how to win friends & influence people review
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A quick overview of the seminal classic How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.TRANSCRIPT
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
A LESSON IN COMMUNICATION
BookLeverageBlog.com
LEVERAGE:
“the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability than for any under the sun.”
-John D. Rockefeller
Part One -Fundamental Techniques in
Handling People
Section 1
• “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
Take-Away: Today’s enemy can be tomorrow’s ally; treat accordingly
Section 2
• “The Big Secret of Dealing with People”
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Take-Away: They might not remember everything, but they will remember how you made them feel
Section 3
• “He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way”
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Take-Away: Help others get what they want and you will get what you want
Part Two – Six Ways to Make People Like You
Section 1
• “Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere”
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Take-Away: You are only as interesting as the interest you show in others
Section 2
• “A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression”
Principle 2: Smile.
Take-Away: You are only as happy as you want to be. Show others how happy you are
Section 3
• “If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble”
Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Take-Away: How did you feel the last time someone remembered your name unexpectedly
Section 4
• “An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist”
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Take-Away: Everybody has something to say, be different and be the person that listens
Section 5
• “How to Interest People”
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Take-Away: You may not be an expert in their field of interest, but you can always be interested
Section 6
• “How to Make People Like You Instantly”
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Take-Away: You know who you are; find out about the other person and take the time to find out who they are
Part Three – How to Win People to Your Way of
Thinking
Section 1
• “You Can’t Win an Argument”
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Take-Away: “Winning” an argument does not make you a winner
Section 2
• “A Sure Way of Making Enemies – And How to Avoid It”
Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Take-Away: People’s opinions are like their children so treat them accordingly
Section 3
• “If You’re Wrong, Admit It”
Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Take-Away: Don’t hide from your mistakes, they will find you
Section 4
• “A Drop of Honey”
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.
Take-Away: Regardless of where you are going, set the mood in a positive way to start
Section 5
• “The Secret of Socrates”
Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Take-Away: A path of yesses will always lead to success
Section 6
• “The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints”
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Take-Away: We have one mouth and two ears
Section 7
• “How to Get Cooperation”
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Take-Away: Do you want the credit or to get things done
Section 8
• “A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You”
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Take-Away: Forget walking a mile in their shoes, just imagine for a second how things might look to the person across from you
Section 9
• “What Everybody Wants”
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Take-Away: Remember when someone mistreated your ideas and desires…how did that feel
Section 10
• “An Appeal That Everybody Likes”
Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Take-Away: We all know what fair play is
Section 11
• “The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?”
Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas.
Take-Away: We all love a good story…do you tell good stories
Section 12
• “When Nothing Else Works, Try This”
Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.
Take-Away: What did you do the last time somebody told you it couldn’t be done
Part Four – Be a Leader: How to Change
People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Section 1
• “If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin”
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Take-Away: Giving thanks always sets the right tone
Section 2
• “How to Criticize – And Not Be Hated for It”
Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Take-Away: People know when they have erred, how you respond to it is the teachable moment
Section 3
• “Talk About Your Own Mistakes First”
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Take-Away: Making yourself human in another person’s eyes only adds to your powers of persuasion
Section 4
• “No One Likes to Take Orders”
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Take-Away: The Socratic Method has many uses (and many benefits)
Section 5
• “Let the Other Person Save Face”
Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
Take-Away: Letting a person keep their dignity is a great gift that we should always be looking to give
Section 6
• “How to Spur People On to Success”
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Take-Away: Positive feedback leads to positive results
Section 7
• “Give a Dog a Good Name”
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Take-Away: People will meet the expectations we set for them
Section 8
• “Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct”
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Take-Away: The mindset you instill in another will determine what they accomplish
Section 9
• “Making People Glad to Do What You Want”
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Take-Away: Show others what is in it for them and you will leave a trail of satisfied people