
The Great Calendar Of Events
KINDERSLEY TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Chap-ter #1136:Anybody interested in joining or checking out the group are welcome to attend meetings any Monday at 7:00p.m., Kindersley Senior Centre, 115 3rd Ave. E.A.A. - Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall. Tues 8PM Brock The Vesper Club, Tues. 8PM Leader United Church. Wed. 8PM Eston United Church, Thurs. 8PM Kindersley New Life Church, Fri. 8PM Kindersley Lutheran Church.AL-ANON Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall Call 306-463-6654 or 965-2659.THE OIL WIVES CLUB OF KINDERSLEY, LADIES, If your spouse or significant other, works in the oil patch, you are invited to join the Oil Wives Club of Kinders-ley in a once a month, fun night of “Fostering Friend-ship.” contact Mary Ann at 306-463-6164 or 306-463-9352.KINDER KOLLEGE, the newest child care Centre, is looking to hire a full time person who enjoys interacting with children on a daily basis. Contact Jodi @ 306-463-5435. Cook position availableJanuary 1, 2015.KDAC PRESENTS “Winter Bites the Blues” Double concert featuring Megan Nash from Moose Jaw and Blackberry Wine for Eatonia on Sat. Jan. 24 at the Norman Ritchie Centre. Doors open at 6:30Pm. Tick-ets $45 each and available at Labelle Boutique, Lela’s Music or Garden Gallery.PARKINSON’S SUPPORT GROUP is held the 2nd Wednesday of every month at 2 p.m. in the Fischer Lounge of the Kindersley Hospital. For more information contact Nancy @ 306-463-4514.THE GLIDDEN REC BOARD IS HAVING A FUNDRAISER ~ DINE WITH BLACKBERRY WINEFebruary 14, Doors open 5:30 Fully served 5 course dinner. Advanced tickets only, 463-3576.
Hi Neighbours:Our community is changing. This isn’t unusual. Every community changes with time; that’s what time does. The big change in our community, which has been happening since the 1980s or so, is the impact of consum-erism and the rising cost of living. We live in a socio-economic environment that requires most families to have double incomes. By the time residents work all day, taxi kids to their activities, do errands and spend time with family, additional time for building community is sparse. After all, we only have so much energy and time.We can see the results in volunteer fatigue and declining citizen engagement. I don’t know of an organization in Kindersley that is not looking for volunteers, or leaders of different groups who are also asking for help with their workload or to take a break from their responsibilities. Without the contributions of volunteers, the day may come when a lot of what makes Kindersley rich and dynamic fades away. This is happening with Town committees.Back in December, the Town advertised for people to enrich Kindersley by participating in 6 committees: Library, Regional Park, Cemetery, Communities in Bloom, Arts and Culture Committee, and the Development Appeal Board. All of these committees contribute to the richness and vibrancy of Kindersley. It’s not about the specific committee, it’s about community. There were about 25 positions available and we received 4 applications. This is not enough. The Development Appeals Board, as an example, is a legal board required by the province enabling people who want variances in their building project to be accepted. This is a result of the Town saying no. Sometimes the Town supports appeals (the Town may have to say no for legal reasons but supports the variance for other reasons) and sometimes the Town is against the appeal. Nonetheless, this mechanism is needed to ensure healthy growth in Kindersley. We need your help and your neighbours need your help.The Town is but one organization in Kindersley needing help. Sports groups like Kindersley Minor Sports, arts groups such as Kindersley District Arts Council, civic groups like Citizens on Patrol, and non-government agencies like SPOKES need help. If you want to make a difference, be a part of something larger. If you want to leave a legacy, please consider helping out any of the organizations in Kindersley that enhances our (and your) quality of life. Please write or phone if you would like me to discuss a particular topic. If you have any questions or com-ments, drop me a line at the town office or email me at [email protected]. You can also check out my blog at http://mayorjohn.blogspot.ca/. I appreciate your feedback.
THOUGHTS ON EXERCISE
You know you’ve reached your fitness goal when you’re strong enough to pick up your exercise equipment and throw it out the window.
The only exercise device I ever use is my Clapper.
I use a bicycle now for short errands. Instead of putting the pedal to the metal, I straddle the saddle.
If God had wanted us to run, instead of a belly button, He’d have given us a Fast-Forward button.
Most people are out of shape because the only thing they ever exercise is their rights.
I don’t think jogging is helping me to get in shape. Last night I was huffing and puffing so hard when I got to the Dairy Queen, I could hardly eat my Blizzard.
I don’t work out because all the exercise programs start out by saying, “Wear loose-fitting clothes.” I don’t have any loose-fitting clothes!
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the
new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large,
intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. “Boy, would I hate to be
hooked up to that thing,” she said. “So would I,” replied the technician.
“It’s a floor-cleaning machine.”-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The minister called on a seldom-seen parishioner, asking if she was in good health, and generally enquiring why she rarely attended services. “Oh,” she said, “it’s difficult to get out of the
house these days, but, reverend, I still keep up my bible study and prayers, don’t I darling?” she said, turning to her five-year-old daughter - who looked rather blankly at her. “Darling,” she went
on, “Run and fetch mummy’s favorite book, there’s a good girl.” A few moments
later her daughter returned holding out a fashion magazine.
Works in below-freezing temperatures Maintains a water line 24/7 throughout the winter Tested to -42 C Drinking water safe
Highway 7 East, Kindersley www.boychuksales.com
Ph 306-463-6511 * 1-877-433-3337
1. What wild animal is also called the Cape Hunting Dog?a) The Wild Dog of Africab) Brown Hyenac) St. Bernardd) Golden Jackal
2. What is the only marsupial in North America?a) Squirrelb) Opossumc) Raccoond) Black Rat
3. What is the largest breed of domesticated cats?a) Maine Coon b) Cymricc) Persian d) Norwegian Forest Cat
4. Which breed of dog was original-ly bred for hunting lions?a) Rhodesian Ridgebackb) Rottweilerc) Giant Schnauzerd) Pitbull
5. What can’t a Collie be trained to do (we are talking about the breed, not the one exception out of a hundred)?a) Seriously attack a humanb) Steal from a humanc) Beg from a humand) Jump on a human 6. On which island did the Manx cat come from?a) Palmyra Islandb) Christmas Islandc) Isle of Man d) Fiji Island
1. a, 2. b, 3. a, 4. a, 5. a, 6. c
w Molecularly speaking, water is actually much drier than sand. wHuman tonsils can bounce higher than a rubber ball of similar weight and size, but only for the first 30 minutes after they’vebeen removed.wRubbing Tabasco on one’s upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.wScientists estimate that sleep lost due to daylight saving time reduces the average lifespan by nearly two full months.w The top three names for female babies born in China last year were Huan Yue, Jia Li and -- unlikely as it seems -- Buffy.wThere have been four documented cases of humans who have hibernated through an entire winter.w Anyone convicted of animal cruelty in Sedalia, Missouri, is sentenced to a month’s confinement in the county animal shelter.
“One call does it all”306-463-6105
Your
dealer in Kindersley
See our beautiful Showroomfeaturing light fixtures, fireplaces, home decor, faucets, tools and much more!
Chemicalsand Supplies
in stock
You might be underqualified for a fast-food job if...
* Someone orders a pepperoni pizza and you charge them for two toppings: the pepperoni and the cheese.
* Someone asks for a drink refill and you tell them to get it themselves.
*When your customer asks for his change, you reply “Would you like fries with that?” every time.
*You eat more food than you sell.
* When someone asks your name you HAVE to check your name tag.
* Your body has more grease than the fryer does
* You can’t count to twenty with your shoes off.
Funny Letters to Government Agencies
1. Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in October
2. I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?
3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
4. I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?
5. I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.
6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man I am living with can’t do a thing until he knows.
8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.
9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.
RIDICULOUS RAMBLINGS…Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
Two wrongs do not make a right.... but three lefts do.
Endless love (def’n): Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
Two can live as cheaply as one ... for half as long.
Debate (def’n): What worms are to a fisherman.
Mischief (def’n): Sitting Bull’s daughter.
Liability (def’n): A talent for fibbing.
Alien (def’n): What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
Bathroom (def’n): A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
Handi-wipes (def’n): Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, tablecloths, etc.
Overstuffed recliner (def’n): Dad.
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The next regular meeting of Council is on Mon. January 26 at
6:00 pm Regular meetings are held every 2nd and 4th
Monday of the month, unless otherwise
scheduled
Council approved motions enabling the Town of Kindersley to apply for significant capital funding through the New Building Canada Fund. If successful, the Town of Kindersley will be required to fund one-third (municipal portion) of the total cost of each project. The following projects will be applied for: • Kindersley Water Main Replacement Upgrades (Total cost: $1,432,000) • Kindersley New Lagoon Project (Total cost: $10,318,000)Additionally, Council also supported an application by the Western Regional Landfill Inc. to seek funding for construction of a new regional landfill on the Town-owned Teo Lake land west of Kindersley.
Highlights from the January 12, 2015 Regular Meet-ing of Council:
Kindersley Indoor Rodeo representative Tyler Ritchie attended the Council meeting to share information about the upcoming Indoor Rodeo, May 28-30, 2015 at the West Central Events Centre, and to request Council’s support in hosting the annual event again and offering in-kind sponsor-ship.
Resident Tanner Cavanagh addressed Council to request a reduction or reversal of an invoice related to three incidents when Kindersley Fire Department members responded to false alarms at his residence.
Council authorized Western Regional Landfill Inc. to enter into a professional agreement with Stantec for the purposes of
conducting required engineering services for the designated future landfill site at Teo Lake.
Administration was directed to enter into a new three-year agreement with the Cana-dian Union of Public Employees (CUPE) Local 2740 to commence January 12, 2015 and conclude December 31, 2017. More than 50 percent of Town employees are represented by CUPE.
Council appointed the following individuals to local committees: Kindersley Local Library Board – Deb Perrin Kindersley Regional Park – Mark Miller, Dennis Schoeller
Administration was directed to enter into an agreement with CN Railway Corporation for the purchase of land along Railway Ave-nue at a cost of $60,000 for the purpose of constructing a new fire hall.
Gord Krismer and Associates was approved as a continuing member of the Board of Revision.
Council approved Bylaw 02-15 to establish the Kindersley Regional Airport Board and its Authority, and to provide for airport rules and regulations, fees and lease agree-ments. The bylaw amends the previous Bylaw 13-11.
To hear more of Council’s discussions during this and other Regular Meetings of Council, click the CouncilTV button at www.kindersley.ca.
For the full Council agenda and past minutes, visit www.kindersley.caWatch Council Meeting online at www.kindersley.ca/counciltv
@Town Kindersley
Town Office Hours: 8:30 am - 4:30 pm ~ Monday to FridayBox 1269 ~ 106-5th Ave E. Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0 (306) 463-2675 www.kindersley.ca
Highlights from the the January 9, 2015 Regular Meeting of Council:
Get Connected
www.kindersley.ca
Watch Council Meetings online every 2nd and 4th Monday.
with the Town of Kindersley
www.kindersley.ca/counciltvfor the latest in Council decisions, news and Town information.
The Town of Kindersley is pleased to offer you the option to receive your water bill electronically. This convenient and environmentally friendly service is part of our commitment to providing citizens with the best in customer service.
Water E-Billing Now Available
Sign up online at www.kindersley.ca/ebill
Kindersley Administration Office106 5th Avenue EastBox 1269, Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0
Hours of BusinessMonday to Friday
8:30 am to 4:30 pm
Loraas curbside waste and recycle cart collection has begun. Loraas representatives are offering a final Open House to answer remaining questions about the curbside cart
collection service for waste and recycling. All are welcome to attend.
Please visit www.kindersley.ca/garbage-and-recycling for a complete 2015 schedule and map of the collection zones.
For concerns and questions, contact Loraas at 306-463-2008.
LORAAS OPEN HOUSEWEDNESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2015
7:00 - 9:00 PMNORMAN RITCHIE COMMUNITY CENTRE
1023 1ST STREET WEST
Wednesday, January 21West Central Events Centre
6:00 - 7:00 pm
YOU MIGHT BE A CAT LOVER IF...
You cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat.
You sleep in the oddest positions, just so you can accommodate your cat, even if he/she chooses to plonk itself in the middle of your bed.
Sleeping with your cat and getting stray particles of kitty litter from your cat’s claws in your bed doesn’t bother you.
You take your cat’s name as your online name.
When you’re telling a friend about having to take the cat to the V-E-T, you whisper and your eyes dart furtively around the room to make sure your kitty isn’t within earshot.
People say “what a lovely Angora sweater!” and you say “What Sweater?”
The grocery consists of cat food, cat treats, cat toys, and mice.
You know all the ingredients in meow mix by heart.
You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When...
= Juan Valdez names his donkey after you. =You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.=You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
=You sleep with your eyes open. =You have to watch videos in fast-forward. =You lick your coffee pot clean.
=Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. =The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. =You can type sixty words a minute with your feet. =You can jump-start your car without cables.
=Your only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”. =You don’t sweat, you percolate.
=You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug. =You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. =You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table. =The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.