how to persevere

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  • 1. Why People Overcome Obstacles and HowBy Brian Patrick Jensen (All Rights Reserved 2012)

2. Introduction to perseverancePerseverance isachieving positivegrowth by overcomingadversity. 3. Introduction to perseverancePerseveranceis a process of choicesand actions, not apersonality trait. 4. Introduction to perseveranceApplicationWrite out a brief description ofthe problem, crisis or challengeyou now wish to overcomeI am newly deaf in a hearing world and I feelisolated and alone. I just lost my job. I am worriedabout supporting my family. My future livelihoodis very uncertain. 5. 5 things resilient people do1.Believe growth is a choice2.Stare down hard reality3.Find a higher meaning4.Visualize the extraordinary5.Take specific action 6. 1.) Believe growth is a choice We do NOT controlthe External worldAll other peopleTime and eventsEconomic pressuresMedical diagnosesWeather and seasonsHarm and tragedyHitting the lottery 7. 1.) Believe growth is a choiceWe DO control the Internal selfReactions to ExternalsDecisions, beliefs & valuesPlans (not outcomes!)Self-awarenessDesire, passion & energySkills and learningBehaviors and actions 8. 1.) Believe growth is a choiceWe can Influencethe External worldIt is ineffective to focus onthings you do not controlFocus on the ExternalDECREASES InfluenceFocus on the InternalINCREASES Influence 9. 1.) Believe growth is a choice Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved 10. 1.) Believe growth is a choiceApplicationWrite two lists concerning yourcurrent challenge:I do NOT Control I DO ControlThat Im deaf now How I communicateI am unemployed How I do job searchJob marketAsking for helpBias not to hire deaf My personal integrityTechnology limits Learning new skills 11. 2.) Stare down hard reality 12. 2.) Stare down hard reality The optimism trapResilient people keep things realWe are hard-wired unrealistic*Optimism: Denial in disguise*People hugely underestimate chances of getting divorced,losing a job and being diagnosed ill while overestimatingpersonal achievement, family fortune and life span.-Time Magazine: The Science of Optimism 13. 2.) Stare down hard realityInventory cold hard factsI lost all hearing; its permanentMiss my childrens voicesGet exponentially less informationI feel isolated; talk to less peopleInterpreting visual cues is exhaustingLip reading seems impossibleGetting a job is far more difficultYearn for sounds of music, nature, etc.Depleting all my money 14. 2.) Stare down hard reality Grieve with passion Holding back is unhealthy Sharing pain helps you & others Process toward healingSadness, anger and depression are sane reactions to greatloss. Grieving is a healthy process with stages that shouldbe experienced, not denied.- Coping with Grief and Loss: 15. 2.) Stare down hard realityAsk for specific help Admit you need help (Acceptance)Do not assume they know Show exactly what to do Never beg, apologize or demand Reinforce positive efforts 16. 2.) Stare down hard realityApplicationInventory all the cold hard facts ofyour situation. Select 1 item anddescribe specifically how anotherperson can help you with it.I can ask my daughters to text or email me aquick summary of their day, every day. Then Ican keep a running journal of communicationsbetween my kids and their Dad! 17. 3.) Find a higher meaning 18. 3.) Find a higher meaning Nature is more vivid Insight into human behavior Better comprehension via captions Keener of others true feelings New friends who understand Inspired by others feedback Better at sharing my heart Closer to my children 19. 3.) Find a higher meaningApplicationWrite your own list of lessonslearned or desirable outcomes thatactually occurred as a result of yourdifficulty.Caution: List only firm convictions, facts or actualevents. This is not a wish list or ambiguous hopethat something good will come. It must be real. 20. 4.) Visualize the extraordinarySee higher purpose to currentstruggles via a concrete vision: Visualization techniques (as in athletes) Imagine specifically Dreams Awake Set concrete goals for future 21. 4.) Visualize the extraordinary 22. 4.) Visualize the extraordinaryApplicationImagine a future of happiness andaccomplishment beyond* yourcurrent struggles. Be very specificand write it down. Dream big!*Note: Beyond does not mean without if your currentproblem is permanent. I didnt visualize to be cured of mydeafness; rather to use my hearing loss to inspire othersthat they can overcome their struggles too. 23. 5.) Take Specific action Memorized Sarahs speech Wrote daughters a poem Started new blog Took sign language classes Contacted HLAA / ALDA Dusted off telescope Started networking Obtained great job references Created this presentation! 24. 5.) Take specific actionApplicationWrite your own list of actions thatyou can do right now to either dealwith your problem or move towardyour future vision. Then do it!Add to your list to complete the ApplicationExercises from this training within a week! 25. 5 things resilient people do1.Believe growth is a choice2.Stare down hard reality3.Find a higher meaning4.Visualize the extraordinary5.Take specific action 26. Be inspired every day! 27. Perseverance: Why People Overcome Obstacles and How By Brian Patrick Jensen (All Rights Reserved 2012)

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