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In 4-H Youth Development

Bullying

NDSU Extension ServiceCenter for 4-H Youth Development

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What is CHARACTER COUNTS!?

CHARACTER COUNTS! is more than character development curricula

The Six Pillars of Character

TRUSTWORTHINESS – honesty, integrity, promise-keeping, loyalty

RESPECT – courtesy, nonviolence, tolerance, autonomy

RESPONSIBILITY – duty, accountability, pursuit of excellence, self-restraint

FAIRNESS – openness, consistency, impartiality

CARING – kindness, compassion, empathy CITIZENSHIP – civic virtue, lawfulness,

common good

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Caring

• Concern for others’ well-being• Compassion• Empathy• Kindness and consideration• Charity• Sacrifice• Gratitude• Mercy and forgiveness

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Caring

Always be kind.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all – hurtful words have a lasting impact.

I have to show concern for others’ well-being.

I should act compassionately and with empathy.

I need to be kind and considerate.

I should practice charity, make sacrifices, and show gratitude.

I have to be willing to show mercy and forgiveness.

CARINGPositive values to instill

I will be a better person and live a more worthy life if I act on the following beliefs:

A Caring Person Is:

Compassionate and empathetic

Kind, loving, and considerate

Thankful and expresses gratitude

Forgiving of others

A Caring Person Is Not:

Mean, cruel, or insensitive

Selfish or self-centered

Too busy to lend a helping hand

Creating a Culture of Kindness

• In a Culture of Kindness, differences are accepted and celebrated.

• In a Culture of Kindness, it’s all for one and one for all; people stand up for and next to each other.

Pepper Experiment

• Step 1: Sprinkle the pepper in the water. • Step 2: Hold the soap in the middle of the

pepper for 3 seconds. Do not drop it in.• Step 3: Pour the sugar in the center of the water.

10 ©2012 Josephson Institute.

NDSU Extension 4-H Youth Development’s Definition of Bullying

Bullying behavior is defined as unwanted deliberate negative action by another individual or group of individuals with

intent to harm. Bullying may inflict harm or distress, including physical, social, sexual,

psychological, or educational harm. Bullying often includes an imbalance of

power between individuals/groups.

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The Triple D’s of BullyingDANGEROUS•Someone might

get hurt

DESTRUCTIVE

•Something might get broken, damaged, or destroyed

•Someone repeatedly teases or bullies other people

DISCRIMINATORY

•Someone’s core identity is ridiculed

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When 4-H’ers understand that they are responsible for their fellow 4-H members’ well-being, they are less likely to exhibit these behaviors and more likely to intervene if they see them.

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Is It Teasing or Bullying?

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Good-Natured Teasing

• Playful between BOTH people

• Uses a friendly tone• Encourages

friendships• Doesn’t lead to

physical confrontations

• Sometimes lightens a tense moment

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Hurtful Teasing

• Uses angry tone• Includes hostile body

language• Continues even when

distress is evident• Continues even when

the topic is upsetting to others

• Is accompanied by taunting or showing off

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Cyberbullying can include any of the following:

• Pretending to be someone else online• Sending threatening or mean messages• Posting/forwarding embarrassing images• Using information found online to harass• Setting up popularity polls • Creating an account as someone else

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Do• Intervene if you see/become aware of bullying

behaviors• Regularly discuss how to demonstrate caring

and respect• Establish clear guidelines for 4-H club and

activity conduct • Have a plan for handling incidents• Take all incidents seriously• Communicate with 4-H’ers and

parents/caregivers about processes if these incidents occur

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Don’t …

• Wait until there is a serious problem to start building a culture of kindness

• Blame the victim — no one deserves to be bullied

• Confront 4-H’ers about these issues in front of other 4-H’ers

• Get hung up on the details of finger-pointing — the bullying behavior must stop.

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Research shows

If one bystander says, “Stop it,” 50 percent of the time the bullying ends in 10 seconds or less.

If two or more people speak up, the bullying usually stops in 10 seconds or less.

“Bullying is a Relationship Problem” -Dr. Wendy Craig, Queens University

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Show them how

Adults are the role models here. If you are not pro-active in addressing negative behaviors, your 4-H’ers will not be either.

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Ways to prepare 4-H’ers to act

• Role play• Brainstorm strategies• Determine which adults they are most

comfortable talking to• Think of non-confrontational ways to

intervene• Recognize the strengths youth bring to the

situation

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Can 4-H’ers answer these?

• What can you do to help?• Whom should you ask for help?• What could you do if this happens again?• What should you do

after you have seen

something?

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Help 4-H’ers Keep Perspective

• Remind youth that there are many people in their lives who care about them.

• Use exercises and discussions to build social problem-solving skills

• Encourage 4-H’ers to consider whose opinions really matter

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Ways of Working with 4-H Youth

• Weave caring and respect through 4-H activities

and curriculum

• Have a “4-H Participation Expectations” meeting

with 4-Hers, volunteers and caregivers

• Encourage service learning