how to help a child cope with a bully

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Go back 30 or 40 years, long before the debut of the internet, and kids dealt with their problems a lot differently than they do today. They scuffled on the playground or got into a verbal argument, and eventually all was forgotten. Here are some signs you need to be aware of Your Child May be the Victim of a Bully and Tips to help your child.


  • 1. How to Help a Child Cope with a BullyGo back 30 or 40 years, long before the debut of theinternet, and kids dealt with their problems a lot differentlythan they do today. They scuffled on the playground orgot into a verbal argument, and eventually all wasforgotten. Its a vastly different time and a vastly differentworld, one in which school violence has become commonplace in countries such as the United States. Add that tothe emergence of cyber bullying, which can and has ledto the victim committing suicide, and bullying has becomea major problem for children in the 21st century.Bullying is a problem that typically touches all parents to some extent whether theirchildren are victims of bullies, the actual bullies, or witnesses to the bullys behavior. Asa result, its important to educate yourself as to the signs of bullying and how you canhelp your child if he becomes a bullying victim.Signs Your Child May be the Victim of a BullyChildren often suffer in silence when they are bullied. Every bullying victim, whoremains silent, has his own reason for doing so. Sometimes bullying victims believe theycan take control of the situation and get the bullying to stop. Others fear retaliationfrom the bully or dont believe anyone is going to care. Some are ashamed and dontwant their parents to know what is being said about or done to them.Bullying victims shouldnt have to suffer in silence. Thats why its so important that you,as a parent, know the warning signs that may indicate that your child is being bullied,including: Headaches or stomach issues Pretends to be sick to stay home from school Trouble sleeping and/or experiences nightmares Missing items, such as schoolbooks, mobile phones, and other personalpossessions Bruises that cannot be explained A drop in grades 1Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter

2. Becomes depressed or experiences a fluctuation of moods Trying to find different ways to come home from school Starts eating lessThis is by no means an exhaustive list of the signs that your child may exhibit if he isbeing bullied. You know your child best, so if he starts displaying behaviors that areout of character, be sure to talk to him.Tips for Helping Your Child Deal With BullyingBecause children often suffer in silence when they are bullied, parents must be awareof their childs behavior which will likely signal there is a problem. Take action at thefirst sign of a bullying problem. Some ways you can help your child include:Talk with your child. Bullying victims often feel powerless and embarrassed about whatis happening. Some kids may worry that their parents or others will view them as weakfor being bullied. Encourage your child to talk with you and to tell you what is goingon. Be sure to emphasize that it is not your childs fault for being bullied the blamelies squarely with the bully.Discuss how to deal with the bully. It may be a childs first instinct to fight back or toget back at the bully through aggression of his own. Responding in an aggressive wayto a bully will only escalate the situation. Instead, encourage positive action such aswalking away when the bully approaches, ignoring the bully, and telling the bully toleave him alone. Some children are worried about being labeled tattletale if theytalk to an adult about the bullying. Encourage your child to get a teacher or anotheradult and remind him he is not a tattletale.Get as much information as possible about the bullying situation. Ask your child for thename(s) of the child who is bullying him, where the bullying incidents typically takeplace (in the classroom or at lunch, for example), and what the bully is doing to them.Find out if your child has approached an adult for help.Bullying should be takenseriously, especially when a child is threatened by the bully if he tells anyone.Unfortunately, a bullying situation can escalate quickly, so always take it seriously. 2Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter 3. Contact the school. Many schools now have policies on how they deal with bullyingsituations. Talk with school officials to determine their policy and what action can betaken to deescalate the situation and to keep your child mentally and physically safe.Always keep notes of the discussions youve had (including date and time) and theactions the school has promised to take.Its easy to get caught up in wanting to fight to protect your child. Instead, try to keepthe situation positive. Do not verbally attack the bully. Rather, talk with school officialsto determine how to alleviate the situation for everyone involved especially yourchild.Help your child feel safer and more confident. Carve time out each day to read TheBubble: Emotional Management and Protection and Bullying with your child and helphim create a bubble of safety around him, so he can feel secure and self-confidentno matter what he deals with, including a bully. 3Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter 4. About the AuthorMy name is Stuart Walter and I am a professionally trainedClinical Hypnotherapist, I specialise in elite sports and businessperformance. I work with people to maximise performance,attitude and results. My clients include State, National,Commonwealth and World Champions, within the walls of myprofessional offices in Brisbane, Australia, many lives have beentransformed forever.However, it is as a father that I continue to experience the greatest pleasure in seeingthe enormous growth and development that occurs when children are provided withthe opportunity to release the endless potential and abilities that lie within. Havingbeen around Hypnotherapy and natural therapies all of my life (both my parentswere practitioners), I know the abilities we all have within us.As a parent myself, I marvel each and every day at the growth and development ofmy own son as he learns, lives, explores and evolves. He makes me laugh, he makesme cry and leaves me speechless with his antics, knowledge and ability to live andlearn.Creating champions is in my blood and I am pleased to be able to share my passionand abilities with you in creating the path in life for your own little champions.Stuart WalterStuart WalterCreator of Meta4Kids.Download HereEMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT AND PROTECTION/BULLYINGSTORY 2"THE BUBBLE"This story is underpinned by an amazing process Stuart uses with his clients to manageemotional responses to stop carrying the additional weight of emotional baggage. 4Copyright 2007 Stuart Walter