Intergenerational Befriending

29th April 2015

“Befriending is a relationship between a trained volunteer and an isolated or lonely individual (befriendee), which is initiated, supported and monitored by a voluntary or statutory agency”

Definition of befriending

Befriending is … (yes / no / maybe)

1. Just like friendship

2. A way to provide respite for the befriendee’s carer

3. Focused mainly on building a good relationship

between the befriender and the befriendee

4. Giving advice to befriendees about lifestyle and

behaviour

Befriending and friendship

Befriending involves creating and maintaining a personal relationship, so there are obviously elements of friendship present in a befriending

relationship.

Befriending and friendship

However, there are important differences. Whilst friendly, it is a

professional relationship governed by boundaries and carried out in line with

the outcomes of the supervising organisation.

It’s all about the relationship

The relationship itself is the main focus of a befriending relationship. This is why

good communication skills and an open, empathic attitude are the most

important characteristics of a befriender.

Giving advice

Befrienders and coordinators of befriending services often

provide useful information about health and lifestyle to

befriendees if requested.

Giving advice

However, this is very different from giving advice and it is not part of the befriender’s

role to give advice about any aspect of lifestyle or behaviour even if they are an expert in that field in their professional

life.

Befriending is … (yes / no / maybe)

5. Focused on supporting the befriendee to reach

certain goals

6. The key to solving all the befriendee’s problems

7. Giving help with practical tasks and problems

8. About the befriender as much as about the

befriendee

Befriending and goals

Befriending is about the relationship and the quality of the time spent together.

Many personal goals may be achieved as a result of the increased confidence and

wellbeing which this relationship brings …

Befriending and goals

… and befrienders can be instrumental in supporting

befriendees to resolve practical issues, BUT these are all essentially a by-product of the relationship itself.

The scope of befriending

Befriending can have a powerful positive impact on the life of an isolated or lonely

person, but it is important not to make promises which are either too wide or too

specific to be realistically fulfilled.

Befriending and the befriender

It is essential that the relationship is right for the befriender too. Coordinators need to check in regularly with befrienders to

make sure they’re happy with how things are going.

Befriending is … (yes / no / maybe)

9. An informal way of providing counselling or

therapy

10. Providing a relationship that others in the

client’s life can not

11. Something a befriendee can turn to in an

emergency

12. Something which essentially only involves two

people – the befriender and the befriendee

Befriending is unique

Befriending services work with people who lack meaningful informal social relationships. The essential support

they provide is usually not available to befriendees in any other form.

Not an emergency service

Befriending is a long-term, preventative intervention. Though befrienders need to be trained on how to respond should an

emergency arise while they are with their befriender ….

Not an emergency service

… organisations must make it clear to befriendees and

befrienders alike that befrienders are not there to be

called upon I an emergency.

Models of befriending delivery

Face-to-face:

1:1

Groups

Distance:

Telephone

Email / letter

Intergenerational Projects:

Residential setting

Befrienders in groups

???

The future of befriending is waiting to be written!

Delivery models

VOLUNTARY ACTION

ORKNEY

Adult Befriending Service

Linsey Drever

Co-Ordinator

Long

Waiting List

Starting out

Get Together For a Yarn

New project

CONNECT- open to young people who are 16-19, who are unsure of what steps to take next or are not ready to move on to employment

or further education.

TRAINING

YOUNG SCOT AWARD WINNER 2014

COGNITIVE STIMULATION THERAPY

Topsy “ Really enjoys

the sessions and likes

meeting everybody”

Bella “She enjoys us

coming up”

Bessie “ Thinks we are

always perfect and

that we make their

day. 1-2-3 and a hop!

Guiding Principles The skills and experience of CST group facilitators are integral to the effective running of

sessions. There are 18 'Key Principles' which facilitators must incorporate into sessions:

Mental stimulation

New ideas, thoughts and associations

Using orientation, both sensitively and implicitly

Opinions rather than facts

Using reminiscence as an aid to the here-and-now

Providing triggers to aid recall

Continuity and consistency between sessions

Implicit (rather than explicit) learning

Stimulating language

Stimulating executive functioning

Person-centredness

Respect

Involvement

Inclusion

Choice

Fun

Maximising potential

Building / strengthening relationships

Below is a comment from Carl (age 16) who attends

The Connect Project –

“……..I like the befriending sessions because I learn

from the residents and enjoy meeting new people. I

have suffered from panic attacks in the past but

going to the befriending sessions has helped to ease

these greatly. I think the residents enjoy our

company and like to mix with the younger

generation”…………

And from Sandy (age 16)

“…….. I think what we gain from Befriending is more

self-confidence with speaking to new people as well as

communication skills. They gain more interaction from

a different generation which they share their stories

from experiences through their life”……

“THE WRATH OF THE GLUE DOTS”!

Thank You!

QUESTIONS?

The benefits of befriending

Increased confidence and self-esteem

Increased involvement with communities

More able to manage challenges of everyday life

The benefits of befriending

More cohesive and integrated communities communities

Less pressure on health and social care services

Reductions in rates of crime, homelessness, substance abuse and suicide

The benefits of intergenerational befriending

Greater communication and understanding between young and old

Befrienders learn skills from past they have no other way of learning about. They impart ‘modern’ skills which will be useful to the befriendee

Befriendees enjoy knowing that their skills and knowledge are appreciated. They gain practical knowledge of of new skills

Discussion questions

What might be the benefits to your client group of developing an

intergenerational befriending project?

What do you think would be the main challenges facing your

organisation in developing an intergenerational project? What

resources would you need to overcome them?

What three actions could you take in the next month towards the

development of an intergenerational befriending project?

Intergenerational Befriending

www.befriending.co.uk www.vaorkney.org.uk