“Knowing how to control emotions can single handedly turn your life around”

Emotions – This single word had given me so much trouble in my life. There was a time when most of my life was governed by my emotions. It did not matter what I thought consciously, my actions always followed my emotions.

Even though I fully realized my emotions were hurting me more than helping me, I could not do anything about the situation. I felt helpless & out of control. My emotions were ruling my life.

What did I do?

To say I struggled to control my emotions would be a big understatement. I sought out hundreds of books, seminars, audio programs, websites to learn how to control my emotions. I was willing to take action and test various “methods” that I learned.

After much effort, I found few of the REALLY EFFECTIVE techniques to take control over my emotions. In this post, I want to share with you some of the best advises I have found which made a huge positive impact on my life.

How to control your emotions?

1- Focus

Many people make the mistake of focusing on what they don’t want. They keep repeating what could go bad in the situation. Even if there is a 50-50 percent chance of things going good or bad, they focus on the bad 50%.The reason for this is social conditioning. Since our childhood we have been taught to avoid bad situations much more than focusing on the good ones. Our minds have become habitual in focusing on the negative. You don’t have to think about it. Your mind just

automatically focuses on the negative. This creates all kinds of negative thoughts and feelings.

To control your negative emotions, you have to take your mental focus under your control. Instead of fighting your negative emotions, dwell on the positive. As your focus changes, your emotions change automatically. Your feelings are always a result of your thoughts and your thoughts are created by your mental focus.

The next section will tell you how to easily and effectively change your mental focus anytime you want.

2 – Change your mental images

This is one of the most effective techniques to change your mental focus.Whenever you start feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions like fear, worry, anxiety, just imagine a still mental picture of what you want. For example – if you are waiting for your turn to give an job interview and are feeling worried & anxious, just imagine the interviewer shaking your hand with a big smile and saying – “welcome aboard, from which date can you join the office?”

There is a tremendous power in positive images. If you have seen movie – the secret, you know researchers have concluded positive emotions are much more powerful than negative ones.While you have this advantage over your negative emotions, you must make a choice to imaging a positive picture in your mind even though your body is filled with anxiety & fear.

Remember to not fight negative emotions. You will never win. The more you try to resist or suppress negative emotions, the stronger they will get. Instead, just change your focus.

All I am asking you to decide that even if you are feeling overwhelmed at this moment, put a positive mental picture in your

mind and keep re-viewing it frequently until you start feeling completely calm & confidant.

Don’t doubt the effectiveness of this technique because of its simplicity. Try it out with an open mind. It is simple, easy and very powerful. You will love the effect it has. The best part is that you can do it anytime you want. You can change your thoughts and feelings at any instant.

3 – Positive Questions

If you are into NLP or other behavioral science, then you must have come across fact that questions are tremendously powerful in changing our focus. A right question asked at a right time can make a huge positive impact on our mind.If you want to know more about power of questions in detail, check here.Coming back to the topic of controlling emotions & feelings… if anytime you find yourself feeling angry, frustrated, anxious, sad or any other similar emotions due to something other person did to you, then ask yourself this question – “what else could it mean?”

Your mind is wired to provide you answer of any question you ask from it. If you ask a question like – what else could it mean? your mind will come up with several answers for the behavior of the other person and many of them will be positive.

For example – If you came home from bank furious because the cashier was rude to you, instead of dwelling on your automatic initial conclusion that he was a jerk, ask yourself – what else could it mean?

Your mind will come up with several reasons like – maybe he was having a pretty bad day & you just got caught in his line of fire, maybe he is stressed out due to some financial or family crisis, maybe he is not well & acting cranky because of it, etc.

In case you originally come up with more negative reasons, just keep coming up with more until you find a positive reason and decide to believe it.

This was an easy example but do not underestimate the power of questions to focus your mind. Try it out. See how well it works for you.

4- Change the meaning

Another very powerful way to control emotions is to change the meaning of the behavior/Event which is causing the problem. Start seeing things in a different light. View situations from different angles.

Universe has given man an extraordinary ability of make ANY meaning out of ANY situation. For example – If it is raining outside, you could think this is so bad because you are stuck inside your house OR you could think it is good because you finally got a change to read that book you brought last week.

See that? Same situation, different meanings.

You have the ability to make positive meaning out of any negative situation. Things going bad in office? Maybe its time to change your current job & go after a higher paying one. Looking a little fat in the mirror? Maybe its time you learn more about health & nutrition so you can live healthy all your life.

Humans are the only species on earth who have been blessed with such tremendous power of rationalization. But as with any kind of power, you have to use it properly or it will do more harm than good.

Keep a check on your mind. Catch it when it starts making negative meanings out of an event. Take back control. Consciously look for positive intent of that situation.When you first start this behavior, your mind will resist your interference a lot. Like a small child, your mind has become habitual in generating negative meanings from situations because it is doing that from a long time.

You have to be persistent here. Just keep on rationalizing things as positive, and soon it will become a new habit. It will free you from a lot of mental clutter and negative emotions. You will feel much more in control and your happiness level will skyrocket!If you want more information on how to change meaning of any life event, check this post.

So that’s it.

These are some very effective techniques to change your mental focus and hence letting you have more control over your emotions. It’s up to you to use what you have learned here today to make your life fulfilling & happy.

Life is too precious to dwell on negativity & mediocrity. Take full responsibility for your emotions and take charge. You have learned some tools to take back control over your emotions. Do want you want to do. Feel what you want to feel. Achieve all that you dreamed for. Design your life the way you want.

I wish you all the best.

*Read more at: www.gameligit.com*