how to get through to absolutely anyone — mark goulston
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How to Get Through to
Anyone
This presentation consists of highlights from the interview with Moe Abdou,
founder & host of 33voices®.
Over his career as an organizational consultant, relationship coun-selor, and hostage-negotiation trainer, Mark Goulston has found what works, consistently, to reach all kinds of people in any type of situa-
tion. What it comes down to is “Daring to Care” which is the mission of the global community Heartfelt Leadership that he co-founded.
Mark Goulston@markgoulston
Founder of Heal the World, One Conversation at a Time
A great listener is one who has been listened to in a way that has changed her life - forever!
Insight #1
Insight #2
The purest form of listening is to listen without memory or desire.
Insight #3
Want to help someone you care about become a better listener? Start by listening to them.
Insight #4
Often, what you see is not all there is. Become a first class notice(r) by
listening between the words.
Insight #5
To understand and respond to another person’s dreams, hurts and fears
is the most potent tool you’ll ever discover for getting through to anyone you meet in
business or in your personal life.
Insight #6
To strengthen your interpersonal influence, opt not to win arguments.
Win hearts and minds instead.
Insight #7
Next time you’re trying to get through to a difficult person,
try following this Persuasion Cycle:
Insight #7
Next time you’re trying to get through to a difficult person,
try following this Persuasion Cycle:From resisting to listening
Insight #7
Next time you’re trying to get through to a difficult person,
try following this Persuasion Cycle:From listening to considering
Insight #7
Next time you’re trying to get through to a difficult person,
try following this Persuasion Cycle:From considering to ‘willing to do’
Insight #7
Next time you’re trying to get through to a difficult person,
try following this Persuasion Cycle:From ‘willing to do’ to doing
Insight #7
Next time you’re trying to get through to a difficult person,
try following this Persuasion Cycle:From doing to ‘glad they did
and ‘continuing to do’
Insight #8
Listen TO someone and hear what they say. Listen INTO that same person and you’ll notice what they’re not saying.
Insight #9
Make another person ‘feel felt’ and win their hearts; make them feel valuable and you’ll
touch them in a much deeper way.
Insight #10
“Listen! Clam up your mouth and be silent like an oyster shell, for that tongue of yours is the
enemy of the soul, my friend. When the lips are silent, the heart has a hundred tongues.”
- Rumi on Listening
Reflect: How likely are you to make a snap judgement about a person you meet for the first time?
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Presentation created by Chase Jennings
Insights by Moe Abdou