HOW TO MAKE YOUR WRITING SHINE

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Richard‘s wife came back home after the advanced training class ， feeling very tired 。 exhausted;weary I used to do a lot of homework even at weekends. ----I used to have to work even at weekends doing endless homework. He didn’t listen to what I said in the class. ---- He turned a deaf ear to what I said in the class.A new railway is being built in my hometown.　　 A new railway is under construction in my hometown.

 

■How to enrich your vocabulary■ 1 ． I like swimming best ． （ 我 最 喜 欢 游泳）

■ My favorite sport is swimming ．■2 ． Today I received a letter from one of my friends ．（今天我收到一个朋友的来信）

■ heard from ■3 ． I hope you can write me back soon ．（希望你尽快给我回信）

■ I am looking forward to hearing from you ．■4.Suddenly I thought out a good idea■ came upon 发现 ;occur to 想起■A good idea occurred to me.

■5.He decided to study hard last term.■. has made up his mind, was determined to ■6.We all think he is a great man■ think highly of the man. ■7 ． Women are more important than before _in society ．

■ are playing a more important part■8 ． There are many trees and flowers in our school ．

■Our school is covered with many trees and flowers.

■9 My hometown is in the south of China■ is located in

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1. To his surprise, the little girl knows so many things.（使用名词性从句）

2. Though I’m weak, I’ll make the effort. ( 使用倒装句 )

3. He did not know what had happened until he had read the news in the newspaper.( 使用强调句型 )

4. I passed the physics exam because of your help.( 用虚拟语气）

What surprises him is that the little girl knows so many things.

HOW TO ENRICH YOUR SENTENCES

Weak as I am, I’ll make the effort.

It was not until he had read the news in the newspaper that he knew what had happened.

I couldn’t have passed the physics exam without your help.

5. She walked out of the lab and many students followed her. ( 使用过去分词 )

6. They sang and laughed as they went back to school.( 使用 V-ing 形式 )

7.I won’t believe what he says. （使用状语从句）

8.If you study hard, you will make rapid progress. （用并列句）

9 ． He had no sooner come back from Beijing than he was sent abroad. ( 使用倒装句 )No sooner had he come back from Beijing than he was sent abroad.

Followed by many students, she walked out of the lab.

Singing and laughing, they went back to school.

No matter what he says, I won’t believe it.

Study hard and you’ll make rapid progress.

并列选择原因结果时间

比较转折递进举例总结

Try to use transitional wordsand; as well as ; also;or; either—or; or else; otherwisebecause ; owing to; due to ;on account of ; thanks toso ; therefore ; thus ; as a resultwhen ;soon after ; before; later ; first ; and then ; next ; finally; afterwards.on the contrary ; on the other hand ; likebut ; yet; however ; although; in spite of ; instead ; besides ; moreover ; even ; in additionfor example/instance; such as ; that is ; namely ;after all ; in short ; in general ; generally speaking in all, in a word

Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to our school !

Ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to our school! ① This village is very small. It has nearly 100 families and about 500 people. It used to be very poor. ②It has changed a lot since 1978 . ③ People here are richer than ④before. Now it is taking on a new look.

① This village is a small one with/which has nearly 100 families and about 500 people.

It used to be very poor. ② However,

it has changed a lot since 1978 ③

and has been developing very fast.

People here ④ live a much better life than before .

书面表达：例 1

Now it is taking on a new look.

1. Play with water

2. Splash water here and there/ flow around on the ground

1.Pass by /walk by / go past

2. Make him wet by splashing / splash him with water

Run away without / run away, leaving

1. Turn off 2. Be angry

1. Come back / return / get back

2. Feel ashamed / be sorry

Comment on the former composition:

One day after school, Xiao Ming turned on a tap and splashed water here and there. At this moment, Xiao Nong hapened to pass by. Xiao Ming splashed him with water and made him all wet. Xiao Ming ran away without turning off the tap. When Xiao Nong saw this, he went over and turned off the water. He angry because he thinks water shouldn’t be wasted. Then he went home and wrote a notice. He put it up on the wall near the tap. After some time, Xiao Nong went back and looked the notice. He felt sorry for what he had done.

2 加 was

3 thought

4 which read “Save water”.

5 saw

Attention:

1单

词拼

写要

正确

3时

态语

态要

准确

2句

子结

构要

完整

5词

语运

用要

无误

4短

文要

点要

完整

1. 改为 happened

书面表达解题步骤：

1 、审，即：审定体裁、题材、 人 称、时态、结构等； 2 、编，即：编写要点，按顺序列出；3 、写，即：连词成句，连句成文；4 、查，即：查内容，查格式， 查语法，查书写等。

1 、审定体裁、 题材；2 、审定人称；3 、审定时态；4 、审定要点；5 、审定结构。

最近，你校师生帮助辍学的李明同学返校。请根据下表提供的信息，给报社写一封信，客观介绍这一情况。

李明情况 师生情况1 、学习好；品德好；2 、父病故；母病重；3 、退学；

1 、震惊；2 、捐款、募捐；3 、使李明返校；

注意： 1 、信的开头已为你写好。 2 、词数： 100 左右。 3 、参考词汇：捐款 offer money; 募捐 collect money

1 、审定体裁、题材：

2 、审定人称：3 、审定时态：4 、审定要点：5 、审定结构：

审题提示 :

① 书信、李明遭遇② 第三和第一人称③ 现在时、过去时④ 见作业纸⑤ 可分为两段

Dear editor ， I’m writing to tell you what the teachers and students have done to help a student who discontinued his studies in our school. Li Ming is a student of our school. He is not only good at his studies but also always ready to help others. But he had to leave school because his father died and his mother is seriously ill. As a result, he had to make money to help his family. Hearing the news, all the teachers and students were shocked. In order to help Li Ming, we decided to offer money to him and some students went out to collect money for him in the streets. With our help, Li Ming has already returned to school. With best wishes! (100) Yours, Wei Fang学生佳作欣赏！

NMET 2003 假设你是李华，你的英国笔友 Bob 将于九月到你所在的城市的建新华文学校来学中文，来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提供的信息，写信介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为 25 平方米，月租 500 元。

注意： 1. 词数： 100 左右；

2. 参考词汇： 房租： rent (n.)

表达要点：

1. 开头；

2. 公寓的设施：一室带浴室、厨房；

3. 公寓面积、家具（ 25 平方，床、沙发、书桌、椅子）；

4. 公寓的位置（芳草街，离学校一站远）；

5. 月租 500 元；

6. 结尾。

根据表达要点写出书面表达。开头、结尾的内容要注意合乎逻辑、语言得体。

审 题

1. 行文逻辑是否恰当影响得分Dear Bob,

I’m happy to know that you want to study Chinese in Jianxin Chinese School in my city this September. Glad to tell you that I have found a house for you near the school.

The flat lies in a building in (on/at) Fangcao Street nearby. It’s on the third floor, which covers an area of 25 square metres, including a living room, there is a sofa, a bed and a desk with a light and a chair. Fortunately, the rent is not high, about 500 yuan a month.

In addition, outside your building there is a bus stop, you can get school at the next bus stop.

I’m looking forward to your arrival.

Best wishes! Yours,

Li Hua

点评 1 、全文语句流畅自然，质朴悠扬， 几乎一气呵成，尽管房子位于芳草街不用介词 in 而用 on / at ， 但整篇文章这逻辑美仍幽雅动人。评卷老师一致认为应给满分 25 分。

2 、应用了较多高级词汇，如： lies \ covers \ including \ with \ fortunately \ in addition \ look forward to 等，也是得分的因素之一。

Dear Bob,

You say (said) you will (would) study Chinese in Jian Xin Hua Wen School in my city and want (wanted) me to find a room for you in your last letter. I have some information about it to tell you.

The room is in (on) the third floor of a building which stands in (at) the Fang Cao Street on which the No.11 bus stop lies so that you can go to school by bus every day. Besides, the room covering 25 square metres includes a bedroom, a toilet and a kitchen. What’s the most importance (important), the rent isn’t very expensive, only 500 yuan a month.

Hope you will like it! By the way, have a good journey when you come. Yours, Li Hua

点评 全文尽管有不少错误， 但最为闪亮的是该同学驾驭语言行文逻辑的能力不错， 也用到了一些复杂句，最后得分18 分。

2. 是否使用高级词汇影响得分Dear Bob,

How are you? I have found a good place for you to study here. It’s on the third floor of a tall building just behind the Fangcao Street stop of the No.11 bus. And the next stop is the Jian Xin Hua Wen School, so it’s easy to get to the school.

The place (flat) covers an area of 25 square metres. There is a large (small, or large) bedroom with a bed, sofa and a desk in it. Next to the bedroom there is a kitchen and a bathroom, both of which keep some necessary furniture. And the rent is 500 RMB per month. I’m looking forward to your reply.

Best wishes! Yours,

Li Hua

点评 本文所使用的高级词汇有： just behind / cover / next to / both of / keep / look forward to 等， 最后得分 23 分。

3. 是否使用复杂句影响得分Dear Bob,

How glad I was when I got the news that you would come to my city to learn Chinese in Jianxin Hua Wen School. As soon as I knew your plan, I went to many places near the school to find a flat for you. Now I’ll introduce it to you.

The flat is at (on) the third floor of a tall building in (at / on) the Fangcao Street, and there is a bus stop near the building, so it’s very convenient for you to go to the school. The flat which covers an area of 25 square metres contains a toilet, a small kitchen and a bedroom. Besides, there are many furnitures (no pl. form), such as a desk, a chair, a bed and so on. The rent of the flat is 500 yuan a month. I’m sure you will like the small but beautiful house.

Best wishes!

Yours,

Li Hua

点评 本文除个別错误外，还用了几个高级词汇，如： convenient / cover / besides / the small but beautiful, 更为可贵的是至少用了三个非常好的复杂句：感叹句与同位语从句“ How glad I was when I got the news that you would come to my city to learn Chinese in Jianxin Hua Wen School.” ； As soon as 引导的状语从句； I’m sure 引导的宾语从句，最后得分 24 分。

4. 语篇信息影响得分 Dear Bob,

I’m glad to know that you’ll come to Jianxin Hua Wen School in our city to study Chinese. In your last letter, you asked me to look for a house. And now, I’ll tell you something about it.

The house is in (on / at) Fangcao Street and it’s behind the No.11 bus stop, so you can take it and get off at the next bus stop to the school. So it’s convenient for you. The house is 25 square meters in size and the rent of it is 500 yuan per month. It includes three rooms: (a) bathroom, (a) kitchen and (a) bedroom which has (a) sofa, (a) bed, (a) desk and so on. You can have a good rest when tired. Meanwhile, the environment is also very good. Trees and grass are around your house. I’m sure you’ll be glad about it.

Wish you a good time here and study Chinese well.

Yours,

Li Hua

点评 全文的语篇信息基本给全：有问候语、房间位置、大小、房租、结束语，此外，也用到了一些高级词汇 in size / include / get off / convenient / meanwhile / environment 等，也有少许复杂句，最后得分 24 分。

卷面整洁与否，书写工整与否影响得分

有一位考生的书面表达，整个文章书写特别规范，字迹式整，耐看，信息基本给出，有个别高级词汇 hear from, 有个别复杂句结构： ask somebody to do something, 没有很好地使用 there be 结构，属第三档低分位给分，但由于卷面整洁，书写工整，最后在第三档高位给分 15分。

小　结

1. 行文逻辑是否恰当影响得分

2.是否使用高级词汇影响得分

3.是否使用复杂句影响得分

4.语篇信息影响得分

卷面整洁与否，书写工整与否影响得分

根据下列图画中 Tom骑自行车的经历，用英语写一篇短文。短文要写得连贯、完整。

字数 100字左右。

审 题 1 、体裁：叙述 Tom骑自行车的经历，为记叙文体 2 、主要时态：一般过去时，叙述描绘一起交通事故

3 、人称：第三人称 Tom

4 、要点：记叙描绘文体，抓住四个要点：时间、地点、人物、事件的前后经过。

词 • 句 • 文Words ： ① to ride a bike

② to hit his bike and fall offSentences： ①Tom was riding a bike along the street.

②The car hit his bike and he fell off it.

Passage ： The other day, Tom was riding along the s

treet. Suddenly, a car was running towards h

im fast and hit his bike, then he fell off it.

The other day, Tom was riding along the street.

Suddenly, a car was running towards him fast. He was so

frightened that he quickly turned to the left side. But it

was too late. The car hit his bike and he fell off it. When

the driver realized that he had caused an accident, he got

such a fright that he took flight with his car. He was soon

out of sight, leaving Tom helpless on the spot. Fortunately

a passer-by happened to see what had happened and

remembered the number of the car. He reported this to the

police. Now the driver has been caught and will be

punished for his wrong doing.

Rome is not build in one day .Practice makes perfect.