JAMI AND JAYEPISODE 2"THE PUG"

Written by

Jared Davis

&

Jamiyla Blair

916 South Ave Apt 4, Springfield, MO 65806

(417)536-8837

SCENE: INT. OFFICE WAITING ROOM — DAY

DANI, a woman in her late 30s or early 40s, sits at a desk, drinking a glass of iced tea. JAMI, dressed sharply in a blouse and skirt, walks up to her.

JAMII’m here for my job interview?

DANIBoss isn’t here right now, but you can wait for him inside.

JAMIThank you!

Jami walks into the office as Dani sips her tea again.

SCENE: INT. BOSS’ OFFICE — DAY

Jami enters, looking around at the rather plain office. There’s the desk with a chair in front of it and a chair behind it and a filing cabinet. The desk features a computer and some small toy dinosaurs. Jami sits down in front of the desk and waits. After 10 seconds, she begins fidgeting in boredom. In another 10 seconds, she picks up a toy Stegosaurus and a Tyranosaurus Rex from the desk. She begins re-enacting a scene from “Firefly” with them, voicing the Stegosaurus.

JAMI“This is a fertile land and we will thrive! We shall rule over all this land and we shall call it...”

Unknown to Jami, BOSS, a guy in a casual suit in his early 30s, has silently entered behind her.

JAMI (CONT’D)“...This Land!”

Boss, pleasantly amused, crosses his arms.

BOSS“I think we should call it Your Grave!”

Jami stops and turns around to look at him.

JAMIWell, I can see we’re going to get along! Browncoat?

BOSSIndeed. Welcome aboard.

EXT. BOOKSTORE — DAY

JAY, dressed in his work uniform, waits outside as Jami pulls up in her car, smiling from ear to ear.

JAYHow’d it go?

JAMII got the job!

JAYGreat!

JAMIYou were right, Jay! All I had to do was be myself!

Jay gets in the car.

INT. JAMI’S CAR — DAY

Jay buckles up as Jami drives away from the bookstore.

JAMII want to celebrate!

JAYCool! What are you going to do? Go bowling? Get a pizza? Ice cream?

She looks at him and smiles mischievously. He suddenly realizes what she means: she wants to get a PET. He suddenly looks afraid.

JAY (CONT’D)Oh no, not that!

(Opening titles.)

INT. JAMI’S CAR — DAY

Jami drives to the pet shop.

JAMIWhy are you so dead-set not to get a pet?

2.

JAYI already told you! It didn’t end well with the last pet I had. Poor Scott...

JAMI“Scott?” Well, at least we have a name. What was he?

JAYA cat.

JAMIWho names a cat “Scott?”

Jay huffs and sullenly raises his hand. Jami laughs.

JAMI (CONT’D)Whatever, it’s time to let in a new furry friend, I think.

Jay sighs deeply in resignation.

JAYFine.

INT. PET SHOP — DAY

Jami and Jay enter the pet shop. Jay looks around at all the animals. A bird in a nearby cage looks at him. He notices it and quickly looks to Jami.

JAYI want out of here. It can sense my fear and wants to rip my heart out and eat my flesh and drink my blood.

Jami rolls her eyes.

JAMIIt’s just a bird, Jay.

She drags him to the aquarium. A STOREKEEPER greets them.

STOREKEEPERHowdy. We just got some new pet sharks in if you want to take a look.

Jami looks at Jay and grins.

3.

JAYNo thank you. We are not getting a shark.

JAMIBut...

JAYI like having all of my fingers!

Jay looks and notices something. He pulls Jami to the glass cases where reptiles, lizards and the like are kept. He points at an empty cage.

JAY (CONT’D)How about that?

JAMIWhat?

JAYJust the perfect pet for you!

JAMIThere’s nothing in there but a rock!

JAYAnd pet rocks are awesome.

Jami folds her arms. She is not amused.

JAMIWhy do you hate me?

EXT. PET SHOP — DAY

Jami and Jay walk out of the pet shop and head to the nearby parking lot. There’s a small alley between the pet shop and another store.

JAYLook, it’s not the end of the world. Pets mean responsibility. And you've never been a fan of...

Jami has noticed something in the alley. She looks excited and please.

JAMIOh my god!

4.

EXT. PET SHOP ALLEY — DAY

Jami has spotted MR. SNUGGLEBEAR (MSB), a little pug dog without a collar. He’s dirty and looks a little worse for wear. Jami scoops him up.

JAMII must haz it!

JAYOh no, she’s talking lol-cat.

INT. PET SHOP — DAY

Jami holds MSB as the storekeeper explains. Jay looks as if he’d rather be anywhere else.

STOREKEEPEROh, you found that little fellow. Yeah, he showed up in the alley a few days ago. I left food out for him if he needed it, hoping he’d find his way home, but he stuck around.

Jami kisses the dog. Jay gags at this.

JAMIPoor baby probably doesn’t have a home to go to!

JAYHow on earth can there be a homeless pug?

STOREKEEPERCould have been abandoned.

Jami nuzzles MSB.

JAMIHow could anyone abandon such a sweet little baby?

JAYYou call that little wrinkled up thing “sweet?”

Jami looks at him in shock.

JAMIHow could you, of all people, pick on someone for how they were born?

5.

She continues to cuddle MSB like a baby.

JAMI (CONT’D)After all, no pet is perfect. It becomes perfect when you accept it for what it is.

JAYDid you just quote Night Vale?

JAMIIt was appropriate.

INT. JAMI AND JAY’S APARTMENT — EVENING

Jami and Jay enter with a now clean MSB. Jay gets himself comfortable on the couch. The apartment has been tidied up and redecorated since the previous episode: an expansive shelf of DVDs, Blu-Rays and CDs is present along with the TV, disc player, couch, two recliners wooden coffee table.

JAYI can’t believe he checked out fine at the vet’s.

Jami relaxes on the couch, cuddling MSB.

JAMISorry it took awhile.

JAYIt was okay. There was a magazine with a nice article about Neil Patrick Harris.

Jami chuckles as a knock on the door sounds.

MARY SUE (O.S.)It’s me!

JAMICome on in, Mary Sue!

MARY SUE enters and heads straight for the couch.

MARY SUEI saw you guys in the parking lot! What a cute pug!

She sits down next to Jami, who lets her pet MSB.

6.

JAMII’m calling him Mr. Snugglebear or MSB for short.

Jay looks at her.

JAYSeriously? “MSB?”

MARY SUEI think it’s a great name!

JAMIJay’s not crazy about him.

Mary Sue looks at him.

MARY SUEWhy not, Jay?

JAYI’m just not ready for a new pet, okay?

Jami holds MSB up to Jay’s face. She speaks with “baby talk.”

JAMIBut he’s weddy for you...

JAYHe’s not even looking at me.

It’s true.

JAMIOh, the little baby must be hungry!

MARY SUEOh, let’s feed him.

Jay gets up.

JAYI’m going to my room.

JAMIHave a good night!

As he walks off, Jami and Mary Sue have the following exchange:

JAMI (CONT’D)I also got that job I applied for!

7.

MARY SUESweet! What are you doing?

JAMI... You know, I don’t really know.

INT. JAY’S BEDROOM — NIGHT

Jay’s room features a bed, a dresser, a computer desk, and several bookshelves filled with books, as well as a bedside stand with a lamp on it, a secondary source of light, the only one that is on at the moment. Jay lies in bed, wearing nothing but boxers. He reads a book, then puts it on his bedside table and turns off his lamp and curls up under his blanket.

FADE TO:

INT. JAY’S BEDROOM — NIGHT

Jay lies in the dark, the room dimly illuminated by the window. There is a thunderstorm outside. His blanket has vanished. He awakens, hearing the rain and realizes his blanket is gone. He feels for it and then sits up in bed and looks at the end of his bed. There, at the end, lies MSBwrapped up in the blanket. With a crash of lightning outside, Jay can see that MSB is clearly looking at him. Jay shrieks. Jami runs in, dressed in pajamas, and turns on the overhead light.

JAMIAre you okay?

She realizes that Jay in boxers isn’t exactly a bad sight.

JAMI (CONT’D)Damn.

JAYYour dog stole my covers!

Jami finds MSB, picks him up and unwraps him.

JAMIAw, the poor baby probably just wanted to snuggle up with you because he was scared!

She tosses the blanket back on Jay’s bed.

8.

JAMI (CONT’D)Come on, Mr. Snugglebear. You can sleep on my bed.

Jay exhales sharply as he covers himself as she leaves.

INT. JAMI AND JAY’S KITCHEN — DAY

Jay is making breakfast. Out of the toaster pops a couple slices of toast, out of the frying pan comes some scrambled eggs. Jay puts this on a plate and sets it on the kitchen table. He turns to pull a carton of orange juice out of the refrigerator. As he turns back to pour himself some juice, he sees MSB on the table, eating his eggs.

JAYYou damn dog!

He puts MSB on the floor and scrapes his plate into the trash.

INT. JAMI AND JAY’S APARTMENT - DAY

Jami sits on the couch with MSB on her lap, watching a TV show. Jay enters and sits down next to her. The tiniest hint of a growl is heard. Jami doesn’t seem to notice, but Jay does and hops back up on his feet.

JAYOkay, did you hear that?

JAMIHear what?

JAYHe growled at me! This dog hates me!

JAMICome on, he doesn’t hate you.

JAYReally? Watch this.

He sits down next to Jami again. MSB snuggles with her. Jami rolls her eyes.

JAMIOh my god, I can feel the hate. What a horrible little monster.

9.

JAYSeriously?

JAMINo! Can’t you detect sarcasm? Look, MSB probably doesn’t like you as much as me, but that’s because you haven’t made the effort to bond with him. I automatically let him know that I’m his friend, while you’ve kept back.

JAYLook, I don’t mean to, but... Scott...

JAMIOkay, what happened to this cat?

Jay pushes himself deep into the cushions. He sighs.

JAYI let him play outside, and the neighbors ran him over. Right in front of me. He was my little buddy since he’d been weaned, and it was all over in five minutes.

Jami’s shocked by this.

JAMIOh, Jay...

JAYAnd it’s my fault. If I hadn’t let him out, he might still be alive.

She puts MSB beside her and hugs Jay.

JAMIHey, it’s not your fault. He wanted to be outside to be happy and then your stupid neighbor didn’t even have the consideration to stop for him.

JAYIs that why you brake for squirrels?

Jami nods.

10.

JAMIBut even if it wasn’t that, anything could have happened to him. You don’t need to blame yourself for it, and you certainly don’t need to feel like you can’t love another pet because of it.

Jay sighs. He reaches across Jami’s lap and rubs MSB’s head. MSB licks Jay’s hand. Jay continues petting MSB and after a little bit, the pug walks over Jami’s lap and onto Jay’s and lies down.

JAMI (CONT’D)See? You just needed to let him know that you could be his friend.

Jay pets MSB.

JAYHe is a nice dog.

Jami crosses her arms and smiles with a self-satisfied expression. She was right.

JAMITold you so.

EXT. CITY PARK - DAY

Jami and Jay have taken MSB to the park. Accompanying them is Mary Sue and baby Sonja. Jay holds a small chain leash.

MARY SUELovely day, isn’t it?

Jami, carrying MSB, looks down at him.

JAMIYou want to go play fetch, boy? Do you? Huh?

She puts him down and grabs a stick off of the ground. She waves it in front of MSB’s face.

JAMI (CONT’D)Do you, boy? Huh?

He’s excited by it. She throws it and he runs after it.

JAMI (CONT’D)Go get it, boy!

11.

JAYAnd hopefully, he’ll come back.

MARY SUEI’m going to take Sonja to the swings. Give me a call when you’re ready to go!

She walks away. MSB returns carrying a tennis ball.

JAMIWhat a smart dog! Who's a smart puppy? You are! Yes you are! Smartest puppy in the world!

She picks up the ball.

JAMI (CONT’D)Fetching: nailed it.

JAYYou threw a stick. He came back with a ball.

JAMIWhich shows that my dog has very good taste!

They sit down on the grass and Jami scratches behind MSB’sear.

JAMI (CONT’D)Okay, fetch isn’t his strong point.

They hear a rustle from a couple bushes nearby. A LARGE DOG (BUDDY) comes out from behind them, looking for the ball. He is shortly followed by RUSH, a buff, handsome young man.

JAYSpeaking of “strong...”

Rush restrains Buddy.

RUSHSorry about that.

Jay looks up at him and smiles.

JAYNothing to apologize for, good-lookin’!

12.

RUSHYeah, Buddy gets enthusiastic about fetch.

JAMIIt’s cool. My dog’s the same way.

She stands up.

JAMI (CONT’D)I’m Jami.

RUSHI’m Rush. Who’s your cute little friend?

Jay smiles, picks up MSB in the hand with the leash, stands, and extends his other hand to Rush.

JAYOh, I’m Jay.

Rush doesn’t shake his hand.

RUSHActually, I meant the dog.

JAMIOh, this is Mr. Snugglebear. MSB to our friends. You can call him MSB.

Rush smiles at her.

RUSHWell, Jami, would you like to walk with me and Buddy a little?

JAMII’m sure Jay wouldn’t mind. Jay?

Jay looks awkwardly at her.

JAYUh...

JAMISee? No problem! Let’s go!

She tosses the ball for Buddy as she and Rush walk off together. Jay and MSB watch her leave.

JAYShe is going to owe me big!

13.

He looks down at MSB.

JAY (CONT’D)Wait a second. If you helped Jami nab a hot guy, maybe you can help me!

Jay puts MSB on the leash and they begin strolling through the park.

JAY (CONT’D)Come on, just do me this one favor, and we’re all good, boy.

FADE TO:

EXT. DOG PARK - MOMENTS LATER

Jay and MSB are surrounded by FOUR YOUNG WOMEN who are admiring MSB. Jay is scowling.

YOUNG WOMAN 1Oh my god!

YOUNG WOMAN 2What an adorable little pug!

YOUNG WOMAN 3Cutest puppy ever!

YOUNG WOMAN 4I just want to pet him!

JAYDAMMIT.

INT. JAMI AND JAY’S APARTMENT — EVENING

Jay enters, holding MSB on his leash, tired. He and the dog sit down on the couch.

JAYRelax, boy.

He pets the dog.

JAY (CONT’D)Did you enjoy that walk? I hope so. It was only...

He checks his phone.

14.

JAY (CONT’D)...an hour and a half.

There’s a knock at the door.

MARY SUE (O.S.)It’s me!

JAYCome on in!

Mary Sue enters, holding a bus pass.

MARY SUEThanks for letting me borrow your bus pass to get home.

She hands it to him.

JAYYou’re welcome.

MARY SUEJami’s not back yet?

She sits down next to him.

JAYI hope she’s okay.

MARY SUEDid she like that guy?

JAYHow could she not? He was hot!

MARY SUEAh, that explains it. Sometimes when you’re with someone you like, time just flies by.

JAYThings are working out nicely for her, then.

He sighs.

JAY (CONT’D)Just this week, she got a new job, a dog and now a boyfriend. What do I get? Sharing this dog.

MSB licks his hand. Jay smiles.

15.

JAY (CONT’D)He’s not that bad.

MARY SUEEnjoy the little things, sweetie. They’ll get you ready to really enjoy the big things.

Jami enters, smiling brightly.

JAMIHi, glad you guys made it home safe!

Jay puts his feet up on the arm of the couch.

JAYWe managed.

MARY SUEJay let me use his bus pass so I could take Sonja home.

Jami sits down.

JAMIYeah, I got to talking with that Rush guy and he seems really nice and we lost all track of time.

MARY SUESo, was it your first date?

Jami thinks.

JAMIYeah, I guess it was!

A beat.

JAMI (CONT’D)Wait, Jay did you walk MSB home?

Jay drums his fingertips on the sofa.

JAYYeah. It was a long walk and I’m going to need a soak.

Jami taps his shoulder and gets up.

JAMIYou stay right there, I’m going to get you a soak ready.

16.

JAYBut Jami, I —

JAMIYou took care of my dog, it’s the least I can do. I don’t want to be the bitch.

She stops and looks at him.

JAMI (CONT’D)Have you ever seen Doctor Who?

JAYNo.

JAMIWhy not?

JAYI just never really caught an episode.

MARY SUEI haven’t seen it either.

Jami puts her hands on her hips.

JAMIOkay, both of you are going to need to stay down. Mary Sue, let your mom know you’re going to be gone for a bit. I’m going to show you something that will change your life.

JAYIt’s just a TV show.

Jami hurries away.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. JAMI AND JAY’S APARTMENT — MOMENTS LATER

Jay’s feet are soaking in a tub of water as he sits at the couch, staring transfixed at the television. Mary Sue sits on the other side of the couch, similarly transfixed. Jami sits between them, petting MSB and looking very satisfied. On the coffee table is a big bowl of hardly touched popcorn and mugs of tea. There is a towel on the arm of the couch.

17.

JAMIAnd that is why we don’t skip Nine. What did you think?

Jay turns to look at her.

JAYWHERE HAS THIS SHOW BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE?

Mary Sue turns to look at her.

MARY SUEI NEED MORE.

JAMIOh, don’t worry. There’s more. LOTS more.

She does an evil laugh.

JAMI (CONT’D)Mine is an evil laugh!

MSB barks, pulling Jay and Mary Sue out of their state. Mary Sue checks her phone.

MARY SUEI gotta bail, guys. I got the breakfast shift tomorrow. Later!

She gets up and heads to the door. Jay waves at her.

JAYPeace.

She leaves. Jay pushes the tub away and starts drying his feet with a towel. (Foot porn.)

JAMII’m still really sorry about making you walk back home with MSB.

JAYYou know what? Don’t be. I’m glad I did.

JAMIReally?

JAYYeah, he’s a sweet little guy.

He reaches over and scratches MSB’s head.

18.

JAY (CONT’D)And he scared off all those nasty monsters on the way back home, didn’t you, boy?

MSB barks.

JAMINice that you two finally get along.

Jay lifts MSB into his lap.

JAYHe might not be the biggest, most ferocious dog, or even the prettiest, but at the end of the day, he’s still our dog. And he’s our friend, too, isn’t he?

Jami smiles and nods.

JAY (CONT’D)Sometimes, you need all the friends in the world that you can get.

MSB licks Jay’s hand.

INT. JAMI’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jami lies on her bed, with her laptop. Jami’s room is highly decorated with two things: the color purple and unicorns. Purple unicorns when available. She has a big shelf of haph-hazardly stacked books. Her purple-covered bed has a nightstand with a unicorn lamp on it. She’s writing an e-mail to a friend back in Trinidad.

JAMI (V.O.)Hey, Jess. How’s it going in Trinidad? I miss you all, but I’ve really found my way up here in Kansas City. I just moved into a place with this guy named Jay and one of our shared interests is hot guys.

INT. JAY’S BEDROOM — NIGHT

Jay lies on his bed, MSB snuggling next to him under the covers, Jay pets him and turns off the light.

19.

JAMI (V.O.)I also got a dog, and it took Jay a bit to get used to it, but I think it’ll be all right.

INT. JAMI’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jami continues typing.

JAMI (V.O.)I also just met this guy named Rush and I think we’re dating now. I hope so. He’s hot.

She sighs.

JAMI (V.O.)Well, I think that’s about it. It’s late and I got a new job to start tomorrow. It’s gonna be a blast.

INT. JAMI’S OFFICE - DAY

Jami, dressed in business attire, sits at a simple desk, typing forms into a computer. A foam projectile from a Nerfgun hits her. She looks up at sees Boss holding a Nerf gun. She stands and pulls a big, fully loaded Nerf rifle out and points it at Boss.

JAMITwo can play at that game.

She starts firing.

FADE TO BLACK.

20.