ielts writing

5/25/2018 Ielts Writing

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Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against common

Band 9 answer childhood diseases?

Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

You should write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this tas.

model answer:

The issue of whether we should force parents to immunise their children against

common diseases is, in my opinion, a social rather than a medical question. Since

we are free to choose what we expose our bodies to in the way of food, drink, or

religion for that matter, why should the question of medical 'treatment' be any

different?

Medical researchers and goernments are primarily interested in oerall statistics

and trends and in money!saing schemes which fail to take into consideration the

indiidual's concerns and rights. "hile immunisation against diseases such as

tetanus and whooping cough may be effectie, little information is released about

the harmful effects of accinations which can sometimes result in stunted growth or

een death.

The body is designed to resist disease and to create its own natural immunity

through contact with that disease. So when children are gien artificial immunity,

we create a ulnerable society which is entirely dependent on immunisation. #n the

eent that mass immunisation programmes were to cease, the society as a whole

would be more at risk than eer before.

#n addition there is the issue of the rights of the indiidual. $s members of a

society, why should we be obliged to sub%ect our children to this potentially harmful

practice? Some people may also be against immunisation on religious grounds and

their needs must also be considered.

&or these reasons # feel strongly that immunisation programmes should not be

obligatory and that the indiidual should hae the right to choose whether or not to

participate.


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Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against childhood

diseases?

Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

You should write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this tas.

model answer:

Some people argue that the state does not hae the right to make parents

immunise their children. oweer, # feel the question is not whether they should

immunise but whether, as members of society, they hae the right not to.

(reentatie medicine has proed to be the most effectie way of reducing the

incidence of fatal childhood diseases. $s a result of the widespread practice of

immunising young children in our society, many lies hae been saed and the

diseases hae been reduced to almost )ero.

#n preious centuries children died from ordinary illnesses such as influen)a and

tuberculosis and because few people had immunity, the diseases spread easily.

*iseases such as dysentery were the result of poor hygiene but these hae long

been eradicated since the arrial of good sanitation and clean water. +obody would

suggest that we should reerse this good practice now because dysentery has been

wiped out.

Serious diseases such as polio and smallpox hae also been eradicated through

national immunisation programmes. #n consequence, children not immunised are

far less at risk in this disease!free society than they would otherwise be. (arents

choosing not to immunise are relying on the fact that the diseases hae already

been eradicated. #f the number of parents choosing not to immunise increased,

there would be a similar increase in the risk of the diseases returning.

#mmunisation is not an issue like seatbelts which affects only the indiidual. $

decision not to immunise will hae widespread repercussions for the whole of

society and for this reason, # do not beliee that indiiduals hae the right to stand

aside. #n my opinion immunisation should be obligatory.


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The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Brick manufacturing

model answer:

The process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry can be outlined in seven consecutive steps.

First the raw material, clay, which was ust below the surface of soil in certain clay!rich areas has to be dug up by a digger.

Then the lumps of clay are placed on a metal grid in order to break up the big chunks of clay into much smaller areas, which fall through the metal grid onto a roller,

whose motion further segregates the bits of clay. "and and water are added to make a homogenous mi#ture, which is then either formed in moulds or cut into brick!

shaped pieces by means of a wire cutter.

Those fresh bricks are then kept in a drying oven for at least $% and a ma#imum of %& hours, several do'en if not hundreds of bricks at a time. The dried bricks are

then transferred to a so!called kiln, another type of high temperature oven. First they are kept at a moderate temperature of $00( ) 1*00(. This process is followed by

cooling down the finished bricks for %& to +$ hours in a cooling chamber.

nce the bricks have cooled down and have become hard, they get packaged and delivered to their final destination, be it a building site or storage.

-$1+ words


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Band 9This response fully satisfies the re/uirements of the task. ll key features of each stage of the process are appropriately and accurately presented. n e#cellent

overview is given at the beginning of the response and this skilfully incorporates part of the rubric, changing the grammatical function, to give a brief summary of thewhole process. The message is very easy to read with seamless cohesion that attracts no attention. aragraphing, linking and referencing are all skilfully managed. The

language used is very fluent and sophisticated. wide range of vocabulary and structures are used with full fle#ibility and accuracy. nly rare minor

2slips3 can be found and these do not detract from the high rating.

This script is a good e#ample of a 4and performance.

6ou should spend about $0 minutes on this task.

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 198 and the year !1.

Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words

model answer7

The bar chart shows the percentage of men in senior development position in three companies from 1&0 to $010.

While more men were in senior positions at pple than other two companies in 1&0 at 158, the trend was fairly erratic with a $8 drop to 1*8 in 1&5, followed by

a rise of 18 five years later. 9n 15, men held +8 more top development obs than in 10. fter a slight drop back to 18 in $000, by $010 $58 of top posts were

filled by men.

4y contrast, at 94: men fared much better. 9n 1&0, $8 of senior posts were occupied by men with no change five years on. 4y 10, the figure had increased to

1*8, doubling to $; per cent in 15. Five years af terwards, there was a ;8 increase in male senior development obs with a near twofold ump in $010 to stand at

;*8, the highest for the three companies.

The situation was less remarkable at :icrosoft than the other two f irms e#cept for the year $010. 9n 1&0, the percentage of senior posts held by men was &8

climbing at the rate of $8 in each subse/uent period until $000, after which it leapt to %58. From the data, it is clear that men dominated senior posts at 94: by $010.


The graph below presents the employment patterns in the "S# between 19$ and !1.

"ummarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


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model answer7

9n 1*0, +58 of the labour force in the


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model answer7

The bar chart describes the number of houses built in two neighboring cities, >erby and ?ottingham, 4etween $000 and $00.

verall, the number of houses that were erected in >erby e#ceeded upwards the /uantity constructed in ?ottingham. The trend for the former was decidedly upwards,with >erby e#periencing a steady rise f rom %0 new houses in the first year, to ust under 1$0 during the $00*. ver the ne#t % years of decade, new houses

construction in >erby remained constant at ust under 1$0. This is in sharp contrast to the last two years when the number of houses that went up in >erby leapt, first

to $&0 and then to *50 houses.

=ouses building in ?ottingham, by comparison, was much more erratic. 9n the first two years of the decade, more houses were erected in ?ottingham than in >erby.

9n $00$, however, construction declined to only $0. ver the ne#t three years, houses numbers rose steadily, only to drop practically to 'ero in $00;. There was then a

dramatic surge in $00+ with over $00 houses being built. While in $00& saw house building in ?ottingham plummeting to only 10, in $00 the number of new houses

rocketed to $+0, a rise of more than $;00 8 on the previous year.


Summarise the information by selecting and reporting description of the correlation of the table that follow.

Write at least 150 words.

lcohol!@elated >eaths $005 beers consumption per

capita, $00$ -litresTotal :ale Female

Aithuania 1$5,000 11$,000 1*,000 1

9reland 5&$,000 %1*,000 1;,000 10%

('ech @epublic 1,*;,000 00,000 %;,000 1*$

(anada 5&0,000 505,000 +5,000 &;

Bstonia *&*,000 **$,000 51,000 &Cermany 1,1&5,000 &;,000 $00,000 10+

ustria 1*,000 +&*,000 1*0,000 10;

model answer7

There is a clear correlation between the litres of beer consumed per capita and number of alcohol related deaths. The table shows that the greatest beer consumption in

$00$ was to be found in ('ech @epublic, Cermany and ustria, and that each of these regions also had by far the largest litres of alcohol related deaths in $005. ('ech

@epublic, with the greatest beer consumption per litre, namely over hundred and thirty for $00$, also e#perienced well over one million litres alcohol!related deaths by


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$005. The region with the second highest beer consumption was Cermany, with nearly 10+ litres, and it also recorded the second highest number of alcohol!related

deaths, namely 1.1&5 million.

9n all regions e#cept (anada it can be seen that the higher beer consumption, the higher the alcohol!related mortality rate. 9t is interesting that in (anada, with the

lowest level of beer consumption, at &; per capita, the mortality rate was the high as in 9reland, namely 0.5& million, although in the latter the consumption level was

high. (learly other health or economic factors must be involved. 9t is also interesting to note that in each case the number of female death was significantly lower than

that of males, which seems to be a reflection of the fact that in general far fewer women than men drink.

The line graph shows &aris 'etro station passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons whererelevant.


model answer7

The line!graph indicates the number of people using a metro station in aris over a given day of year.

The number of passengers rises sharply in the morning reaching a peak of %00 at & am. fter the morning peak there is a steady drop to *00 at am and less than $00

at 10 am. 4etween 10 am and 11 am there is a slight increase. The number plateaus ust below *00 between 1$ noon and $ pm. 9n the afternoon, there is a decline in

the number of citi'ens using the station to ust &0 at % pm. The evening brings a huge increase from $00 at 5 pm to almost %00 at ; pm. The number of passengers

tapers off slightly after ; pm, but falls /uickly to 1$0 by & pm. f ter a small rise at pm, the number tails off to 1$0 at 10 pm.

ll in all, the time series show that the greatest number of passengers gather in the station early in the morning and also early in the evening.

-1+& words

The line graph shows &aris 'etro station passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where

relevant.



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model answer7

The line!graph indicates the number of people using a metro station in aris over a given day of year.

The number of passengers rises sharply in the morning reaching a peak of %00 at & am. fter the morning peak there is a steady drop to *00 at am and less than $00

at 10 am. 4etween 10 am and 11 am there is a slight increase. The number plateaus ust below *00 between 1$ noon and $ pm. 9n the afternoon, there is a decline in

the number of citi'ens using the station to ust &0 at % pm. The evening brings a huge increase from $00 at 5 pm to almost %00 at ; pm. The number of passengers

tapers off slightly after ; pm, but falls /uickly to 1$0 by & pm. f ter a small rise at pm, the number tails off to 1$0 at 10 pm.

ll in all, the time series show that the greatest number of passengers gather in the station early in the morning and also early in the evening.

-1+& words

(s freedom of speech necessary in a free society)Cive reasons for your answer and include any relevant e#amples from your own knowledge or e#perience.

model answer7

9n the last decade, there has been considerable debate over the role of free speech in a free society. "ome obect to absolute freedom of speech. thers advocate free

speech, arguing that the freedom of speech is the single most important political right of citi'ens in a civili'ed society. Whilst 9 believe that there are strong arguments

on both sides, 9 would suggest that f reedom of speech should be protected in all but e#treme circumstances.

The freedom of speech is important at all levels in a society. 6et it is most important for government. government which does not know what the people feel and

think is in a dangerous position. This is how the communist regimes of Bastern Burope were toppled in the 1&0s. The same is happening again in other regions of the

world today. The governments that mu''le free speech run a risk of pushing their people to behave destructively or to rebel.

Furthermore, without free speech no political action is possible and no resistance to inustice and oppression is possible. Without free speech elections would have no

meaning at all. olicies of contestants become known to the public and become responsive to public opinion only by virtue of free speech. 4etween elections the

freely e#pressed opinions of citi'ens help restrain oppressive rule. Without this freedom it is futile to e#pect political f reedom or conse/uently economic freedom.

9n conclusion, 9 believe that the importance of free speech as a basic and valuable characteristic of a free society cannot be underestimated. 9t may be challenging for

society to allow differences of opinion out into the openD however, the conse/uences of restricting f ree speech are likely to be more damaging in the longer term.

-$&5 words


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Test tip*


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9n the current society, it is universally believed that the internet has been gaining its popularity at an ama'ing rate. "ome people assert that the internet bring us a lot of

benefits while many others argue that its drawbacks should not be ignored. 9t is /uite understandable that people from different backgrounds put different

interpretations on the same issue.

Those who favor that the internet has many advantages give their reasons as follows. 9n the first place, it is obvious that the internet brings us great convenience and

efficiency. For e#ample, we can send Bmails to our friends in other countries in a few minutes while sending a traditional letter takes us at least a week and costs

much. 9n the second place, it is a well!known fact that we can make friends with people from all parts of world. pparently, 9t overcomes the geographical barriers

and makes the world smaller. Furthermore, it is true that the internet accelerates the flow of information and spreads education to all corners of the globe. 9n other

words, we can have easy and /uick access to the latest information worldwide.

n the other hand, some other people hold a different attitude, argue that the internet has many weaknesses. For one thing, it seems that it can easily lead to

psychological problems. For instance, an internet!addicted person tends to be isolated, self!centered and unsociable. For another, it is obvious that there is a sharp rise

in the number of cyber crimes. :ore and more financial crimes such as money laundering are committed via the internet. 9n addition, it also has negative impacts on

young people because there are a lot of obscene and violent contents on line.

There is probably a little bit of truth in both arguments. For my part, 9 completely agree with the latter view that the internet has more disadvantages than advantages.

9t gives rise to people3s mental problem. 9t results in various computer crimes. 9t is harmful to the growth of the youth. Therefore, something should be done as soon as

possible to protect people from negative effects of the internet.

-*5$ words

#s mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globaliation. Some

people fear that globaliation will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what e+tent do you agree or disagree with this statement)

6ou should write at least $50 words.

model answer7

Clobalisation has become integrated through the global network of trade, transportation, communication and immigration. 9t is feared by many to eventually bring an

end to cultural identity. =owever, 9 am convinced that not only will globali'ation help retain and improve local cultures, but it also will strengthen cultural bonds

between distant communities.

First of all, people can realise how they are different from others in distant lands, which may lead to their interest in learning about other cultures. This means every

culture will have to preserve and present its uni/ue features such as local cuisine or craftsmanship in order to maintain foreign interest in itself and have something to

offer in competition with other communities. s a result, a sense of cultural identity can be reinforced ) even rekindled and restored where it has already been lost.

"econdly, cultures in different parts of the world familiarise themselves with the ceremonies, food and clothes of other people, it is highly likely that they will begin to

improve on their own, thus developing more efficient ways of life while retaining their original characteristics.

Finally, although some people might think that the aforementioned ItradeJ of cultural features can doom the uni/ue identity of a culture, they need to consider that

this will not necessarily result in local people abolishing their culture and fully embracing another. 9nstead, the communication and e#change involved in globalisation

can improve understanding and tolerance in the international community, which certainly can help with the conservation of older cultures and their sense of identity.

9n conclusion, 9 think if the positive aspects of globalisation are considered and stressed, it is not likely to pose any threats to the cultural identity of local communities

and will instead contribute to it in a variety of ways.

-$* words

&roblems with environmental pollution have become so serious that many countries are trying to solve these problems.

Suggest possible solutions and give your own opinion.

Cive reasons for your answer and include any relevant e#amples from your own knowledge or e#perience.

Write at least $50 words.


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model answer7

Bnvironmental pollution has become a serious problem all over the world. =owever, we do not usually try to improve our environment. We always use chemical

detergents and fertili'er. lso forests have been fatally damaged by deforestation. "ome researchers say that if we do not stop devastating the environment, the Barth

will be catastrophic 100 years later. To prevent this drastic situation, this essay will suggest what we should do and how the government should solve the problems.

We should use eco!friendly products such as natural detergents or manure rather than using chemical products.


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rganising you answer

2?ow you need to make a plan for your answer. =ere is an e#ample.

(ntroduction

B#pand the summary to re!phrase the /uestion in your own words @ start

with a clear statement of your own about the policy."seful e+pressions*

The /uestion of whether or not H9 feel that language is H

&aragraph 1

B#pand the first point on the 2For3 side about the link between language and culture. 4alance it

with a counter argument on the 2gainst3 side."seful e+pressions*"ome people think H

9t can be argued that H

=owever, H

&aragraph !

B#press an opinion on having a national language. Cive your own view. :ake it clear to the

reader where you stand or e#press an understanding of both points of view."seful e+pressions*While H, there may be an argument in favour of H

&aragraph $

9nclude another point of your own based on your idea above."seful e+pressions*9 tend to think that H

Cenerally speaking, H

3onclusion

Bnd with a clear statement on how you feel about the issue @ summarise the two main sides ofthe argument."seful e+pressions*

To sum up H

o you agree H if so, howmuchK3 9t invites you to agree and disagree.

!earning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures thin and see world. "he teachingof a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools."o what extent do you agree or disagree with this

view?


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5eneral Training /riting Task 1* (ntroduction and Tone

9n Ceneral Training Writing Task 1 you will have to write a letter in response to a given task.

The way you begin the first paragraph and the style you use will depend on7

The overall purpose of the letter

The tone of the message you want to get across

6our relationship to the person receiving the letter.

Test tip* lways bear in mind the reason you are writing your letter and who will read it. 6ou

will lose marks if you use the wrong tone.

1 6ook at these opening sentences. 3an you tell whether the writer knows the person receiving the letter) /hat is the purpose of these letters)

7now the reader) &urpose of the letter

aThanks so much for your letter and the lovely photos ofthe wedding, which are absolutely marvelous.

yesTo e#press thanksto a friend

b

9 am a first!year student in the Faculty of "cience.9 am

writing to ask permission to transfer from 4iochemistry

to 4iology H

c

93m writing to thank you for your hospitality on

"aturday. 9t was very kind of you to give us dinner eventhough we arrived une#pectedly.


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d

9 am a resident at Flat %, %* Westbridge @oad, ?ewport.

9 would like to report that a green Toyota van has been

abandoned outside our block of flatsH

e

Following our telephone conversation, this is to confirm

that, unfortunately, 9 will be unable to attend the

meeting on *rd :arch.

fn 15th :arch, 9 purchased a new car through yourerth showroom. "ince then 9 have e#perienced a series

of difficulties which 9 wish to outline H

! /hich salutations and endings would you use with paragraphs af in e+ercise 1)

Salutation usage sign off with

>ear "ir,>ear "irs,

ear :r Loe,

>ear :s ark,

>ear >r 6ong,


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>ear @ose,

>ear 6oko,


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and -ite similar to each other. b/aharan #frica! the #rab tates and oth #sia had rates ofappro*imately '(! 21( and (.

Female illiteracy was mch higher relatively in each area e*cept "atin #merica$Caribbean whereit was only slightly higher. The lowest rates for female illiteracy were again Developed Contries!"atin #merica$Caribbean and %ast #sia$&ceania with rates of appro*imately 2(! '2( and 20(.

#gain the rates for the ne*t three areas were mch higher and -ite similar to each other. b/aharan #frica! the #rab tates and oth #sia had rates of appro*imately ,(! 32( and 36(.

This ends my report.

)'6, words+ Estimated IELTS Writing Band 9

Commentar on the abo!e answer.

This letter was written by an I%"T e*aminer to give an e*ample of a good answer. 4leaseremember that there are other ways of approaching this -estion that are 5st as good.

The #cademic Task ' riting is marked in areas. "et7s look at these.

Task "#$fi$ment

This mark grades yo basically on whether yo have answered the -estion or not. To answerthis -estion correctly the e*aminer looks to see whether a report has been written which whollydescribes the bar chart with appropriate! accrate detail. 8ecase there is not a lot ofinformation on the bar chart! an appropriate amont of detail here wold be all the figres forall the areas for males and females. "ooking above we see a report has been prodced and thatall the detail re-ired is there and it is all accrate. The word limit has also been achieved. This

wold mean a good task flfilment band.

Cohesion and Coherence

These two are interrelated which is why they are done together. Cohesion is how yor writingfits together. Does yor writing with its ideas and content flow logically9 Coherence is how yoare making yorself nderstood and whether the reader of yor writing nderstands what yoare saying. To start with the strctre helps cohesion. There is a small introdctory paragraphsaying what the report is abot and there is a short closing sentence to finish the report. In

between there are 2 paragraphs! one for male illiteracy and the second for female illiteracy. Thisis a good approach to describing this bar chart. The report also has good cohesion lingistically.It is sometimes difficlt when writing these types of report with lots of nmerical detail to makesre that the reader always nderstands which detail refers to which relevant item. :ere the

writer only describes areas at a time and ses respecti!e$ to make clear the order. Thecoherence in the report is also very good. The reader notices bad coherence when he has to stop

becase he cannot nderstand what has been written for any reason. This report can be readstraight throgh withot stopping. The sentences are short and clear and none of theinformation is mddled or disorganised. The good grammar! word choices! strctre andpnctation all help to giving the report good coherence. This report wold get a very goodcohesion and coherence band.


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%ocab#$ar and Sentence Str#ct#re

ith ;ocablary the e*aminer looks at the range of words sed and whether they are sed in theright place and at the right time. ith entence trctre! the e*aminer looks at the grammar.The word choices in this report are good. #ll the vocablary is clear! sed in the right way andspelled correctly. The grammar is also good. #ll the verb forms are accrate and all the other

grammar is correctly sed. The report wold get a very good ;ocablary and entence trctreband.

Task &

hat yong people shold stdy at school has long been the sb5ect of intense debate and this isa -estion that certainly does not have one correct answer.

e need to provide yong people the best possible chance of doing well at school. In traditionalcrriclm there is a wide variety of sb5ects with a mi* of academic and non/academic sb5ects.In this way a yong person is formed with a ronded edcation. t academically minded and wold benefit more from a more vocationally basededcation. Forcing academic stdies onto them wold lead to failre and the stdent leavingschool too early. Therefore I agree that althogh a wholly academic crriclm wold sit and

benefit some yong people! I believe that for most stdents non/academic sb5ects areimportant inclsions still in today>s syllabses.

)2, words+ Estimated IELTS Writing Band 9

This essay was written by an I%"T e*aminer to give an e*ample of a good answer. 4leaseremember that there are other ways of approaching this -estion that are 5st as good.

The #cademic Task 2 riting is marked in areas. "et7s look at these.

'rg#ments( Ideas and E!idence

This band grades the essay on its content! how it strctres its ideas and backs p the ideas withe*amples. hen yo look at the above essay! yo are first strck by how the it is set ot with theparagraphs. Firstly there is a short introdction. Then there are 2 paragraphs that provide theideas and evidence on both sides of the -estion of the essay with the writer starting to ptforward his point of view. Finally there is a conclsion where the -estion is answered by the

writer with his point of view. The writer e*amines both sides of the argment and shows that itis not an isse that is black or white. The minimm word limit of 230 words has also been


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passed so that is not a problem. #ll these things wold lead to a good band for #rgments! Ideasand %vidence.

Comm#nicati!e )#a$it

This mark grades the candidate on how easily the reader nderstands the essay. This dependson accracy in grammar! pnctation and vocablary! as bad grammar! pnctation and

vocablary will case a breakdown in commnication. &ther things affecting commnicationwold be strctre! linking words! prepositions and agreements. The paragraphing is the firstthing that helps the commnicative -ality. #s said above the paragraphing is very good. Itsplits the essay p into easy/to/read chnks and separates the ideas of the essay into thesechnks. The grammar! pnctation and vocablary are all very good and all the linking words!prepositions and agreements are all correctly sed. The Commnicative ?ality in this essaytherefore is very good.


ith ;ocablary the e*aminer looks at the range of words sed and whether they are sed in theright place and at the right time. ith entence trctre! the e*aminer looks at the grammar.

#s pointed ot in the section above! the ;ocablary and entence trctre are very good. #llword sage is correctly sed and spelt correctly. The grammar is all error free and thepnctation is good. The ;ocablary and entence trctre band wold be very good.


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'cademic Writing *ractice Test &

Task 1

&n graph on '11@ '' million dollar is sell on intrnet! on '11, is small ris to'6 million dollar! on'111 is mor ris to '1 million dollar! on 2000 rise is mor smal 22 million dollar. The 200' 2'million dollar and 2002 2 million dollar. '11@ to 200 is ris ' million dollar. &n chart is parts most big is englnd ,'( books boght on internet! ne*t scotland '0( ne*t wales ,(! last isnorthern ireland '(. This mean that mor money is spend in england on books on intrnet.

)12 words+ Estimated IELTS Writing Band +

IELTS E,aminer Commentar

This report was written by an Indian lady on an I%"T preparation corse.

The #cademic Task ' riting is marked in areas. "et7s look at these.

Task "#$fi$ment

This mark grades yo basically on whether yo have answered the -estion or not. To answerthis -estion correctly the e*aminer looks to see whether a report has been written which whollydescribes the chart with appropriate! accrate detail. The first thing that one notices is that thereport is considerably nder length. 8y not writing the re-ired '30 words the writer is notanswering the -estion and so is penalised nder Task Flfilment. If fewer than '30 words areprodced then only a ma*imm band of 3 )less than 3 can also be given+ can be awarded forTask Flfilment. #part from that the writer has made an attempt to describe the two charts.Anfortnately some of the detail that is inclded is inaccrate. The 200' figre from the linegraph is wrong and the writer has also mi*ed p two of the sections of the pie chartB cotland is-oted at '0( and ales at ,(. The financial detail given in the report is also all given in dollars

while the graph gives the detail in ponds sterling. 8ecase of all these errors this report cannotget a very good Task Flfilment band.

Cohesion and Coherence

These two are interrelated which is why they are done together. Cohesion is how yor writingfits together. Does yor writing with its ideas and content flow logically9 Coherence is how yoare making yorself nderstood and whether the reader of yor writing nderstands what yoare saying. Cohesion isn7t too bad in the report. There is so little writing that there is not mchto 5oin together. The writing consists of short sentences that are not elegantly pt together.There aren7t many cohesion errors bt there is little style in the writing. The coherence is very

problematic. The lack of pnctation allows the sentences to rn into each other and it isdifficlt for the reader to know when one sentence ends and the ne*t begins. This with the biggrammar and spelling errors make it very difficlt to nderstand and read -ickly. This report

wold get a poor Cohesion and Coherence band.



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ith ;ocablary the e*aminer looks at the range of words sed and whether they are sed in theright place and at the right time. ith entence trctre! the e*aminer looks at the grammar.The vocablary in the report is very limited in range bt there are no very bad word choices. Thegrammar in this report is terrible. ost of the verb forms are inaccrate! there are inaccrateprepositions! plrals are missing! articles are missing! the verb to be is often missing andcomparatives and sperlatives are inaccrate. The problem with the pnctation is that there

seem to be commas instead of fll stops in many places. The ;ocablary


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and entence trctre band wold be very poor for this report.

The above report is sefl as an illstration of how a bad report is written. 8elow yo will find agood version written by an I%"T e*aminer answering the same -estion. 4lease remember thatthere are other ways of approaching this -estion that are 5st as good.

In this report I am going to describe 2 charts.

The first is a line graph that records the amont of money )in ponds sterling+ spent on bookson the internet in the A from '11@ to 2002. In '11@ E'' million were spent. This rises by E3million by '11,. The increase in money spent then rises less rapidly throgh '111 )E'1 million+!2000 )E22 million+ and 200' )E2 million+ ntil 2002 when E2 million were spent. This givesa total increase from '11@ to 2002 of E' million.

The second is a pie chart that shows the relative percentages of books boght on the internet inthe A individal contries. %ngland is where by the far the most books are boght with ,'( ofthe market. ales comes ne*t with '0( closely followed by cotland with ,(.


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'rg#ments( Ideas and E!idence

This band grades the essay on its content! how it strctres its ideas and backs p the ideas withe*amples. The strctre with the one big paragraph and short conclsion means this is not setot as a proper essay shold be. The content thogh is mainly directed at the -estion and hase*amples to back p the ideas. In the conclsion the writer draws on his essay to give hisopinion and flly answers the -estion. The band for #rgments! Ideas and %vidence will be-ite good thogh the strctre does spoil it a bit.

Comm#nicati!e )#a$it

This mark grades the candidate on how easily the reader nderstands the essay. This dependson accracy in strctre! grammar! pnctation and vocablary! as bad grammar! pnctationand vocablary will case a breakdown in commnication. The Commnicative ?ality here isnot that good. The strctre does not help! with most of the writing being groped in oneparagraph. In addition to this the grammar and spelling are all -ite poor and this makes

reading the essay not as easy as it shold be. ome of the sentences! e*pressions and vocablaryare a bit awkward too. This wold lead to a middling Commnicative ?ality band.


ith ;ocablary the e*aminer looks at the range of words sed and whether they are sed in theright place and at the right time. ith entence trctre! the e*aminer looks at the grammar.

#s stated above the ;ocablary and entence trctre are -ite weak. The actal vocablarychoices are not too bad bt a lot of the spelling is not very good )medicine disease co$eret#berco$e e,pinsi!e affects mon etc.+. There are actal vocablary mistakes as wellthogh )more of mone Inde indefendab$e+. ith grammar the article se is often falty

)Last 15/ ear the medicine+! plrals are sometimes wrong )co#ntrs compans otherki$$er etc.+ and verbs are at times wrong in tense choice and form ) the medicine make are#se can be find are die The are sti$$ make etc.0. ome negatives are wronglye*pressed )ow o# no hear it is no e,pensi!e+. There are other grammar weaknessesBpronons )there affects there prod#cts there b#siness interests+! comparatives)more poor co#ntrs more rich co#ntrs+! prepositions )go to there with a morecheap price+! the infinitive of prpose )for fight for b#+ and ad5ectives$adverbs )andeasi$ to find this diseases and se$$ i$ega$+. ome of the errors seem to come from the

writer7s first langage. There is thogh some good grammar in the essay and a lot of thevocablary is well chosen. :owever there are really too many errors to get a good band for;ocablary and entence trctre.

ielts writing

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