If You Were If You Were If You Were If You Were

Born To Hang, Born To Hang, Born To Hang, Born To Hang,

You Will Never You Will Never You Will Never You Will Never

DrownDrownDrownDrown

If You Were Born To

Hang, You Will Never Drown

A Collection of Short Stories

by Bud Cooley

Copyright, 2010 by Bud Cooley

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the Copyright owner.

ISBN: 978-0-578-06959-3

I would like to dedicate this book to everyone who has

had to face cancer. All donations for this book will

be donated to the Cancer Society.

Acknowledgment I would like to thank all of

my friends who made these stories possible.

I would also like thank Tammy Pittman for editing my mistakes and trying to figure out my mountain man language.

I would especially like to thank my wife Nancy for putting up with all of my craziness throughout all these years.

A Personal Recommendation We all need to laugh once in

awhile to make it through the day. I know that there are many people who have much tougher days to get thru then others, so that is why I am highly recommending you take time to read this book of short stories by a very special friend of mine.

I have only just recently met Bud and his wife Nancy but I feel like I have known them for years. Bud asked me to help edit his book and even though I warned him that I am far from being an English major, he seemed to think that the two of us could make it work. Well, between googling his words, getting the old dictionary out, and a few phone calls to Bud, I managed to get some of the words verified for spelling. Now there are a few that we all will just have to take Buds word on.

I hope that by reading this book, you will discover the silliness in yourself and learn to just let it all out and laugh until you bring on the happy tears.

Tammy Pittman

Contents Introduction Trading Beaver The City License Captain Toothless Two Asses 6 Wheel Bath Tub Buffalo Stampede The Balky Mule Fly like an Eagle Golden Years Coon Hunting Lions, Snakes, & Sister-in-Laws Bobcat and Nancy Hurricane on the Tommylyn Hippie Camp Passin’ the Bottle European Venison Designer Traps Sweat Lodge Leatherwood Creek – Gods Place Chickory Coffee Up a Sapling in Leatherwood Life Saving Award

Contents Continue: The Homosapiens The Attack of the Killer Bees The First Bear Hunt The Bear That Came To Town Poem by Chester Webster Rimfire Roy on a Sugar High The Powwow Dad’s Stories

1

Introduction

I don’t know why I am writing this as it will probably cause more headaches then its worth. But on the other hand, it might cause a few laughs at my lack of knowledge of the English language. I write the way I talk, so there will be a few cuss words, some words that are not found in any dictionary and some words that are not known to man. Everything written is more or less the truth, but as with all stories, it has been told around so many camp fires that there have been some things added and some taken away. Nothing has been written to offend anyone, but just the same, there will be a few of my thin skinned friends that will get