Quick Note From Michael :

My goal has been and always will be helping people that are in situations just like yours. I’ve been there and felt the pain, confusion, and frustration of losing the love and excitement of my early marriage. The unanswered questions, the what ifs, the belief “if she only understood me” how different things would be … and similar thoughts … kept me up many nights thinking about what I could do to avoid the conflicts we kept having. It seems our relationship got to the point where we couldn’t talk about anything without getting into an argument over it. During the first 10 years of my marriage my wife began the process of separation 3 times, and I did move out once and took a job on the road for 6 months. Many times I thought divorce was going to be the only option. Thankfully, I was able to restore my relationship and I am now happily married to the love of my life for thirty one years. Now I want to share that knowledge and help YOU build a healthy and happy marriage. If you know anyone who is currently in the same situation as you please feel free to pass this guide along. Share it on Facebook, Email, Forums, etc. Share this wherever you can to help spread the message and help impact peoples’ lives for the better.

Thank You,

Michael Eastwood

Overcoming Marriage Problems

As hard as it may be to believe when things are at their worst - you really can overcome any obstacle that’s standing in the way of having a good marriage. My own marriage is living proof of that! In my own experience I’ve found if you’ll take the following 3 decisions, and adopt them as your own, a successful marriage is inevitable. I believe these 3 principles are the foundation, and the key, to any good relationship – whether it be a marriage relationship, a friendship, your role as a parent, or even your relationship with a next door neighbor - adopt these principles and see what happens. The principles are called “The 3 C’s of Marriage”. I was introduced to these about 20 years ago. And they turned my marriage around.

What Your Future Can Look Like if You Are Willing to Keep an Open Mind and Alter Your Approach

I’m happy for you! I’m enthused because I know what miracles are about to happen in your life when you apply what I’m about to share with you. Would you like for you and your spouse to really enjoy each others company again? Here are just some of the things which can happen once you’re able to overcome the obstacles that have been standing in your way … you and your spouse can learn to:

Respect each other’s differences

Stop fighting with each other

Agree about money

Enjoy each other’s company

Understand each other

Trust each other

Feel connected with each other

Come to an agreement on parenting, and more! I created 3 free reports to go over things you MUST DO when working with your partner to achieve the benefits listed above. You can get the first one HERE.

Briefly, each report covers one of the 3 C’s of marriage. In this introduction you’re getting an overview of all 3. Don’t worry. You’ll learn how to incorporate them into your life later. Here, I’m just introducing the principles.

The 3 C’s of Marriage They are:

1. Commitment 2. Communication, and, 3. Compromise

In that exact order. Does that seem too simplistic? If so, that’s ok. Jesus taught some of the simplest lessons ever recorded, and yet they’re also some of the most profound! Apply each of these 3 principles to your marriage and just watch what happens! If you really want to get past the obstacles that have been sabotaging your marriage follow this simple step-by-step action plan to make them a thing of the past. These are 3 proven and time tested tips that will show you how to have a happy and fulfilling marriage. #1) Commitment – a solid commitment by itself gets you over 50% there When a person lacks commitment it means they can only be relied upon when things are going well. And that’s just not life on this planet earth. I don’t care who you are – you will have obstacles and you will have challenges. Marriage is just one of many areas in which they occur. A solid commitment is HUGE because it locks your mind in on finding a way no matter what! Once that’s your attitude your mind starts looking for and expecting solutions. Is that what you’ve been experiencing so far? If so that’s great! It means you’re already much closer than you thought. Your commitment alone means you’re over half way there! If not, you can learn how to make that commitment and what’s involved.

#2) Communication – the starting point of mutual understanding Who doesn’t want to be understood? And what’s more frustrating than feeling you’re being wrongly accused, no matter how hard you try to explain yourself? In communication it’s important to have ground rules. If a husband and wife can agree to respect each other and take turns l-i-s-t-e-n-i-n-g it’s amazing what can happen. Good listening is rare. It requires shutting out your own thoughts and focusing in on what your partner is saying. What’s the alternative? By default we simply assume things, misinterpret each another, and make accusations.

#3) Compromise – if one person always wins that means their partner is a loser (because he or she always loses) Is that what we want? Think about it. We may want things to go our way but what are the odds we’re always right? Yet that’s how we act when all we do is fight. We become hell bent on the other person knowing we’re right, and they’re wrong. With a power struggle like that, is it any wonder this kind of marriage is in trouble? No give and take?

Putting It All Together Those are the 3 steps you must take if you want your relationship back. Follow each of them and you are guaranteed to resolve the problems which seem so insurmountable right now. This is not a magic formula but it’s close. As I mentioned earlier, the upcoming free reports share the 3 things you MUST DO to ensure success in your marriage. If you want your marriage to leave you feeling -

loved, and,

respected this is an excellent resource for you. And it’s the next chapter!

Commitment

The First Key Decision That Can Overcome Any

Obstacle and Save Any Marriage

By Michael Eastwood

There are 3 Vital Decisions (Steps) to Restoring a Marriage – the First of Which is to Make A Solid Commitment The first step to healing a broken marriage is to resolve that no matter what it takes (short of infidelity or physical abuse*) – you are going to fix whatever is broken. In other words you’re going to make a solid commitment to your marriage.

Without a solid commitment to work things out the chances of it happening are slim. With a commitment it’s almost inevitable. Trying to heal a marriage where both parties have been wounded can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. Being in a hard relationship is certainly no walk in the park. And depending on the amount of pain inflicted healing can be a slow process. It’s a process that takes time. Which is why it requires a commitment. But is it worth it?

What are the Options? What happens if you don’t make a commitment? (A commitment means no matter what you’re going to see this through) Well there are really only so many options …

1. Divorce – you just give up. 2. Separation – you get ready to give up. 3. You give all the blame to your spouse and become a victim.

4. Get counseling – you work on things and try to make them better. 5. You stay in the marriage but divorce yourself emotionally from it.

While you may be able to think of more, the above are the most likely outcomes. But here’s what won’t happen. Things won’t just magically get better.

*[NOTE: Infidelity, although painful, can be healed. If your spouse was unfaithful and you’re struggling with how to deal with it you might try going here to get ideas from someone who specializes in that area. For physical abuse my advice is to get to a safe location – TODAY – and then seek professional help in your area. ]

The “Ugly Side” of Divorce

I remember when, after 10 years of marriage I went to an attorney to get the details of what was involved in a legal separation. I wasn’t quite ready to ask about a divorce, not yet. So I was asking about a legal separation. That visit was a real eye opener. What I learned was how intertwined my wife’s and my lives had become. When you visit a divorce attorney – even if it’s only to inquire about a legal separation - for the first time you start understanding the reality of what you’re about to do. And believe me it has a sobering effect on how you think. What you realize is everything you’ve worked so hard for, and poured yourself into, is a 50-50 deal. You don’t own anything yourself. We had joint checking and savings accounts, we filed our taxes jointly, our names were both on the titles of our cars, our house … our possessions had been purchased or given to us from so many different sources … we were both involved in varying degrees with our children’s school life. Our children needed us as parents and one of us would have to move – it just goes on and on. When the Bible says “they two shall become one flesh” it’s literally true in so many ways. Divorce un-builds and un-does what took years to nurture.

Commitments Change Everything To succeed doing anything in life takes sacrifice and hard work. But it has it’s rewards. The determination not to be swayed by the highs and lows of a relationship builds inner strength and integrity (which causes you to have a feeling of confidence in yourself), not to mention the ability to see beyond your personal unhappiness. Here is a famous quote by Calvin Coolidge, our country’s 30th president: “Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

Do you see the parallels here? Persistence, determination, and commitment are flip sides of the same coin. This means the same qualities Calvin Coolidge said will “always solve the problems of the human race” will surely aid you in solving your relationship problems – no matter how painful, no matter how big.

Reasons Not to Give Up Happily married couples say they’ve learned to accept each other’s strength and possibilities. They make the case that by doing so they transform themselves from the ordinary to the extraordinary. That’s what’s so rewarding about making things work out. My wife and I wouldn’t trade anything for the people we’ve become in the process. There is a quiet confidence we have in each other’s commitment. It’s a good, safe feeling to know that she accepts me, even with all my faults. And I’ve learned to accept her. There’s a trust between us I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Putting It All Together I’m 100% convinced my marriage wouldn’t have lasted without the commitment my wife and I each made individually to God, and to each other. On our wedding day we exchanged vows – promises of what we would do for each other – before God, before family, and before all our friends. Those vows (commitments) we made prevented us from getting divorced – in spite of how many times I desperately wanted to. Underlying everything was the fact I really did love my wife, and I believed she loved me. Our problem was we didn’t know how to resolve our conflicts. And because we didn’t they just got worse and worse. Which leads to the next step you need to take … the next principle that can turn your life and your marriage completely around. And that’s the topic of my next article.

Communication. As I mentioned earlier, I recommend that you read each of my reports so you don’t miss even one of the 3 things you MUST DO when you need to turn things around with your special someone in order to ensure success.

It provides in depth information about how to properly communicate with your spouse so that he or she will want to work things out with you. It’s an excellent resource for someone who is looking to take the next step and patch up their relationship.

For more information click here to read the report.

Thank you

Michael Eastwood

Communication

The Second Key Decision That Can Overcome Any

Obstacle and Save Any Marriage

By Michael Eastwood

There are 3 Vital Decisions (Steps) to Restoring a Marriage – the Second

of Which is to Become a Skilled Communicator

The second step to healing a broken marriage is to resolve to become a skilled communicator, and it really isn’t that hard. It just takes a willingness to learn and practice. But the rewards are absolutely astounding!

Feeling understood by your spouse

Feeling more loved, respected, and accepted

Being treated like your thoughts and ideas have value

Having someone you can confide in

Builds greater trust between you

Enables you to learn how to resolve differences

Seeing sides of each other you’d never seen before

Understanding how your actions affect your partner The list could go on and on. Does communication take work? Yes. Are there rewards? Yes. Is it worth it? You be the judge. But put it this way … wouldn’t it feel great to know you cared enough about each other to allow open and free expression? In-depth advice about a step by step alternative when marriage counseling isn’t an option is available at MarriageSherpa (read more Here)

An Epidemic of Misunderstanding If you lack communication skills don’t worry – you’re not alone. Most people are lousy communicators. One reason is most of us grew up without having it being modeled.

Another is because communication requires commitment (remember foundation principle #1?). And it requires maturity. It also requires patience. Plus honesty. Plus a certain level of vulnerability, trust, and security. See why it’s not very common?

Opening the Lines of Communication

In order for any relationship to be successful, there must be consistent good communication. Although this is true for any relationship, it’s most essential in marriage. In nearly every marriage which has begun to deteriorate, lack of communication is one of the main factors.

One of the best ways to resolve this problem is to go back to the very beginning-- your

beginning! Was lack of communication a problem all along, or was it something that

started later?

For far too many couples, lack of communication was a problem from the start. If you

and your spouse fall into this category, it is essential that you come to terms with this

problem so you can work on resolving it. Some people have had a lack of

communication because of a naïve belief that “love would conquer all,” and therefore

did not recognize the need to discuss important issues; others began their relationship,

and even entered into marriage, feeling unable to voice their thoughts, feelings,

preferences, beliefs, so they just “went along with” their partners on everything.

Guess what? That doesn’t work.

(Don’t forget report #3 – Learning to Compromise )

Because for people in these categories, the time usually comes when they’re no longer

content to simply “go with the flow,” and find that major differences and disagreements

occur when they attempt to assert themselves. They may find that their spouse wishes

to remain in charge; or, they may find that they and their spouse disagree on significant

issues.

In either case, opening the lines of communication is the first, essential step in asserting

oneself and in beginning to reach agreements. You will find that there will be a number

of instances in which you and your spouse must “agree to disagree.”

This is where maturity comes in. It takes an emotionally mature person to accept a

situation that requires them to patiently allow things to be different than they believe it

should be. Especially when it happens in areas you both have deep feelings about.

More on that in a moment.

For many other couples, however, communication was a present factor in the

beginning, but somehow managed to deteriorate over time. Lack of time with each

other due to family and work responsibilities often account for many of these instances.

Sometimes, also, a person's priorities shift-- while the marital relationship was once a

person's number-one focus, other factors in his or her life led the marriage to take

second-place, somehow not seeming as important as it was at the beginning.

In these instances, reassessing priorities is the main key to reestablishing good

communication. It is necessary to give your marriage the time and attention it needs

and deserves-- and to give your spouse the time and attention which he or she needs

and deserves.

There are other instances in which people simply lack good communication skills. If this

appears to describe you or your spouse, take heart-- good communication skills can be

learned. Even if you are nonassertive, or do not know how to communicate effectively,

it is a skill which you can learn-- by practice and experience.

Whichever of these categories describes you and your spouse, recognizing the

foundation of the problem is the first step in resolving it.

What Does Good Communication Look Like?

What is good communication? When you and your spouse can talk with each other

about all important subjects and even subjects which have no serious implications at all;

when you can freely share what you think, feel, believe, want, like and dislike; when

you can state your stand on important issues and listen to your spouse's, with mutual

respect even when there are matters of disagreement; you can have good, effective

communication.

Good communication comes from practice, experience, respect and the time which you

are willing to put into it!

More About Emotional Maturity

I made the comment above that because of differences we sometimes will find

ourselves in the position of “agreeing to disagree”.

Unfortunately, for marriages that are in trouble husbands and wives rarely have the

willingness to make those kinds of agreements and “go with the flow”. Instead what

happens is they engage in power struggles, where one wins and the other loses.

As you can see, a large element of the “3 Key Decisions That Can Overcome Any

Problem And Save Any Marriage” plan is self-control. You need to control your

emotions. You need to recognize and make a serious effort to minimize emotional and

behavioral problems. You need to listen, and above all, you need to be patient. It’s what

mature adults do.

It’s a challenge but you have a great incentive – your marriage and family if you have

children.

Emotional maturity is a hallmark of the 3rd C of marriage … Compromise. With a firm

foundation of commitment, open channels of communication for understanding, the

final piece is learning to Compromise. That’s in my 3rd report here.

Thank You

Michael Eastwood

p.s. Get your 3rd report – on Compromise - for overcoming obstacles. You’ve come this

far … don’t miss this last key report on how to resolve your differences. It’s still FREE.

Get it here!

p.p.s. For a complete, in-depth plan to learn discipline and control in marriage, consider

checking out “MarriageSherpa – Find The Love Again”. It provides all the steps you

must take to get your marriage back on track, the common problems you run into, and it

will teach you the steps, tools, techniques, and strategies you’ll need along the way.

It goes into looking critically at yourself which can be a difficult process. However, it is

an essential part of the process. It will help you emerge with renewed confidence in

yourself and your ability to change. This will definitely multiply the chances of your

success. You can get more information by clicking here.

Compromise

The Third Key Decision That Can Overcome Any

Obstacle and Save Any Marriage

By Michael Eastwood

Dealing With Differences vs. Power Struggles

Which picture accurately depicts your marriage? The happy, Compromising

Couple on the cover page? or, the “I Win / You Lose” couple above?

Q. Which do you want it to be?

NOTE: Like this ebook? For more valuable marriage tips check out look my free

newsletter. I promise it has actionable content and if you don’t like it you can cancel at

any time.

Everyone Is Different

Each person is an individual; and, as such, no two people can reasonably be expected to

agree on everything. Being able to recognize this as a fact-of-life is one of the most

important signs of maturity. It is also the first step in learning how to effectively resolve

differences.

If you think about it, you probably know a lot of people who don’t have that level of

maturity. Even though it affects every area of life, it can quickly spell “disaster” in a

marriage! You may know someone who, due to flaws in his or her upbringing, always

has to “have his own way.” It may be someone who always had and did whatever he

wanted as a child, causing him to become older without growing up, still believing he’s

entitled to get whatever he wants.

It may be someone who had to fight for everything that he had, and even as an adult

interprets differences as a threat to “his rights.” Or it may be someone who was

spoiled, with “his way” never being challenged by anyone. While such a person can

learn how to respectfully acknowledge differences, and learn how to compromise, it all

depends on the willingness of that person.

Power or Co-operation?

Fortunately, difficulties in a marriage are not always to such an extreme. Perhaps you

and your spouse did not fully acknowledge your differences in the early stages of your

relationship; or perhaps you felt that time and love would solve the problem.

Does this look like a mature way of resolving problems?

While effective communication is essential in resolving any type of problem, respect for

each other's differences and the motivation to reach a solution are also necessary.

As differences come about primarily from a person's background and upbringing, there

can be many or few, minor or serious. But whether the subject is a matter of a minor

disagreement or something of a very serious nature, getting the hang of resolving

differences before they become matters of confrontation is the most important factor.

In other words, what the issue is, is not nearly as relevant as what you do about it.

Whether you and your spouse are disagreeing on something as tiny as where to hang

your towels in the bathroom, or something of large proportion such as whether or not

your sixteen-year-old is ready to get a driver's license. Learning how to resolve

differences is the deciding factor between reaching a conclusion both spouses can live

with - or – giving in to a power-struggle which requires that one party wins and the

other one loses.

The fact of the matter is that in a marital relationship, if differences are settled by

power-struggles, everyone loses.

Two Better Ways

If power struggles have become a problem in your marriage, you may be wondering

how not being in a struggle can work.

There are two basic manners in which differences can be resolved-- by compromise, or

by “agreeing to disagree.”

In most cases, you will find that compromise is indeed the best solution. This way, a

conclusion is reached which both persons can be relatively comfortable with. In some

instances, however, agreeing to disagree is the only viable solution. The reason why it is

most beneficial is that it eliminates power struggles and promotes respect between

both people. This was the most common route my wife and I took until we developed

our communication skills.

Although many people fail to grasp this fact, mainly due to their upbringing or popular

trends, “fighting” is most definitely not an unavoidable, par-for-the-course part of any

relationship, including marriage. The fact of the matter is that most arguments can be

stopped in their tracks by setting yourself to the task of learning effective

communication and how to resolve your differences through compromise and agreeing

to disagree.

It is simply not necessary for any disagreement to escalate into a “fight”-- nor is it

healthy! It causes more problems than were there to begin with, and diminishes the

respect between the two individuals. Learning how to resolve differences is not only

essential-- it is also possible!

In wrapping up these 3 reports I hope you can see that Commitment – Communication –

and Compromise are not only possible, but are the keys to making a difference in your

marriage. Master these 3 principles and anything, (if your experience is like mine) then

anything is possible.

God bless. I wish you and yours all the best in life.

Michael Eastwood

p.s. Last chance to secure my newsletter. It begins with a look at the power of habits in

our relationships – and how we begin to fight with our spouses on autopilot, without

any thought - like Pavlov’s dog! Want to stop fighting with your spouse? Check it out!