i love the knightlife

I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFE

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Scene 1: The wedding

(everyone on stage except Morgan Le Fey)

Lady Clare: Good morning, Sir Lancelot. You are looking very handsome today.

Sir Lancelot: Thank you, my lady. I am the best man of the king.

Lady Clare: That’s such an honour!

Lady Uma: Why are you his best man?

Sir Lancelot: That’s a long story… Once upon a time…

Sir Gawain: psss psss.. Are you crazy ladies?

Lady Clare, Uma: Why?

Sir Gallahad: When Sir Lancelot tells a story, he can speak for a hundred years.

Ladies: We didn’t know. We are so sorry…

Merlin: Pssss… Silence!!! This is a wedding!

King Arthur: Why is my bride not here? (annoyed)

Merlin: She’s just called (showing the mobile) She has a problem with the traffic.

King Arthur: Traffic?.... The car has not been invented … (everybody looks angrily to

Merlin)

Merlin: I’m sorry I didn’t have any time!!!. I am busy with my Harry Potter books.

Page: (horn blowing) Attention, everyone, Lady Guinevere and her ladies of honour.

Song #1: Chappel of LoveLady Guinevere and the Ladies of Honour

Woah! Spring is here and the sky is so very blue.

Wo-o-o-oah, birds all sing as if they knew,

today's the day we'll say, "I do,"

and we'll never be lonely anymore.

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEBecause we're goin' to the chapel

and we're gonna get married,

goin' to the chapel


gee, I really love you


goin' to the chapel of love.

Goin' to the chapel and we're, oh, gonna get married,

goin', goin' to the chapel, baby; we're gonna get married, married,

oh, gee, I really love you, c'mon baby,

we're gonna get married, married,

goin' to the chapel of love.

Oooh, a one more time,

we're goin' to the chapel of love.

C'mon, c'mon and let me hear it,

goin' to the chapel of love, love, love.

shooby doo-whop, wa da

King Arthur: Thanks God!. Let the ceremony begin!

Merlin: Dearly beloved we are here to witness the wedding of King Arthur of the

Britons and blah blah blah blah with Lady Guinevere of blah blah blah blah. ….

Page: (horn blowing) Presenting Lady Morgana Le Fey evil half-sister of King Arthur.

(people chatting)

Lady Morgana: Don’t worry. I am here to give my brother a wedding present. (She

hands an envelope to Lady Guinevere and King Arthur). It’s not much, just a little

something from Witches’r’us.

Lady Guinevere: It’s a curse voucher!!!

Sir Gawain: You mean a Gift Voucher!!!

Lady Guinevere: No, it says curse (showing it to the public)

Lady Gueller: That’s bad.

Lady Marlee: Yes, it means she did not want to buy a present

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFELady Elaine: Or even something worse it can be something bad like a curse (everyone

looks at her making the finger movement showing that she is crazy)

Lady Elisabeth: (looking to the audience) This is Lady Elaine… She is a little bit nuts.

King Arthur: So what is it then this time, Morgana? A plague of frogs?, a dog with two

heads?....

Morgana: No, No. No more music, singing and dancing for the next hundred of years.

Everyone: What¿?

Morgana: Yes, no more music (laughing out loud)

Ladies: She is sooooooooooo Evil

Lords, Merlin & the King: She is soooooooo crazy

Morgana: Stop it or it will be two hundred years.

Lady Elaine: She is soooo…

Everyone (except Lady Elaine & Morgana): SSSSSSSSSSSSSShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

stop it!!!

King Arthur: Do something Merlin!

Merlin: I can’t. I lost my wizard license.

Sir Lancelot: What do you mean?

Sir Gallahad: You are the wizard!

Merlin: Yes, but my last spell destroyed a castle and I can’t do magic anymore

Morgana: HAHAHAHAHAHA there is nothing you can do. Unless…..

Everyone: Unless…????

Morgana: You bring me 3 compact discs.

Lady Elisabeth: 3 Compact Discs?. What is that?

Page: 3 Cds

Lady Elisabeth: Aaaah!!!

Lady Jill: But the Cd has not been invented yet…

Sir Lancelot: Yes, Merlin has. He has given me the last one from Lady Gaga.

Lady Clare: Can I have a copy please?...

Lady Uma: Me too?

Sir Gawain.: I want one too…

Messenger: I already have it in my Ipod

Page: In your Ipod?. You must be joking…. I want to buy one but it costs 3 cows and

two ducks… it’s two expensive and….

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEKing Arthur: Silence everyone. Morgana, you must leave my castle. I don’t want you

here

Morgana: Ok, This party is boring. Don’t forget, find the three Cd’s or there is no more

music for you Arthur. You only have seven days to find them. Hahahahahahahah!

(laughing out loud she disappears).

Lady Guinevere: What are we going to do now, sweetheart? (crying)

King Arthur: Don’t worry Guini. I am sure Morgana will fail.

Scene 2: at the round table

Merlin: Don’t worry your Majesty. We will find the Cds and you will marry Lady

Guinevere.

King Arthur: I hope so. Messenger… Messenger where are you?

Messenger: Here I am, your Majesty. (running to him)

King Arthur: Where are all the sirs?

Messenger: I am sorry my king but they are all on holidays: Eurodisney, Ibiza,

Maspalomas…

Sir Lancelot: I am here my king (coming on stage)

Sir Gawain: I am here too

Sir Gallahad: Me too, my king.

King Arthur: Have you got a plan to find the Cds?

Sir Lancelot: Yes, I have, my king.

Sir Gawain: We will go to the black mountain

Sir Gallahad: And we will ask the evil witch of the north

Merlin: She is a very bad woman

Sir Lancelot, Gawain, Gallahad: We fear no one.

Sir Gallahad: Except Los Lunis

Sir Lancelot: Yes, they are ugly.

Messenger: Can I go too, please?. This is better than watching Rescue me Deluxe

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEKing Arthur: All right messenger. Ok, my brave sirs. Don’t waste time any more.

Let’s sing our battle song

Song #2: When the going gets tough (the tough get going)King Arthur, Merlin & the Sirs of the Round Table including the messenger

When the going gets toughThe tough get going, tough, tough, huh, huh, huhWhen the going gets tough, the tough get ready

Yeah, ooooh, du da do da

I got something to tell youI got something to say

I'm gonna put this dream in motionNever let nothing stand in my way

Woooh

Darlin', I'll climb any mountainDarlin', I'll do anything

Ooh, can I touch you (can I touch you)And do the things that lovers do

Ooh, wanna hold you (wanna hold you)I gotta get it through to you, oooh

When the going gets toughThe tough get going

When the going gets roughThe tough get rough

Hey, hey, hey, hey, heyOoooh baby

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Darlin', I'll climb any mountainDarlin', I'll swim any sea

Darlin', I'll reach for the heavenDarlin', with you lovin' me

Oooh (oooh)

Oooh, can I touch you (can I touch you)And do the things that lovers do (can I touch you)

Oooh, wanna hold you (wanna hold you)I gotta get it through to you

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEWhen the going gets tough

Going gets toughGoing gets rough

Going gets rough...

Scene 3: The witch of the north

Merlin: Aren’t we there yet?

Sir Lancelot: Stop it Merlin. You asked ten minutes ago.

King Arthur: Look that’s the door.

Messenger: And the ugly witch!

Witch: Who’s there?

Sir Gallahad: King Arthur, Merlin and the sirs of the round table.

Sir Gawain: Well….. just three of us.

Witch: Come on!. Falcon Crest starts in five minutes

King Arthur: Sorry, your ugliest. We are here only to make you a question.

Witch: Ok Ok. And then you will go, promise?

King Arthur: Promised!!! Lady Morgana has cursed us.

Witch: Bad woman!.

Merlin:Yes, she is

King Arthur: So, no more music for one hundred years if we don’t find 3 cds

Witch: mmmmm, let me see. Let me speak to my mirror. Oooops, It’s broken

Merlin: Try the crystal ball.

Witch: I don’t have one.

Sir Gallahad: Are you really a witch?

Messenger: Maybe she is not a real one

Sir Gawain: You have to do something with that hair.

Witch: Of course, look, I have a broom (showing it).

Sir Gawain: Try something else.

Witch: Ok let me speak to the spirits. Ommmmmmmmm (yoga position)… It doesn’t

work. Let me try my mobile. (dialing in the mobile)…. Yes Chief spirit…. Listen, I

have King Arthur at home.. I know Falcon Crest is about to start…I don’t have the time

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEfor this. They are looking for 3 cds. To a record shop? No, no one has opened one yet.

Ok ok. I will tell them.

King Arthur: So….

Witch: They don’t know

Merlin: Come on.

Witch: Why don’t you call information 11811?

King Arthur: Can we use your mobile?

Witch: Brrrrr Ok, but quickly!

King Arthur: (dialling) Hello!!! I am looking for 3 missing cds. Aha…. Aha….

Aha…. Aha… Thank you very much. 3 chickens!!!!!!! That’s very expensive… Ok I

will tell her. Lady witch, they say that you have to pay 3 chickens for the call….

Witch: 3 chickens?

Sir Lancelot: Orange is more expensive. A cow for that call at least.

Witch: Go away!!! And leave me alone!

Merlin: Thank you for your help (They leave). Where are they your majesty?

King Arthur: They are in the castle

All except King Arthur: In the castle?

King Arthur: Yes, let’s go back. There is no time to waste. (they leave the stage)

Scene 4: Back in the castle

The scene starts with Lady Guinevere on a bed being woken up by Lady Elaine, Clare,

Uma, Marlee, Geller, Elisabeth, Jill and the Page.

Song #3: Help(All ladies except Morgana Le Fey)

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEOne two three four

Help! I need somebody

Help! Not just anybody

Help! You know I need someone

Help!

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

And now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured

Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the door

(chorus)

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

Down down down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

'Round 'round 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Ground ground ground

Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

And now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured

Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the door

(chorus)

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

Down down down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

'Round 'round 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Ground ground ground

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEWon't you please, please help me

Lady Guinevere: Oh my God! One hundred years without music.

Lady Elaine: The birds won’t sing.

Lady Clare: The band will not play

Lady Uma: The king will not sing (everyone on stage looks at her)

Everyone: That’s not so bad.

Lady Marlee: Everytime the king sings, it starts raining

Lady Geller: The frogs go back to the water

Lady Elisabeth: My flowers fade

Lady Jill: And the babies cry

Lady Guinevere: Ladies!!!! He is KING ARTHUR!!!!! (telling them off)

Everyone except Lady Guinevere: Sorry, my lady

Lady Guinevere: Anyway. I have to get ready for the wedding with or without music.

Please give me my mirror.

Lady Elaine: Right away (he leaves the stage and comes back in with a mirror … the

mirror is one of the three Cds)

Lady Clare: I love that mirror, my lady

Lady Uma: It is so small and shiny

Page: I don’t like mirrors.

Lady Marlee: I have one from El Camelot Inglés

Lady Geller: But it’s not so pretty.

Lady Jill: Your majesty, I want one like that, please

Lady Guinevere: I am sorry. This was a present from an ugly lady. She looked like

Lady Morgana.

Everyone: That old ugly woman!!!!!!

Lady Guinevere: Yes, she is.

King Arthur: Guini!!!!!! (shouting from outside the stage) Guini!!!! (now going on

stage with Merlin and the other men)… We are sooooo tired!!!

Merlin: We are soooo cold!!!!

Sir Lancelot: We are soooo hungry!!!!

Sir Gawain: We are sooooo thirsty!!!!

Messenger: We are soooo handsome!!!!!

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFESir Gallahad: And we are soooo ……

Lady Marlee: Whatever!!!! (looking tired)

Lady Guinevere: I am so happy you are here!!! Lady Elaine, bring a chair.

Lady Elaine: Ok. Lady Clare bring a jacket (leave the stage)

Lady Clare: Ok. Lady Uma, bring an apple (leave the stage)

Lady Uma: Ok. Lady Elisabeth, bring some water (goes out of stage)

Lady Elisabeth: Ok Lady, bring a camera (goes out of stage)

Lady Marlee: Ok. Lady Geller….. mmmmmm ….. whatever!!! (goes out of stage)

Lady Jill: Sir Lancelot, what happened?

Sir Lancelot: Well, once upon a time a witch said hello to us…….

All the men & Messenger: SSSSSHHHHHHHHHH. Please stop

Merlin: The 3 cds are in the castle.

Lady Guinevere: Sorry?.

Sir Gawain: Yes, my lady. They are here.

Lady Elaine: (coming back on stage) No way!!!!

Lady Clare: (coming back on stage) Impossible!!!

Lady Uma: (coming back on stage) I can’t believe it!!!

Lady Elisabeth: (coming back on stage) Can you repeat, please?

Lady Marlee: (coming back on stage, stops for a second and says) …. Whatever!!!!

(looking tired again)

Lady Guinevere: This is too much!! (she is holding the mirror in her hand and she

starts looking herself in the mirror)

Merlin: Look at the mirror, my king.

Sir Lancelot: It is a ….

Sir Gawain: mirror?¿?

Sir Gallahad: It is a CD!!!!!!

King Arthur: My lady, your mirror is a CD.

Lady Guinevere: No way. This is a present from an old lady… She looked like… Oh

my God! Lady Morgana!!!.

Merlin: So, we have one cd. Two more and we will win.

Sir Gawain: Let’s have a party tonight to celebrate

All the Sirs & The King: yes, let’s do it. uuuuuuuhuuuuuuu (all the ladies & the male

roles leave the stage)…

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFELady Guinevere: (alone on stage, snobbing and irritated)… and now… I haven’t got a

mirror.

Scene 5: The party

(Everyone is sitting at tables having dinner and drinking)

Merlin: (stands up) Enjoy the party, my beloved ones. It is the last one with music

(music is playing in the background).

Sir Lancelot: We have one CD, Merlin.

Sir Gawain: Two more and Morgana will loose.

Sir Gallahad: Have faith in us, my king!

Lady Marlee: (stands up) Whatever!!!.... (she is wearing a very special necklace, made

with a ….. CD!!!!!) I am very hungry…. Bring some more food!!!!

King Arthur: Oh my God!

Merlin: Can you see that?

Sir Lancelot: It’s true

Sir Gawain: I can’t believe it

Sir Gallahan: Yes, it’s the best hat I have. (who is sitting at the table with Lady

Marlee)

All the ladies: Not that beautiful!!!

All the sirs & King Arthur except Sir Gallahan: Not the hat… It’s Marlee’s necklace

Lady Marlee: Do you like it?. It’s from Lady Guinevere.

Lady Clare: Mine is better (showing off)

Lady Geller: Look at my ring…. It’s from El Camelot Inglés

Lady Uma: That’s cheap. My tiara is from Tiffany’s

Lady Elaine: Stop it!!!!.

Lady Jill: Yes, look at my….

All the sirs & King Arthur except Sir Gallahan: It’s one of the CD’s

Lady Guinevere: No way!. It’s mine

King Arthur: But my love. It is one of the cds. We need to have it

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFELady Guinevere: First my mirror and now my necklace.

Merlin: The king will buy you another one.

All the ladies except Guinevere: And me?

Lady Guinevere: Shhhhhhhh. Silence!!! I am the princess. Ok Arthur!!! (very angry)

This is very bad. (starts sobbing)

Lady Jill: Don’t worry, my lady (all the ladies go out and boys stay on stage)

Sir Gallahad: You see, my lord. We have the second CD.

Everyone: Let’s celebrate it

Scene 6: poor little princess

Lady Guinevere: I am soooo sad….

Lady Clare: I feel so bad for you

Lady Marlee: Can I help you?

Lady Guinevere: No, thanks. I want to watch House on TV.

Lady Geller: You can’t, my lady

Lady Uma: King Arthur is watching football now. Real Camelot versus London

Athletic.

Lady Guinevere: Not the TV (sobbing)

Lady Jill: I’m afraid so…. (theatrical music)

Everyone excepts Lady Guinevere: Look there… It’s Morgana Le Fey

Lady Morgana: Hello Girls…. ¡!!!!!!!

Lady Elisabeth: Go away!

Lady Marlee: It’s all your fault

Lady Guinevere: (still sobbing) Leave me alone!

Lady Morgana: Ohhhh poor little princess!!! Hahahahahahhaha (laughing out loud) I

am so sorry…. Well, I am not hahahahhahah

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEAll the ladies: Come on girls. It’s now or never… Take her… (All the ladies go

running to Lady Morgana and grab her, so that she cannot move).

Lady Morgana: Release me!!! Release me!!!

Lady Guinevere: Aha… so now you are not laughing!!! (taking a feather). Now, tell

me where the cd number 3 is. (now it is moving the feather around Lady Morgana’s

nose, torturing her).

Lady Morgana: Please, please stop stop

Lady Guinevere: Tell me!!!

Lady Morgana: Ok Ok Ok, but please stop

Lady Guinevere: Release her!!!! (the ladies release Morgana).

Lady Morgana: The cd number 3 is in….. the stereo.

All the ladies: In the stereo.?¿?¿?¿?

Lady Clare: Merlin has not invented it

Lady Morgana: Yes, he has.

All the ladies: Impossible.

Lady Morgana: No, it’s true. Merlin has a stereo in his bedroom

Lady Marlee: How is that possible?

Lady Morgana: Merlin is my boyfriend

All the ladies: What?

Lady Morgana: Yes, he is. I love him soooo much. We want to be the queen and the

King of Camelot

Lady Guinevere: That old man!!!!.... I will tell Arthur.

Lady Morgana: Please my lady, forgive him

Lady Guinevere: Ok, but no more curses.

Lady Morgana: I promise, please my lady. I will be good. Don’t kill him.

Lady Guinevere: Ok I forgive you and Merlin. Oh my God look at the time!!! We have

to go!!! It’s almost twelve. I want to marry Arthur today. (they all run out of stage).

Song #4: True Blue(All ladies including Morgana LeFey)

Hey

What

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEListen

I've had other guys

I've looked into their eyes

But I never knew love before

'Til you walked through my door

Chorus:

True love

You're the one I'm dreaming of

Your heart fits me like a glove

And I'm gonna be true blue baby I love you

No more sadness, I kiss it good-bye

The sun is bursting right out of the sky

I searched the whole world for someone like you

Don't you know, don't you know that it's

True love, oh baby, true love, oh baby

True love, oh baby, true love it's

(repeat)

True love

You're the one I'm dreaming of

Your heart fits me like a glove

And I'm gonna be true blue baby I love you

'Cause it's

True love, oh baby, true love, oh baby

True love, oh baby, true love it's

(repeat)

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Scene 7: everybody loves a happy ending

King Arthur: What are we going to do?

Sir Lancelot: Two hours left

Sir Gallahad: No more music

Sir Gawain: No more dancing

Messenger: No more Nachos

Merlin: No more king and queen (whispering and giggling to the audience)

Lady Guinevere: (from outside the stage) Darling where are you?

King Arthur: Here my love

(All the ladies with Morgana come on stage, Lady Guinevere comes in with a stereo)

Merlin: That’s mine

All the ladies: (very annoyed) we know!!!!

Lady Morgana: I’m sorry my love (going to Merlin)

Sir Lancelot: What’s that?

Sir Gallahad: yours?

Sir Gawain: my love?

King Arthur: What’s happening? Please explain (angry)

Lady Clare: Lady Morgana is Merlin’s girlfriend

Lady Marlee: Whatever!!!!!. The Cd is in the stereo.

Lady Geller: Merlin has invented the stereo

Lady Uma: He had the 3 cds.

Page: Such a bad guy!!!!! (pointing with the finger)

King Arthur: I have a headache

Lady Guinevere: Look my love (she opens the CD and takes the disc out and hands it

to the king). It is here. We can be happy again!

King Arthur: (takes the cd and his face changes). Why Merlin?

Merlin: I don’t like the way you sing

Lady Morgana: I don’t like you

Lady Guinevere: They want to become king and queen

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFEKing Arthur: No, you are my friend

Merlin: If you are my friend, you will stop singing

Everyone (excepts King Arthur): That’s true

King Arthur: (looking to everyone) Is that true my dear?

Lady Guinevere: It’s true my dear. Your singing is very bad

Everyone (excepts King Arthur): That’s true

King Arthur: I’m sorry I didn’t know

Lady Guinevere: Don’t worry. Stop singing and everything will be fine.

King Arthur: Ok. Ok Ok… But now, what are we going to do with Merlin and Lady

Morgana?

Everyone (excepts King Arthur): Please, Forgive them

King Arthur: Should I?. (asking Lady Guinevere)

Lady Guinevere: Please my darling. They are in love. So are we. Let’s live in peace.

King Arthur: Ok, Merlin, Lady Morgana, you are forgiven

Sir Gawain: 3 hurrays for our King

Everyone: Hurray, hurray, hurray

Sir Gallahad: And now let the wedding begin!!!!.

Song #5: All over the world(Everyone on stage)

It's something that look in your eyes tonight

Like magic it's changing everything in sight

I hear it all around me every day

In the music that you play

This is a song about boys and girls

You hear it playing all over the world



It's sincere and subjective all over the world

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I LOVE THE KNIGHTLIFESuperficial and true all over the world

Easy and predictable all over the world

Exciting and new to say I want you





Playing all over the world, playing all over the world

THE END

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i love the knightlife

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