Interpersonal Skills: Effective Communication & Conflict Resolution

Chapter 9

What are interpersonal skills?

Skills needed to get along with others Communication skills, conflict

resolution skills, and planning skills

Communication Skills

Terms to know: active listening, body language, communication, eye contact, feedback, “I” statements, nonverbal, verbal

Communication: sending and receiving of messages between people

Ways of communicating: 1. “I” messages 2. Verbal 3. Nonverbal

“I” statements

Three parts to an “I” statement “I feel…” “when you…” “because…”

Using “I” statements in an argument helps to avoid raising negative feelings Not attacking the other person

Verbal

Words are used Tone of voice, how you say words Knowing how you sound ensures you are

sending the right messages you intend to send

Knowing when and where to communicate can make communicating more positive Make sure the person is willing and able to listen Avoid times when emotions can interfere Make sure other person is not distracted

Nonverbal

Without words or body language Affects not only how others see you,

but also how they react to your verbal message

Eye contact is very important with nonverbal communication

Active Listening

Concentrating on what is said so that you understand and remember the message

Helps: Relationships grow Grow as a person Know more about the world Boosts self-esteem

How to listen better

Concentrate Listen with a purpose Keep an open mind Be positive Make eye contact Control you emotions Don’t interrupt

Feedback

Listener lets the speaker know that he or she is trying to understand the message being delivered

Ways to give feedback: Interject a comment when the speaker pauses Summarize what the other is saying Express interest by asking questions Show empathy when others are upset

Example: “that’s so unfair” or “you must have been hurt”

Body Language Activity

Body Language Activity http://www.cccoe.net/social/bodylang.htm

Conflict Resolution

Chapter 11

Conflict Resolution

Terms to know: conflict, mediation, negotiation, peer mediation

Conflict is a struggle between people who disagree

Not unusual to have conflicts

Why conflicts occur

Situational causes Personality

differences Power struggles

Negative Results

Negative emotions arise People can become ill People say things they don’t mean Relationships suffer Violence can occur

Resolving conflicts

Conflict resolution process: 1. Identify the problem 2. Identify possible outcomes 3. Evaluate each suggested solution 4. Pick the best solution 5. See if the solution is working 6. If necessary, agree to disagree

Skillful resolution

Use words, not fists Take charge of the situation Take turns talking Control your voice Show respect Speak the truth Control your language Use effective body language Value your safety

Avoiding conflicts

See the positive side in situations Change the subject Defuse the situation with confidence Don’t be easily irritated

??When should you ignore a conflict??

Mediation

Unbiased third party that helps in settling conflicts

Used when two people can not settle a conflict on their own

Peer mediation (process in which specially trained students help other students resolve conflicts peacefully) are used in schools

Time Management

Tools to help manage time: Calculators, date

books, electronic planners, calendars, etc.

How to manage time

Set goals – goal’s become your guide Example: someone wants to improve on the

piano, schedule more practice time What do you want to accomplish today? This

week? Month? year? Set priorities – we usually don’t have time to

do everything we want to do; therefore, we must prioritize (decide which tasks are more important than others

Cont.

To-do lists: Write down what you want to accomplish Assign it a category: A,B,C

“A” most important , etc. Schedule some “down time” also!!

Trouble-makers

Wasted time: identify what you do that might be wasting time

Procrastination: putting things off Do unpleasant tasks first Avoid distractions and interruptions Set up a schedule

Over commitment: learn to say “no”

Strategies

Break large tasks into smaller units Dovetail activities (overlap activities in order

to save time) Allow enough time (don’t rush) Be prepared Evaluate standards (are you setting

impossible standards for yourself?) Be flexible: not everything goes as planned