how to fail with agile
TRANSCRIPT
Agile practice
How to fail with Agile
Filip SpirkoskiIgor Stojanovski
1
IN YOUR ZONE2
•Scrum is a silver bullet
•Who cares about management support
•Hierarchy, Micromanagement, Scrum roles
•Feel free to blindly follow or do things your way
•Estimations are relative
•Keep the vision of the project a top secret.
•The commitment is only a guideline
•Improvement is for amateurs!
•Q &A
Agenda
IN YOUR ZONE 3
Do not look any further. Scrum is the solution to all
your problems. The ultimate silver bullet…
Scrum is a silver bullet
IN YOUR ZONE 4
Scrum is so easy you need no experience or
training. Anyone can do it!
You need no training…
IN YOUR ZONE
Who cares about management support
5
Don't care about management support. What do they know after all?
IN YOUR ZONE
Hierarchy
6
Make sure your tech, team, dev and other lead types are very good at making orders. Make sure all of the others are good at following them …
IN YOUR ZONE 7
Micromanagement
Micromanage everything! Those juniors are going to screw everything up if you don't control every aspect of their work. And that new guy, who the hell knows what he's up to?!
IN YOUR ZONE 8
Team size does not matter…
Try to get as much people in your team as you can! The more we are, the chances someone will know how to solve all out problems is much bigger.
IN YOUR ZONE 9
Feel free to blindly follow…
Don’t ask why, just do it. Blind obedience…
IN YOUR ZONE 10
….or do things your way!
Scrum is about agility! Feel free to change everything, meetings, ceremonies, roles. Be the master of your own destiny!
IN YOUR ZONE 11
Estimations are relative…
Tell the client what he wants to hear. If you cant really make it, you can always add some overtime hours.
By the way, story points? What’s that..?!
IN YOUR ZONE 12
Keep everyone in the dark…
Why would you need to know where we're really heading? A couple of steps ahead is quite enough of info. The client considers this project a top secret anyway!
IN YOUR ZONE 13
Who invented time-boxing?! I mean really..
Time boxing is for people who haven't heard that The devil is in the detail! Don’t let a single meeting end until all the details have been defined!
…or somebody die!
IN YOUR ZONE 14
Commitment it’s just a noun…
We can only promise the client that he will get... somewhere. We can't promise anything. Its agile. Things are effervescent , constantly changing, fluctuating!
IN YOUR ZONE 15
Improvement is for amateurs!
Hulk does not improve…
… Hulk smash!
IN YOUR ZONE 16
Conclusion
…let’s set up a new meeting
IN YOUR ZONE
Q & A
17
Q & A
IN YOUR ZONE
The end
18
Surviver 1:Filip [email protected]: en_fspirkoski
Surviver 2:Igor [email protected]: en_istojanovski
thank you