how to help workshop: children of divorce
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How to help Workshop: Children of divorce. Maddison Davis School Counseling Services. Overview. Statistics Divorce in America Are the Children At Risk? Affects on Children How Can You Tell A Child is Hurting? Parental Reactions How Should A School Counselor React? Advice for Parents - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
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HOW TO HELP WORKSHOP:CHILDREN OF DIVORCE
Maddison DavisSchool Counseling Services
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Overview Statistics
Divorce in America Are the Children At Risk?
Affects on Children How Can You Tell A Child is Hurting? Parental Reactions How Should A School Counselor React?
Advice for Parents Activity: Letter to Parents
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Statistics: Divorce in America 1 million + children
feel the effects of their parents’ divorce every year
Nowadays: 50% of marriages
end in divorce 60 % of second
marriages end in divorce
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Statistics: Are the Children At Risk?
Studies show that divorce may negatively affect the children later on in life They are more likely to:
have trouble with commitment and intimacy as adults
have negative attitudes towards love and marriage develop a variety of psychosomatic symptoms exhibit a decrease in school performance experience depression show signs of behavior difficulties get a divorce themselves
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How Divorce Affects Children 0-3 year olds
Can show irritability, increased crying, fearfulness, sleep problems, separation anxiety, regression, and aggression
4-5 year olds Can become clingy, act out, show fear of abandonment, have nightmares
more frequently 6-12 year olds
May show more aggression, act out, have more mood swings, feel rejected by the “secondary” parent, have decrease in school performance
Adolescents Can have decreased self-esteem, experience more relationship problems,
engage in substance abuse and inappropriate sexual behaviors, experience depression, delinquent behavior
At all ages The children may try to play one parent against the other They also may
feel guilty—like the divorce was their fault—and feel that they should try to restore the marriage
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How Can You Tell If A Child Is Hurting?
Children may come in or be sent to your office because they… Become oppositional and
defiant Experience their own
relationship difficulties Show a decrease in academic
performance or behavioral conduct
Engage in substance abuse behaviors
Develop eating disorders Withdraw from family and
friends In an attempt to bring his or
her parents back together, a child may Act out Be “the perfect child”
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Parental Reactions
overreact to daily stressors
consume more alcohol seek out mental health
services for depression or anxiety
become more distant feeling pushed away
abuse alcohol or other substances
develop depression or anxiety
Mother is more likely to Father is more likely to
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How Should You React As A Counselor?
With students: Always have an open-door Offer ideas for healthy displacement If a student is upset, offer alternative ways
for looking at each situation It is incredibly important for a counselor to
not choose sides with either parent, but to instead choose the student’s side
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Advice for Parents Encourage children to maintain a positive
relationship with both parents Maintain a stable routine Don’t bash the “other” parent in front of or to
your children Don’t lean on your child for emotional support Make sure your children are surrounded by a
supportive network of friends and family Above all else: LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU
WILL STILL BE THEIR PARENTS
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Activity! Letter to Parents
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References http://counselingcorner.net/parents/divor
ce.html
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/110/5/1019.full
http://www.cadivorce.com/california-divorce-guide/parenting-through-divorce/activities-to-help-children-with-divorce/ http://www.boyertownasd.org/Page/1208
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Thank You!