how to raise a heartache. you will never regret taking the time to teach your children. consider the...

How to Raise A Heartache

You will never regret taking the time to teach your children.

• Consider the precious soul of your child and zealously seek God’s way. (Eph 6:4)


• Ephesians 6:4 - And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.


• When you face your own death there will be great comfort and joy in this!

• Only a complete commitment would prepare parents for this work. (Deut 6:4-8)


• Deuteronomy 6:4-8 - " Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 5 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 " And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart


• 7 "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 "You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.


• We need the humility to always ask and seek the Lord’s wisdom in this matter.

• God will bless the humble prayer asking for help.

• God’s people have often failed in this very thing. (Judges 2:10)


• Judges 2:10 - When all that generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel.


• We are going to make a list of “things not to do” based upon the failures of king David with his son Absalom.

Take sin or the consequences of sin lightly

• David committed sin and covered it up for over a year.

• David was idle and gave into temptation. Had he know what would have followed he would have never thought about doing this. (Gal 6:7-8)


• Galatians 6:7-8 - Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.


• Once caught in Satan’s snare David went much further.

• The greatest consequences of sin will be seen in your children. (2 Sam 12:10)


• 2 Samuel 12:10 - 'Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.'


• We can fool the world but rarely will we fool our families.

• How many of David’s children died without God?

Show weakness or indifference in dealing with sin in the home

• A child’s concept of God and of sin and righteousness come from the home.

• There were great consequences to polygamy (Favoritism, lack of attention and association, loss of respect).

• When sin is ignored respect for both the parent and God is lost! (Heb 12:6-8)


• Hebrews 12:6-8 - For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives." 7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

Do not show weakness or indifference in dealing with sin in the home

• Inconsistency can produce bitterness with potential lifelong consequences.

• Dishonesty is taught when you chose to close your heart from justice. Those who flee from conflict to “help” their children are making a great mistake!

• David did nothing to act when Absalom’s sister was raped. (2 Sam 13:1, 19-22)


• 2 Samuel 13:1 (NKJV) - After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.


• 2 Samuel 13:19-22 (NKJV) - Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. 20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.


• 21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

Do not show weakness or indifference in dealing with sin in the home

• Imagine how David’s complete inaction affected Absalom.

• If David was not going to act then Absalom was. He would commit murder.

Refuse to consistently stand on principle

• When you walk by faith you will walk by mercy and justice. (Psa 101:1; Isa 30:18; Hosea 12:6; Mt 23:23)


• Psalm 101:1 - I will sing of mercy and justice; To You, O LORD, I will sing praises.


• Isaiah 30:18 - Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.


• Hosea 12:6 - So you, by the help of your God, return; Observe mercy and justice, And wait on your God continually.

Do not refuse to consistently stand on principle

• Matthew 23:23 - "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone.


• When we have 2 sets of rules between those we “love” and for the others we do not care for then we are being “partial” and are fighting God. (James 2:1, 4)


• James 2:1 - My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality.


• James 2:4 - have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts?


• Our children will see us as hypocrites. (Rom 2:21-24)


• Romans 2:21-24 - You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal? 22 You who say, "Do not commit adultery," do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? 23 You who make your boast in the law, do you dishonor God through breaking the law


• 24 For "the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you," as it is written.


• Time and emotions do not change what is right. Deciding to compromise because of relationship or self-pity does not help the one astray.

• How many think that they love their child more than God does?


• The best gift you can give your children is a living faith that stands upon a doctrinal core. This must be both taught and lived. (Eph 4:14; Acts 20:18-20)


• Ephesians 4:14 - that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting,


• Acts 20:18-20 - And when they had come to him, he said to them: "You know, from the first day that I came to Asia, in what manner I always lived among you, 19 "serving the Lord with all humility, with many tears and trials which happened to me by the plotting of the Jews; 20 "how I kept back nothing that was helpful, but proclaimed it to you, and taught you publicly and from house to house,


• Absalom should be executed if he ever returned to Israel.

• He was right to flee. God is a God of justice and David should have accepted that in his heart. (2 Sam 13:37-39)


• 2 Samuel 13:37-39 (NKJV) - But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 38So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.


• David let his desires corrupt his heart. (James 1:14-16)


• James 1:14-16 - But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.


• Perhaps his guilt pushed him to think he should act beyond what was written.

Listen to the council of the ungodly

• Righteous company and unrighteous company will affect you. (Psa 1:1-2)


• Psalm 1:1-2 - Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.


• David willingly let Joab “manipulate” him to bring back Absalom. Joab was simply taking political advantage of an opportunity. (2 Sam 14:19-21)


• 2 Samuel 14:19-21 (NKJV) - So the king said, “Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?” And the woman answered and said, “As you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king has spoken. For your servant Joab commanded me, and he put all these words in the mouth of your maidservant.


• 20 To bring about this change of affairs your servant Joab has done this thing; but my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of the angel of God, to know everything that is in the earth.” 21 And the king said to Joab, “All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.”


• Situation ethics becomes very appealing when we no longer act on principle. We can boldly proclaim good as evil and evil as good.

• You will lose respect of those who are godly. You also will lose touch with reality.

Salve your conscious by taking meaningless actions

• David though that words would make him look strong. (2 Sam 14:24)


• 2 Samuel 14:24 (NKJV) - And the king said, “Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face.” So Absalom returned to his own house, but did not see the king’s face.


• This “toughness” was not the way God said to deal with it.

• Absalom knew that David was made of jello and he would take full advantage.

• Absalom used a temper tantrum to cross the line that David drew. (2 Sam 14:28-33)


• 2 Samuel 14:28-14:33 (NKJV) - And Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see the king’s face. 29 Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. And when he sent again the second time, he would not come. 30 So he said to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.” And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.


• 31 Then Joab arose and came to Absalom’s house, and said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?” 32 And Absalom answered Joab, “Look, I sent to you, saying, ‘Come here, so that I may send you to the king, to say, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.”’ Now therefore, let me see the king’s face; but if there is iniquity in me, let him execute me.”


• 33 So Joab went to the king and told him. And when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.


• Absalom would now get whatever he wants.

• He would now play on David’s emotions and he would come to despise his father.

Promote your child’s self-esteem on worldly principles.

• David should have known what would happen to a child that is never rebuked.

• Absalom is praised for his looks against Godly standards. (2 Sam 14:25)


• 2 Samuel 14:25 (NKJV) - Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him


• He is given material things and allowed to flaunt it. (2 Sam 15:1)


• 2 Samuel 15:1 - After this it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him.


• This display of worldliness caused him to be greatly praised by worldly people.

• He is allowed to publicly undermine David’s government by promising “hope and change. Where was David? (2 Sam 15:2-5)


• 2 Samuel 15:2-5 - Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, "What city are you from?" And he would say, "Your servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel


• 3 Then Absalom would say to him, "Look, your case is good and right; but there is no deputy of the king to hear you." 4 Moreover Absalom would say, "Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice." 5 And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him.

Refuse to learn from your mistakes

• David refused to recognize the seriousness of Absalom’s actions even after his great public sins. (2 Sam 18:5)


• 2 Samuel 18:5 - Now the king had commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom." And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains orders concerning Absalom.


• Why do you think Joab killed Absalom and hid that from David?

• Joab did not respect David. (2 Sam 19:5-6)


• 2 Samuel 19:5-6 (NKJV) - Then Joab came into the house to the king, and said, “Today you have disgraced all your servants who today have saved your life, the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives and the lives of your concubines,


• 6 in that you love your enemies and hate your friends. For you have declared today that you regard neither princes nor servants; for today I perceive that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died today, then it would have pleased you well.


• May God help us to avoid the terrible consequences suffered by David and his family!

• Our God will help us be the kind of parents that will succeed! (Prov 22:6)


• Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

how to raise a heartache. you will never regret taking the time to teach your children. consider the...

Documents

heartache slide

great comfort

complete commitment

precious soul

gods way