December 2012

Forward

LookingBACK,

Moving

3 Nostalgia Charles R. Swindoll

pressure points

6 Is Routine Our Friend? Steve Johnson

lifetrac

9 Conviction, Character, & Waves Robyn Roste

stronG faMilY

12 Life Through the Rear-View Mirror Angie Appenheimer

lauGhinG Matters

14 Daddy of the Bride Phil Callaway

help Me understand

17 Crisis Management Insight for Living Canada

in this issue

"Our habit of looking back in life’s rear-view

mirror can put us on a

collision course."

Copyright © 2012 Insight for Living Canada. All rights reserved. No portion of this monthly publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the publisher. Insights is published by IFLC, the Bible-teaching ministry of Charles R. Swindoll. IFLC is an autonomous ministry and certified member of the Canadian Council of Christian Charities. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture passages are taken from the NASB. Printed in Canada. Unless otherwise noted, photography by IFLC staff.

NostalgiaNostalgiaby Charles R. Swindoll

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Nostalgia continued from p. 3

occasionally, I will hear an old song that resur-rects memories in the tender spots of my soul. People and places step out of the shadows and

visit with me for a brief moment or two. Does that hap-pen to you, too? If so, you understand what’s hard to put into words. Suddenly, without announcement, nostalgia sweeps over me, and I am trapped in its sticky web for an exhilarating experience that’s always too brief to satisfy … too vivid to ignore … too deep to describe … too per-sonal to share.

Nostalgia. That abnormal yearning within us to step into the time tunnel and recover the irrecoverable. That wistful dream, that sentimental journey taken within the mind—always travelled alone and therefore seldom discussed.

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Photograph of Chuck Swindoll © 2012 by Luke Edmonson

Here’s where it sometimes starts:• A barefoot walk along a sandy beach• A quiet visit to the little place where

you grew up• Listening to a rippling brook running

quietly over the rocks through a misty forest of autumn leaves

• Singing the song of your alma mater• Looking over childhood photos in the

family album• Watching your

now-grown “child” leave home

• Standing beside the fresh grave of a close, personal friend or relative

• The smell and sounds of a warm, crackling fireplace

• An old letter, bruised with age, signed by one who really loved you

• Climbing to the top of a windswept hill —then standing there, still … silent

• Getting alone—all alone—and reading aloud

• Christmas Eve, late at night, in the room where only the tree lights glisten

• Lovely poems … beautiful melodies• Weddings … graduations …

anniversaries• Snow … sleds … toboggans … a long,

downhill slide• Saying goodbye after a memorable visit

Oh, yeah … you’ve been there. I can tell by that smile you’re trying to hide.

I suppose this is why I enjoy the holidays so much. The smells from the kitchen, the presence of my loving wife, the chatter of the grandkids, laughter around the sup-per table … the inexpressible feelings of gratitude to God for my home … my coun-try … my church … and my Saviour … all

converge upon me as nostalgia’s net tight-ens around me holding me close within its imaginary strands of endearment.

I have often wondered how Jesus must have entertained nostalgic feelings as He visited this planet He had originally cre-ated. How moving is that statement: “He came to His own” (Jn. 1:11)! You see, when Jesus came as a man, He lived and walked

among familiar territory. He was no stranger to this old earth … He came “to His own things” (literally). Having returned to His handiwork—my, how nostalgic the journey must

have been for Him at times! Because He was not wanted, He was driven to a life of silence, solitude, and simplicity. The hills and the wilderness and the Sea of Galilee became His habitat. It was there He com-muned best with His Father. It was there He trained His small band of followers. Is it any wonder that the hills and the forest and the waves of the sea still hold us in the grip of nostalgia?

Take a drive sometime during the holi-days—even if it’s for only an hour. In the stillness of your surroundings, give nostal-gia the go ahead. Let it run free … release your mind of all your cares, and see where it takes you. That’s one of my treasured pastimes during this season, and I’d like you to enjoy it with me.

If we meet together on one of those back roads of our memories, I will be so pleased—and I promise not to tell a soul. I’m good at keeping nostal-gic secrets.

"I have often wondered how Jesus must have entertained

nostalgic feelings as He visited this planet He had

originally created."

5

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by Steve Johnson

6

Pres

sure

Poi

nts

Some wag observed, “Nobody likes change except wet babies, and even they will usually cry about it.” It’s

true. I don’t cry about change but much to the chagrin of change advocates around me I say, “Routine is our friend.”

God has wired us to find comfort, secu-rity, and identity in the familiar, the rou-tine, our customs and traditions. Losing them or changing them can throw us off balance and that’s uncomfortable. Most of us don’t want to change because we believe it will be detrimental somehow—we’ll lose power, comfort, convenience, or position.

God Himself doesn’t change, but that is not an argument against change. He is not interested in maintaining the status quo at all costs but rather expects us to change. He tells us, “Be transformed” (Rom. 12:2) and that may mean repentance—chang-ing our mind and behaviour. Change is necessary for salvation and life to occur.

Dealing with change in life can be hard but Scripture does provide us with some direction. One of the best examples of change was the Israelites leaving Egypt after 430 years and heading to the Prom-ised Land. One would think they would welcome the change from slavery to free-dom, and at first they did. But human nature being what it is they weren’t long in the desert before they wanted to go back to the familiar settings and food of Egypt—even if it meant bondage.

From Israel’s experience, five principles for managing change emerge.

Preparation. Change is constant; always be mentally prepared for it. Develop a mindset that welcomes the fact that in order for life to continue there must be change. In one sense the Pass-over was Israel’s act of mental and spiri-tual preparation. They were to partake of it dressed ready to leave (Ex. 12:11). It built anticipation for departure and eventual arrival in Canaan. In the case of the Isra-elites and Christians God had made prom-ises to Abraham. Change is necessary for the unfolding of God’s redemptive plan.

Priorities. Change means disruption and disorientation; prioritizing provides a stable focus. Obedience to the Lord was the overarching priority for Israel. It was to be manifest in the Ten Commandments and the law, which gave structure and stability to a new nation. It prioritized relationships to God, family, work, and others—priorities for our times of change as well.

Provision. Change can be sudden, not giving us time to prepare; God, who allowed the change, will provide. When Israel was driven out the day after Pass-over, they did not have time for any fur-ther food preparations (12:39). The Lord provided His presence, protection, guid-ance, and food. His constant reassurance to Moses and the people was, “I will be with you.” And that presence was mani-

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isa. 43:19 NIV)

7

Upcoming messages Include:Grace: It’s Really AmazingThe Free GiftIsn’t It Risky To Embrace Grace?If You’re Free, Why Not Live Like It?

Many of us know the words to John Newton’s famous song, Amazing Grace, but do we

understand what the lyrics mean? This classic series of messages from Chuck Swindoll gives us

a glimpse into how amazing God’s grace is and reminds us that where sin abounds, grace super-abounds! Don’t miss this chance to discover the

true meaning behind God’s amazing grace!

on the air in january

fest through the cloud by day and the pil-lar of fire by night (13:21). When Pharaoh attacked, God protected them by taking them through the Red Sea. When food was needed, He provided manna and quail. God’s constant assurance for His children, no matter what change we go through is, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). Our comfort and security is not in the familiar, but in our unchanging God who provides what we need through the changes.

Process. Change is an event or series of events, but our response to it is a process. We experience a range of emotions like fear, anxiety, resentment, anger, denial and eventually acceptance as we process the change. Israel expressed many of these emotions as they transitioned from Egypt, to the wilderness, and eventually to Canaan.

Don’t deny change is happening. Allow yourself to feel the loss, sadness, and even anger at the change. Denial and try-ing to continue as if nothing has changed can result in not making the necessary adaptations to survive and thrive in the new situation.

Understanding and accepting the pro-cess can help you embrace change more readily and move forward in your life.

Positivity. Change is often uncontrolla-ble but your attitude isn’t. Choosing a posi-tive attitude goes a long way to ensuring the process and outcomes are positive as well. Israel did not do this. Despite the Lord’s presence, protection, and provision they grumbled at every turn. At the border of Canaan 10 spies chose a negative, unbeliev-ing perspective and the eventual outcome was 40 dismal years in the wilderness. Had they chosen a positive, faith-filled outlook, they would not have suffered as much. That too would have changed.

“Nobody likes change except wet babies, and even they will usually cry about it.”

Steve Johnson is the executive director at IFLC.

8

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On lifetrac.ca/blog this mOnth: "One Foot In" Christianity by Annalisa Patenaude

by Robyn Roste

ConviCtion, CharaCter,

&

Conviction, Character, & Waves continued from p. 9

“so... is the oil thing a big deal out where you’re from?”

The question was posed at a wedding I attended in eastern Canada. It caught me off guard because I was under the impression all Canadians were as aware of the oil contro-versy in western Canada as I was.

Through the discussion following the question, I realized how easy it is to assume the same issues impact everyone.

This experience challenged me to speak up more about the things that impact me—even if I suspect I’m stating the obvious. It may be a personality thing, but I have found speaking my mind quite difficult. For me it’s not only intimidating but downright scary to commit out loud to an opinion someone might disagree with.

In fact when I feel my opinion creeping towards my vocal chords my face flushes, my heart races, and my eyes dart around the room looking for an escape. What if my out-look upsets someone? What if people think I’m dumb? What if I’m wrong?

Finding the courage to speak my mind has been daunting, but worthwhile. Through this challenge I’ve stumbled upon a vital dis-covery: the importance of knowing my mind before I speak it. If I don’t know my opinion before I open my mouth I’m only spouting empty words. Knowing your mind is a key trait in a person who lives with conviction, a concept I’d like to think more on.

People who live with conviction no lon-ger react to life, or float along taking life

as it comes. These people initiate action because they are motivated by their beliefs. Their decision-making and behaviour are also impacted because they know what they believe and why.

Living in this way creates a solid founda-tion to build a life upon—and in fact it’s a bib-lical practice (Rom. 14:5; 2 Tim. 1:12). Decid-ing what we believe and why is something we must do if we are to stand firm through the tough times.

Think about conviction in this way: when you know what drives you in life you are prepared for whatever happens. It is unlikely Jesus’ disciples would have stuck around to be martyrs if they were not wholly commit-ted to their cause. We must be equally com-mitted to our convictions.

Genesis 49 describes a person who lives without conviction to be like water. Jacob’s son Reuben was the victim of this label—“as unruly as a flood,” (Gen. 49:4 NLT). Because water is a liquid it is easily manipulated to take the shape of whatever occupies. It is also at the mercy of its environment. Reuben’s main problem was despite great intentions he lacked follow-through. He didn’t want to take part in his brothers’ plot to kill Joseph but he seemed unable to stand against a crowd. Instead of speaking his mind he worked the angles and made plans in secret. Acting in this way made him difficult to trust, as he would say one thing and do another. It also caused him to compromise his convictions.

Water is mentioned again in James 1, this time to describe doubt. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives gen-erously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

"It is unlikely Jesus’ disciples would have stuck around to be martyrs if they were not wholly committed to their cause."

Robyn Roste is the LifeTrac co-ordinator at IFLC.

Free mp3

Despite the hymns we sing many people think they can earn their way into heaven if their good deeds outweigh their bad deeds. In this month’s free mp3, Unwrapping the Gift of Grace, Chuck Swindoll teaches when you replace your good deeds with the Good News you are free from works. Salvation is simply a gift. All you have to do is accept it.

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A plAn thAt Won’t BAckFire

Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do,” (Jas. 1:5-8).

The way water is used in Genesis and James is to create a mental image of someone without conviction to be blown around by life—someone who is not in control of his or her actions. It’s interesting to note water is not exclusively used in a negative context in the Bible. Water is also used when refer-encing purification (Num. 19:12), provision (Ps. 104:13), and Christ (Jer. 2:13, Jn 4:10).

Another word to describe living with conviction is charac-ter. Chuck Swindoll in his study guide Character Counts says character is “the ever-present moral, ethical, and spiritual undergirding of our lives. Godly character rests on truth, rein-forces our lives in difficult times, and resists the temptation to compromise.” He also says our character is especially impor-tant when we’re going through tough times because it speaks for us when we can’t.

If you’re left wondering if you’re a person of character take some time to think through how you live your life, and if that is a reflection of your convic-tions—by what you believe to be true. If not, then you know what changes you need to make. If so, then continue to wrestle with your beliefs so you can continue to be refined and become more and more like Christ.

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner

improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on.

If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on

solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It

was fixed to the rock.” (matt. 7:24-25 the message)

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by Angie Appenheimer12

Stro

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Fam

ily

Angie Appenheimer lives in Abbotsford, BC with her husband and four sons.

You know how it is when you notice a particular car and then see it every-

where? For me, it’s a green Chrysler Intrepid. Every time I see it I’m reminded of a February evening 11 years ago. As I came to a red light, I glanced in my mirror and saw an Intrepid approaching. Then I felt an incredible jolt. My body hit the steering wheel and my head bounced back and forth like one of those crash test dummies.

I had been driving to Vancouver every day to be with my son, who had been born eight weeks premature. My car accident made things complicated. I couldn’t hold my son without pain, even though he weighed so little.

Some ladies from The Salvation Army came to the ward with stuffed animals and Scriptures. I received Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ said the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” I just couldn’t relate to looking ahead with a positive outlook. Instead, I continued to look back on my less than favourable situation.

A year and a half passed and my son’s condition left me feeling drained and hopeless. The accident had added more busyness to my life with appointments and the stress of attempting to recover while managing a family of six. How could this be part of God’s plan for our lives? How could we look forward to our future? What did hope look like?

At 18 months, my son Josh received a pacemaker. God had given us renewed hope, but I was still stuck looking in my figurative rear-view mirror. Instead of remembering His promise to me in Jer-emiah, I re-visited my stress, uncertainty, and fear of losing my son. When God spoke to Jeremiah, He was reminding the people of Judah that He wanted to bless them, not

harm them. The same is true for us today. Whatever the circumstances of our life, whatever important and life-changing decisions we face, God is in control of our future. When we find ourselves dealing with suffering and hardship, His plans have not changed. We just might not understand His purposes at the time. In Romans 8:28 He reminds us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” We can be confident that God will keep that promise.

Our habit of looking back in life’s rear-view mirror can put us on a collision course. We can lose sight of God’s stead-fast grip in our life. But the reality is that despite our circumstances or how we feel about them, God has a plan for our lives—one that is filled with hope and blessings.

This leaves us with a choice. We can choose to set our eyes on God and stop looking at the rear-view mirror, or we can depend on our own strength. No matter what our situation, we can ask Him for strength, wisdom, and direction. He pours His peace, comfort, and hope into our life as we lean on Him. Psalm 46:1 reminds us that “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.” No mat-ter how you’re feeling the truth is we are never alone and we can depend on God in all of our everyday stuff. He gives us every-thing we need to move forward with com-plete confidence in Him.

Soon Josh will have his pacemaker removed. He is a happy and healthy 11-year-old boy. I‘ve recovered from my injuries from the accident and enjoy long walks, family time, and sharing about God’s good-ness. Our past shapes us and helps us to grow. But there’s no point to living life look-ing through the rear-view mirror.

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DaDDy BriDe

here is no real job description for the father of the bride. You stand around feigning patience and bravery, telling fibs like, “I’d

love to buy that dress for you,” hoping she doesn’t catch you gasping at the price tag and smacking your forehead. You find yourself saying, “Sure, go ahead. No prob-lem. I’ll write a cheque.” And all the while you have as much control of your emo-tions as a Brazilian soccer fan. You smile when it makes no logical sense, choke back unsolicited advice, and barricade the tears when she says, “Let’s go for one last walk. Tomorrow I change my name.”

The truth is, she’s had you wrapped around her pinkie for 22 years. Your sons are another matter. You paw the ground and snort at them, but not her. She bats

her eyes and you are cheese in a barbecue.And when this stunningly gorgeous gal

takes your arm and pulls you down the aisle, the minister talks but you don’t hear him. You’re too busy staring daggers at the boy you’ve been trying to keep on curfew for months. You’re the quarterback on the final play of the Super Bowl and they’ve asked you to hand the ball to a rookie whose skills are untested, whose motives are not entirely pure—much like yours when you were his age.

“Does anyone have reason these two should not be joined?”

“Me! I have 300 reasons! Where do I start?”

But you choose the right to remain silent and sit beside your wife who is dab-bing her eyes with a tissue but needs a

by Phil Callaway

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Laug

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g M

atte

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DaDDy

beach towel. “I’ll tell you why people cry at weddings,” you whisper. “They haven’t slept for three days.”

Rachael stands there looking like an opportunity missed by Rembrandt and when she talks I am dabbing too: “Jordan Matthew, I stand before you in white, not because of fashion, tradition, or purity, but because God is giving me to you as a gift. I promise to put Jesus first in our marriage, to love Him more than you, for only then can I truly show you love. I promise to make you laugh often and to be faithful. To make home a place you run to; a place you want to stay. I will care for you, be your helpmate, encourage you in ministry and stand by you no matter what comes. I give my heart to you, to guard and protect. I love you.”

In the row behind us sits Bill. Thirty-four years ago to the day he stood at the altar with snow-capped expectations vowing to be true to my wife’s sister. He had no idea they would enjoy nine short years together before Huntington’s disease arrived and the slow ride to the nursing home began. Here I am, surrounded by all these saints.

At the reception, my voice quivers like a fat man on a diving board and I’m thank-ful for notes. “My darling Rachael: We’ve been praying for this day for 22 years. Not because we wanted to get rid of you, but because we wanted to see you happy and

15

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smiling and hanging onto a guy who is head over boots in love with you, reason-ably handsome, and relatively responsi-ble. Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

“Someone said, ‘Don’t think of it so much as losing a daughter.’ They’re right. I think of it as paying to lose a daughter. You’re worth every penny. Sadly no one takes pen-nies. They want twenties and hundreds.

“Most nights when you were small I tucked you in with butterfly kisses. A nose rub. Fluttering eyelashes. ‘I love you, Rachael,’ ‘I love you too, Daddy.’ Remem-ber Jordan, I loved her first.

“Your friend Simone asked if I was gonna cry walking you down the aisle. I told her if I did it would be because I was about to hand the Mona Lisa to a 300-pound orangutan. She laughed because she knows that Jordan is anything but. He’s actually 200 pounds. Seriously, we love you Jordan. You fit into our family like chocolate on a s’more.

“Rachael, you’ve brought us up well. Most nights when we knocked on your

door, you were listening to country music or reading your Bible or counselling some needy friend on my phone. Thanks for your example. And thanks to both of you for not opening your Christmas presents in September. Sadly, the world we brought you into teaches you to wait for nothing. Like you, Ramona and I didn’t share a pil-low until our wedding night. We’ve not regretted it for a single moment.

“Our prayer is shorter than 22 years ago. Today it’s ‘Thanks!’ We thank God for you both. We’ll be cheering and praying. And the fridge will always be stocked.

“Grandpa and Grandma would have loved to see this day. They passed along so many great family traditions. For instance, they went along on all of our honeymoons. We can’t wait to spend the next two weeks with you in Thompson, Manitoba.

“And to all my friends about to partake in the six course meal, I want you to know that we are enrolled in the Gift Registry at the First National Bank.”

Living the proverbs

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Phil is an award-winning author and daddy of three.

16

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Crisis ManageMent

My family and I moved to a new city, leaving all our friends and family. While we haven’t been here long enough to make any solid connections we have found a church we’re thinking of attending. The stress of settling into new jobs, schools, and daily life is daunting but it is nothing compared to what happened this week. It started when my daughter got dizzy at school. Her teacher called and by the time I arrived at the school she could no longer walk unaided. We rushed to the hospital where they began tests. Three days later we’re no closer to answers. We have no friends, no support network, and no clue how to get through this. I don’t know how I’m going to keep it together.

“This can't be happening”

Crisis ManageMent

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Our PrObleMA crisis is any event that leads, or is expected to lead to, an unstable and dan-gerous situation, which affects an individual, family, group, community or society as a whole. Crises are deemed to be negative changes in life especially when they occur abruptly. Since a crisis is a testing time or an emergency event, we may panic, become stressed, or struggle to cope as a result.

GOd’s AnsWersRegardless of the reason for the crisis God is always in control. He cares about what we are going through (1 Pet. 5:7) and He never forsakes us (Heb. 13:5). God provides grace for our times of need if we humbly look to Him (Jn. 15:5; Phil. 4:13). That grace can manifest itself in whatever we need: peace (Isa. 26:3), comfort (Ps. 23:4), stabil-ity, protection, or guidance (Ps. 31:3). He will strengthen and uphold us (Isa. 41:10). God also assures us that He can work in and through the crisis for our good and His glory (Rom. 8:28).

THe sOluTIOnHeAd 1. Acknowledge that you are in crisis. Denial

just adds another level of stress. 2. Accept what you cannot change. There

may be things you cannot control. 3. Determine to get through this crisis with

the Lord’s help. 4. Choose your attitude. While you may not

be able to control the circumstances you can control your response to them. The best response is that of positive trust in the Lord. Be in the Word and memorize some of the passages above to help you trust and focus on the Lord.

HeArT 1. Feelings of helplessness and panic are

normal. Allow yourself to express your feelings but focus them only on the crisis, not on everything in your life. Recognize that there are still other things in your life that are positive and controllable.

2. Believe that God is in control and has His purposes for allowing the crisis (Rom. 8:28) including making us more like Christ.

3. Do not envy others who don’t appear to have trouble as it only demoralizes (Ps. 73).

4. Purpose to live the life you’re given the best you can.

HAnds1. Commit the crisis to the Lord in prayer (1

Pet. 5:7).2. Ask God to show you if there are things

you need to learn. God is always at work in us to make us like Christ. He always wants us to depend on Him totally.

3. Manage your body’s response. Breathing deeply, exercise, and eating properly help relieve the stress associated with crises.

4. Seek support and help if possible. Likely there are others who have faced a simi-lar crisis and who may be willing to share their experience.

5. Manage the crisis step by step. When in crisis, panicking and acting on impulse are not helpful. Prioritize what needs to be done and compartmentalize your problems into bite-sized pieces. This will make them more manageable.

by Insight for Living Canada

"While you may not be able to control the circumstances you can control your response to them."

2319

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sale!

reg. $24.00

reg. $8.00

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this Month’s fEatuRED REsouRCEliving the proverbs: insight for the daily Grind

hardcover by Charles R. Swindoll, 304 pages

How do you handle difficult people? Where do you go for advice on finances, marriage, and parenting?

This devotional study will help you to live out the wisdom of Proverbs in your everyday life.

first copy

$600 $1500additional

copies: reg. $20.00

If you’re searching for fresh devotionals for the New Year . . . check out our great selection on sale at insightforliving.ca/devotionals

info@insightforliving.ca • insightforliving.ca • 1.800.663.7639